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Sunday, June 05, 2005

<  Session 1780 (Private/Phone)  >

ďIrritation over Inconsiderate BehaviorĒ

ďPaying Attention to What You Are Doing Ė or Not DoingĒ

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Ben (Albert).

(Eliasí arrival time is 19 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

BEN: Good morning!

ELIAS: (Chuckles) What shall we discuss?

BEN: Well, I thought we might talk some along the lines you were talking when I was in New Orleans.

ELIAS: Very well.

BEN: You were talking about fear and irritation in relation to other people. I didnít quite get a grasp on it but I thought Iíd try to pick up on that idea now.

ELIAS: Very well.

BEN: So, I donít know if I can generalize this statement, but as far as irritation from other people, it seems like to me the most irritating thing about other people is when they donít act like I want them to.


BEN: I can give you specific examples, if thatís better.

ELIAS: Very well.

BEN: For example, for whatever reason, it drives me up the wall whenever Iím ready to go somewhere and Benny is not. Itís like weíve made a decision that weíre going to leave the house at a particular time. Iím completely ready to go, and if heís not ready to go, I get so angry.

ELIAS: Ah ha! And have you evaluated this situation?

BEN: Well, I evaluate the situation in terms of choices, because I realize I have the choice to just get up and leave, myself. Iíve made it clear that this is what time Iím going to leave, and I can just go ahead and leave. On occasions, I have gone in that direction. I do realize that itís really just a question of difference, that just because Iím ready to go now doesnít mean that somebody else might be in a different space or whatever and theyíre not ready to go. But as far as me understanding why this particular scenario over other scenarios seems to me to be more irritating... I donít know if itís the most irritating thing, but itís one of the irritating things to me, for whatever reason, that Iíve noticed, and thatís where I am with it.

ELIAS: Which may also involve your association with agreements, that if you interact with another individual and you generate an agreement with the other individual to be incorporating a specific action, there becomes an automatic expectation that the agreement shall be fulfilled and that the other individual shall respond to the agreement in similar manner as yourself.

BEN: Yes, and I do understand the concept that we donít give other people permission to do things that we donít give ourselves permission to do, that I would never break an agreement so, therefore, I donít give anybody else permission to do that.

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: But I do realize itís a difference in style and that people necessarily would not FEEL that theyíre breaking an agreement, that theyíre still within a grace period, shall we say, of an agreement. It has more to do with the fact of me learning that difference doesnít have to mean irritation.

ELIAS: Correct. But the challenge with many different types of scenarios in relation to difference is that in differences there are, generally speaking, expectations, and also there are other associations that are underlying, which generates a difficulty for many individuals to genuinely be incorporating acceptance of difference.

One of the most common obstacles in relation to difference is that of what each individual defines as consideration, that if another individual is being perceived in some manner to be inconsiderate, especially in association with agreements, this generates more of an irritation, and it underlyingly taps into the individualís worth in some capacity.

It is quite common for individuals in relationships with each other to automatically generate some association of their own worth with the relationship, and in that, associating an element of their worth with how the other individual interacts with them. This is not unusual, but it may be considerably challenging to address to, for it is an automatic response, and it requires genuine evaluation and examining within yourself what is being triggered.

In generating an agreement to be incorporating an action together at a specific time, if the other individual is not compliant with that and is not following that agreement precisely, there are many different expressions that automatically are triggered Ė the association that it is inconsiderate. Generally speaking, the manner in which individuals define what is considerate and what is not considerate is associated with their own worth and their expectation of other individualsí behaviors that express a value of them.

BEN: Wait a second; let me see if I get this right. The idea of worth Ė since Iím looking at my own self and seeing whatís going on Ė youíre saying if I find myself in a scenario where I feel like someone else is being inconsiderate, this is a reflection of my self-worth, that perhaps I feel that somebody is discounting me.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes, for this is an automatic gauge that individuals incorporate to assess how another individual values them. Therefore, underlyingly what is triggered is this association that not following the agreement and not fulfilling the expectation of the agreement is inconsiderate. That triggers frustration or even irritation within you. The reason that it triggers this irritation or frustration is that this is a signal of being inconsiderate, which is a signal that the other individual does not value you enough to follow the agreement. That perpetuates and becomes stronger if it is repeated.

