Thursday, October 05, 2000
ďBleed-through and MemoryĒ
ďEach Moment is a ChoiceĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Lynda (Ruther).
Elias arrives at 11:31 a.m. (Arrival time is 13 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
LYNDA: Hi there! Itís me Ė Ether, Ruther, Elias, Lynda, Mony-Nony. (Elias chuckles) Yeah. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about my impressions of my week.
ELIAS: Very well.
LYNDA: I had a pretty intense time of not being able to stay in the moment in a new way for me, and I think my impression of that is, I need to slow down and trust my impressions of my connection with you, my connection in this game, and my connection in this forum.
Thatís kind of a generalization, but I feel like I have drawn to myself a lot of miscommunication and feelings of hurtfulness, and I think that the reason I have done that is because I am looking at a couple of different things.
Specifically, I guess what I want to tell you is that I want to talk about the difference between thought focused and emotionally focused people, because I think the thought focused and emotionally focused among us bounce off each other, and Mary and I just had a pretty cool discussion about it, and it made me feel a lot closer to Mary, and I thought that this could have a lot to do with another layer of stuff that weíve been talking about, and so I wanted to tell you that.
ELIAS: Very well. Proceed.
LYNDA: And I think the way it ties into ... I felt like, if I can describe this fear thing, I felt like I was extremely separated and isolated, and that I was not understood, and that I am emotionally focused, and therefore this is generally regarded as a lower ... not lower, but a less acceptable thing, and I think my personal feeling about it is that it kind of has a basis in eastern beliefs that calm is better, and you and I have been talking about emotions as a paint brush, and the allowance of a free flow of emotions, and I think Iím looking at two things here, and one is my own lack of acceptance of my natural emotional flow, and I had a pretty intense blockage of that this last week or two.
I think itís a combination of not understanding my orientation and what I do in that, and also my interaction with other thought focused people that are really close to me, like Mary and Vic are very close to me. I know we donít see each other, but I feel extremely close to these individuals, like we be buds, we be comrades in the shift, and Iím wanting to bridge the gap in myself so I can not take everything so damn personally. So, howís that so far?
ELIAS: (Chuckling) I am understanding of what you are expressing, and which direction are you proceeding with this discussion?
LYNDA: Well, I would like you to tell me if my perception of the intensity in the separation and fear, and not being able to connect with myself in the moment, is because I am ... Iím answering my own question as Iím talking to you! (Elias chuckles)
This is so funny, Elias, and this is all your fault! You called me mon cheri. If you hadnít done that, I wouldnít have faced the utter lack of acceptance of that, because that triggered such a feeling of lifting the lid on my black hole of Calcutta, and when you lift the lid on duplicity, all the other stuff and all the other reasons....
But I think the root of what Iím getting to is that itís a very unfamiliar feeling, of not feeling like I have any choices. I felt like I didnít have a choice because the feeling was so overwhelming to me, in the feeling of separation, and I think really....
And this is another thing that emotionally scattered focused people like me do Ė we donít get to the point, and thatís another thing I put myself down for, and I really want to drag myself back into not doing that, Ďcause my bottom line impression is that I just need to slow down and trust myself.
ELIAS: (Chuckling) Let me express to you that what you view objectively, or the direction in which you hold your attention, is to be focusing on the differences of expression, and in focusing your attention upon the differences of expression, you turn your attention into the identification and preoccupation of the threat.
Whereas in actuality, allowing yourself to be focusing upon the similarities of direction rather than expression, you may allow yourself to view the lack of threat, and the recognition that in actuality, you create very similarly.
This be the reason that I have discussed many times with many individuals the action of mirroring between individuals, for although it may appear to you surfacely that your expressions are different or that you may be interacting with each other differently, the underlying direction many times is very similar.
In this, the expression outwardly of an individual that may be thought focused or emotionally focused may appear differently, and each individual may be holding their attention in different expressions or aspects of communication forms, one through thought, one through emotion. But underlyingly, many, many times the individuals are projecting very similar expressions of energy, very similar beliefs, very similar issues, and directing their attention in very similar manners in relation to self and their perceptions.
In this, were you to allow yourselves to be individually identifying your motivations and your experience in particular interactions, you may also allow yourselves to view that the motivational factor of your expressions are quite similar. It is merely the form in which you project the energy that may be expressed differently, but you are very accustomed to and familiar with the viewing of expressions of each other in an objective, surface type of manner.
