the Elias forum: Explore the transcript archive.

Home

Introduction

Digests

Transcripts

Exercises

Gems

Library

Search

Donate

Sunday, October 27, 2002

<  Session 1169 (Private)  >

ďComparison as an Automatic Response and an ExerciseĒ


Participants: Mary (Michael) and Debi (Oona).

Elias arrives at 11:57. (Arrival time is 26 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good day!

DEBI: Hello.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) And how shall we proceed?

DEBI: Well, I have quite a few quickie kind of questions. I thought weíd go through that.

ELIAS: Very well.

DEBI: Then I want to talk to you about whatís going on with me today, because I think it may be tied into stuff you talked about yesterday.

ELIAS: Very well.

DEBI: I want to ask you some focus impressions that I have. Do I have a future focus named Jerome?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: I think itís the one with the dark curly hair that I got the imagery of.

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Good. Is Jerome interactive with me? In other words, is he aware that Iím...?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Good, then thatís kind of fun. Is Aristotle a focus of mine?

ELIAS: Observing essence.

DEBI: I seem to do that a lot.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) All essences incorporate this action.

DEBI: Iím getting a wider view on that whole thing, just by the identification of it. But in the way that I get the info, I donít see any difference, you know? Thereís nothing thatís standing out yet, where Iím able to say, ďThatís an observing.Ē But I donít really think it matters all that much. Iím making my connections, and thatís what matters...

ELIAS: Correct. (Smiling and nodding)

DEBI: ...because itís all me.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Weíre talking about the Greek Aristotle?

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Is that why I was getting the word ďlambdaĒ? Itís a Greek letter in the alphabet. I got ď11.comĒ and I was getting all these ďlambda-11Ē and stuff. Did that relate to Aristotle?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Very good. Now, hereís another one. Ashrah spoke to you about a focus that she thought was hers, I think, but it actually related to one of mine. Is Leslie Van Houten a focus of mine?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Then that explains all that stuff! (Elias chuckles) Woo!

She got the information from me on a couple of others, Oliver Stone and Reinhold Heydrich, and you told her I was observing. I guess I kind of want to get clear on a few things. Do I observe the entirety with them? Am I in those focuses with them for the entirety?

ELIAS: No.

DEBI: With Oliver Stone, I have a real feel for the years he was in Vietnam, in that time period. Would that be...?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, observing essence in what you term to be adulthood.

DEBI: Am I still observing with him?

ELIAS: It is all simultaneous.

DEBI: Oh, yeah, huh? (Laughs with Elias) You know I canít hold very tightly to that stuff! I have to just let that kind of float around, because it doesnít fit neatly into anything I know, you know what I mean? (Elias chuckles) And the same with Heydrich Ė would that be more during his adult years?

ELIAS: No, what you term to be childhood time framework.

DEBI: The observing essence thing in general Ė I have this feeling that I kind of hang around more with well-known or famous people than I actually hold a primary focus in that capacity.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Would that relate to the observing?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Thatís kind of where I like to go. Then if it looks really interesting, I might go ahead and do my own thing in that neighborhood. Am I making sense?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Are there any other essences observing of this focus right now?

ELIAS: Yes; not known to you.

DEBI: How many?

ELIAS: Two, and one that in your terms was in childhood years.

DEBI: Very good. We answered that.

I was asking myself, trying to get a feel for how many famous/infamous focuses I might have, people I could actually get information on. I keep coming up with 82, but that number seems kind of like a lot. Iím wondering, is it a play with numbers, like eight plus two equals ten, or am I totally off the mark anyway?

ELIAS: Your latter impression is correct.

DEBI: Ten?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Would those be where Iím primary directing, famous or infamous type?

ELIAS: Not all.

DEBI: So I donít have a whole lot of folks I could really go on the Internet and get information on. (Both laugh) Iíll just do it the other way!

Do I have a focus that was involved in the Hudson Bay Trading Company? I feel like kind of an exploration theme.

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Moving right along! (Laughs)

Iím trying to get a feel for my time-span in general. I feel like I probably have a focus or more 35,000 B.C. I donít even know how far back, and I kind of would like to know. What are my earliest timeframes, and also, how far in the future? (Pause)

ELIAS: Earliest timeframe (40-second pause), two million years prior to now.

DEBI: Wow! Whoa! (Elias chuckles)

ELIAS: Future latest timeframe, 27th century.

DEBI: Do I have nine present-now focuses?

ELIAS: Six.

