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Monday, September 22, 2003

<  Session 1440 (Private/Phone)  >

ďThe Unacceptable SessionĒ (1)

ďDuplicity GameĒ


Participants: Mary (Michael) and Wendy (Luelyth).

Elias arrives at 7:43 AM. (Arrival time is 17 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

WENDY: Good morning, Elias! It is a fairly good morning. I was having some bad mornings. (Laughs) Well, thatís from the standpoint of duplicity. Iím sure they were just experiences from another point of view.

Hereís why I called. The last few times weíve spoken, you mentioned how harshly judgmental I am to myself and that I tend to be a bit rigid. I was creating problems with one of my creatures, my cat, who had a sore on his back.

Iím getting ready to move, and as I brought boxes into the house to start packing them, one of my other cats, a cat named... Well, weíll call him Blackie, just to keep him anonymous. Little Blackie started peeing all over the house. Heíd never done this before. I thought to myself what is this about? Oh, itís about me feeling like Iím not in control with this move. Itís my belief that I donít have enough information; Iím moving somewhere I donít know.

So, I have this little cat manifesting my feeling out of control, and then I thought to myself is that going to change this situation? I remembered what you said last time: ďYou have offered yourself information, but you have not changed your perception.Ē And I donít think I have changed my perception. I do feel a little bit tense about this. But the funny thing was, compared to how tense I usually get, I wasnít noticing that I was being particularly tense. However, as soon as the cat started peeing all over the house, I got very tense.

It went from bad to worse. I mean, it just escalated over a period of a couple weeks till one of the other cats just peed on the bed in the middle of night. Itís something that I can look back on twenty years from now and laugh about, but right now I was just tearing my hair out. And the little cat with the sore on his back, his sore was getting worse, it looked like.

I had these things going on, and I know what you say, keep your attention on yourself. Well, when I try to put my attention on myself, all I could think about was I wasnít doing a very pleasant job of manifesting. My life was terrible. I was never going to be able to have a good life because I canít change my perception and I can just give myself information.

So, Iím here to ask you to give me some helpful hints in that direction. I mean, Iím really good at giving myself information, but changing my perception... By the way, what I did was lock the cats up. I started doing some things, I made some choices to take some action, and I isolated the cats from the house. I locked them out in their yard and I locked the one that was peeing in a cage. But as soon as I did that, when I looked at this little cat locked in a cage, he was very upset about being locked in the cage. I hope Iím not people-izing my animals too much, but he was frantic. I looked at him locked in the cage and I felt very sad.

And I thought, well, what is this about? This is about feeling like all I can count on me to do is wreck things. If I donít keep an eye on myself all the time, Iím going to be aligning with beliefs in ways that are going to cause me trouble. Once again, I thought is this going to solve the problem, or have you just once again offered yourself information and not changed your perception?

Things did escalate after that. They escalated for about 24 hours. I was crying; I was just desperate. After that 24-hour period, things settled down and the little cat with the sore on his back, the sore looked like it started to heal a little. Itís a pretty big sore so it looks like it would take a while, but it looks like itís starting to heal up. The other cats have calmed down and the peeing has stopped.

But here Iím left with my view of myself that I canít trust myself and that thereís something wrong with me that Iíll never be able to fix. So, would you lecture to me?

ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well. I am understanding the challenge and the difficulty that many individuals, yourself also, express in attempting to understand and translate their own messages that they are presenting to themselves.

Now; in this, you automatically attempt to evaluate what you are presenting to yourself with these experiences, but what becomes the snare is that you move in the direction of generalities, which does not offer you much information.

You present yourself with these experiences and your assessment is that you are experiencing this feeling of being out of control or a lack of control of your situation, of behaviors, of choices. But that, in actuality, does not genuinely offer you much information to affect your perception, for it is a general expression and it may be expressed in many, many different manners. You are not specifically identifying what you are actually participating in and what you are creating. Yes, that may be a general theme of a lack of control. But now what are more of the specifics that are involved in this experience?