In this, you do not allow for the translation of one dialect to another. You are receiving the energy from another individual which is projecting within a different dialect, and you are not creating a translation. You are merely accepting that reception in the construct of your own dialect, which creates a different communication.
Surfacely, it creates a different communication. Underlyingly, it transmits the recognition, in the mirror action, of the same or very similar identifications of behaviors, of actions, of beliefs, of issues that you each are engaging.
LYNDA: Yeah, true.
ELIAS: (Chuckling) And as I have expressed to you, the perception of viewing difference creates the association of threat.
ELIAS: And therefore, as you experience this identification of threat within self, there is an automatic response to be creating a projection of energy which serves as a shield of protection, and you retreat within what you view to be the safety of this protective shield of energy. In actuality, that protective shield, so to speak, merely creates a further expression of separation and isolation ...
LYNDA: Yeah, you can say that again!
ELIAS: ... and in this, exacerbates the fear.
LYNDA: Yes. (Elias chuckles) Hey, youíre pretty good at this stuff. I think you should take it up seriously!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
LYNDA: (Laughing) I appreciate this. Iíve got a really cool Beethoven book Iíve been looking at. Can I segue into Beethoven?
ELIAS: You may.
LYNDA: Iím pursuing my Beethoven connection with you, and I found this book in the library a couple of days ago, and the book itself was written by a guy who was perceiving Beethovenís life through psychological beliefs, which are a little difficult for me to wade through. So I was once again looking for a direct Beethoven quote, and I found this really cool quote: ďTalking about evil diminishes its force and makes it ordinary.Ē And I thought, gosh, Elias is still saying the same thing.
Never mind the beliefs about good and evil, but when fear is upon me, it feels very evil and very isolating and very negative to me, and I find that the best way I know is to communicate about it, and I think thatís where I get a little bit nervous. But the communication of it definitely diminishes the force of it, because it takes it out of the realm of stickiness and into the realm of regularness.
So anyway, I just wanted to tell you that thereís a real consistent thread there between you and Ludwig that Iím honoring and everything, and itís so ironic that Iím reading a book about Beethoven, and boy, the shift is gonna redefine our terms in a really huge way, I think!
Okay, thatís that aspect. I think I have two choices of a focus we talked about in my relationship in another focus with Beethoven, and my first thought was Carl, who was a close friend and biographer, and my other thought was that it was his personal secretary, Anton. The reason I donít want it to be Anton is because ... oh anyway, my first thought is that itís Carl, and I wanted to ask you about that and get validation and proceed along with my thread, if thatís okay.
ELIAS: (Chuckling) Proceed. This is not the identification of the individual.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha!
LYNDA: Carl is not? Oh dear. Alright.
Well, so Iíve been getting a lot of betrayal imagery lately, and personal responsibility for betrayal....
ELIAS: HA HA HA!
LYNDA: Just shut up, Elias! I hate that you already know what Iím gonna say! Okay, so ... people really need to hear this tape Ďcause theyíre gonna read me saying, ďShut up, Elias,Ē and thatís NOT what Iím saying. But okay, about betrayal.
I think I betrayed you and several people in this forum, and whenever I talk to anybody, I feel like Iím totally disloyal, and that I need to ... and that Iím too high-born and aristocratic, because we are so different. So, I think what Iím uncovering in this investigation is that this guy Anton, the secretary to Beethoven, ended up, according to history, holding the information to himself, and later got money from the king of somewhere to write a book about Beethoven, and that all these years, the information has been distorted. It was sort of like a betrayal, but that didnít exactly feel right, but it could be.
The one that feels really right about this betrayal thing during the French thing is, Iím looking at a man who has no chin, a long nose, heís kind of ďgouty,Ē and heís very aristocratic. But he is also a conniver, and he draws people to himself and he makes you think heís your friend, and then he spies on you for the government and turns you in, and heís got a mistress thatís kind of not very pretty, and theyíre very much a strong, powerful couple in the time of Napoleon.
And I keep getting Olivia or Ron imagery, that this man befriended Ron Ė oh, Iím sorry, befriended Olivia Ė and was fond of her, but he betrayed her and really hurt her, and I am crazy about Ron. I donít know what it is about that guy, but I just feel this love connection with him, but I also feel weird around Ron and Vicki, because I feel like theyíre so loyal and steadfast and Iím a betrayer.
Now, I donít know these people, so I think what Iím looking at here is a pretty bigtime bleed-through, and I want to laugh about it and see if Iím on the right track.
