Thursday, April 04, 2002
ďFear of PowerĒ
ďSmall or Large, the Expression of Discounting Self Is the SameĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Daryl (Ashrah).
Elias arrives at 5:59 PM. (Arrival time is 22 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
DARYL: Hello, my ever-present friend.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And so I am!
DARYL: Good to talk to you objectively again.
ELIAS: And how shall we proceed?
DARYL: Iíve got one major thing I want to talk to you about and a whole bunch of little questions. The major thing has to do with what you told me last time about fear, and that my communication is that I am generating within myself ďan association of generating dangerous energy.Ē
So, I have been thinking about the dangerous energy part of it, plus I have also received multiple communications to myself regarding duplicity and my denial of choices, what choices Iím denying or not even seeing. I feel that those two areas are connected, and I also feel that I reached some kind of breakpoint last week that is allowing me to move forward in this area. I guess we can start with the dangerous energy part.
ELIAS: Very well, specify.
DARYL: One thing is that Iíve realized that I consider all of my energy dangerous to some extent. Imagery-wise I think of it as very forceful and hard to control, like a fire hose that is spewing water and you can hardly hold onto it.
I also am aware that I think of it as dangerous when I am widening and getting into the unfamiliar, and also that when I start feeling powerful then I tend to crash into the opposite of that.
I also feel itís dangerous when Iím being in the world, not trying to be invisible, and Iím breaking my rules about whatís good and bad to do. And so I am kind of unclear about what you were meaning when you talked about dangerous energy and if it includes all of those.
ELIAS: You have accurately assessed. For in this, you are allowing yourself the beginning viewing of your genuine power and the translation of this as essence, and that you actually do incorporate the ability to generate ANY expression that you choose.
Many times as an individual presents to themselves an awareness objectively of this tremendous expression of power, it becomes almost threatening, for it is quite unfamiliar and you associate power as dangerous. For power, in your beliefs, may easily be misused.
DARYL: Yes, I know I hold the belief that power corrupts.
ELIAS: Which is not necessarily correct.
DARYL: No, but I am aware that I believe that.
ELIAS: Yes, and therefore you become suspicious of your own expression and your own power, for there is an automatic association that you shall fall prey to the corruption, for the corruption is viewed as an outside entity or expression that shall influence you or seduce you in a manner in which you shall become victim and therefore misuse the power that you incorporate.
DARYL: Since I have a lot of stuff aside from that about what is right and wrong and that being invisible is safe, donít I get a reaction like that when I am asserting myself?
DARYL: So itís two different power things: one normal being in the world and the other being essence in the world.
ELIAS: Yes, which in actuality is the same, but I am understanding your distinction. And in this, there is also generated the fear of exposure. (Daryl sighs)
I may express to you also, Ashrah, in this time framework there is being generated a tremendous wave in energy addressing to this subject matter of exposure. Many individuals are noticing and addressing to this action.
DARYL: When I was getting this sadness I recognized my duplicity and the depth of it. I know intellectually that I have other choices, but I finally discovered that I didnít REALLY know that I had a choice other than to be where I have been for years. Is that the major message that I have been trying to get through to myself regarding that?
DARYL: So, the choice is becoming more real. Thatís what I felt like last week, that I was opening new choices.
ELIAS: Correct. And this has been the presentment of quite a revelation, has it not?
ELIAS: Which has offered you a genuine glimpse of freedom.
DARYL: Yes. I gave myself a glimpse that I think was at the beginning of the wave. It was wonderful, but I also think it really scared me (laughs) because I went back to my old ways.
ELIAS: I am understanding. But in this, you have offered yourself this glimpse of genuine freedom in its expression and recognized the significance of your choices.
DARYL: And I feel that I am genuinely presenting myself with a choice to take down the energy block and stop doing the fear stuff.
DARYL: Thatís big stuff after all this time.
ELIAS: Quite. (Elias and Daryl laugh) I may be quite acknowledging of your movement, for you have accomplished significantly.
DARYL: Yeah, for a long time I felt like I was just hanging in there, but now I feel like Iíve made it over a hurdle.
I know I play out a lot of things with my bird. Lately when I take her out, especially in the evening, I start having breathing difficulties and feel fear. I know you talked about the energy being dangerous to me, but I feel like my energy is dangerous to her because she does that feather pulling thing, and also Iíve been afraid that me making a great change would result in her disengaging, which we talked about a year ago.
DARYL: Is that why Iím getting the fear with her?
ELIAS: Yes, and expressing personal responsibility in relation to the creature.
