Sunday, July 17, 2005
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Pat (Ling-Tu).
(Eliasí arrival time is 15 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
PAT: Hi, Elias. Iím happy to be with you today. Iím going to launch right into some focus questions. Do my daughter Ashley, essence name Percie, and I share a focus as sisters in a cabaret-type act like in the movie ďWhite Christmas,Ē with Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen? (Pause)
PAT: And Ashley in that focus would be related to the character of Rosemary Clooney, and I would be the character played by Vera Ellen?
PAT: Ashley and I also share a focus where weíre both hunters in Alaska, weíre native Eskimos, and I was killed by a polar bear in that focus?
PAT: I have a focus as an archeologist? (Elias nods) I know! Because I went to a job interview at the Museum of Archeology and felt very much at home. I have a focus who is an artist who either designed or physically created the terra cotta army?
PAT: Sid/Calum asked if he was observing essence to that focus.
PAT: Is Rod Serling, who created the ďTwilight Zone,Ē a focus of mine?
PAT: And Sid/Calum and Jeannie/Lucille share a focus as sisters in Italy where we have a very comfortable existence? We live in a villa? (Elias nods) Now, when I doodle various shapes and forms in my sketchbook, am I feeling a focus who writes hieroglyphics in Egyptian, an Egyptian focus who writes in hieroglyphics? (Pause)
ELIAS: At times. In other times, you are generating shapes that are being expressed in another reality. At times, you are also generating shapes that are associated with working with markings of an earlier culture.
PAT: A primitive culture?
PAT: I love to draw and love the imagery of the spiral. I draw it all the time. I wondered whether or not that was related to a focus as a Maori tribesman. They do that tattooing of spirals.
ELIAS: Yes, and also a future focus.
PAT: This is a great question for me: did my friend Jonna, who disengaged a couple of years ago, pay me a visit about four months ago when I was in bed, and he cuddled up to me in bed?
PAT: It was very much like when I had that experience with my father.
PAT: My son Dillon is aligned Vold, as am I. My expression seems to be predominately joyful; his seems to be predominately, um, I donít want to use the term ďnegative,Ē but I guess thatís the best term, what we consider negative is the best way to describe it. I use the imagery of a piano keyboard as a way to explain to myself the difference in Vold alignments in the expression of extremes. Is that an accurate representation for me to understand that difference of us both being Vold aligned?
PAT: It really helps me to get it, that itís okay. He likes to play the low keys on the piano, boom, boom, boom, and I like the dee, dee, dee...
ELIAS: (Chuckles) I am understanding.
PAT: Thatís how I explain it to myself. Sometimes itís challenging for me. I just want him to be happy. But I realize he IS happy.
PAT: Heís happy, and thatís his natural movement. Right?
PAT: Heíll say, ďI love when it rains. Donít you love when it rains?Ē Whereas some people are like I hate a rainy day. Thatís tied in to his intent, correct, of exploring what we consider the darker or the negative? Heís doing his thing, heís right on track, and itís so beautiful for him.
ELIAS: Correct, and not necessarily negative.
PAT: Not at all, for him. I recognize that, and thatís how that feels. He was recently diagnosed, certified in his school with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and they consider him in the area of Aspergerís Syndrome. My question for you is is that label an accurate thing with him? It doesnít feel that thatís what it is, to me.
PAT: Itís just the way the school presently attempts to explain his behavior to themselves. (Elias nods) And heís fine. You know, Elias, I sat in those meetings at the school and said, ďThe whole thing doesnít make a whole lot of sense to me, because itís almost like what you are saying is weíre very challenged by the way you express yourself. So in order for us feel better about that, you have to change.Ē
PAT: I said that out loud to them, and they looked at me like, uh-oh, like Iím a problem, but I canít not say that. Itís not in my nature to not speak it. So they think that... Kind of like questionable. But heís going to a new school in the fall, and itís an open school whereas they believe more in multiple intelligences. They donít expect everybody to express themselves the same way. Thatís going to be a better fit for him, right?
PAT: Will he feel... Well, you canít know that because itís a choice for him to make. (Elias nods) Itíll be interesting for me to see how he chooses...