The imagery that you present to yourself is specific. It is merely a matter of genuinely paying attention and understanding the symbology or the imagery itself, remembering that objective imagery is abstract. Therefore, you may present many different types of imageries to yourself that all are related to the same subject.

WENDY: Could I just stop and ask? Because this confuses me Ė I thought that you said abstract and it could show up in a lot of different ways, so it didnít really make sense for me to say specifically what Iím concerned about, that Iím about to go try and rent a house with four cats and that always distresses people. I had a list of things that I was specifically feeling out of control about, but I thought that I should put it to something more general, like I donít feel that I really control my life, I donít feel that I actually choose things, and I feel like I make bad things happen to myself because I donít know what Iím doing.

ELIAS: That is a generality, and what actual information does that offer to you to affect your perception?

WENDY: None!

ELIAS: Correct. This is the reason that it is important to be paying attention to the imagery that you are presenting to yourself and to be familiar with your own associations. In actuality, the evaluation of what you present to yourself is much more simple than what you think of, for you present to yourself generalities and subsequently you complicate, rather than actually paying attention to the specific imagery that you are offering to yourself, which is presenting information to you to move you in a direction to be looking beyond the generality into more specifics.

Now...

WENDY: Can we use what Iíve done as an actual example and dissect it in a way that would work?

ELIAS: Yes. In this, you present to yourself an action, first of all in imagery concerning your preparation to move. You obtained these boxes and you have introduced these boxes in your home as the preparation for the move. Immediately there is a response. You already know that the creatures reflect you.

Now; what is the creature doing?

WENDY: In this case, he was acting nervous, and as a result of acting nervous, he did this thing that is considered to be a territorial marking. He said, ďThese are alien; I pee upon them!Ē I think that is what he was doing.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

Now; that is a traditional explanation for the action, and it is not paying attention to your energy in relation to the creature and what the creature is doing that is reflective of you.

Now; what is the creature doing? It is eliminating. And what are you doing? You have generated an association with this location physically and are eliminating that, but in the process of eliminating that, you also are presenting more than merely elimination to yourself.

You are also presenting to yourself an experience to emphasize the beliefs that you express in association with behaviors, what are acceptable behaviors and what are not acceptable behaviors, and how that incorporates influences in many different directions. For that also influences your perception of other individuals, your concern of other individualís perceptions, and that is another element of the lack of control. But merely identifying the lack of control does not offer you the information concerning your beliefs that you are presenting to yourself. The beliefs that you are presenting to yourself are of acceptable and non-acceptable behaviors, and eliminating.

Once you begin to recognize more specifically what you are presenting to yourself, you begin to evaluate what you are actually doing, what you are actually experiencing, what you are feeling, and that is what allows you to change your perception.

Now you may view what it is to not change your perception and recognize what influences that. You are expressing judgments concerning the creatureís behavior, and your response to the creatureís behavior is to eliminate their space. And what does that suggest to you in association with your energy? For they are reflecting your energy. That is your communication in imagery to yourself of the expectations that you incorporate concerning behaviors, your own behaviors and other individualís behaviors, and if they are unacceptable, they must be eliminated. And how do you eliminate if the behaviors are associated with yourself? You box yourself; you isolate yourself.

WENDY: I do.

ELIAS: This is significant information that you have presented to yourself, and I am recognizing, as I have stated, that there is a challenge, for it is quite unfamiliar to be translating and interpreting the imagery that you are presenting to yourself, but it is less difficult if you are not complicating and if you are allowing yourself to genuinely pay attention to your own symbolizations, your own associations.

Your indication to yourself of the information that you are offering to yourself was your response. You expressed an identification that yes, you may have been aware that you were expressing a slight recognition of a lack of control, but you were not expressing tension and overwhelming yourself. But that was not the point.