DARYL: Sheís also been increasing that picking activity, and I know itís been upsetting me. Iíve been going, ďItís all right, she isnít thinking of it the way youíre thinking of it.Ē
ELIAS: You are correct, although what is generated between individuals and creatures that they incorporate as pets is a dynamic in relationship which is different from the dynamics in relationship that you create with other individuals, for creatures are quite compliant and reflective of your energy expressions and your choices.
Now; this generates within many individuals an expression of responsibility which many times perpetuates the expression that they wish not to continue, for the creature shall be compliant with, in agreement with, your energy expression. It is reflective, but more than reflective it also generates expressions that you are not necessarily choosing to be expressing yourself but you are generating that energy outwardly. And in this, the creature, as a manifestation of consciousness that you are generating, is almost a pure expression of acceptance of whatever YOU express.
Now; what is meant in this is that creatures shall quite willingly express manifestations in reflection of your energy that you may not necessarily choose to actually be manifesting within yourself, but nonetheless you project that type of energy; and as you do, the creature is quite receptive of that energy and shall willingly create it, in a manner of speaking, figuratively, FOR you. But this is also the choice of the creature.
DARYL: I wanted to check with you about some other creatures. Last year I had a couple of cats outside that I talked to you about, and one of them was called the bad duplicity cat and the other the good duplicity cat. The bad duplicity cat disappeared last fall. A couple of weeks ago the good duplicity cat disappeared, and I wondered if it has chosen to disengage. (Pause)
ELIAS: Not yet.
DARYL: I had a feeling that I was transferring what I feared that I will express with my bird to that cat.
ELIAS: Your impression is correct, but the actual disengagement has not occurred yet.
DARYL: If there is anything else you think would be helpful for me to hear regarding what Iím going through with the dangerous energy, the fear and the opening up to other choices, I donít know exactly what to ask you.
ELIAS: I may be expressing to you that you are accomplishing well, and merely continue to acknowledge yourself and do not discount yourself, for you are allowing yourself to be noticing and paying attention and addressing to these movements, and therefore also accomplishing.
I may also express to you to be watchful of your energy, to not push or be forceful with yourself, for you shall accomplish much more easily if you are allowing a gentleness in your expression with yourself.
DARYL: I feel like Iíve been teaching myself more about how not to push. Also, if I stop thinking of my energy as so forceful and dangerous and realize that I donít have to control it to keep myself safe, then it would be easier to not push or try to control things.
ELIAS: Correct. It moves in a type of circle in either manner. If you are generating pushing or forcefulness, you reinforce the dangerous aspect and association. If you are allowing yourself to relax and express gentleness within yourself, you reinforce a trust and you dissipate this expression of dangerousness.
DARYL: Iím looking at my notes here. Another area that Iíve realized has been big for me has been separation, not just from essence but separation within myself, and I feel like Iím becoming really aware of it when I am separated within myself. Do you know what I mean by that?
DARYL: Am I also moving in that area so that there would be less separation within me?
DARYL: Do you have any suggestions in that area?
ELIAS: Merely that you allow yourself not to be generating anxiety in the moments in which you are experiencing this action.
DARYL: I do find it upsetting and want to try to change it...
DARYL: ...and then I just get into a struggle with it.
ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, as you allow yourself to relax and merely recognize that you are incorporating this action and not concern yourself with it and not express anxiety in association with it, you shall allow yourself to discontinue this action, for it is a temporary action that you are engaging.
And also, acknowledge to yourself that this is purposeful, for it illustrates to you the difference of expression of separation and the lack of separation, which allows you to experience these different expressions and therefore allows you to objectively generate a reality in your perception, rather than entertaining merely the concept of separation.
DARYL: And somewhat similarly, I feel like I am working my way through issues regarding struggle and that I am letting go of struggling to some degree and that thatís being reflected in what Iím creating.
DARYL: So now Iím going to start on my bunch of questions that I have. (Elias chuckles) I wondered if when manifesting in this reality if I have a preference for the orientation of soft? (Pause)
DARYL: Last time, I talked to you about the other essences involved, and you verified that the touches I was feeling and the light breeze were them. Iíve also now got a sensation on my scalp on the top of my head. My impression is that the touches are Ordin. (Pause)
DARYL: And that the scalp/top of the head is Otha? (Pause)
DARYL: And that the breeze is Twylah?
DARYL: Iíve been having a lot of contact with her. Iíve felt like sheís been assisting or facilitating what Iíve been doing the past month or so in my movement.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
DARYL: Before, I asked you about the breeze in the early 80s that I called Feather. Was that also Twylah?
ELIAS: An introduction, yes.