ELIAS: I shall acknowledge and validate to you, in this impression, yes.
LYNDA: Wow! So, I will say this about this man, that heís kind of not a very charming personality, but he dresses very well and all of his clothes match, and he has very good taste in clothing and cloth, and an appreciation for the details. And of course he does Ė so do I! (Elias chuckles)
So, Iím looking at beliefs here, and I want to ask you about this. How is it, Elias, that I can interact with these people now in this time zone, and feel like Iím betraying them? Does the identification of it diminish its force?
ELIAS: In part. Let me express to you an example.
You offer the inquiry of how you may be experiencing this type of feeling, so to speak, in association with these individuals, but also recognize that this is not your experience within this now.
Allow yourself momentarily to isolate one experience within any time framework of your focus now, in this present focus, and view an experience in which you assess that you have been hurtful or disloyal to any particular individual; merely within a moment.
Subsequent to that moment Ė as influenced by your beliefs and by the intertwining belief system of duplicity Ė for extended time framework, you may continue to experience a twinge in association with that one experience, although your subsequent experiences may be quite different, and there may be interaction in a type of acceptance between yourself and the other individual.
But the memory or the knowing of that one experience, in your terms, in a manner of speaking, continues to be haunting of you, for your beliefs continue to assess and influence, in relation to your perception, that you have created a behavior or expressed in a manner that is wrong or unacceptable. Therefore, you continue to be creating the judgment upon self in relation to the choice of the behavior, and this creates the ongoing, underlying, haunting feeling, so to speak.
In this, as you begin recognizing realistically that all other focuses that you engage are also YOU and that they all occurring now, it is just a matter of turning your attention from one direction to another that identifies a particular manifestation or focus of attention. Each experience that you are creating in each other focus is occurring now, and you are participating in that.
Therefore, there may be associations in similar manner as to what we are discussing in the example, for you are allowing the beliefs that you hold presently to be influencing your perception in the now.
It matters not that an experience may be occurring within another focus, another physical location, another physical time framework, for these are the veils of separation, and in a manner of speaking, they are merely identifications of illusions. In actuality, these are all aspects of you that are creating choices and actions and behaviors and interactions in this now.
Some you allow to be entering into your field of attention, in a manner of speaking. You allow your attention to be less streamlined, and you allow that focus of attention to drift periodically, and in that drifting, you allow yourself to be turning your attention to the choices and interactions that you may be creating in other aspects of yourself.
And in the recognition that you are creating those choices and those actions in interaction with the same essences that you interact with in THIS focus of attention, there is an automatic association which moves in a familiar design. The familiar design is the identification of memory.
You quite specifically and precisely create a design of how you shall be creating movement in this physical dimension in each manifestation. You create a linear time framework. You create what you term to be a growth process, in physical terms. You create successions of experiences.
In this, you also create your identification of memory, which is an objective communication, in association with yourself, which partially penetrates the illusion of linear time; not entirely, but it is a function of communication of yourself that allows you some expressions of association with other aspects of yourself that are interactive in different moments of your linear time framework.
Now; you do not engage this function of communication of memory in the same manner in association with other focuses as you do in its function in one focus, but you do continue to engage that function of memory in a slightly altered design.
Therefore, that which we have identified or associated with the terminology of bleed-through is in actuality merely your allowance to be turning your attention momentarily and engaging this function of communication between different aspects of yourself, [which] you may define, in a manner of speaking, as memory. Memory is a type of communication which is quite influencing of your perception, for it also is filtered through your beliefs.
LYNDA: Yeah. Can I make a comment at this one point?
ELIAS: You may.
LYNDA: This is where Iím looking at patterns. You discussed this with me or told me to be wary about this a few sessions back, about looking at past experiences and automatically casting them in stone, as far as them repeating themselves in my now, and I think this ties into that because I felt like the pattern of betrayal was so cast in stone. I felt like it was cast in stone, and nobody would ever trust me again.
ELIAS: Quite, for you place a tremendous association of absoluteness in association with your experiences. Within your beliefs, experience is an absolute, and therefore, once you have created an experience, once you have engaged an experience, it is solidified. It is cast in stone. It is an absolute. It may not be undone.
What you are not viewing is that each moment within your reality is an experience and is merely a choice Ė it matters not Ė and choice is continuously altering. Choice is continuously changing. You, moment to moment, are continuously changing.
Even within the expressions that you objectively view to be ongoing and unchanging, each moment is the expression of a new choice, and therefore the incorporation of a slight alteration. You do not create your reality moment by moment as a photograph.