The point is your motivation for incorporating this move, which is to allow yourself more of your natural flow and more of your expression of your freedom in a physical location that you feel resonates with your energy expression. But the element of eliminating is strong and that is significant, for it is not a question of isolating or eliminating any expression or imagery or physical manifestation. This is imagery that is associated with attempting to eliminate beliefs, and that is not the point and that is not what is occurring Ė but rather, generating an acceptance without these expectations and limitations, and allowing yourself to move freely.

Now; some of the identifications that you incorporated in association with these experiences are correct, but they are also surface. You do incorporate a concern as to the perception of other individuals with regard to you in association with your creatures. But that itself is not what the communication is. That is what may be termed to be a symptom of what is actually being generated within you concerning what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.

WENDY: So, as an English major, Iím accustomed to working with symbols, and I guess I think of myself as being pretty good at it compared to a lot of people Ė I know Iím not supposed to compare myself. But compared to a lot of people, itís an area that Iím accustomed to, and yet here I was, I came up with all these clues, but what I went over to was the lack of control thing. Youíre saying itís the acceptable/unacceptable; eliminate the unacceptable, thatís the bottom line here.

ELIAS: Correct.

WENDY: I notice that when Iím packing, itís like my whole life passes before my eyes of all the choices Iíve made, whether they were acceptable or not acceptable, so I am seeing that.

ELIAS: Yes.

WENDY: My general judgment is they werenít acceptable! (Laughs)

ELIAS: But the point is, my friend, as I have discussed many times previously, not to be moving in the direction of elimination, for in this, as I have expressed previously, remember, duplicity is a belief system also. It is not being eliminated, either.

The difference is that you may generate assessments of all of these different beliefs and their influences and what you create and what you do within your focus, and you may incorporate your own opinion and your own preferences, and you may continue to align with certain expressions, certain behaviors in association with yourself that you generate guidelines with; but you also begin to recognize that these are YOUR preferences. That is not to say that they may be the preferences of other individuals.

You may express to yourself that this behavior within your creatures is unacceptable to you, and you express no conflict with that and you are comfortable with that and it is a preference. It may not be a concern of another individual at all. The point is not actually other individuals, either. The point is presenting to yourself these absolutes and recognizing that they are not absolute. That allows you to be more flexible with your perception and it allows you to reconfigure your energy.

Now; which you did, for you exhausted yourself, and in exhausting yourself, in your terms you gave up. That action is, in actuality, reconfiguring energy, for you ceased to struggle and fight with what was being created, and it stopped.

WENDY: Well, what a way to do it! I donít like that! (Elias chuckles) Yet we all do that. Thatís what weíre doing. Thatís how we all do it. But god, I wish we could do it some other way!

ELIAS: You may, but these types of experiences do gain your attention.

WENDY: Well, you say that, they gain our attention, but it seems that when my attention is gained, if I werenít talking to you I wouldnít know what Iíd learned here, would I? All I would think is that I went through some turmoil and trauma and discomfort, and Iíd better keep my eye open because it might happen again.

ELIAS: But you ARE speaking to me.

WENDY: I am speaking to you, this is true, but... (Laughs)

ELIAS: Therefore, it is a moot point, for your choice is to be engaging conversation with me, which is merely another manner in which you present information to yourself. Therefore, you are continuing and you are presenting information to yourself and you are generating an avenue in which you allow yourself to understand objectively what you are doing.

WENDY: Could you give me some information that will allow me to more objectively understand the cat with the unhealing wound? Last time I talked with you, you told me it was connected with my exposure issues, because when I covered him up, we both felt better. However, his wound then continued to get worse.

However, in the middle of all this upheaval, interestingly enough, I had a dream in the middle of my exacerbation and escalation of all this. A couple days ago I had a dream where I was going to show the wound on the cat to a veterinarian, who actually was like a kindly little old lady, not a veterinarian. When I went to find the cat to show her the wound, I had the other cat, the cat Blackie, the one who was peeing, who is not the cat with the wound. In the dream, that cat had the wound on it. There was no shirt on that cat, he was without a shirt, and the wound was smaller and was healing. I understood that to mean these two issues are connected, this whole unacceptable, elimination, tension, out of control, that they were connected and that they were getting better. Thatís what I got out of that.