BEN: But to me, as you always say, it really doesnít have anything to do with the other person.

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: What Iím trying to look at is the fact that in that moment, my communication is that I donít feel worthy.

ELIAS: Not that you are feeling unworthy, but that you are creating an association of being devalued.

BEN: Exactly, yes. Itís like Iím saying even though this other person may seem to be doing something, itís really more about me creating a situation where this is the outside part and this is the inside part.

ELIAS: Yes. It is not necessarily that the other individual IS actually generating a behavior that is devaluing of you or that that...

BEN: But I also donít think that theyíre intentionally trying to hurt me.

ELIAS: Precisely. It is not necessarily a situation in which the other individual is generating any expression that is devaluing of you or intending any distress or discomfort, but that YOU generate this automatic response in this automatic connection, that if the other individual values you, they SHOULD follow the agreement and therefore fulfill the expectation.

BEN: But to me, it seems to have to do with the fact of me valuing myself...


BEN: ...because if I valued myself before this interaction even occurs, then Iím not going to get the signal of irritation. This person is just going to be acting some way and Iím like, ďOh yes, this personís always inconsiderate, no big deal,Ē and I can go on without being irritated.

ELIAS: Correct. That is the point. But more so, it is also a scenario involving the recognition of the differences and not generating the association of being inconsiderate. This concept of considerate and inconsiderate is significantly dangerous.

BEN: (Laughs) In what way?

ELIAS: For it is an expression of duplicity that is generated in strong judgments. In association with yourself as your own guideline, it is one expression. In regard to other individuals, it promotes the lack of acceptance of difference.

BEN: Because weíre talking about it in terms of it being an automatic response, as Iím watching what I do, I can see the automatic response happening. But then on reflection, I can go back and say, ďOkay, this is why this is happening; this is whatever else.Ē But I imagine that itís not until I really get the hang of it that I will realize that the irritation will no longer be necessary.

ELIAS: Yes, which involves practice and noticing and recognizing that you are generating an automatic response, and allowing, not compounding, it in generating an irritation of yourself also or discounting yourself that you are generating an automatic response, but merely noticing that and acknowledging it, and once noticing, allowing yourself to evaluate what is motivating that automatic response or that irritation.

In that, as you become more familiar with that evaluation, the time framework of your irritation shall decrease, and eventually you shall not be expressing irritation, for you shall allow yourself to be reinforcing you, not holding your attention upon the other individual and your expectation of the other individual in relation to YOUR guidelines of their behavior, but allowing yourself more of an acknowledgment of you and more of a recognition of your own choices, and that your value, or how the other individual values you, may not necessarily be expressed in the same manner that you express to them or that you would express to you.

BEN: Well, I can say I have plenty of opportunities to practice this, especially when Iím dealing with Colleen! (Elias laughs) But I can see that to me, it makes me wonder whatís my payoff for devaluing myself in this manner or discounting myself in this manner?

ELIAS: And what would YOU assess? Your payoff obviously is different in different situations. In association with Colleen, what do you assess is your payoff?

BEN: Itís that kind of thing where I donít want to get into a situation where itís like in my perception this person is acting inconsiderate, and really, what that means is theyíre just acting differently than I do. But the next thing that I find is the real automatic response is on some level, then, Iím better than they are because I donít act that way.


BEN: That seems to be more in the loop. Because to me, itís like in a lot of things I see thereís differences in whatís going on, and it could be quite amusing to me or something, and it wonít give me a strong emotional response. Then I can just say, ďOh, yes, weíre very different,Ē and thatís the end of it.


BEN: But when Iíve just created a scenario, in this case to give myself a big emotional signal and in that case to give myself a big payoff, the only thing that I can imagine is that discounting myself is familiar, that I just do this because itís what I do.

ELIAS: That is one element, and you are correct; it is familiar. For you incorporate strong guidelines for yourself, and it is quite familiar for you to express an expectation of similar guidelines of other individuals and to merely tolerate differences at times. But you also offer yourself a type of payoff at times, such as with your interaction with Colleen, in that many times you engage interaction with other individuals that are not associated with your guidelines, and you acquiesce in different scenarios to other individuals.