LYNDA: God, what a great way to say it. Itís a whole other redefining of my personal reality here.
ELIAS: What I am expressing to you, Lynda, is the recognition that each moment is a new and unique creation. It may surfacely appear to be the same, for it bears many similarities to another moment or another choice, another experience. But in actuality, each moment is not an identical reproduction of the previous moment. There is continuous movement of energy, continuous change occurring, even in those experiences that appear to be the same.
LYNDA: So the one little tiny baby action I would take, in what you are saying, is just to sort of lean into that and relax?
ELIAS: Quite, and allow yourself the genuine recognition that within each moment, every interaction that you engage with other individuals is beneficial and purposeful and is chosen, not merely by yourself, but by the other individuals also. Individuals do not participate in actions that they do not choose to be participating within!
LYNDA: Thatís a redefining of that interaction, because taking the blame or taking the responsibility or taking the credit, either/or, is quite an automatic ďgo there,Ē because we think weíre alone. We think weíre doing everything by ourselves. Do you know what I mean?
ELIAS: Quite, and that you create every other individualís reality except your own!
LYNDA: Yes, of course I do!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha!
LYNDA: You know, these are not different words than you have said before, but because of my own experience in the last ... you know, as weíve been talking, this adds a layer of understanding to me that is really helpful to me, and I appreciate it. I really appreciate you. Together at last. Itís really fun to me!
ELIAS: Very well! (Laughing)
LYNDA: Yeah, I scared myself. I thought, oh my god, the shift is shifting, and everything I put my gaze upon, I am creating, and the more intense I have the fear, the more I am creating it, and I donít want to lend energy to fear, and I spun myself out so intensely that it was really hard for me to pull myself back in and trust that the cosmos is great, and I could just relax.
ELIAS: And what have you and I discussed previously in relation to this very action that you are expressing now? What have I offered to you in suggestion, but to be allowing yourself to play the game in fun, the game of your entire participation within this manifestation in this physical reality.
All that you create is a choice of experience, and in this, you may view this not quite so seriously, and allow yourself the perception that this is a game and it is fun!
LYNDA: Fine. (Elias chuckles) I like that. Fun Ė that will be a new experience for me.
ELIAS: Ah, one which you do not afford yourself very often!
LYNDA: No, I do not. How can I? Itís all so serious.
LYNDA: And then I feel like Iím ... wait. And then I feel that if Iím not looking at these seven deadly sins or beliefs like Iíve been talking to you about, that Iím not taking my life seriously enough. If I donít delve into the psychological cloth and drama of it, Iím not taking life seriously, and then I feel like Iím a flake if I just have ... I mean, Iím telling you, weíre touching on a big banana for me, because I have a lot of rules about having fun, as you know!
ELIAS: (Chuckling) Many conditions that need be in place before there is an allowance for the activity of fun!
LYNDA: Yes, exactly. You have fun at a structured time. First you make the bed and clean the house, and THEN you go out and have fun.
ELIAS: Ah, structured fun!
LYNDA: Yes! (Laughing) Actually, that will be another topic of discussion Ė structured fun. I think Iíll just put my little beacon in place here and draw structured fun to me, because every time I go out, Iím like bored, and thatís another story. Alright. Weíll just talk about that another time, if you donít mind.
ELIAS: Very well.
LYNDA: Thank you very much, and thatís what I have to say.
ELIAS: Very well, and we shall continue, and you may allow yourself the actual creation of what you have expressed, in relaxation. Allow yourself permission to express genuinely, choices are choices, and it matters not.
LYNDA: Okie dokie. (Laughing)
ELIAS: (Chuckling) And I shall continue to be interactive with you and projecting energy to you, and in this, expressing playfulness, and perhaps you shall engage the playfulness with me!
ELIAS: Without the seriousness!
LYNDA: Yes, perhaps. (They both laugh) Okay, I will take a step in your direction.
ELIAS: Light-heartedness is a great gift that you may offer to yourself! (Chuckling)
LYNDA: Yeah. I have offered that to myself before. Itís something in my memory.
LYNDA: Yeah. Okay, Iíll do it.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha!
LYNDA: Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome. I express to you continued tremendous affection, and I shall be anticipating our next meeting.
LYNDA: Me too. Thank you.
ELIAS: To you Ė in playfulness! Ė au revoir.
LYNDA: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 12:15 p.m.
© 2000 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.