DEBI: I was way off on that one! We identified and I got confirmation in I think our first session that I had a focus named Rita Riser. Can you tell me if that is the Rita in the Beatles song about Rita? (Pause)

ELIAS: No.

DEBI: I had a dream about traveling to Scotland and the Isle of Wight. I think that was related to maybe holding focuses or a focus on the Isle of Wight.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: But thatís not current, right?

ELIAS: No.

DEBI: Hereís one that just keeps coming back around. I donít know if I just need to leave this alone, or if Iím actually getting anywhere. I know that I have a focus that is an SS guy in World War II. I also know I have a focus that interacts with Martin Bormann. Is that the same focus? Not the observing of Reinhold Heydrich, not him.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Hereís one I was kind of investigating that maybe you and I shared. I got an image of a young black child that I thought was you, but I didnít get a feel for me.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Also an elderly couple, a man and a woman Ė Iím not quite sure what activity they were engaged in. It looked like they were cleaning something up together or whatever, and I got the impression that that was you and I.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Am I the female there?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: I thought so. I donít suppose youíd want to give me any info on that, would you? (Both chuckle) No, you donít even have to say it!

ELIAS: England.

DEBI: Oh, thatís helpful! It had that European feel. (Elias chuckles) The clothing I could tell was a certain timeframe, so Iíll play with that myself, if Iím so inclined. (Elias chuckles)

What about Allison Keyes, or Allison, Jeremy and Nicole? Are you Nicole?

ELIAS: No.

DEBI: Am I Allison, and the other two are people that I know?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Are they members of this forum?

ELIAS: Investigate! (Chuckles)

DEBI: Thatís the first time youíve told me that yet! See, I know how to do this now, Elias!

Fran and I would both like to know if we were members of the famous Donner Party.

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Fran wants to know who ate who. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Express to investigate.

DEBI: She feels really cannibalistic, so Iím just gonna leave it right there! Iím not sure where I want to go with it! (Elias laughs)

Ashrah would like to know if thereís another famous writer in her focus line-up that she has not yet identified or confirmed with you.

ELIAS: No.

DEBI: Very good. Is Patricia Lewis a focus of mine?

ELIAS: No.

DEBI: I donít know where that name came from. Now, I also have a lot of stuff churning around inside me about the Impressionist painters, in that time period. Iím very drawn to Degas, and Iím wondering if Degas is a focus of mine.

ELIAS: No. Your draw is expressed in association with another focus that is manifest in that time framework and is quite interested in that movement and all of these painters.

DEBI: So I donít have a focus as any of these painters that Iím really drawn to.

ELIAS: Correct. The influence is associated with a tremendous draw that this other focus of you expresses in appreciation for the creativity of these artists, and is manifest in that time framework and does participate in the experience of engaging the events of shows.

DEBI: That excites me, just hearing you talk about it! Good, thatís it for that part.

I have a lot of experiences with imagery. I see a lot of different things, and I wanted to talk about a lot of them with you. One of them was something that happened yesterday.

Itís usually not things that are floating around in mid-air; itís usually my vision kind of relaxes and I start to see things, usually in relation to a wall. I get a honeycomb pattern, a yellow honeycomb pattern. When I just kind of relax and Iím just kind of zoning out, all of a sudden I just start to see this pattern. I get the same kind of a pattern a lot of times when I read books, but itís a different color; itís red and green. My thought was something to do with a veil. (Elias nods) Thatís what it is?

ELIAS: Continue.

DEBI: Well, my first idea was itís kind of like honeycomb, but it also resembles a netting which kind of resembles a veil, which to me is real. I donít know if Iím seeing it ... Iím SEEING it, okay? Iím seeing it, and it doesnít look very formidable, you know what I mean? Itís not designed to be thick and hard to get through. A couple of times Iíve even gone like that, and I think I put my hand through it! I just do stuff like that.

ELIAS: It is representative of a veil. It is also a translation of imagery in association with another physical dimension.

DEBI: So itís not the big veil between myself and essence in general. Itís a little bit more specific between myself and an other-dimensional focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Is that whatís also going on with all these other things? Well, wait. Let me stop for a minute. Itís the same sort of place I go or feeling that I have when I see a lot of these things.

I was in my bathroom. My bathroom walls are white, and theyíre just perfect. I get really colorful auras off my bath towels. Theyíre always the same color. For instance, the green towel has always had a purple aura. Does everything have its own energy signature in aura? I donít know exactly what the conclusion is Iíve come to, except that it doesnít change. Just like if I look at myself, I have a basic primary color that comes out. Is everything like that?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: No matter what I do to those towels, they just keep coming back with the same colors! (Laughs and Elias chuckles) It almost always looks like a counterpart color, you know what I mean?