ELIAS: You are correct. This creature is reflecting your movement and your addressing to this issue of exposure. Although you have also presented yourself with imagery concerning that, for you present to yourself the imagery of the wound and the covering of the wound, which is quite similar to your protectiveness and your camouflaging of yourself in not exposing yourself. But in that, once identifying it, what did you do? Temporarily, you became more protective. And what did the creature display?

WENDY: Well, he acted happier, but the wound got worse.

ELIAS: Correct. And in this, as you began to assimilate that information genuinely, what has occurred?

WENDY: Well, weíre still pretty happy, and the wound seems to be getting better.

ELIAS: Correct!

WENDY: But I donít feel like I assimilated anything. I just got sick of it. I told him the other day, I said, ďI am sick of this. I donít want to do this anymore.Ē Thatís all I said to him. I was mad. Iíve been taking good care of him and Iím tired of it. I have to do all this work to take care of him and I just said Iím tired of this.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) But what did you do in that action? Exposed yourself.

WENDY: I did. But to whom? Just to me.

ELIAS: Yes. That was an exposure to yourself, and that is significant. Rather than continuing in the camouflage of the expectations that if you are a good individual and caring and loving and compassionate, you shall be generating this continuous caretaking of this creature and it shall continue to be dependent upon you for that type of care and nurturing, but in actuality, you allowed yourself to move into an expression of exposure of yourself to yourself: this is not fun; I do not prefer this; I do not enjoy this action and it fatigues me. And you are not a bad individual for expressing that.

WENDY: I hope Iím not generalizing too much when I say this is a whole aspect of myself that I think is unacceptable to other people, that I donít like nurturing other people, I donít like cosseting them and being sweet to them. I mean, when I help people, so to speak, when I give advice to people, I do it in a way that kind of pokes them, and Iím not considered to be sympathetic or sweet. And I often think that I should be, and I donít like to be. I donít think itís fun. I donít think itís fun or interesting, so is that what Iím looking at here is just exposing the fact that I could just be myself and itís just fine? I can be crusty and crabby and critical. I like being critical!

ELIAS: I may express to you, this is the point Ė allowing yourself to express you freely, and not camouflaging in association with what you expect of yourself in the behavior that is acceptable.

WENDY: So, if I freely express myself and I think itís acceptable to me to do that, then I wonít be drawing to myself people who behave as though itís unacceptable Ė who react to me as though itís unacceptable?

ELIAS: Correct.

WENDY: But in the meantime, Iíll probably do a little just to like test myself.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well!

WENDY: Well, it seems to be that way Ė it seems to happen that way. So, is that it? Did I get it? Am I cured?

ELIAS: (Laughs) You are not in need of a cure, for you are not generating a dis-ease.

WENDY: Well, I felt a little dis-ease! I felt quite a bit of dis-ease.

ELIAS: You are moving in a process, my friend.

WENDY: You always talk to us like we can just change things. We could change them immediately if we would just get it. (Elias laughs) Thatís why I feel frustrated! I feel like if I could just get this, I wouldnít have to keep thrashing around like a fish on a hook!

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Let me express to you, you express a frustration very similar to many other individuals, and I may express to you that this is quite common and eventually, in your terms, you do get it.

WENDY: (Laughs) Is it before I die?

ELIAS: Yes! (Laughing)

WENDY: Just before I die, I go, ďOh wait, I see! I remember!Ē

ELIAS: Perhaps much sooner than that!

WENDY: Oh, I hope so.

ELIAS: You present yourselves with moments somewhat frequently in which you do get it. Perhaps not all of the concepts or all of the directions simultaneously, but in increments, you do.