BEN: That seems like a discounting as well.

ELIAS: It is! But that is familiar. In actuality, in many of these scenarios, you are associating in a very similar manner, equating your value, or an element of your value, with other individualsí behavior in association to you. (Pause as sirens go off in background)

BEN: Are you still there?

ELIAS: Yes. (Long pause while sirens continue) Interesting interruption! (Chuckles)

BEN: Yes, I think itís funny, too, that I just created a very loud noise. I canít hear anything that youíre saying.

ELIAS: I am aware, but interesting choice of noise, in an alarm! (Chuckles)

BEN: Well, does that mean I canít handle this now? Or should I ask you to repeat yourself?

ELIAS: (Laughs) I shall express to you in repetition, many of these situations, many of these interactions are generated quite similarly and associated with the same expression: you equating an element of your worth with the behavior of other individuals in association with you.

BEN: That makes me think that there would be some benefit for me to engage some kind of activity every day to, in a sense, boost my self-confidence, or to realize that what other people do is only a reflection on me if I choose it to be.

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: But I often wonder... I donít know if you have any suggestions about what would be a good thing to do, because I know youíre not exactly big on affirmations.

ELIAS: Although at times they can be instrumental with certain individuals, I am not generally advocating of affirmations, for generally they do not actually alter an individualís associations or their behaviors. They merely incorporate a repetitious expression to yourself such as a mantra, which actually does not necessarily alter your automatic associations with different expressions. But in some individuals, it can be a useful expression.

I would express to you that it may be helpful to you to be noticing in different interactions within each day how you engage the other individuals, what you actually do.

Let me express to you, you do not incorporate, as you are aware, this type of expression with all individuals. Your interactions with some individuals move in a different type of expression, in which you do not necessarily involve that equating of your value with the behavior of the other individual.

Therefore, first of all, it may be helpful to you to be noticing which individuals trigger this association within you and which individuals do not, and to evaluate what the differences are in the individuals that do trigger this and the individuals that do not, what types of behaviors you generally associate specifically that trigger this association with your own value.

BEN: Now would be a good time to move into a slightly different topic, which is taking the time or making the choice to pay attention to what Iím doing during the course of a day, because I have been practicing.

ELIAS: Ah, very well! And what have you evaluated?

BEN: Of course, one thing is I canít tell you that Iíve been able to do it for an entire day, but I have been doing it over successive days in different amounts, so it adds up.

ELIAS: Yes, which is significant.

BEN: One of the things that I have noticed is it seems to me that about the now, as least where Iím concerned, is a lot of the things that I do in the now exist to perpetuate nothing changing, that I spend a lot of time doing things that keep everything the same.

ELIAS: Such as...?

BEN: Well, I know you use the example a lot of brushing your teeth. I know on one level it has to do with protection, that youíre saying youíre protecting yourself from tooth decay, but for me it seems to be, in that particular case, itís more of a preference to think that if I brush my teeth then my breath is cleaner, and so thatís just a preference. Now, I know I could choose to not brush my teeth and not have any concern about tooth decay at all, but it has to do with my preferences, that because I have favorite things to do or favorite things to eat, that even though I have many choices, I continue to choose the same things.

ELIAS: And what is your assessment with that?

BEN: To me, it has something to do with the now and perpetuating the now as being a state of everything being calm and exactly the same.

ELIAS: Which is an acknowledgment of your preference.

BEN: When I watch what Iím doing, I see that one level about me doing something and doing something repeatedly has to do with the fact that I just donít want anything to change, or at least I donít want those things to change.

ELIAS: Which is a significant evaluation and...

BEN: Thatís what I thought!

ELIAS: ...and is offering you a considerable expression of information in becoming more familiar with yourself. I would be acknowledging of you...

BEN: (Laughs) Oh, yes, me too!

ELIAS: your recognition of your individual patterns and what that actually generates.