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: I can do that with almost any inanimate object. If I just zone into it for a minute, that happens.

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; I may express to you, in association with those manifestations that you distinguish as living, the colors fluctuate.

DEBI: With the living?

ELIAS: Yes. They do not fluctuate with objects, for your choice of manifestation and your configuration of links of consciousness remains stable and, in your terms, the same in your projection of your perception. Whereas in manifestations that you define as living, those manifestations fluctuate and generate different types of energies in different moments, and therefore the colors also alter.

DEBI: That makes sense. I might be driving, and when Iím driving I get most often this kind of a blue shade. I donít know if itís a place I go in attention when Iím driving, but this color comes out a lot. It might be a huge thing in the sky; it might be on the road. Itís just over there, out of the corner of my eye. A lot of times Iíll see something huge, and it almost looks like it is some thing. Itís not just a huge splotch of color. It doesnít seem random, yet itís not so tight that itís a building or itís the letter N. But there seems to be something more specific to it. Is that other-dimensional stuff?

ELIAS: No. That is your allowance in an awareness of my energy in association with you.

DEBI: The big stuff is you? (Laughs) But the blue stuff, is that you, too? Like the driving and the other...? (Elias smiles and nods)

Yesterday when you were talking, I was getting a lot of stuff: a yellow thing up over your head and pink over here and then this blue thing that just kind of went up and it made a big E. Was that all you?

ELIAS: And your energy also.

DEBI: It wasnít any of the other essences particularly involved in this exchange? It was more just between you and me?

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: It almost seemed like I was experiencing that session yesterday in a whole different way than Iím used to. My thought process kind of went on hold, and I was struggling trying to keep up and be the really good little student and fit what you were saying into some nice neat stuff so I could review it later. I was off over here, and I felt like maybe that was a lot of information in what we were doing. But I donít know how I get it or what I do with it; it just is. Is that right?

ELIAS: Assimilating and shifting, and therefore not directing your attention entirely to the thought mechanism.

DEBI: Itís unfamiliar, but it feels kind of good, you know? Like itís okay to not...

ELIAS: Turning your attention to your thought mechanism is quite familiar. Concentrating your attention in association with the thought mechanism in analyzation is also quite familiar.

Allowing yourself to assimilate and input the information which was offered yesterday, you moved your attention from the thought mechanism in association with an underlying knowing that thought is not a communication. Thought is a translating and interpreting mechanism, but it is not a communication itself. Therefore, your communications are expressed in other manners.

DEBI: It feels okay, even though I donít have a lot of history with that, shall we say...

ELIAS: Correct, but this is...

DEBI: ...but itís weirdly not bad.

ELIAS: Correct, for this is a movement of shifting.

DEBI: Itís like I feel like I can trust that whatever is supposed to happen is happening. I donít have to struggle with it.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Because I was struggling for a while there. It felt like I donít know why I canít wrap my brain ... I was coming and going in thought. But it was kind of clear I wasnít going to be able to stay there, and oh well, whatever, Iíll just go over here, and there we were all over the wall doing all these things, and it was really neat!

ELIAS: An exchange of energy and allowing yourself to experience an exchange of energy in a different unfamiliar manner not associated with thought.

DEBI: And we do that all the time, I guess. Thatís what I have been noticing...

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: ...that we do a lot, and I donít have to try to figure it out.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: I already get it. Thatís really, really a relief and comforting and validating and all those things. Thereís too much that I canít do in words.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DEBI: I know you are. (Elias chuckles) Thatís great! I didnít know what all these things were. You kind of do this color thing or we do this thing where the color will kind of like Ė zoom! Ė spin off over here. Is that just for fun, or is that just what we do? (Elias chuckles and nods)

I got one behind Darylís head earlier on the couch. It looks like a little face with eyes and everything, and itís going like this on the wall right behind you, and that was you! (Both laugh) Sheíll like that!

I knew if I just got all of these, because these things happen so much, just kind of buzz through this and get clarification, that thatíll take me a long way in understanding, just because Iím doing this all the time now. Itís picking up.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DEBI: You know that, huh? All right, then. Thank you for that.

ELIAS: You are welcome.