WENDY: I have times when I just feel so expansively exhilarated and clear about all this. When I read Seth back in 1976, when I first read ďThe Nature of Personal Reality,Ē it was like a door had opened. It seemed so clear and it seemed so doable, and yet on a daily basis, on a point-by-point basis, it just seems like I muddy it all up.

ELIAS: Perhaps if you offer yourself an ďahaĒ moment and do not discount that and allow yourself to be more gentle with yourself, you may be generating many more of those ďahaĒ moments.

WENDY: This whole thing about being harshly judgmental, Iíve been doing it all my life. Iíve made a career out of it. I can stop it periodically and kind of get off that, but it seems like thatís just where I go, pushing myself.

ELIAS: Then reward yourself each time you engage that action.

WENDY: How do you mean? Get a little something nice to eat, go sit in the sunshine?

ELIAS: Offer yourself a point. Each time you generate that action, offer yourself a point. Generate a game and reward yourself.

WENDY: Are we talking about rewarding myself for being harsh?

ELIAS: Yes! Yes.

WENDY: So in the duplicity game, I could turn that into thatís what Iím trying to achieve is ultimate harsh judgment of myself. I could make it really hard for myself to even do it. (Elias laughs) Yeah, Iíd get tired of that real fast. Yes, thatís very clever. You know what thatís called in psychological terms, they call that paradoxical therapy. Instead of trying to struggle against something, you go in the direction of it.

ELIAS: Yes, and reward yourself for it. For in this, you also affect your perception, for you begin to recognize the humor in what you are doing.

WENDY: Hereís another one, hereís another one of my favorite ones. Harsh judgment of myself, but the other one is a deep-seated conviction that thereís something wrong with me that affects all my interactions with every person eventually. In other words, even if I think things are going well, thereís something wrong with me thatís going to screw things up.

ELIAS: (Humorously) Ah, even better! This shall be genuinely fun. Now you may TRULY be harsh with yourself and you may be evaluating all of the nasty, bad qualities that you incorporate and all of the nasty behaviors that you express, and you may generate yourself to be the most evil individual upon the planet!

WENDY: (Laughing) Iím not even that good! Iím not good enough to be the worst. Iím not even powerful enough to be powerfully bad; Iím just kind of weakly bad.

ELIAS: Ah, weakly bad is good, too. (Laughs) Weakness is another bad, bad expression.

WENDY: Oh, yes, I really do feel bad about being so weak!

ELIAS: Ah, I express to you that you may play this game and generate extreme weaknesses and offer yourself chocolates for every weakness that you view.

WENDY: Next time you talk to me Iíll be a little heavier than I am today, and that will be bad, too.

ELIAS: (Laughs) And you may also enhance that, and perhaps be bad and a lush, also!

WENDY: What was that again?

ELIAS: You may incorporate being a lush, also, and you may incorporate rewarding yourself with a glass of wine.

WENDY: A glass of wine? Oh good, Iíll be a plump alcoholic. (Elias laughs)

So, as far as this move goes because itís coming right up, do you have any advice, guidance, helpful hints for making the most of my actual relocation? I mean, besides keeping my attention on myself and all that stuff. Iím going to a distant corner of the United States, and Iím just so excited about it, in a way, and I know nothing about the area. Iím so excited because itís beautiful natural surroundings and itís not very populated. Do you have anything to say to me about why I feel so drawn to the area when I donít know anything about it objectively?

ELIAS: It matters not whether you incorporate knowledge of a physical location or not. You draw yourself to locations in relation to energy, and my suggestion to you is to appreciate your excitement in this move.

WENDY: Iíve been doing that when I havenít been cleaning up cat pee. That dampened my excitement a little, Elias! I wasnít quite as excited. (Elias laughs)

Iím going to be near water for the first time ever. Iím going to be near a lot of water, and you said something about how water is so significant to us. What about that? Why is it so significant to us?

