Sunday, September 19, 2004
ďFear of ExposureĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Brian (Enzo).
(Eliasí arrival time is 16 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
BRIAN: Good morning! How are you? Enzo here; how are we doing today, Elias?
ELIAS: (Laughs) As always, and yourself?
BRIAN: Actually, Iíve come along in one weekís time since we last talked. A lot of things have been presenting themselves to me. I forgot to ask you last time, is this my final focus?
BRIAN: I kind of thought so, for some strange reason. Now getting back to what we were talking about before. I wanted to ask you, I know Iím moving and Iím coming along, but I seem to be going into uncharted waters. Could you explain where my direction and movement are taking me now?
ELIAS: In what capacity?
BRIAN: I know we looked at the whole belief system of relationships, and I actually have a whole new take on what Iíd like now to present to myself. We talked last time about an intermediate, since I am one, would be more beneficial to me. But also, itís even more than that. Itís almost like... God, how do I even say this? With all these presentments to myself, I want to explore more.
ELIAS: In what direction?
BRIAN: Very good question, in what direction? In more of my movement.
ELIAS: In what type of movement?
BRIAN: I guess this would fall back into relationships, then Ė into something longer lasting. Is it in my line of probabilities?
ELIAS: It is a potential. It is dependent upon you.
BRIAN: And dependent upon my acceptance of self?
BRIAN: When we talked last time and we got cut off, we were talking about fear of exposure. What did you mean by that?
ELIAS: A fear of genuinely exposing yourself to yourself and with another individual, especially...
BRIAN: And you see that in the time framework that Iíve been here in this focus, I havenít really been doing that, have I?
BRIAN: Thatís why I ran into trouble with the relationships, because I hid.
ELIAS: You retreat, and you allow other individuals to dictate your choices.
BRIAN: That definitely happened. If I stood my ground, the relationships would not have lasted as long as they did, because they were not beneficial to me in the long run. I mean, I learned a lot about myself, but it took a lot of, as you say, going through the thickness and the conflict and the trauma to get to where Iím at now. I really wouldíve liked to have avoided that, and the only way I could have was by acceptance of self, I see now.
ELIAS: Correct. But it has been beneficial, for it has offered you information, and allowed you to view yourself more clearly and understand yourself more clearly, and therefore allowed you to address to what you restrict within yourself and what you do not allow in your own freedom. It also has offered you the opportunity to be more aware of your fear in association with relationships.
BRIAN: Would that be Ė and Iíve heard this before Ė fear of commitment, for going all the way with a relationship? In our reality, marriage, the whole belief system stuff, is that what you mean by fear of relationships, of committing all the way?
ELIAS: Not necessarily. That may be a factor, but it is not necessarily that fear, for there are other fears that are more strongly expressed that prevent you from even moving in that type of a direction.
BRIAN: And what would that fear be?
ELIAS: The fear of exposure, that you would allow yourself to dictate your own choices and direct yourself and not wait for the other individual to generate choices that you are responding to, rather than moving in the direction of following the other individualís direction and denying your own. For you incorporate this fear of exposure, that if you are expressing that openness and vulnerability, you shall be open to the other individual being hurtful, or in your terms, taking advantage.
BRIAN: And like you said, feeling misunderstood.
ELIAS: Which is quite understandable, for you are not allowing yourself to express yourself. Therefore, you are projecting this energy of expecting the other individual not to understand, and therefore, you reflect that. As you have created this pattern and it has become quite familiar, it is challenging to view that if you are expressing that exposure you would actually be altering your energy and would be generating the type of reflection that you actually want. But the fear is blocking that action
BRIAN: Am I overcoming that in my movement? I am closing my eyes as you are talking, and Iím actually very aware that in changing, this summer, the awareness of this, that I feel a different energy emanating from me. Do you view this, too?
ELIAS: Yes, a beginning.
BRIAN: Iím going in increments and very much changing, I guess not taking things so personally, just more of getting to know me more.
ELIAS: Yes. And in that, as you continue and you dissipate the fear through acceptance of yourself and you allow yourself to stop forcing energy, you may become much more comfortable in expressing yourself and allowing yourself that openness and vulnerability, which is the exposure. As you allow yourself to express more in that manner and express more of what you want and your freedom, not in expectation of another individual, but merely in expressing yourself in what you want, that shall create a different energy, which shall allow you to draw different individuals to yourself that will reflect differently.