BEN: I mentioned eating, because Iíve used this example before that when my friend Rebecca informed me that I always ate the same way, I realized that that was true, that I had this underlying preference that I wasnít aware of, and I realized that the way I eat translates to everything that I do. Iíve been able to say that to other people as well. I can watch how other people eat, and I see that thatís how they lead their lives as well. Itís just a question of preferences.

ELIAS: Yes, which is significant. For as I have expressed previously, it is important to allow yourself to become familiar with and identify what your preferences are, for this offers you valuable information and allows you to incorporate a broader awareness of what you want and what your natural flow of energy is.

BEN: Yes, I realize that itís not about me changing my preferences. Itís like when Iím aware of them, itís not like saying, ďOh, but look how many other choices you have.Ē Itís like realizing you have lots of other choices and that this is what you continually choose.

ELIAS: Correct, for that is what generates your comfort, for it is your preference.

BEN: But that, to me, would have to do with the fact of exploring the now was sort of like the fact that I was constantly choosing to perpetuate a particular kind of now.

ELIAS: Very well.

BEN: I mean, one of the other things is I know you often talk about the first things you do when you get up in the morning. Iím sitting there watching myself shave or else Iíll be in yoga class or whatever else, and Iím just sitting there going thereís a lot of imagery that has to do with reflections, that Iím judging what Iím doing. Itís not like Iím not protecting myself because Iím choosing to shave. Itís just a preference. I happen to think that I look better this way, and some days I decide not to shave because I donít want to. But itís that kind of thing that has something to do with this reflection idea, that Iím constantly looking at a mirror or at other things to see where I am.

ELIAS: Yes, which is acceptable, and is, as you have evaluated, one of your preferences. Also, I am acknowledging of you and your practicing in the now, which also may be significant in association with the other subject matter, in relation to how you interact with other individuals.

BEN: As other individuals are a reflection as well.

ELIAS: Correct, but also in relation to the noticing of or the recognition of your preferences, incorporating in the now the ability to recognize whether you are allowing yourself those preferences in relation to sameness and also in relation to your own expression of comfort, or whether you are acquiescing with another individual and not paying attention to your preferences.

BEN: Yes, but sometimes compromising with someone else can be a preference in that moment and can give you a payoff by feeling like youíve done something good: ďI compromised with this person.Ē

ELIAS: I would define that differently, for compromise is merely another term for acquiescing.

BEN: (Laughs) Yes?

ELIAS: But you may generate satisfaction in interaction with another individual if you are generating a cooperation, not necessarily compromising, but cooperating to generate or discover other choices than merely one or another. That is not an action of compromise; that is an action of cooperation, allowing yourself to evaluate in conjunction with another individual that you incorporate more than two choices, and that you may together in sharing discover other choices that may be comfortable to both of you and allow you to both cooperate with each other. Compromising is denying you Ė acquiescing to another individual in the anticipation that you shall generate somewhat of what you want.

BEN: Could we move on to another topic?


BEN: So, my next topic I want to discuss is probably the same topic Iíve been talking to you about since I first started talking to you, which is physical symptoms, my health, blah-blah-blah. One of the things that I have come to think recently is I donít necessarily automatically judge my symptoms anymore. Iíve come to the realization that itís sort of like everybody has their own style or their own preference. Everybody has their own organ, letís say, that they choose to communicate to themselves with. So, itís not like I think that Iím going to reach some kind of state where Iím not going to be communicating with myself with physical symptoms at all. Itís like when I get them, I think that this is just the part of my body that I choose to communicate with myself, and it doesnít automatically become a sense of dread.

ELIAS: Congratulations!

BEN: (Laughs) Yes, but itís still there! Iím still communicating to myself; I just donít think Iím getting the communication. (Elias laughs) Itís not like I donít think Iím going to stop talking to myself, that everythingís going to be perfect and Iím going to stop talking to myself. I continue to talk to myself and I continue to miss communications.

ELIAS: But I may express to you, another element in this is that you are also generating an association that the communication is the same, that it is always the same.

BEN: No, I agree with you on that. I feel that just because Iím communicating with this part of my body, itís not for the same reasons. This is just a part of my body I use to give myself a communication.

ELIAS: Correct, and that communication may be different in different time frameworks and associated with different messages.