ELIAS: It is dependent upon the individual, but water, generally speaking, signifies an association with lightness, with relaxation, rhythms and life.

WENDY: Yeah, life. This area just seems lush. It seems full of life; I guess thatís it. Iíve lived on the desert most of my life, which also seemed full of life to me because I saw the life on the desert. But thereís something about this... In fact, I was struck the other day, as I looked at an overgrown hillside up on a mountain that was so grown over that you couldnít see the ground, I was struck by how much safer I feel on the desert, where you can see the ground, and that my association with not being able to see that ground is that thereís going to be something down there that Iíd better watch out for, so I guess I...

ELIAS: Another point!

WENDY: ...something Iíd better watch out for, and that something is me!

ELIAS: Ah! Another point!

WENDY: Thereís an entity or collection of entities or something, Abraham, he allows himself to be identified as Abraham, and the information they present parallels in many ways the information that you present except that they present it in what I would call a more popular way, an easy to digest way, a simpler way, a very simple way. One of the things that you were talking about in the whole business of accepting beliefs was that the way to do it really was just to accept ourselves and that the rest would all follow, but that we like to complicate things. So we have this whole process of step one, step two, step three, step four...

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Yes, you are quite fond of methods!

WENDY: The way Abraham presents things is so simple, and Iím not saying itís not distorted as a result of the simplicity, Iím just saying the simplicity seems to enable me to relax, maybe just to relax. Abraham says whenever youíre not feeling good, take that as an indication that you need to turn your thoughts Ė he calls them thoughts so that people donít get all mired in the concept of their beliefs attacking them Ė he says you need to turn your thoughts to a thought that feels better. Even if it just feels a little bit better, just slowly pick a different way of looking at the situation, little by little turn your view of the situation, your perception Ė he doesnít say that, but you know Ė turn your thoughts until they feel better. And it does relax me to do that.

Now, if that were all I were to do, if I werenít to be like clawing around trying to wrestle my beliefs to the ground and dissect them and understand every little way they affect me and all my associations with them, if all I did was relax and felt better, would that be enough?

ELIAS: Yes.

WENDY: Well, good! Okay then!

ELIAS: I have expressed quite similarly many, many times. Distraction is a very useful action.

WENDY: I was doing this for a while and it really helped. Then I just plunged back over into... I donít know what happened to me. Anyway, all Iíd been doing was trying to keep myself feeling good all the time. If Iíd start to feel bad, I either had to think about something else entirely, like just get my mind off the subject, or I had to come up with some way of looking at what was going on so I didnít feel bad about it. And I relaxed.

ELIAS: Quite. I am understanding.

WENDY: Then I read Elias, which is all this brilliant stuff. Itís like science to me; itís so exciting and I love analysis. But where is the balance between those two things? There must be a balance, isnít there?

ELIAS: Yes, and I may express to you, in actuality, as I have previously many times with many individuals, all of these concepts are actually quite simple. But as you have identified yourself, you enjoy analyzation and you enjoy complicating and you pay attention to complications, for if a concept is presented too simply, it becomes suspicious. You view it as non-doable, for it is too simple. Therefore, it shall not accomplish what you want.

WENDY: Because our problems are so complicated that how could a simple thing fix them.

ELIAS: Or so you perceive your problems, so to speak, to be so complicated. In actuality, they are not complicated, either. But you complicate them.

WENDY: Itís almost as though the way we justify making so much trouble for ourselves is to insist that our problems are complex and complicated and cannot be fixed by something simple, otherwise we wouldnít have created this huge mess.

ELIAS: Correct.

WENDY: Itís just justification.

ELIAS: Partially. Partially it is also a fascination with complication and analyzation.

WENDY: Iíd love to give that up for the second half of my life! You told me that in my particular case that was one of the ways I offered jewels to myself. I just need to stop doing it in the way where Iím offering cat pee to myself.

ELIAS: (Laughs) The most simplistic expression that I have offered to you all is that of acceptance. That is the main point. And view how you all complicate the action of acceptance.