PAT: ...if he chooses to have a different school experience, to experience school in a different way than he has. Heís hated it from the moment he went; he hated it. Thatís because he tells people, ďHi, Iím Dillon. Iím a storyteller and an artist.Ē And thatís who he is, correct? (Elias nods) That is his natural movement, as an oral storyteller, too.
PAT: He found the moment he stepped into the school that that was too restrictive an environment for a storyteller and an artist! (Elias nods) I knew it! I know that heís been just fine all along.
I am very attracted to the imagery of vampires in books, in film and TV. What does that represent for me?
ELIAS: An other-dimensional focus.
PAT: Did I have an other-dimensional focus with a vampire?
ELIAS: (Nods) There are several other individuals that do also...
ELIAS: ...that you may connect with.
PAT: Sid is one, Leslie/Myranda is another (Elias nods), the guy that I just met at my new job, Jeff M., a medical student? (Elias nods) He likes them too. Also, Leslie/Myranda and I were laughing the other night about how interesting it is that in the Catholic mass the priest says take of this for this is my blood Ė of Jesus Ė and drink my blood. And Jesus rose from the dead. Leslie and I were laughing that Jesus was a vampire! (Elias laughs with Pat)
ELIAS: And incorporates other focuses, also.
PAT: As a vampire? (Elias nods) Isnít that fascinating?
Whatís my connection to Cary Grant? (Pause)
ELIAS: Counterpart and partial observing essence.
PAT: How about to Ingrid Bergman? (Pause)
ELIAS: Family member.
ELIAS: No. Previous; grandmother.
PAT: Did Sid dream about the London bombings and was his current focus Alexander one of the people who had to crawl out of the train station in the dark? (Pause)
ELIAS: That focus disengaged.
PAT: I have a concurrent focus that knows Alexander?
PAT: Related to Alexander? Or friend? (Elias nods)
Sid has a game impression in the category of numbers: six under Borledim...
PAT: ...and nine under Milumet.
ELIAS: One point.
PAT: Great. How many focuses does my husband Dan, whose essence name is Rah, share with my sister-in-law Lisa, whose essence name is Xyllith?
PAT: And in a number of those, they were married or lovers?
PAT: Yeah, they love each other! Itís so great to see, really cool. I really like it.
When I have flair-ups of tendonitis in my arm, what am I trying to tell myself?
ELIAS: What is your impression?
PAT: I think Iím holding too tightly to things. (Elias nods) Is that it? That pisses me off about myself.
ELIAS: (Points at Pat) Opposing!
PAT: I know! (Laughs) Thank you for that. I recently had a very interesting exploration the past four months. You are aware of that, where I created losing my job? Can we talk about that for a moment? (Elias nods)
I purposely accepted that job, even though I had challenges working for her previously. I purposely moved into that position, partially because I had a momentary panic about losing my other job and money issues, but also to show myself differences in work style and what my preference is and the environment I want to work in. Correct?
PAT: Also, there were people there I wanted to meet, like Alex. How many focuses do I share with Alex?
PAT: A number of those are in intimacy. We were lovers or married, correct?
PAT: Yeah, I love him. The interesting thing about that experience, Elias, that Iím really pleased about is after I created losing the job... I really didnít want to be there anyway; I wasnít enjoying myself. I never brought any of my personal effects to that job. I knew that I was not going to be there long. I created her having an extreme reaction to the email I sent, where she considered it a personal attack on her and I had to go that day. But I created them paying me for three more weeks and not standing in the way of my collecting unemployment. And I even got a better job! (Elias chuckles) It was great.
I did notice that in the time that I was off, the four months that I was off, it allowed me to notice some of my beliefs about money, number one, because I had a snare in my unemployment and it got held up. But I had only, maybe it was only three times, short, very short like maybe an hour or so, of panicky feelings, where I recognized that if I wanted to step into that fear space, in that reality, and experience that intensely that I could, and then itís a really simple choice...
PAT: ...of stepping into that perception. Is that stepping into a perception?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking.
PAT: Is there a space thatís called ďfearĒ? You know what I mean?
ELIAS: It is an experience, not a space.