DEBI: Weíll get back to the session yesterday, and the information may be in here. I think youíll understand, if I can explain this right, or even if I canít. Thereís some type of imagery I get sometimes, and itís in that in-between state between awake and asleep. Itís not like a thumbprint or a fingerprint, but a fingerprint is the closest thing in words I know that I can associate it with. Iíve gotten that a couple of times, and itís like I feel your energy at the same time. Iím wondering if you could tell me a little bit about what are we doing in that timeframe when I get that imagery like that.

ELIAS: Exploring your uniqueness and not generating comparison.

DEBI: Which is a big theme here, huh?

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Automatic response.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: I flinch and I go, ďUgh!Ē whenever we do that.

ELIAS: For it is quite familiar to you to be comparing, and therefore you are allowing yourself to subjectively explore the action of not comparing and exploring your uniqueness, which is not comparable...

DEBI: To anyone.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Hence the term ďunique.Ē Itís such a contradiction, isnít it, to want to cherish this thing of uniqueness and all the time trying to be just like everyone else. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Itís like this polarization.

ELIAS: But this is the action of shifting, my friend: moving into the expression of appreciation of your individuality.

DEBI: I so hope thatís the momentum that Iím in and itís where Iím carrying myself. It just seems to me that so much of what I find objectionable is related to that and so much energy spent in struggling with that. Iím frankly tired, just tired!

ELIAS: It is an expression of much energy and may be quite fatiguing, for you are forcing against your own energy.

DEBI: There has come a point now where I know that thatís not necessary, and so itís like, ďThis must stop.Ē

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: I donít have to do this. I didnít even know I was doing this, and now that I do, I have a choice.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: It doesnít always feel like I have a choice, but somewhere inside I know that just by that information there, suddenly thereís a choice that didnít exist.

ELIAS: Many times it may be quite beneficial to focus your attention upon those actions that you incorporate that you may deem to be negative, for in paying attention to those expressions, it offers you the opportunity to view how often you generate that type of expression, which as you view the frequency of those types of actions that you incorporate and become more aware, you generate more of a motivation to offer yourself other choices.

Therefore, I express to you to incorporate an exercise within your next week, each day, and within each of your days note physically each time you engage the action of comparing yourself with any other individual.

DEBI: (Laughs) Thatís going to be all day, isnít it! And thatís the point, too. Iíll do it!

ELIAS: Very well!

DEBI: Iím already doing it a little, enough that I know that itís going to be constant.

ELIAS: In the same manner that you are incorporating notes now, incorporate a notebook and note each time you are generating this action of comparison, for this is purposeful. It not merely offers you the opportunity to view the frequency of this action that you incorporate and offers you a new motivation to offer yourself new choices, but it also offers you the opportunity to examine what influences that action.

DEBI: Whatís happening in each moment that thatís occurring.

ELIAS: Correct. What are you generating as a trigger that generates that response within yourself? And as you progress throughout your week in noting each time you are incorporating this action of comparison, begin allowing yourself to examine what you are generating as a trigger. Do not concern yourself with this action initially. Initially, merely note each time you are incorporating the action. That allows you the opportunity to become familiar with recognizing and noticing.

Once you have become familiar, subsequent to perhaps two days with noticing and recognizing the action, then you may begin to pay attention not merely to the action of comparing, but also allowing yourself to move farther and identify your trigger. The trigger may not always be the same; there may be different triggers. But the outcome is the same.

DEBI: I end up in the comparing.

ELIAS: Correct. This offers you the opportunity to discover within yourself and familiarize yourself with what types of interactions, what types of events, what types of actions and choices that you incorporate trigger your automatic response of comparison.

DEBI: This is my primary automatic...

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: ...response, the comparing.

ELIAS: Yes, which you have been generating throughout your focus.

DEBI: It feels like forever.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: The furthest memory I can remember, it was the same feeling, the same action. What is interesting was when you first said to note when I compare and what triggers it. You subsequently said what do I generate as a trigger, and something just switched around. Wait a minute! Iím always looking at it as something outside of myself until you said what do I generate as a trigger, and then it puts a whole new spin on it. I donít even know what all, where all itís going, but I will.

ELIAS: I am understanding that your automatic direction is to associate that some other individual or circumstance or situation is triggering you. No. You generate the scenarios, you draw individuals to yourself, you create situations, and thusly you generate a trigger.