DARYL: Wow, thatís neat. She is the most distinct that Iíve felt. Itís like the gentle lapping of a lake, thatís how I experience that energy. Itís more distinctive when Iím trying to distinguish things. Iíve really been enjoying it. (Laughs)
ELIAS: I am understanding.
DARYL: I havenít noticed communications from the others. Are they doing things that Iím not noticing, or am I just not allowing them, doing them a few at a time?
ELIAS: The latter is correct.
DARYL: Oona has also been doing this, and she would like me to check her impressions: that touching, especially her right knee, is Ordin?
DARYL: And that she has a crawling on the top of her head and a taste in her mouth that she thinks is Twylah. (Pause)
DARYL: Sheíll be glad to hear that.
Also last time, I talked to you about Vold because Iíd been getting a lot of information about that family, and you said I was familiarizing myself with the families. And I have felt since that time that I then went on to do that with Tumold.
ELIAS: Yes, and so you have.
DARYL: And I thought that Twylah was also involved in that.
ELIAS: Yes, and this is...
DARYL: One thing Iím not clear on, is Oona participating in this with me? (Pause)
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct, and this is also the reason that you experience this energy of this essence more clearly or more intensely.
DARYL: Iím not as clear about this, but Iíve had the sense that perhaps Iíve finished with Tumold and Iíve begun with Borledim?
ELIAS: A slight movement.
DARYL: It seems that I have a tendency perhaps to begin interacting with someone who is aligned with or belongs to the family that Iím working with at that moment. Is that true?
ELIAS: Generally speaking, yes, but not absolute.
DARYL: So Iíve just done those three, basically, and I have the others all to go.
ELIAS: In your terms, yes.
DARYL: Yes (laughs), in my terms.
One of the physical things thatís been going on for years that I have associated with the energy block is a loud white noise in my right ear, and Iíve thought of it as that Iím not listening to something. Then last fall it decreased markedly.
When I heard about Lawrenceís disengagement, I not only had the breathing stuff come back suddenly but my ear began the noise at top volume again, and itís continued since then. Iím confused about what Iím communicating to myself with that.
ELIAS: The expression of Lawrenceís disengagement for many individuals Ė and yourself also Ė has stirred an examination of individualís beliefs and concerns and expressions of fear in relation to the action of disengagement, and you also present to yourself your imagery concerning your fear and concerns in relation to this action of disengagement in relation to self.
DARYL: Is there more communication then that I will get as the noise continues, and then it will decrease again?
ELIAS: In allowing yourself to turn your attention to you and examine your associations in relation to the action of disengagement, you shall dissipate the physical manifestation, for the imagery shall be unnecessary to gain your attention.
DARYL: So thatís telling me to turn my attention there?
Now; in this, let me express to you a direction. Your concerns and your fear is not generated in relation to the actual action of disengagement or death, but is expressed in issues that you view to be associated with death, one of which is the concern of how you shall be perceived at the moment of death and subsequent to your death.
DARYL: By people here?
DARYL: Boy, I wouldnít have thought that. Can you say a little bit more about that?
ELIAS: You do not express a tremendous fear concerning the actual action of death or that choice; but in relation to what you may associate in your beliefs as legacy or your affectingness that was expressed within your focus and how that is perceived by other individuals subsequent to your choice of death, you do generate an expression of fear. (1)
DARYL: Iíve been really unaware of that.
ELIAS: I am aware, and this is the reason that you generate this physical affectingness to gain your attention.
DARYL: Another thing that I havenít been able to get a good impression on is that for the past several years, Iíll make some ordinary movement and suddenly Iíll get a muscle pull or cramp that covers a large area of my torso. I have tried to figure out what thatís about and Iím coming up blank with that.
ELIAS: And the reason that you are, in your terms, blank is that the association of the physical manifestation and the movement is, in your terms, too simple. You have been attempting to offer yourself a more complicated expression that you may analyze.
In this, what you are generating is a physical manifestation to express a communication to yourself concerning what you view to be small movements Ė but the small movements within yourself that you express a dissatisfaction with, not in what you assess to be large issues but in small movements and directions and mundane expressions, in which you generate an automatic response within yourself that you are expressing dissatisfaction in what you have created, and momentarily and even quickly expressing to yourself that you could have generated that action better.
The reason that you offer this physical communication to yourself is to allow you the opportunity to pay attention, for it matters not whether you assess or measure an expression as large or small, for the small expressions, in your assessment, are generally generated much more often; and in that often-ness of these small mundane expressions, there is a consistent reinforcement of discounting of yourself, which lends energy to those expressions that you view to be large. Are you understanding?
