Saturday, July 23, 2005
ďSeparation Can Be UsefulĒ
ďStop Projecting; Stop Generating ExpectationsĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Terri (Uliva).
(Eliasí arrival time is 15 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
TERRI: Good morning, Elias.
ELIAS: And what shall we discuss?
TERRI: I actually wanted to start by asking about all of the phone and the electrical problems that Iíve been creating just trying to get this session scheduled. It seems the last time Ė the one with my friend Ė the power went out, the phones didnít work all day. Then I had a feeling, a suspicion that Chicago didnít happen because I had more things that I needed to experience that week. It had been a great week, but then the electrical problems yesterday with her phones not working. I was just wondering, that was my birthday and it was a full moon Ė does that have anything to do with it? Does the energy of the moon... Whatís going on?
ELIAS: In actuality, I may express to you yes. Not in the manner that you think, but individuals do generate more energy in association with the moon. It is not actually that the moon is generating more energy, but in its cycle, you as individuals within your reality respond to the changes that it generates, and you create a higher volume of energy.
In this, it is actually not what you would term to be a wivesí tale that more activity is generated in this part of the lunar cycle, for in actuality, en mass, individuals generate a higher volume of energy, which is affecting of situations, of individualís moods. It may be influencing of more extremes, for there is a higher concentration of energy being expressed. Therefore, it is stronger. Some individuals respond to that energy in what you would term to be a negative manner. Some individuals experience being somewhat more energized and generate what you would term to be a positive experience in association with this cycle. But the concentration is considerably higher, and therefore, if you are an individual that generates electrical types of phenomenon, it would be more emphasized in that time and more easily created and more extreme.
Also, generally speaking, most individuals alter their energy around and on the day of their birth. That is an automatic expression, that there is a strong association with that identification of day of your emergence into this reality, and individualsí energies change surrounding that day. Therefore, that may also be a factor, for you are already generating more of an intensity in association with the lunar cycle and also generating more of an intensity of energy in association with your birthday.
TERRI: I had a feeling thatís what that was about, so that was interesting.
The group session was, of course again, amazing, but I really enjoyed getting more time to spend with Mary, just talking to her. I thought that it was interesting that the more we talked, the more similarities we found in our background, as far as we were both meat wrappers and she became a meat manager. The more that we talked, it seemed that... And she showed up in pink that day, and I just felt like my energy was kind of tight with hers. We were talking this morning that her birthday is on the beginning of the cusp and then mineís the last day of the Leo-Cancer cusp. I was wondering if we had some type of relation.
TERRI: I had a feeling that was going on. So that was cool. So with the counterparts, is there any other significance with that?
ELIAS: In what capacity?
TERRI: I mean, I guess, more of a definition of counterparts.
ELIAS: There are several different types of counterpart action, which I have explained previously and which you can access.
This counterpart action would not be a parallel action, but one that generates many similarities, which also enables you as individuals to interact in somewhat of an ease, for you share many similarities of experiences. Therefore, you generate an automatic understanding and ease in interaction, if you are so choosing to be interacting.
TERRI: Thatís pretty cool. I wanted to ask about my color, too. I had maybe a thought that it might be yellow.
ELIAS: As your focus color or your signature color?
TERRI: Oh, I guess both. I didnít know there were two.
ELIAS: (Laughs) As your focus color, yes Ė bright yellow.
TERRI: Then my signature color, would that be maybe purple? (Pause)
TERRI: Periwinkle, thatís kind of a shade of purple.
I thought it was a very powerful week, as far as starting to get how you can have your own opinion and have an acceptance of someone, with the situation with my friend that emailed me and said that she had sold her house. When I first got the information, my first instinct was to be upset and be offended, but the more I thought about it, I kept trying to keep in mind what you said, that to keep generating the same response, youíre going to stay in the same place. So I thought that by the time that I finally got a chance to talk to her that I had generated a feeling that thatís my opinion of how she should act as a friend, my expectations and her role of being a friend, but I could still accept that the decision she made, the choices she made wasnít like an attack on me. I guess Iím just looking for...