BEN: Itís interesting, because it wasnít until recently when I was last at the doctor having a physical and I was talking quite similarly as I am to you. I told him that I seem to have three different organ systems or whatever that I choose to affect whenever somethingís going on with my life. Iím either affecting with my digestive system, Iím affecting with my skin, or Iím affecting with my respiratory system. It wasnít until today that I thought that all of those systems have to do with getting rid of something, or thatís part of it.

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: So, I canít help but think that even though I could suddenly decide to get something else going along, I seem to have issues on different levels of just getting rid of stuff.

ELIAS: Correct, which that would be the ongoing communication that is associated with more specific situations or subject matters. That would be the connecting element, in a manner of speaking. Yes, the connecting element is that you are attempting to eliminate some element or expression within your reality, but each communication may be more specific to different situations or expressions. They may be...

BEN: Like right now, for the past couple of weeks Iíve been expressing myself quite frequently with diarrhea. To me, this is like going I just donít have my shit together. (Elias laughs) I donít need this expression for me to realize that thatís going on. If I have to look at something else in my life to ask what else is going on in your life that you would keep talking to yourself in this manner, itís like it could be anything.

ELIAS: And what is your assessment? This is the point of paying attention to what you are doing or what you are not doing.

BEN: Oh, because Iím not getting rid of something?

ELIAS: It may be associated with what you are doing, but it may also be what you are not doing, which generates another communication.

BEN: I know Iím in this now still not changing the job Iím at, but I also think that Iím moving toward creating another situation.

ELIAS: In that, what are you doing and what are you not doing? For this is associated with that physical expression, and it also is associated with the information that you have offered to yourself recently in relation to noticing your preferences and noticing what you do and the choices that you incorporate within your day.

BEN: Iím not sure if I get you.

ELIAS: It is a movement that you are generating in pushing yourself. In a manner of speaking, you are pushing yourself to a crossroad. You have been generating vacillating in your direction for a considerable time framework to now, but you also incorporate a preference to incorporate sameness and not changing.

Now; let me express to you, this is also associated somewhat with your essence family.

BEN: So, you mean the repetition of the Sumafi?

ELIAS: And the comfort in some elements of your environment not changing. Although they do change, but they change in manners that are not obvious, or they change in increments that are expressed throughout long time frameworks. Therefore, they are less noticeable and that generates more of a comfort.

BEN: Oh, yes. I mean, to me, itís because I still operate under the belief that somebody else gives me a job.


BEN: Itís much easier for me to create the situation that somebody lays me off from my job than for me to say I donít like it here, Iím just going to quit.

ELIAS: Correct. But also there is another factor, in which you have incorporated somewhat of a want to incorporate some change but that moves in opposition to your preference to incorporate sameness and the comfort of not incorporating dramatic change. What you do in different situations is you incorporate the sameness in an extensive time framework to the point in which you shall generate pushing yourself to a crossroad. In a manner of speaking, figuratively it is an action that may be expressed in you hold to that familiar to an extent and for an extended time framework to a point in which you generate an extreme in which you must incorporate a change, in which you view that you have eliminated the possibility for continuing in the present sameness. Are you listening?

BEN: Yes...

ELIAS: Eliminating the present choice and sameness and direction, and FORCING yourself to incorporate a new direction.

BEN: Well, this is just my preference for doing things. I donít really have a judgment about the fact that I do things the way I do.

ELIAS: I am understanding. I am not expressing a judgment, either. I am merely...

BEN: I didnít think you were.

ELIAS: I am merely expressing an identification of what you are doing and how that associates with what you express within yourself in physical communications.

BEN: Are you talking about the forcing part or the pushing part?

ELIAS: Yes, and the eliminating element. You expressed to myself the terms of ďgetting rid of,Ē which is the same as eliminating.

BEN: I agree.

ELIAS: And in these different time frameworks, what is similar is the eliminating element. In this time framework, once again, you are generating this action of moving yourself into a position in which your perception is that it is no longer possible to continue in your present direction. Therefore, you must alter your direction.

What you eliminate are your choices Ė not as a bad expression; other individuals incorporate this method also, and that is not to say that it is a bad method. But this is merely a clearer identification of what you are actually doing: forcing yourself in a particular manner in which you move to the point of that crossroad, and within your perception, you must choose a different direction.

