Tuesday, January 16, 2001
ďCreating a Relationship with YouĒ
ďWhat Happens When You Commit Suicide?Ē
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Carole (Aileen).
Elias arrives at 10:00 AM. (Arrival time is 18 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning, Aileen!
CAROLE: Ah, Elias!
ELIAS: Ha ha!
CAROLE: You speak over the telephone!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha!
CAROLE: This is an interesting way for me to start the day! (Elias chuckles) Okay. I have a few questions for you, some of them from other people, okay?
ELIAS: Very well.
CAROLE: Some of them are about some experiences that I had from a long time ago which I never quite totally was able to get closure on as to what was happening. Maybe Iíll start with those.
The reason I am going to start with this one is because I had this experience way back when I was in my 20s, which was a long time ago, (Elias chuckles) and I just read something about something like this in a book that Iím reading. Are you aware of the term incubus, I-N-C-U-B-U-S?
CAROLE: I had an experience like that. I was in bed with my first husband, and all of a sudden I saw ... I had just gotten into bed and he was starting to fall asleep, and I was just laying there and I saw this like white thing throwing a butterfly made out of light, or what Christians call the Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost or something like that. And this is kind of weird ... I canít believe Iím telling this to the international world! But anyway, this light thing sort of like flew down, and sort of came down where you have sex, you know, and gave me a climax, and it was really weird! (Laughing) I wasnít sure if I was pregnant or what afterwards! It like really freaked me out. So then I woke up and told my husband about it, and of course, he didnít have any answers for me. What was that, Elias?
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha! I may express to you an acknowledgment in your allowance of yourself, in relation to mass belief systems, that you express a sharing of this experience! Ha ha ha ha ha!
CAROLE: (Cracking up) Well, I may put ďanonymousĒ on this one! (They both laugh)
ELIAS: I shall express to you, what you have created in this experience is an allowance of yourself to be translating energy of different aspects of you as essence, not as one focus of attention. But as you, being essence, allowed yourself momentarily to be encompassing the expression of energy of essence, you have created an interaction, in a manner of speaking, between the volume of that energy and the one focus of attention.
Now; in this action, in this movement, recognizing that as you draw to yourself unfamiliar expressions of energy within this physical dimension, a translation is created in a manner that offers you the objective ability to create some type of objective understanding of expressions that are outside of what is known to you in this physical dimension.
For there are many expressions of consciousness that may be termed to be outside of this physical dimensional experience, but the design of participation in this physical dimension is created in a manner of singularity, to an extreme that excludes all other recognitions of expressions of other aspects of consciousness that may be viewed as outside of this dimension.
Therefore, as you draw to yourself any expressions or energies or interaction with any other expression of consciousness which is outside of this physical dimension, you automatically create a translation, in terms and actions and imagery, that is known to you and familiar to you....
CAROLE: Like because I had a climax, a sexual climax? So that was like my part of the interaction and my participatory action in this? Is that what youíre saying?
ELIAS: This is your translation. This is your insertion of the energy into an expression of objective imagery that is translated into a known design or interaction.
What you have allowed in that moment is an objective beginning and motivation for the movement into creating a relationship with self, and in that desire to be creating that movement Ė which was initiated in that time framework, although not pursued in that time framework Ė you have offered yourself an introduction to the volume and strength of your energy as essence.
This is, in objective terms, a powerful experience that you offer to yourself in objective imagery. [It] allows you a recognition that there are aspects of your energy which may create the same types of interactions with yourself, in a manner of speaking Ė as they may be translated Ė that you associate as being the types of interactions that you would engage with another individual. This allows you a recognition, in part, that it is possible to create a relationship with self.
CAROLE: Hmm. Okay, that makes sense. It was at a point where it did begin making me start to study more consistently what the world was about. It was kind of like the entranceway into that, so maybe that was a catalyst or part of that experience that was happening.
A similar thing happened about ten years later, where I saw all these stars, these lights coming in from the bedroom, and it would create a small circle, maybe about nine inches wide, of twelve stars, and then that would start to go around in a big circle, until eventually there were twelve circles of stars going around in a big circle, kinda like going around and around and around, and I was watching all this and I could hear all this activity like buzzing, and I closed my eyes and I opened them again and it was still going on, and there was just like this huge light show going on in my bedroom.
I always kinda wondered what that was too, and I think that when you have an experience like that, youíre always looking to try to figure out what it means, like what was that?
This was when I started on the beliefs of Eckankar, and I told an Eckist, another person who was a high initiate supposedly, about it, and she said, ďWow, you saw all the masters,Ē and she related it to Eckankar beliefs, and I didnít really believe that. But Iíve always wondered what that was too, you know? I couldnít really come up with a good definition for myself, other than perhaps itís similar to what you were describing with the incubus situation.
ELIAS: Partially. For in this, you allowed yourself an experience that in a manner of speaking was preparatory for your introduction to interaction with this phenomenon, and in that, you allowed yourself to be translating an expression of energy, a communication to yourself, in relation to the twelve essences which facilitate this phenomenon and this information.
CAROLE: Twelve essences?