TERRI: That was kind of freeing to be able to do that and still look at her without having the automatic feelings.
TERRI: And then it was a very good week, work-wise. We had the two significant situations, so I thought that maybe I was getting a handle more on generating money and acceptance with the people and the company instead of trying to acquire it and to make them do things the way that I want them done.
ELIAS: I am understanding, and I am acknowledging of you.
TERRI: My date last night I thought was a huge amount of progress, mainly for the fact that he is a police officer, which is like my most hated category of human beings. (Laughs) I didnít get the feeling that I was holding a judgment about him as related to that. I really got a feeling that I was looking at him just as who he is and not putting any expectations or judgments on him.
ELIAS: And what is your assessment and your evaluation of what you have presented to yourself in this situation?
TERRI: I thought it was a great mark of progress that I could just be with him. I was trying to focus on me and just enjoy his company and not attach to him the stigma of being a police officer and what that had meant previously to me. I kept checking with myself and kept getting the feeling that that wasnít coming into play, so I was thinking that I was making a lot of progress there...
TERRI: ...not putting expectations or judgments on him. I really enjoyed my time with him. Is this somebody that I could have something long-term or significant with or a relationship with?
ELIAS: That would be your choice, but what is significant in this now is that you genuinely allow yourself to practice being present with yourself in your interaction with this individual and also being aware to the point in which you can identify when you begin to generate expectations, either of yourself or of the other individual. This may be a valuable practice for you.
If you are so choosing, you can generate a relationship Ė but do not project futurely. Allow yourself to remain in the now. Allow yourself to be present with yourself in the now and not project. For once you begin projecting, you open that door for expectations once again.
TERRI: Is that everyone, or are you just talking about me right now? I mean pretty much do we all, once we begin projecting futurely, we open the door for expectations?
ELIAS: Generally, yes. But I am speaking to you individually.
TERRI: It does have the ability to be a very good practice exercise. I could feel the difference in interacting with him.
TERRI: I wanted to kind of ask you how I was doing with my homework from last time. If I had thought about it last week compared to this week, I would say myself that I hadnít made that much progress and was pretty much doing the same thing. But I think this week I really started to get a lot of the things that we talked about in my last session and then also in the group session. So, I think I started making progress this week.
ELIAS: Yes, and I am acknowledging of you, for you are not merely incorporating the information and expressing it in an intellectual manner, but you are beginning to actually implement and do.
TERRI: It kind of felt like a light bulb went off, like a switch went off, and I was like oh, okay! (Elias laughs) It became much easier this week. That was a great feeling. It was a great birthday present to myself!
ELIAS: And I am acknowledging of that, also.
TERRI: The first session that we had together, I was getting so frustrated trying to get some of this, I started transcribing the tape from our first session. As I was reading it, thatís when it started to click that really, every time weíve talked, weíve been saying the same thing over and over again. (Elias chuckles)
In the first session, we were talking about the sense of sadness and you were saying that it was a not-so-underlying sense of sadness. Is that starting to dissipate some? The reason Iím asking is really tied to animals. It seems like every time I see a hurt deer on the side of the road or an animal I think is suffering, I just start crying uncontrollably. I was wondering if maybe that was tied somehow to the sense of sadness that you were talking about, if maybe thatís how itís coming out.
ELIAS: Partially, but this is also an association that you generate in relation to discomfort and how that automatically associates with you as denial, some sort of denial of yourself. This is what generates that emotional communication.
It also is somewhat associated with a release of energy. For in situations as you have expressed, that triggers that automatic association with the sadness, and in that, you automatically immediately generate holding to energy and generating tension in an extreme which the physical body consciousness responds to to release that energy. This is an efficient manner in which the physical body consciousness can release that energy.
TERRI: Is there anything I can do or practice, I guess, in relation with the denial? Is there anything I can try to be aware of for that?