BRIAN: Thank you. Itís already happened. I am sure you can even see that in me, that in the last few weeks Iíve actually been amazed by three different personalities, women that have surprised me, gravitating to me, which has shocked me. (Elias chuckles) I can see that youíre right in being more comfortable with me and acceptance of self and expanding my awareness. Itís allowing an attraction in a way that my energy is changing.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but also remember that these patterns and these expressed beliefs and this fear is very familiar, and therefore, it may easily be engaged and expressed again.
BRIAN: Yes, exactly. The only way actually to divert that is once again awareness and no expectations and no comparisons. God, thatís been a bane my whole life, comparing and worrying about what other people think.
ELIAS: Yes, and as you continue to pay attention to you and not be generating expectations and not moving into the familiar expression of seeking approval from another individual, you may be generating much more of what you want in association with relationships.
BRIAN: Thank you so much, Elias.
On a different note, ever since I was a child I would wake up in the morning and this energy, this feeling tone would come through me. It still does occasionally, just like a very powerful wave of the most euphoric feelings you could ever want to feel. What is it? Itís just so beautiful and magical.
ELIAS: It is you.
BRIAN: It is me? It is my feeling tone; itís like the me of me?
BRIAN: Is that my essence tone?
BRIAN: Itís so tough to explain, and yet itís so glorious and so happy. (Elias laughs) I canít even explain it. Itís like an energy.
ELIAS: I am aware.
BRIAN: Itís actually the way that I feel when Iím playing on stage. You are quite aware of me choosing to be a musician. Itís probably one of the truest forms of expression that I know of, and itís so beautiful to do.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Now translate that into your interactions in relationships.
BRIAN: You mean what I create effortlessly in my love of (inaudible) and my love of music, where everything seems to come naturally? I was just reading this from you the other day, that if you Ė an area that I spend a lot of energy pushing is in relationships Ė so the harder I push the more difficult they become. Whereas, if I just allow free flow of what I do with my (inaudible) and my music and then in relationships, I would have the free flow of energy in them, correct?
BRIAN: Yes, itís almost so apparent. (Elias laughs) Amazing. Thank you so much for some of that.
Can I ask you a question? With Cynthia being soft and me being intermediate, but there was just something so... Are our tones very much alike? How many focuses did we share? Because, to come back to it again, it just left such a mark on me, the relationship with Cynthia.
ELIAS: Shared focuses, 41.
BRIAN: And you said it was in different manners, husband/wife, siblings, it ran the whole gambit.
BRIAN: Is her tone... Are we counter... I canít say counterparts, but are we of similar essence?
ELIAS: There are similarities.
BRIAN: But weíre not in the same alignment, because Iím Sumari with Ilda. Weíre not in the same alignment, are we?
BRIAN: I didnít think so. I think in this focus she was the presentment, as I told you before, of belief systems all the way around, I mean right down the line, of all the belief systems.
ELIAS: Yes, and also a reflection of expectations.
BRIAN: Yes, it was very much a mirror image going on in that relationship. I didnít see it until it was all over, but it was definitely a mirror image of me.
BRIAN: Itís like you said before, we create the other essence to interact with. So they are basically, as you said, an illusion that we create in our reality to bounce ourselves off of.
ELIAS: Not precisely, but somewhat, for you do draw specific individuals to you to interact with their energy to generate that reflection. You specifically draw an individual, this individual that you engaged a relationship with, for that individual would quite precisely reflect your energy to you; whereas, another individual may not reflect as precisely. But this is the precision of your reality, that you do incorporate this action automatically, continuously within your focus. All of the individuals that you draw to yourself are presentments in a particular moment or time framework of reflecting yourself in different manners.
BRIAN: I actually have seen that recently, as I was telling Michael, of what just happened the other day, within this week, Elias, the presentment of certain key words. Iíve heard ďacceptance,Ē ďsimultaneous time.Ē This was from a very religious woman who had taken The Course in Miracles, but I canít help but think that all these little presentments are coming to light and that actually I am presenting them to myself.
BRIAN: Exactly. Itís fun, and as you are going through the moment and youíre noticing in the moment the presentment so it doesnít have the after effect, in the moment youíre thinking to yourself, oh my god, look what I am creating for myself.
ELIAS: Correct. Noticing is one of your most powerful tools.
BRIAN: All these questions, questions, questions. My goodness, weíre almost there! (Elias laughs) It is kind of funny, isnít it? So right now I sort of feel, like I said, a little floundering, but I know Iím moving. It feels like I am going into uncharted waters right now. Can you give me just a little hint as to where I am going right now?