CAROLE: Oh. I thought there were nine. No, I guess Iím wrong. (Elias chuckles) I didnít study good, did I, Elias?
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha!
CAROLE: (Laughing) Have to get my facts straight! (Elias chuckles) Okay, thatís interesting.
One more thing: Camelot. What does that have to do with me? I read a book on Camelot, and I had like dreams and incredible interactions with it, and all these wonderful realizations that Iím really, really connected with that. And I went to see a psychic once, and she kept saying, ďCamelot! Camelot! Thatís all I keep seeing all over you is Camelot!Ē And she said she could see me giving talks, and Iíve done lots of talks, and Iíve wondered ... and one time I volunteered to be hypnotized on the stage, and I went up there, and I was a little girl in a castle, and I was the daughter of whoever owned the castle, only I kind of liked to go down and eat with the servants Ďcause I enjoyed that, and the hypnotist kept breaking in when I was this little girl, and I told him to leave me alone, Ďcause I was sort of like in both places. So I know that I was in some kind of a castle, and I canít really pick up what. Can you enlighten me, oh enlightening one?
ELIAS: HA HA HA! And I may express to you, Aileen, what is your impression? You already have offered yourself much information!
CAROLE: Oh, okay. So thatís it, huh? (Laughing)
ELIAS: I may express to you that you incorporate this imagery of this particular identification in this story, so to speak, of Camelot, for it expresses many similarities to the experience that you engage within another focus.
In this, the creations and the interactions and the experiences that you engage in that particular focus are expressed, in a manner of speaking, in what you now may term to be a fairy tale type quality. In this, you participate in that focus with little incorporation of conflict, and an engagement of exploring what you now may term to be a fantasy-like quality of expression, but creating that in an actual reality in that particular focus.
CAROLE: Yeah, that makes sense, and Iíve always liked fantasy. I still like fantasy. I love to go to the movies, and just go off and be in fantasy land. When I was a kid, I read every fairy tale that was in the library.
ELIAS: (Chuckling) There is an affinity for that particular focus, and in this, there is also a freedom expressed in that particular focus, in the allowance to be creating a reality in a manner which does not incorporate what may be viewed as the hardships, so to speak, of the lifestyle, or as dictated by the time framework, in general terms. Are you understanding?
CAROLE: I see. Yeah, that rings true. Letís see. (Pause)
I feel like everything in me keeps going through this metamorphosis. Sometimes I feel like human love doesnít make any more sense to me. Sometimes I feel like, I donít know, almost like Iím not really here, and everything that goes on here starts to seem silly to me, and I canít participate in it, and I just want to withdraw from all of it. And I watch people. I read some of the sessions that people have with you, and it feels like everybody is involved in their own drama, as I am too, but sometimes my drama just seems so foreign from who I am that it makes me feel like not even a part of this world. Itís very difficult to explain what Iím trying to say, but psychologists would probably call it disassociation, which I do sometimes ... and maybe thatís still part of the fairy tale thing. See, I ask you a question and then I answer it! (Laughing, and Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: Let me also offer to you....
CAROLE: Let me ask you, who am I, Elias? (Laughing)
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha! You are you, and this is what you are genuinely moving into an exploration of.
You have presented this day questioning concerning certain experiences and associations that you have created in this focus. And in that, allow yourself to recognize, in a manner of speaking, the progression of movement within your focus and the direction that these experiences have influenced in your choice of exploration in this particular focus.
You have offered yourself in one experience an introduction to essence, and a recognition that there is more that is expressed and that is in existence, so to speak, than merely what you view within this physical dimension, which has served as an impetus to motivate you in a movement of exploration of philosophy and of other expressions of consciousness beyond what you view merely in this physical dimension.
Subsequent to that movement, you create another experience, translated into your objective reality, as we have discussed, in preparation for your introduction to this interaction with myself and the information that you shall incorporate in this interaction.
Now; within that time framework, you motivated yourself to be exploring further with different aspects of consciousness. Now Ė and for a time framework previous to this now Ė you are moving yourself into what may be termed figuratively as your individual next step, so to speak, and your choice to be turning your exploration into the genuine movement and discovery of the relationship with yourself.
In that direction, your attention to outside events or interactions becomes less important within your objective direction and imagery [than] your attention to self and the genuine exploration of self, and [the] recognition that all that may be expressed in interaction with other individuals may be expressed within you Ė and in actuality more fully within you Ė than it may be expressed outwardly with other individuals.
Your attention in this now is intently focused upon this discovery and this creation of this new depth of relationship with you; not with concepts of consciousness, not with other areas of consciousness in the manner that you have created previously, and not in interactions or relationships with other individuals.
You have expressed this day that you are experiencing a sense that the expression of love is being redefined within your association of it. The accepted definition and expression of love, as it is presented within your physical dimension, appears to you now as inconsequential or as quite limited in its expression and in how it is defined, but you have not created an actual new definition of that expression yet. You are moving in that direction in recognizing that terms within your physical reality are expressed in extreme limitation many times, and as you begin this genuine journey, so to speak, into the vastness of self and that exploration, the terms that you hold are changing. They are redefining, and that is redefining your reality. In a manner of speaking, you are redefining yourself, allowing yourself more of a genuine realization and knowing of the infinite qualities and expression of energy of you.