ELIAS: In this type of situation that you are describing, allow yourself to recognize that you are generating somewhat of a confusion. You are confusing you with the creatures. The creature has engaged a choice and has generated an experience. It may be a choice that is unpleasant to you, but YOU have not generated that choice. You are somewhat confusing your energy and the associations with yourself with the choices of the creatures. If you temporarily can remind yourself that this is not your choice and that in that moment you are not denying yourself and that you may be expressing compassion but to recognize that you yourself have not created that choice, therefore, it is unnecessary to generate that automatic emotional communication.
Now; this is not to say that you may not continue to generate that action of weeping in these types of situations, but it may be somewhat less. For in not generating that extreme association of your own denial, you may be moved or you may be expressing some element of sadness in relation to the creature or even other individuals which may generate some element of tension which may also generate some weeping, but it shall be different, for you shall not experience that feeling of wrenching inside of you. For, you shall allow yourself to generate somewhat of a separation temporarily to become more familiar with your energy and your choices and with what you are doing and that of other manifestations.
TERRI: Because they make that choice and theyíre ultimately okay with that.
ELIAS: Correct. In this, eventually the point is to move in the direction of generating less separation and recognizing that all that is within your environment, within your world, within your universe, all that you interact with is an extension of you and therefore is interconnected with you. But temporarily, it may be beneficial for you to move in the direction of generating somewhat more of a separation to be more clearly identifying you and your energy and what you are doing and your choices in difference to the choices and manifestations of other expressions such as creatures or other individuals.
Separation is not bad. In actually, it is one of your strongest beliefs, in general. It has served an efficient purpose throughout your history. But in association with this shift in consciousness, it does not entirely fit what you are shifting. Therefore, the expression of separation is lessoning, and that is the point. But there are certain aspects of separation that can be quite useful in different scenarios, and this would be one.
TERRI: I guess I have this feeling sometimes that I need to feel sorry for them, and I really donít. The animals are okay.
TERRI: I guess I just wanted confirmation of that, because I really want to in the future have an animal sanctuary, and I have a hard time thinking about that because itís like Iím going to be an emotional wreck the entire time. Iím just wondering if Iím going to be able to do this without losing my mind.
ELIAS: This is the point of temporarily allowing yourself to separate and to recognize that they do generate their own choices. They may be influenced in agreement by your energy if you are directly interacting with them, but their choices are ultimately their choices.
TERRI: I guess I just wanted to hear that. I have the two ferrets, and I was wondering if maybe I incorporated them into my life to remind me of playfulness.
TERRI: Then Buffy, my lizard, I wondered if I incorporated him to remind me to slow down.
ELIAS: Partially, and also partially to be reflecting an energy to you that is strong but fragile.
TERRI: Because he certainly has had a rough life.
Back to my dog, what we were talking about before, that he was licking on his legs to remind me of constant irritations. I was wondering if I was making any progress with resolving some of those. I donít have as strong a feeling with identifying those. Am I making progress in that area?
ELIAS: Somewhat, but I would be encouraging of you to be continuing to pay attention and to continue to be noticing and not opposing yourself, but acknowledging the moments in which you are recognizing or noticing your irritations.
TERRI: I donít have as good a handle on that one. Iíll keep working on that.
ELIAS: Pay attention and notice, and in your noticing, begin noting. Initially, it is not necessary for you to be evaluating or analyzing any of these irritations, but be noting each time you feel those twinges of irritation. Regardless of whether you are aware of what is generating it or not, initially merely pay attention and notice, and then note each time you are generating or triggering any type of irritation.
Once you have generated that for several of your days, perhaps a week, subsequently you can begin to attempt to evaluate what motivates these irritations. What are you generating, what are you doing that creates these irritations? Or what are you NOT doing? In many situations, that would be more accurate.
TERRI: In not doing as far as an action or a thought?
ELIAS: Not doing IS an action equal to doing. For not doing is preventing yourself or stopping yourself or creating an obstacle.
TERRI: Like for instance on the ride home from the airport, I was extremely irritated with the lady because I felt that she lied about where she lived to make sure that sheíd be dropped off first, and the whole ride I was thinking about it. I was trying to just acknowledge the feeling in an effort not to oppose it. Before, I would have not said anything and I would have harbored the irritation and been extremely angry. Instead, I said something. Is that an example of not doing and choosing to say something instead?