BEN: I certainly, until right now, have never considered the idea of elimination to have to do with eliminating choices, too. Thatís good.

ELIAS: (Laughs) In a manner of speaking, you do. You offer yourself choices, but you are also eliminating choices.

Let us incorporate the example of previous experience that you have incorporated in your physical dwelling. You incorporated a time framework in which you inhabited a particular physical dwelling, and you incorporated that sameness for an extended time framework, in that, knowing that it was supposedly temporary, correct?

BEN: Yes.

ELIAS: But incorporating the familiar action and doing of not moving in a direction of preparation for the discontinuation of that temporary situation, until you had moved yourself or pushed yourself to a point in which it was no longer possible, in your perception, to continue in that direction, therefore forcing yourself to generate a change and incorporate a different direction. Which, in one respect, you offered yourself many choices of where you may incorporate a new dwelling, but you also eliminated choices and restricted yourself in relation to time, in relation to comfort, in relation to tension or expressions of relaxation, for you were forcing your energy. You accomplished, and this is a familiar action that you incorporate. You are engaging a similar expression now.

BEN: When you were talking about the relaxing part, you were saying because Iím forcing myself, Iím saying I canít relax now, Iíve got something Iíve got to do thatís more important. Is that what you mean?

ELIAS: Yes, yes. Which, you also generate physical symptoms. (Pause) And these...

BEN: Itís not like youíre telling me anything new. Youíre just clarifying the fact that this is the way I prefer to do things.

ELIAS: Correct, which is not bad or wrong. It is a method. It is merely the method that you choose.

BEN: Itís the same kind of thing, that these are the physical symptoms that I prefer to communicate to myself with.

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: Itís just a preference.

ELIAS: Correct, for that gains your attention efficiently.

BEN: Oh, yes. Thatís one of the other things that since Iíve been trying to pay attention to what Iím doing in the now that I use, even when something bad happens, shall we say. Like if I have a physical symptom or whatever, then the first thing I try to do is I use that as a trigger to ask, ďWhat are you doing now?Ē It becomes another reminder to snap back into paying attention to what Iím doing.

ELIAS: Correct. But this is also, as I have expressed, the opportunity for you to be inquiring of yourself not merely what you are doing but what you are NOT doing, also.

BEN: Thatís certainly true for me for a lot of things. When I was talking about moving to London or whatever, when I was going thereís all these things I need to be doing and I was so surprised that I kept choosing to do anything else.

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: But I also didnít necessarily discount myself. I was going, ďOh, thatís interesting. I keep choosing to relax or do things that I want to do and not do things that I donít want to do.Ē

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: Thereís no judgment in that.

ELIAS: Which, the significance of that noticing and paying attention is that you acknowledge yourself, and you offer yourself more information and become more clearly familiar with you and what you are actually doing, rather than discounting yourself or viewing yourself to be a victim.

BEN: Since Iím continuing to practice paying attention to what Iím doing, and as far as what I mentioned today as far as my insights to what Iíve noticed so far about what Iím doing, is there anything else you can tell me that I might want to be looking for or that Iím over looking? Sometimes I get kind of confused about the concept of what Iím doing, because to me, I can run through the checklist and just do my senses: okay, what am I doing now? Well, Iím breathing; Iím seeing things; Iím hearing things; I have physical sensations because Iím sitting in a chair. I can run through all those kinds of things, too. I can say Iím thinking, Iím whatever else. To me, when you say ďdoing,Ē you mean everything.

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct. Within any given now, what you may be doing may also be associated with some anticipated or future action, or what you are not doing may be associated with some anticipated future action.

BEN: And just be aware of that, that some of my actions are outside of the now, is that what you mean?

ELIAS: Not necessarily. That is somewhat too literal. For many times, some anticipated future actions are also an element of the now. As I have expressed previously, I do not express to any of you to be paying attention in the now to such an extent that it excludes any other perceived time framework. That would quite unnatural.

BEN: Yes, I understand.