PAT: So I recognized that I could if I wanted to. But I really didnít want to because it felt uncomfortable, and why would I want to choose that given the choice and knowing I have a choice, right? (Elias nods) Yay! That was so great. (Elias laughs) Because usually I stay there for a while, in the past. This is where I see myself making my own movement, like when you were talking yesterday about acknowledging yourself.
PAT: That was one of the areas in which I wanted to acknowledge myself. I recognized that I really didnít want to, but I also know me and I like it spicy. (Elias chuckles) I like to have those extreme experiences of a bit of intensity. But I just didnít want to do that this time.
ELIAS: But the most significant was that you recognized that you had a choice.
PAT: It was amazing, and it felt great. I moved through that whole experience and I created a better job for myself...
PAT: ...with more money, and it didnít have a whole lot of drama. It was not all drama.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Congratulations.
PAT: Thank you. And that is evidence of me shifting?
PAT: I also recognized that I can choose that if I want to some other time, if I want an extreme experience again. I can do so without judging myself about that.
ELIAS: And knowing that it also is a choice.
PAT: Just like when Rachel and I would (inaudible). Thatís gotten a lot better Ė my youngest daughter, when I was so challenged by that, remember?
ELIAS: I am aware.
PAT: You were so helpful to me. Thereís been movement in that area too, correct?
PAT: Iíve made some real movement there. And you know why? Because sometimes Iíll still choose to be mean to her and cruel Ė well, what I was interpreting as cruelty, but now I donít judge myself for choosing that, not as harshly as I used to.
PAT: Thatís very cool, Elias. What you said yesterday, youíre not eliminating duplicity, this is what I think I was attempting to do before, eliminate that cruelty piece.
ELIAS: Yes, or force yourself to like what you dislike.
PAT: Well, we all have strong feelings about what we like and dislike, and we donít have to apologize for that.
PAT: My response, is it because if I donít like her behavior, my response is to go to an extreme? Thatís how I view that, that I go to an extreme reaction with her. But I kind of like extreme movement...
PAT: ...and thatís okay. (Elias nods) Even though other people might judge that as being a bad parent, very bad.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
PAT: I was seeing it that way, too.
ELIAS: But she is participating also.
PAT: Exactly. Like we talked about before, she reconfigures that and sheís not feeling intensity as a negative thing, just as Dillon doesnít feel his movement when he does that as a negative thing.
ELIAS: Correct. Their perceptions are different. Therefore, what is significant and important is that you be aware of your perception and what you are expressing to yourself in judgment.
PAT: Thatís where the movement came for me, Elias, in recognizing that that was not her. That was me judging myself, and thatís why it felt so painful.
PAT: I think Iím getting better, if you will, at the recognition Ė not just with her, but in all areas when I do that, the recognition that itís me and that Iím feeling that feeling because thatís me, and nobody else is doing that to me. Theyíre not putting that on me. Iím not the victim to that situation Ė simply to myself.
PAT: I like that Iím not doing that. Itís freedom. Thatís the freedom youíre talking about.
ELIAS: That is the point.
PAT: So, I have a question for Pat/Fryolla. She would like to know the focus type for her grandchild Harley.
PAT: Would you like to talk about something else? I think I donít have any more questions, per se. (Elias laughs) Just kind of visit?
ELIAS: And what would be your choice?
PAT: I donít know; let me think about that. Iíve been in a great space. Iíve been in a really great space, I feel.
Oh! I know, my new job. I feel more at home there with those individuals because I share a focus with them, right?
ELIAS: Partially, and also partially for you have drawn yourself to an environment that you more resonate with.
PAT: Because itís less restrictive? (Elias nods) Dillon and I, boy, we share that in common, too. Then why did I create the other job feeling more restrictive to me?
ELIAS: What is the most unproductive question?
PAT: And I already knew the answer. I told you the answer, that there were things that I wanted, people I needed to meet, things I wanted to show myself about preferences of work environment.
ELIAS: Correct, and you generated benefit and you generated value. Also, in that value, in more clearly identifying your preferences or what your preferences are not, it allowed you to more clearly draw yourself to an environment that is more in keeping with your preferences. But it is necessary to define your preferences...
PAT: First, right. I almost chose the job at the Museum of Archeology. Did I not choose that because I had a focus that does that and I really donít need to?
PAT: Because that would have been more restrictive than the one I did choose?