TERRI: So, I am on the right track. I just need to keep practicing.
ELIAS: Yes, for this is an action that you do somewhat consistently. You generate an irritation and you do not address to it, or you deny yourself and that reinforces the irritation, in which that becomes the focus of your attention. For you are not allowing yourself your own expression, and in not doing, you shift your attention more fully to the irritation and perpetuate that, and that increases it.
TERRI: I could have said something better than what I actually did. The more I thought about it, the more I could feel myself getting caught up and feeling the irritation grow. So I could have expressed what I was feeling sooner?
TERRI: And that would have kind of stopped it. So I waited too long. I could have...
ELIAS: But this is an example. This offers you an example of how you escalate your irritation through concentration. The other individual is no longer the subject. The irritation is the subject, and that is what you concentrate upon, and you continue to hold your attention upon that irritation and it increases. Which, the more it increases, the less clarity you express for the more clouded you become in focusing your attention in a type of streamlined manner in which all you are aware of is the irritation.
TERRI: I can see that. I should have addressed it right when I first started feeling it, because I know that if Iíd have done that then, it would have been clearer. I could feel when it escalated that I started getting scattered. When I finally said something, it didnít come out as clear as I wanted it to. But I can see where if I would have addressed it immediately, I could have handled it better.
TERRI: But I did feel that I at least made some progress, because before I never would have said anything.
ELIAS: Correct. And also you were paying attention. You were aware of what was occurring, and you were aware of what you were doing, and you were noticing how that irritation began and how it progressed, which is significant. This offers you more information to be more familiar with your automatic responses.
TERRI: Is that why I created Curtis not showing up at the airport, to have that experience instead? Or was that something different?
ELIAS: And what is your assessment?
TERRI: Well, I thought that I made huge progress with him this week, too, as far as trying to generate a cooperation with him and with him calling me yesterday. I got the birthday card and he wrote on there ďthanks for not killing meĒ (laughs), which I assume referred to him leaving me at the airport. So, I thought that he recognized that I was upset but he didnít feel threatened by it, which we talked before that they could feel the threat in my energy because of my expectations.
TERRI: So I am making progress in that area, too.
ELIAS: Correct. You are presenting to yourself many different situations and scenarios and experiences in which you are challenging yourself in your own automatic responses in association with this irritation to emphasis to yourself how easily and frequently it occurs and how much of that irritation is associated with expectations, as we have discussed. Now you are presenting experiences to yourself that emphasize that, but you are generating a different perception somewhat with these experiences, for you are allowing yourself to pay attention to you, rather than automatically projecting your attention to the other individual and expressing blame.
TERRI: So thatís changing their energy and the way they respond to me.
TERRI: Good! (Laughs) Thatís good progress. When he called me yesterday and said that heíd opened a checking account and a savings account and gotten a promotion and a raise at work and a credit card, is that in relation to the way that my energyís changed towards him?
ELIAS: Partially; an encouragement.
TERRI: And a belief that he can move forward. I guess another thing that I want to ask about is I hold certain thoughts toward them differently with Curtis, being my husband leaving and then my boyfriend. He was five years older, and he really felt the brunt of it, as far as feeling abandoned. I always thought that it affected his self-esteem, feeling that he wasnít important enough for them to stay around. I was wondering if that was (inaudible) for him, or was that my own feelings I was projecting on to him?
ELIAS: The latter.
TERRI: So thatís not necessarily his experience.
ELIAS: Somewhat, but that is also in relation to the energy that YOU project.
TERRI: I know that he makes his own choices and his own path, and I try to let him do that, but I get a feeling that heís so angry all the time. I guess sometimes I feel like itís my fault, because the men in his life kept leaving and he really had no male influence.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend, these are quite strong beliefs, but let me also express to you that YOU are projecting and have been projecting a considerable volume of energy in association with these beliefs, which are influencing, but they are more influencing in a different manner. They are not as influencing in association with the other individualís lacking, but in your guilt and your discounting of yourself, you also deny them your supportiveness, and that is responded to.