WENDY: But you do see how challenging it is for us to be accepting. Weíve created this world where we look outside ourselves and look at what weíve projected and think that weíre unacceptable.

ELIAS: Yes, I am quite aware and I am quite understanding. This is the reason that I converse with you.

WENDY: Iíve been looking at this stuff for over 25 years, and I keep trying to get a picture of... You know, you say, everybody says, we are essence, weíre it, and weíre walking around here not able to remember that itís like a big game. I keep trying to find a place where I can feel it as a game instead of feeling like Iím just not getting it. I keep walking into walls when I think that Iím going to take a step in a clear direction. Blam! Ė Iíve walked into another wall. I keep trying to figure out how can I see this as the way my whole self would see it if I hadnít forgotten. And it just seems so hard.

ELIAS: Begin by generating your new games.

WENDY: My new games! My rewards, my point system.

ELIAS: Yes.

WENDY: I really like that, because I do enjoy... I struggle with things a lot but I donít want to struggle with things. I enjoy making an amusing thing out of something thatís considered to be bad or wrong. Iíve always liked that. It appeals to me.

Itís like this whole thing where people are afraid to eat anything now because they think everything is bad for them. My way of dealing with that is eat as much of it as you want, wallow in anything you think is bad for you, and youíll get sick of it. (Elias laughs) Youíll just get sick of it. I mean, if you actually let yourself have the experience of it and donít put any brakes on it at all, donít feel any guilt about it, donít worry about it and just let yourself enjoy it, usually you just get sick of it.

So, I think this is the perfect game. Iíll be playing this game as I drive north with four cats in my car.

ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs) And perhaps you shall offer yourself many points!

WENDY: Iíll have to keep a little notebook so I can write them all down and add them all up at the end of the day.

Well, unless you have anything else wise you want to... Oh, I know something I want to ask you. This is totally frivolous. When I first talked to you, I said I thought my essence name was Lucan, and you said Lucan is a powerful sorcerer. All I can think of is Scotland in the 1300s.

ELIAS: Yes.

WENDY: How many, since everyone does this and I have a couple minutes left, how many total focuses here? My guess is 1183.

ELIAS: Reverse last two numbers.

WENDY: How many are currently on the planet in this timeframe? I would guess 11, but that seems like so many.

ELIAS: Five.

WENDY: Why do I think thereís more than five? I donít know, I just feel them everywhere, I guess. Are there any focuses that would be useful to tune into, to work more with the whole issue of acceptance and trusting myself? Besides you, of course.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) In this time framework, my suggestion is that you seriously incorporate your playfulness with your games.

WENDY: Okay. I never have been that interested... I mean, all the focuses that Iíve gotten in touch with throughout the years, most of them seem about as anguished and screwed up as I am, but thatís probably because those are the ones that are most similar in tone to my current afflictions. (Elias laughs)

Good, Iíll just be playful. Weíll forget the damned focuses! I donít care about them, anyway. Let them live their lives and Iíll live mine, as we say.

ELIAS: Very well.

WENDY: Okay, Elias. Thank you so very much for helping me sort all this out.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend.

WENDY: As I drink my wine to reward myself for how bad and weak and flawed I am, I will toast you.

ELIAS: And I shall receive it.

WENDY: Thank you, again. I shall talk to you again.

ELIAS: I shall be anticipating that. In great affection to you, as always, my friend, au revoir.

Elias departs at 8:44 AM.


Endnotes:

(1) Wendyís note: I call this session ďThe Unacceptable Session,Ē because thatís how I felt during it and when I transcribed it.

Want to know what happened next? Did I succeed in applying this information? Is my life a Shifted bowl of cherries or am I still wallowing in the mire of my duplicitous automatic responses? Find out more by reading the Shift Dairies, a blog devoted to my adventures in expanding my awareness.

Digests: find out more about accepting self.


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