ELIAS: Not necessarily. You chose to explore THIS direction in this now. Perhaps you may the other, eventually, or perhaps not. But in this now, this is the direction that you are choosing to explore.
PAT: It feels comfortable to me, and Iím happy to be there. And I got more money! Thatís so cool, even though they define it as whatís called a step-down position. I am now working on creating, six months from now, them reclassifying the job to a Research Secretary Four instead of Three, and getting more money, even more money.
ELIAS: I shall be offering my energy to you in cooperation and supportiveness to be accomplishing that.
PAT: Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Well, I donít think I have anything else. Life is good right now.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Congratulations.
PAT: It feels wonderful. I hope I just... Well, it doesnít matter. It doesnít matter if I choose to continue with it or not. It really truly is just me. Itís me exploring me, and I canít do it wrong.
ELIAS: Correct. That is precisely the point. I am greatly acknowledging of you and your movement, and I greatly appreciate you. Remember your presence with yourself.
PAT: That was important for me to hear that yesterday. Thank you.
ELIAS: Remember your existence and the magnificence of it. And you are correct: you cannot do it wrong.
PAT: So we really donít have to worry, ever.
PAT: Thatís freedom. (Emotionally) Why does that make me cry?
ELIAS: For it is a joy.
PAT: Joy? But we equate tears with things that arenít joy.
ELIAS: Not necessarily. Tears are a release of energy, a natural release of energy. In extremes of energy, whether in validation or whether in restriction, it influences the body consciousness to release that energy.
PAT: Iím just comfortable with that. I always say to people, ďOh yeah, I speak fluent emotion.Ē (Elias laughs) I recognize that Iím very comfortable with that, being able to do that. It is a preferred release for me.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
PAT: I like that, and dancing, those two things. I like them both.
ELIAS: Very well!
PAT: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
PAT: Itís been wonderful, and Iím happy to be with you.
ELIAS: And I you, also.
PAT: Always, because Iíve been more and more aware of the fact that you are always there.
ELIAS: And I am.
PAT: Itís great. My thanks to you for that.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. In great appreciation and great lovingness to you, I anticipate our next meeting...
PAT: Iím trying to go to Vermont! I want to meet Sid. I want to hug Sid. Sid and I, we talk on email and I feel so connected to him.
Oh! Can I ask this? My daughter Ashley and I, Iím going to hazard an impression that we share 41 focuses together? (Pause)
PAT: A lot more?
PAT: And with Dillon, fourteen? (Pause)
ELIAS: Reverse numbers.
PAT: And with Rachel? Somehow I feel more, maybe between the those two numbers of 41 and 51.
PAT: More than the fifty-one? Sheís groovy; I like her. Not always, because sheís Sumari and she and I are both belonging Sumari, and I see much similarity in a certain way, like our love of art. Oh, thatís another thing. When I was doing art, oh, that made me happy. When I had the four months off, I was doing that. I sold cards. I was able to translate that into money. It just felt wonderful for me. Thatís the Sumari in me, right?
PAT: How many focuses do I have that are artists?
PAT: Any of them of renown?
ELIAS: Yes. You may investigate.
PAT: I will have to work on that. Oh, Salvador Dali?
PAT: I love him. What else? I had one other thing that flew out of my mind. It was right there. (Elias laughs) Oh, I know. The focus I have who is interpreter for the deaf. Is that Annie Sullivan?
ELIAS: No, but you do incorporate a counterpart action with that individual.
PAT: Is that why like I like Anne Bancroft, because she portrayed her?
PAT: And my connection to the director Luc Besson? (Pause)
ELIAS: Partial observing, partial counterpart.
PAT: I love that movie ďThe Fifth Element.Ē I very much identify with the character of Leeloo, who is the supreme being. Thatís why I love it, right?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And allowing yourself to become the supreme being.
PAT: In the movie, she has a tattoo on her wrist.
PAT: That signifies her as the fifth element. I must have that.
ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs)
PAT: I have to have that. That will be the next tattoo I get.
ELIAS: Very well.
PAT: Thank you!
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend.
PAT: I love you, thanks.
ELIAS: In great affection to you also, au revoir.
PAT: Au revoir.
Elias departs after 33 minutes.
© 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.