Let me also express to you, these are other individuals, and how YOU perceive is not necessarily how they are perceiving. What YOU view or assess or evaluate as not happy or angry may not be being experienced by the other individual in that manner. Their association may be quite different. This is what YOU view, for this is what you reflect to yourself in association and confirmation and reinforcement of your own discounting of yourself and of your own expression of guilt. Therefore, this is how you translate the other individualís energy, but it is not necessarily what the other individual is actually experiencing.
TERRI: What would be the most helpful thing I could do in relation to both of them?
ELIAS: To be accepting of you.
TERRI: Once I let go of that guilt and discounting, then they wonít pick up on it.
TERRI: Kind of like the same way that when I changed my thoughts, they didnít get the feeling of threat.
ELIAS: Correct. And in this, remember, it is a matter of what you project and therefore what you create in association with other individuals. If you are projecting an energy of discounting of yourself and of guilt, you are not generating gentleness and a supportiveness. You are not being supportive to yourself, and therefore, how can you actually be supportive to them?
TERRI: Right. So with Jeremy, I feel like Iím more supportive towards him because I donít have that association of guilt with him. Would that be a fair assessment?
ELIAS: Somewhat. But you do discount yourself.
TERRI: Towards him, also? Or I just discount myself in general?
ELIAS: Correct. The less you view yourself as adequate and acceptable, the less you support yourself and the less you generate that type of energy outwardly. The more you become familiar with you, the more you are present with yourself, the more you pay attention. The more you express a gentleness with yourself and acceptance with yourself, the more you shall generate a supportiveness of yourself and of the other individuals also, and that shall reflect in their energy. Remember to appreciate.
TERRI: Working on that! (Elias laughs)
Back to my dog. He has these fat tumors on his thigh, and I was wondering if I created those or if he agreed to create those in regard to body image, that I love him anyway even though he has these fat tumors, and in relation to how I feel about how I view myself as overweight. Is there a connection there?
ELIAS: Yes, and what you view as attractive and not attractive and how easily that influences your perception of dislike.
TERRI: Itís tied in with differences, as far as they look different so Iím not as accepting of them?
ELIAS: Yes, and also in association with appearance. Certain associations with appearance, you generate an automatic response that if you view some element of appearance to be not attractive, there is an automatic response associated with that to automatically also dislike.
TERRI: If I were more aware of that, would the fat tumors start to go away on him? Is that a way to get them to shrink?
ELIAS: That is a potential.
TERRI: Everybody I talk to says itís not possible, but I donít believe that. I think anything is possible. I guess I was wondering if that was connected to if I started to get that and make progress there, would that aid in shrinking the size of them?
ELIAS: It is a strong potential, yes. This is strongly associated, once again, with appreciation and allowing yourself to expand your expression of appreciation.
TERRI: Expand to outside of myself or to expand within myself?
TERRI: When we talked the first time, I had asked about weight, and we were pretty much saying that everythingís coming from a point of lack. Iíve been trying to look at my appearance and appreciate myself every day and look in the mirror and acknowledge what I have created. I think Iím making progress. I donít think Iím making as big a progress as I have in other areas, but I think Iím starting to make progress there. Would that be a fair assessment?
TERRI: Is there anything else I can do, or just keep on that path?
ELIAS: I would advocate that you continuing to generate what you already are in acknowledging yourself and continuing to express some appreciation of yourself. In that, as you reinforce that within yourself, you may be genuinely altering your perception in relation to your appearance. Also, that may be affecting of you and your perception in relation to other individuals.
TERRI: Regarding that part, Iím kind of where I was with the other one. I intellectually understood it. When I appreciate myself, I intellectually understand it, but I donít really believe it yet.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but this is a matter of practice.
TERRI: The way I felt the shift regarding the other one, if I just stay on track with this, that Iíll get this one, too.
TERRI: Practice, practice, practice! (Elias laughs)
As far as Allen goes, Iíve been trying to work on my relationship with him, too. I think with him, I really look at him in regard to my husband because he was his natural son. I think that I pull feelings out of fear that he was going to turn out like him or something like that. Would that be correct?