DEBI: (Sighs) I feel so much tension leaving me that I had earlier. This always happens when I talk to you. I donít know why I get apprehensive when Iím going to speak with you, but I do. (Elias chuckles)

Could we talk briefly about some of the other essences involved in this exchange? I always go like that, like theyíre floating around out there, donít I? (Laughs, and Elias chuckles) Well, Iíve been attempting to identify my interpretation. I have three of them Ė Tomkin, Patel and Rose Ė that I would just like to clarify with you. It seems like Iíve been trying to just allow the thing with Tomkin for so long that I donít know if I even know how to allow it or if I still push it. Am I experiencing Tomkinís energy as little twitches? Little muscle twitches is the closest I can come to describing it. (Pause)

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Good! (Laughs) There may be a lot more going on, but I just need one so that I can kind of start to notice more about that energy.

Is Patel that slightly sexual feeling but also kind of a ... not pokey but sort of a prickly feeling? (Pause)

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Yes.

DEBI: Both of those feelings are...

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: ...the same energy. Heís very playful, huh?

ELIAS: Quite a jokester! (Both chuckle)

DEBI: Is Rose that kind of heat sensation I get in my leg sometimes? (Pause)

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Wonderful. I forgot to ask Ė as far as Patel goes, Ashrahís experienced a similar energy, and she would like to know if thatís Patel, because thatís her same interpretation.

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Great! Wonderful! We are currently exploring the Ilda family, correct? Ashrah and myself?

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Itís coming out of everywhere.

I had a little interaction with a hummingbird that was just incredibly sweet about a week ago, and I wondered if that was an interaction with Rose specifically.

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: That was just adorable, very enjoyable. Can you help me understand what that energy-bursting thing is that I do sometimes, where it just feels like I do a solar flare for a second? (Pause)

ELIAS: A release of energy. At times you hold to your energy and you generate this building of energy within yourself, which generates a type of tension but not an objectively familiar type of tension, not necessarily held within your physical body, but within your energy field.

DEBI: Thatís what it feels like when itís bursting; itís not physical.

ELIAS: This is a release of energy. For prior to that action you are containing energy within your energy field, and therefore you create this eruption, so to speak.

DEBI: (Laughing) I just wondered, when you were saying that, I pictured if someoneís standing next to me and I do that Ė foom! Ė itís just like bouncing right off of them, like knocking them over, sort of!

ELIAS: Dependent upon the individual and their openness and their awareness of energy, they may very well experience the push. (Chuckles)

DEBI: Iím sure Iím not the only one!

I have a little bit of time left. I have a couple of other things. I have a question for Carter/Cynthia. First of all, Iím not sure if itís been established formally or if this is part of the question. Is there an Adventurers book?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: He has some impressions of different focuses of Cynthia that he wants to know, first of all, if these are focuses of Cynthia, and if they are part of the book of adventurers. He wants to know if Francisco Pizarro Ė he was a Spanish conquistador Ė is that a focus of Cynthia?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Hernando de Soto?

ELIAS: Observing essence.

DEBI: Also, he wanted to know if de Soto is Ilda/Sumafi.

ELIAS: Not Sumafi.

DEBI: But Ilda?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: How about Marco Polo?

ELIAS: No.

DEBI: Is Pizarro Ilda/Sumari?

ELIAS: Reverse.

DEBI: The ones weíve identified, those are chapter focuses in the book of adventurers?

ELIAS: Correct. Let me express, this initial focus (pause) is fragmented.

DEBI: Pizarro?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Iím not sure if I understand. Fragmented...?

ELIAS: Now. Originally, yes, a focus of Cynthia.

DEBI: But has now fragmented.

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Do I have a dream trigger that involves color? When something specifically catches my attention in dream state as color, is that a trigger?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: I had this dream the other night where I was dying my hair black and then I was putting on this make-up and it was changing the color of my face. I suddenly was this gorgeous brunette that looked completely different than the way I look now, although it was still me. I wondered if that was a focus or some type of trans-focal dream-thing going on.

ELIAS: Yes, Japanese.

DEBI: Oh! Quite lovely. To be honest, I was disappointed when I woke up.

ELIAS: (Laughs loudly) Mark this! Begin now!

DEBI: There it is! (Laughs) Oh, Elias, I sneak up on myself, donít I? (Elias chuckles)

Thatís really interesting, though. I look at those types of things that I do as being objective, and it doesnít necessarily have to be during normal waking hours. It permeates everything. I think I was doing this a lot last night, too. I wake up some nights and I feel like I just beat myself up from every angle I could possibly beat myself up from! (Elias chuckles)

I had this dream the other night that I was getting married to this wonderful, gorgeous, eligible, really better-than-me-in-status kind of guy...

ELIAS: Mark this! (Chuckles)

DEBI: Dream number two! But somewhere along the line in the dream, he turned out to be a real creep. He was doing some really bizarre behavior and suddenly he was not anything like I thought. I rose to the top, and now Iím the good one and he isnít.