DARYL: Iím not sure. Itís like my mind kind of went blank. (Laughs)
ELIAS: You turn your attention to issues that you view to be large: fear, relationships, expressions of yourself, duplicity. But within a time framework of a day, you may generate many actions, many movements in mundane activity in which you may generate an expression within yourself that you could have expressed the small action better.
You may be engaging a cleaning activity and you may generate what you assess as a small experience, and perhaps hypothetically in your activity of cleaning, spill water. As you generate that mundane activity, you momentarily express quickly within yourself, ďI may have generated that activity in a better manner,Ē and you are not noticing your own discounting of yourself.
It is an automatic response and expression in what YOU term small actions, small activities which you do not incorporate much analyzation of or incorporate much thought in relation to, BUT the action of discounting of yourself is nonetheless affecting. And in this, you generate a physical expression of affectingness which creates a brief expression but affecting, and is generated by a small movement.
DARYL: The movementís usually so small itís almost not noticeable.
ELIAS: Which is the communication, for the automatic response is generated in relation to actions and choices that you deem to be small, and therefore it is unnoticed.
DARYL: But the reaction also seems out of proportion.
ELIAS: But it is not, for as I have stated, it matters not whether you deem any action or choice to be small or large, the expression of discounting of yourself is the same.
DARYL: Well, that will be interesting when that happens again so that I can look at it, because I certainly wasnít getting that. Thereís so much of ourselves to understand in getting to know ourselves.
DARYL: So much communication itís mind-boggling!
ELIAS: You are correct, and this is the reason that it is significant to allow yourself to become familiar with yourself and generate a relationship with yourself.
DARYL: Another thing that Iíve also noticed for a long time is that all of a sudden Iím still inside, and it seems like Iíve been vibrating for a long, long time. Then the vibration suddenly stops and I notice it when it stops; I donít notice it while itís going on.
DARYL: Iíve wondered what that was, and Iíve also wondered if it has something to do with blinking in and out.
ELIAS: Not necessarily. This may be more associated with familiarity and freedom, for this is an action that you generate throughout your focus, in being familiar with certain expressions you do not notice. But as you offer yourself new expressions of freedom, you do notice in the lack of that familiarity.
DARYL: So when I feel like something suddenly stopped, then I can look to what Iím generating in that moment as having to do with freedom?
ELIAS: Yes. This may be analogous to generating a continuous noise within your environment that disrupts your hearing, but as you become familiar with the noise, you begin to not pay attention and not recognize its existence any longer. But if the noise disappears and your hearing is unobstructed, you are noticing.
DARYL: The next thing I want to check on is that I have an impression that I have a focus as a Buddhist monk.
DARYL: I also was thinking that it may be a current focus that I hold right now.
ELIAS: Not presently, but you are correct in its overlapping of this focus.
DARYL: Did that focus have some kind of connection with the Dalai Lama?
DARYL: So heís gone now, but he did overlap with me. Thatís interesting.
I also wanted to check with you, we previously discussed a current focus of mine who is a friend of Osama bin Laden. For a while I felt like I was getting bleed-through from him, a very low level of it, and that stopped a while ago and I wondered if he has disengaged. (Pause)
DARYL: Would that have been possibly the end of November? (Pause)
ELIAS: Next month.
DARYL: In December?
DARYL: Iíve discussed focuses from Nazi Germany with you, and in the past I got an image of a man in a black uniform and he is not any of the focuses that I have found out more about so far. And I wondered, is that a focus of mine in Nazi Germany? (Pause)
ELIAS: No. Oona.
DARYL: Thatís Oona?
DARYL: That surprised me! (Laughs) Now, is that an SS uniform?
DARYL: And the other impression I had when I was thinking that this was my focus was that there was an association with Mengele.
DARYL: Iíve also wondered how many focuses Oona and I share together, and I got two numbers. I got 36 and 81. (17-second pause)
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Now; view these two numbers. What is the commonality of these two numbers?
DARYL: I donít know. I donít see a commonality.
ELIAS: This is your puzzle that you have offered to yourself, Ashrah, for you are so very fond of analyzation. (Daryl laughs) There is a relationship between these two numbers and a commonality of expression of them.
DARYL: (Sighs) Okay... (Laughs)
ELIAS: Three-six and eight-one.
DARYL: Theyíre all divisible by three.
ELIAS: WHAT is divisible by three?
DARYL: The numbers, 36 and 81 Ė and by nine.
DARYL: Is nine the answer?
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Yes. (2)
DARYL: And thatís how many focuses we have?
DARYL: Oh boy!
ELIAS: Interesting game that you have generated with yourself!