ELIAS: Yes. (Firmly) Stop projecting; stop generating expectations. He is his own individual, and he is generating his own choices and his own directions.
TERRI: Iím trying to do that, especially in relation to school and letting him make his own decision about what he wants to do. Is that an example...?
TERRI: Sometimes I get these feelings like Iím in a wave, like Iím here but then I get like this real wavy feeling like Iím in-between, like Iím trying to go somewhere else but Iím not completely letting go. Can you tell me what thatís about?
ELIAS: I am understanding. This is also associated with shifting. It is a movement of perception, allowing the perception to relax temporarily and incorporating a slightly different lens, so to speak, with perception, allowing for expanded possibilities and allowing for you to momentarily experience alterations with perception that are more associated with what your reality actually is Ė less of a solidity, more fluidity.
TERRI: Is there a next step to that or a way to expand that? Or it just is what it is?
ELIAS: That shall occur naturally. That shall expand naturally. As you continue to express an openness and as you continue to be practicing with your exercises and paying attention to you and being present with you, you shall also naturally be widening your awareness and incorporating new neurological pathways within your physical brain, which allows you an expanded perception and which incorporates some fluctuations in your actual physical reality, for it allows you to recognize that there is more fluidity to your physical reality than you perceived previously. It is, in a manner of speaking, a natural expansion of flexibility of perception.
TERRI: Itís a very cool feeling.
ELIAS: Which also eventually shall be helpful to you in generating less separation and knowing that you are interconnected and that all of your reality is an extension of you, that it is not separated from you Ė eventually.
TERRI: Iíve just got a couple more minutes left, but I just wanted to revisit the situation with Curtisís father. I thought that I might see him yesterday, because I had the meeting up in Winchester, which altered my plans of where to meet my date, which took me past his house. I was thinking that I might create him being home, that we might meet yesterday. But that didnít happen. I was just wondering what was going on there. I was conflicted about it and having difficulty creating it.
ELIAS: You are incorporating difficulty creating it for you are generating obstacles and apprehension.
TERRI: Was it a probability that he would have been home yesterday, and I just got too apprehensive about it and I cancelled it?
ELIAS: And chose a different probability.
TERRI: I just keep holding on to this apprehension that sheís going to be there and itíd be a fiasco. Would a better route be to send him a letter? Would that...?
ELIAS: That is a choice. I may express...
TERRI: Would he respond to it?
ELIAS: That would be his choice. But your choice presently in blocking yourself is associated with the other individual and your own apprehension.
TERRI: Has he even ever thought about me or his son over these twenty years?
TERRI: I really just need to do more work on myself regarding the apprehension and the obstacles and why Iím creating the obstacles.
ELIAS: And not concern yourself with the other individuals. Focus your attention upon you and your expression and what you want, and do not concern yourself with the other individuals or projecting an expectation or apprehension.
TERRI: I always think itís funny how we seem to get these things regarding one area of our life, but then we donít translate it across the board.
ELIAS: And that is the point, for they are all interconnected.
TERRI: I donít always see that. It took me a long time to see that what I was applying to work and manifesting things applied to my kids.
TERRI: When I finally got that, it was such a revelation. It applies to everything!
ELIAS: That is the point. But this is significant, and I am acknowledging of you, for you are paying attention and you are generating movement and some successfulness. That is worthy of your own acknowledgment, also.
TERRI: It really feels good to finally make some progress and to notice it.
ELIAS: I am understanding, and I express my congratulations to you.
TERRI: Once again, our hourís up, and it was very helpful. I look forward to talking to you again so I can share with you all of my new progress.
ELIAS: Ah, very well! I shall be anticipating of that discussion, and I am acknowledging of you. I express to you my energy of encouragement and supportiveness and my energy of gentleness, that perhaps if you become familiar with my gentleness, you may discover your own. To you in great affection, my dear friend, au revoir.
TERRI: Au revoir.
Elias departs after 1 hour, 2 minutes.
© 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.