ELIAS: But in paying attention within the now, you allow yourself to be aware of those elements of your perception that are associated with or projecting to an anticipated action in the future or a recalled experience of the past and what you are doing in that, how you are associating, which may not necessarily incorporate thinking.

It is not necessarily associated with paying attention to ďI am thinking of some future anticipated action or direction.Ē It may not necessarily be an expression of thinking. It may be an energy that you are incorporating, an agitation, an attitude, a particular type of physical movement that you may be incorporating in what you are actually doing that is being influenced by an anticipation or a recalled experience. Therefore, it creates a type of lens in association with your perception.

As an example, a simple example, you may be interacting with another individual and at some point you may generate a type of tone within your voice in your expression with the other individual that you may not necessarily notice or be objectively aware of. But you shall be aware quickly, for the other individual shall change their expression to you and shall reflect that to you in some manner, either in questioning of you or expressing in response to you in irritation, or the other individual may reflect to you in an expression of hurt. Therefore, you shall present yourself with an immediate reflection of what energy you are expressing.

Now; that energy may be associated or influenced by some anticipated future direction that you may be experiencing an irritation with or an anxiety with that you may not necessarily be noticing the signal of irritation or anxiety. Therefore, you may not necessarily be FEELING those expressions. Therefore, you are also not noticing what type of energy you are projecting or how you are expressing yourself. You perceive yourself to be expressing yourself in your usual manner, but you are presenting to yourself a reflection that suggests otherwise. This is an example of paying attention to how past or future is interplaying and influencing what you are doing now.

BEN: Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

BEN: So, before I let you go, can I ask you for some essence info for my friend Ermann, who is in Amsterdam?

ELIAS: Very well. And what is your impression?

BEN: I knew you were going to ask that! (Elias laughs) Well, I donít know about essence names. Iím going to tell you that his orientation is common...

ELIAS: Correct.

BEN: ...and that he may have Tumold or Gramada in his families.

ELIAS: Alignment Gramada. And your impression as to belonging?

BEN: Oh, I donít know. Those were the two families I came up with. Should I know this?

ELIAS: (Laughs) It is merely a matter of offering impressions.

BEN: Is he Sumafi as well?


BEN: Okay, so heís Sumafi/Gramada.

ELIAS: Yes. (Chuckles)

BEN: Why is that so funny?!

ELIAS: It is merely a...

BEN: So his orientation is common, and whatís his essence name?

ELIAS: Essence name, Ongique, O-N-G-I-Q-U-E (AHN jeek).

BEN: Is there a geographical location that this name is associated with?

ELIAS: Scandinavian.

BEN: Oh, this is a Scandinavian name. Iím pretty sure we share some focuses together somewhere. I also felt, when I was in Amsterdam last time, that I certainly must have a focus there since one of the things I did there was I turned a windmill, and it just seemed to be too familiar to me.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Yes, you are correct.

BEN: So, I have a focus somewhere in Amsterdam that had something to do with working a mill.


BEN: Can you tell me about a focus that Ermann and I may have shared, so I can tell him?

ELIAS: One within the physical location that you identify as Newfoundland, as relationship of brothers, incorporating the occupation of fishermen upon a fishing boat.

BEN: We were both fishermen together.


BEN: And about when was this?

ELIAS: Early 1800s.

BEN: Cool! I think heíll get a kick out of that. (Elias laughs) And I got a kick out of our talk today, so thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

BEN: I noticed you were coughing a bit today. Whatís going on with you and Mary?

ELIAS: (Laughs) Michael is merely acclimating and generating some adjustments with the energy exchange.

BEN: Are you turning up the amp again?!

ELIAS: (Laughs) Ah, in a manner of speaking.

BEN: Okay. Iíll leave that between the two of you. Iím trying to be the protective brother.

ELIAS: Michael is quite capable of acclimating. (Chuckles)

BEN: So thank you, and until we speak again.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend. I shall be anticipating of that, and I shall continue to offer my energy to you. Also, I shall be acknowledging of you, once again, in your discoveries.

BEN: Oh, thank you.

ELIAS: To you as always, in great affection and in dear friendship, au revoir.

BEN: Au revoir!

Elias departs after 1 hour, 13 minutes.

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