ELIAS: Offer explanation of ďfloundering.Ē
BRIAN: Sort of like... Well, let me take that back, because itís really not floundering. Iím actually expanding my periphery quite well. What I think it is, itís like what you said before, itís an unfamiliarity of this information, of where to take it and how to use it. Thatís where the little bit of floundering comes in. Itís like Iím going into waters that I havenít gone into yet.
ELIAS: You are already in the water! And now the action is to actually generate this information in your experiences in each day, in all that you do, to be genuinely paying attention in the now and to be paying attention to you and to what you are doing, what you are expressing and what type of energy you are projecting. That is the action.
BRIAN: So thatís my intent and my movement. Iím in my movement right now.
ELIAS: Yes. Now it is a matter of genuinely paying attention to yourself in the now and paying attention to what you are actually doing, and recognizing that what you are doing is a choice, noticing your automatic responses in ALL that you do.
BRIAN: With that, I would like to do that exercise you talked about, in a single day of writing down how many times of devaluing and discounting, just actually write it down and be physically aware of each moment that you do things.
ELIAS: That exercise can be quite valuable, and I do suggest that exercise to many individuals for it offers you many different avenues to be affecting of your energy and your perception. For as you engage that exercise and you continue it, there are several actions that occur. You interrupt your concentration in association with discounting yourself; you notice, therefore you become more aware; you allow yourself eventually, not initially, but eventually you begin to recognize how many of your automatic responses of discounting yourself are quite humorous, which also alters your energy.
BRIAN: Actually, I do look for humor in stuff.
ELIAS: I may express to you, as you continue with the exercise, you begin to view many of your discountings of yourself as being humorous, for they begin to appear to you to be ludicrous. Therefore, that also alters your energy.
This exercise also is helpful in allowing you to actually view different choices and different expressions, for in noticing and noting your discountment and what you are discounting and what triggers that discounting, you become more aware of these automatic responses. It allows you to recognize that you do incorporate other choices, that this is merely one choice and it is an automatic response. That begins to occur as you continue to interrupt the concentration of the beliefs that are influencing this discounting. Therefore, within a relatively brief time framework, you begin to allow yourself much more freedom.
BRIAN: Yes, if I could see where duplicity came into play most of my focus...
ELIAS: Let me also remind you, you are not eliminating any beliefs or belief systems...
BRIAN: Just neutralizing.
ELIAS: Duplicity is a belief system also. Therefore, you are not eliminating that, but the manner in which you are neutralizing it is that it is not you shall not express your opinion or your preferences or your likes or your dislikes, but that you begin to recognize that they are not absolutes and that they are relative to you as your own guidelines but not necessarily relative to other individuals.
BRIAN: Excellent. Thank you so much, Elias.
ELIAS: You are welcome. This also is the manner in which you move into an acceptance of difference. But most importantly, you move into an acceptance of yourself, recognizing that you do incorporate preferences, and you also incorporate expressions and elements of your reality that you do not prefer, and that is acceptable. It is YOUR guideline for how you direct yourself and how you express yourself. That does not express that you are right and another individual is wrong or that another individual is right and you are wrong. It merely is your choice of how you express yourself in association with what you prefer.
BRIAN: Excellent, wow. Thank you so much. Oh, and also thank you for the pretty little blue lights that I see when I close my eyes!
ELIAS: (Laughs) You are welcome.
BRIAN: Actually, before I talked with you objectively, you were in contact with me through the summertime, and I would like to thank you for that, too.
ELIAS: You are welcome.
BRIAN: That was you, wasnít it?
BRIAN: I thought so, because it helped me through a lot of those moments, even just the reading, and in the quieter moments when I would hear your voice, without even knowing your voice. I would definitely like to thank you so much for the energy and the encouragement, my friend.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
BRIAN: We are out of time. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I express to you my anticipation of our next meeting, and I shall be offering my energy to you in encouragement and supportiveness. And remember to be incorporating playfulness! (Laughs)
BRIAN: If you know me like you know me, you can see me and know that I love to do that. And as you said many times, if it ainít fun, donít do it. Thank you so much, my friend. I love you dearly.
ELIAS: And I you also.
BRIAN: You enjoy your reality as I shall now enjoy mine for the rest of my days in physical focus.
ELIAS: Very well!
BRIAN: And when I meet you on the other side, Iíll play guitar for you, too.
ELIAS: Very well! To you in tremendous affection and friendship, au revoir.
BRIAN: Au revoir, my friend. Thank you so much.
Elias departs after 29 minutes.
© 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.