ELIAS: Mark this!

DEBI: (Laughs) It was like it all switched around in the dream! Okay, dream two, part two! All righty, hereís my list! (Elias laughs) Was that a focus dream or was that just me playing out my comparing thing?

ELIAS: Latter.

DEBI: It had a different quality to it, for sure. (Elias chuckles) Later on, at the tail end of that dream or somewhere not too far after that, I was dreaming that I looked in the bathroom... You know how Daryl has her thing with toilets, and I recognize her through toilets in dreams. (Laughs) Well, all of a sudden I realize my little bird was not on my shoulder anymore and it was in the toilet, which I thought was really bizarre and I didnít know how long sheíd been in there. I grabbed her out, and I think I was still asleep when I realized, ďWhat the hellís going on here? Whatís with the bird in the toilet? It must be Daryl.Ē When I woke up, I thought that had to be Daryl involved in there somewhere. Was the bird falling in the toilet just to get my attention that thereís a toilet and Darylís somehow involved here?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: It was!

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: (Laughs) I didnít know what we were doing, but I knew she was there, though! Isnít that funny. Imagery, imagery, imagery!

I guess weíve kind of talked about my primary automatic creation and also in our discussion about how I was interacting with you during the session and all that, and I think that answered basically what I was doing this morning. It was all about that. I woke up feeling sick and terrible and horrible and all this stuff and apprehensive and pretty vulnerable, really vulnerable, totally exposed and not an ounce of control in me.

ELIAS: You are shifting. It is quite purposeful.

DEBI: It feels okay, but different.

ELIAS: Correct.

DEBI: Itís very unfamiliar to not go, ďOh, itís different! Oh!Ē

ELIAS: This is your evidence of shifting, that the unfamiliar is no longer fearful.

DEBI: Thatís a huge leap.

ELIAS: And the familiar now incorporates a disdain rather than the comfort.

DEBI: It does! It does, which makes it easier to detach from, probably.

ELIAS: And the desire has shifted to the unfamiliar.

DEBI: Thatís what Iíve been wanting to happen.

ELIAS: I am aware.

DEBI: I just didnít know it was going to be like that. So this is how you do it without trauma.

ELIAS: Correct. (Chuckles) Offer yourself an appreciation. You have accomplished.

DEBI: (Emotionally) Iím speechless! Thank you.

ELIAS: You are welcome.

DEBI: In having done it the other way for so long, itís so poignant to understand trauma and to understand lack of trauma...

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DEBI: ...and itís so doable...

ELIAS: Quite.

DEBI: ...even in spite of yourself. You know what I mean? Have I been shrieking less?

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: Well, I reserve the right to still do that sometimes. (Laughs)

ELIAS: It may be your preference, which is acceptable, but know that you are choosing that.

DEBI: Right. I donít feel a victim to it anymore. Ashrah and I have discussed that my waves have changed. I still of course have the intensity and will and whatever Ė thatís just part of the thing. But I donít feel like a ping-pong ball riding a tidal wave, like I did.

ELIAS: I am aware.

DEBI: Itís so different now. I could not understand what you meant when you told me you could have intensity without the emotional intensity. To me, the two were the same. It was like, well I donít understand what that means. But now I do. I know you know how I feel right now, but I just canít even begin to thank you for all your help...

ELIAS: You are very welcome.

DEBI: ...in being there to help me through all this stuff. I just am so totally appreciating us.

ELIAS: And I continue to be expressing this.

DEBI: Wow. I donít think I have anything else. Thatís all there is, my friend.

ELIAS: Very well. Continue with your exercise.

DEBI: I shall, at least a week. I think Iíll be in for lots of surprises.

ELIAS: No, a considerable amount of information, which may be quite beneficial. And do not compound the action in discounting yourself during the exercise; merely incorporate the exercise of noticing and paying attention.

DEBI: It was fun when you discovered it for me. I can carry that attitude into it, huh?

ELIAS: Yes!

DEBI: Like, ďOh, thereís another one!Ē

ELIAS: Yes!

DEBI: (Laughs) ďWoo, there went another one!Ē (Elias chuckles) I will endeavor!

ELIAS: Very well, my friend, and I shall continue to offer you energy in encouragement and support, as always. You may anticipate more of your colors.

DEBI: Wonderful!

ELIAS: To you in genuine affection as always, my friend, au revoir.

DEBI: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 12:53 PM.


< Previous session | Go to the top | Next session >


© 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.