DARYL: Now, that focus of hers that I just asked you about that turned out to be her with the SS, do I interact with her as one of my German focuses that I have identified?
DARYL: Iíve never picked up anybody elseís focus before. Is there some reason I did that?
ELIAS: Yes, for you are allowing yourself a genuine openness with this individual, and in generating the relationship that you engage with this individual and allowing yourself more of an openness with yourself in relation to this individual, you also are allowing yourself more of an openness in association with her.
DARYL: Well, she certainly has a lot of focuses to pick from! (Laughs with Elias) I still canít believe that 36 and 81 thing.
ELIAS: An interesting game.
DARYL: Yeah, and also an indication of playfulness lurking inside me.
ELIAS: Ah! The lurking playfulness, ah! And we were assured that you would be discovering this eventually. (Both laugh)
DARYL: I guess itís time!
ELIAS: But also in keeping with your fascination of analyzation, for you dare not view the simplicity of some expressions for complication is much more appealing.
DARYL: I guess so! (Elias laughs) Itís probably like struggle Ė it adds value.
ELIAS: Ah! Another belief that may be examined.
DARYL: Also, I got the name Clayton as a first name, and I was wondering if that is a focus of mine and if he is a future focus.
DARYL: Could you tell me how far into the future I have focuses? Iím kind of curious about that.
ELIAS: And your impression?
DARYL: I got an impression of 23rd but then I got one later than that but I canít remember what it was, but 23rd didnít seem very far away. I donít know, maybe 28th century.
ELIAS: Twenty-sixth century.
DARYL: Also I had an impression of something that was brown and furry, and it seemed to me that was my translation of another dimension.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
DARYL: Also, I had a dream that was me talking to a blonde Australian man, and I was wondering if in that dream I was my future focus from 22nd century Australia.
DARYL: I also wondered if the blonde man was a focus of Miranda. (Pause)
ELIAS: No, but is a future focus of Mirandaís sister.
DARYL: That would be Miranda/Anjuliís sister?
DARYL: The next night I had a dream about me meeting a man with blonde and white hair and a beard, and that seemed like that was me now, but Iíd also wondered if that was a focus of Miranda. (Pause)
ELIAS: Ah, you are correct, in past focus.
DARYL: So heís no longer alive?
DARYL: Was I a different focus? Because I felt like myself.
ELIAS: And the reason that you felt like yourself is that you are merely allowing yourself to view the environment of the focus but not actually tapping into your participation in that focus.
DARYL: But I did participate in it?
DARYL: Around the time when Miranda/Anjuli was making contact with Timothy, the fragmented future-focus related to you, I had a dream that I met two men in a restaurant and that they were both much younger than me. I only talked to one of them, and I wondered if the one I talked to represented Timothy and the other man was Tom?
DARYL: So I have been in contact with Timothy in that dream state?
ELIAS: Briefly, yes.
DARYL: Itís really interesting to me all the stuff Iíve been doing in my dream state!
As far as Oona goes, the last time we talked about my dream trigger being toilets and that she had started having dreams with toilets, and that that was an indication of her being in contact with me in those dreams. Now, she has told me in the past that she has dreams of Brad Pitt, and I find in the past few months that Brad Pitt is showing up in my dreams. Is that an indication to me that I am in contact with her?
DARYL: I told her I thought I got the better end of the deal on that. (Both laugh) Sheís getting decrepit toilets and Iím getting Brad Pitt!
I guess that pretty much covers what I had questions for, so if you have any parting words that would be fine, or we can sign off until next time.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I may express to you as always a tremendous encouragement, my friend, and shall continue to do so. And I may also express to you to be mindful of automatic responses, for they may not be viewed as any less significant than the expressions of fear that discount you.
And in this, I am also acknowledging of your attention and your allowance of yourself to be becoming much more familiar, and in this generating much less drama, are you not?
ELIAS: (Laughs) Therefore, my timid little mouse that is incorporating quite a new roar (both laugh), I may express to you my tremendous affection, my dear friend, and my anticipation of our next meeting. To you, au revoir.
DARYL: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 7:00 PM.
(1) This sentence originally read ďYou do not express a tremendous fear concerning the actual action of death or that choice, but in relation to what you may associate in your beliefs as legacy or your affectingness that was expressed within your focus and how that is perceived by other individuals subsequent to your choice of death, does generate an expression of fear.Ē
(2) Darylís note: During the session, I did try to add 3 to 6 and 8 to 1, but for some reason I didnít get 9. After the session I realized that each number also adds up to 9. Even later I realized that when you add those two 9s together it equals 18, which again adds up to a 9. I am impressed with my complexity!
© 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.