Now; in this type of movement, I may express to you, it is quite naturally expressed that you become fascinated with all that you are discovering within you. Therefore, all that is outside of you becomes mundane, and in a manner of speaking, temporarily appears to you to be inconsequential, for your attention is turned in a different type of exploration, and in the newness of that exploration, it holds a fascination which excludes your desire to be participatory with outside actions and interactions.
I may express to you an encouragement in this movement, and also an acknowledgment to you that this exploration may continue for a time framework, holding what you in physical terms may consider as an extended duration, but this also shall show itself to be tremendously beneficial to you. As you become intimately familiar with you, your perception shall allow for a greater expression of understanding and acceptance of the reality that you view to be outside of you, for you shall move into an understanding that there is no outside of you, that all that is created within your reality is an expression of you, and this creates the genuine knowing of the lack of separation. This is extremely significant, for this is the being in the remembrance.
Therefore, my friend, acknowledge yourself also. You are creating great movement in this time framework. Do not be expressing judgment and exasperation within yourself that you do not fit within your physical reality or that you are uninterested in the outside physical reality that you participate within. For allow yourself to be acknowledging that in this time framework, your attention is focused in a different direction, and this is quite to the point, and [is] movement in relation to the genuine expression of this shift in consciousness.
CAROLE: Well, that certainly does help me to be more comfortable in what is actually transpiring within myself and my new understandings, because sometimes it feels really lonely. It does feel like I donít fit, and sometimes Ė a lot of times Ė I feel like Iím acting so that people wonít know that I donít fit! (Laughing)
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And in a manner of speaking, at times you may be choosing this type of expression Ė what you term to be acting, so to speak Ė with other individuals, and there is no wrong in that choice.
CAROLE: That makes me feel better too, because I always ... I have a belief in being fair, and if I feel like Iím acting, somehow it feels almost like Iím not being fair to the other person.
ELIAS: (Chuckling) Let me express to you, Aileen, the other person, in your terms, is you! Therefore, what you are expressing in this ďactingĒ in expression with another individual is your statement, in a manner of speaking, that your attention is not directed to those outside aspects of you. Your attention is being focused inwardly.
Therefore, you create this expression of acting, so to speak, in a statement of, ďI am acknowledging that I create these expressions of objective imagery, that I create all that is within my environment, that I create all of these individuals in my reality, but I am not paying attention to that creation. I am allowing it to be created almost automatically, for my attention is held now in fascination with the inward expression of myself, not all that I may project outwardly in creation, but that of my being.Ē
CAROLE: Wow. Itís so obvious to me, as you speak those words, how true that is, and it does help the conflict that Iíve been feeling in how Iíve been experiencing things, and of course, as always, it makes perfect sense and it does clarify things. Thatís really, really helpful, Elias.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend.
CAROLE: I have some questions for some other people, some of these outward parts of myself! (Laughing)
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha! Very well! (Chuckling)
CAROLE: (Laughing) Because theyíre going to be waiting for the answers, these other parts of myself.
Iím going to start with my son Rick, who you know has a psychiatric evaluation of schizophrenia. These are his questions. Now, Iím not sure if youíre going to need background on what these things mean, or can I just give you his questions directly as he speaks them? Do you want background, or should I just give them to you directly?
ELIAS: You may offer directly.
CAROLE: Okay. First question: Why did Wazi and Katadaki give me wrong information and wrong direction on the inner, which destroyed my life? (14-second pause)
ELIAS: You may offer to this individual my response, in that the information is not correct or incorrect. It merely has been a communication of self. The association of the destruction of this individualís life, so to speak, is what he has created as his perception, which is genuinely reality, for all that each of you create through your perception is genuinely your reality.
Therefore, I am not discounting that he has created this type of reality, but it has not been dictated by aspects that are not of him. It has been expressed in his acceptance of communications of different aspects of himself, and an interaction of his own beliefs within this focus, and his own association with himself in this focus, as viewing himself to be a victim. This is a very strongly expressed association within this individual, and....
CAROLE: Strongly what?
ELIAS: It is a strongly expressed association within this individual, and continues to be expressed in strength, that there are outside influences that he believes dictate his reality and that he is victim to, and [he] continues to create this association, and in that creation denies himself his choices, denies himself the recognition of his own abilities to be creating choices.
I may express to you, as I have expressed to you previously, this individual aligns with the definitions and associations that are expressed in mass belief systems concerning his choice of manifestation in this particular focus, and this reinforces his association with the role of being a victim, and all of these expressions together are translated through his individual perception, which creates an actual reality in which he continues to hold himself in this expression of being a victim.
CAROLE: That makes sense too. His next question in his words is, what happens when you commit suicide?
And I know that youíve addressed to this before, but if you wouldnít mind reiterating on that, because I know heíll look at what is spoken directly to him, whereas he wonít look back at the other transcripts. He still has this belief that heíll come back as a conjoined twin if he commits suicide, and I think thatís just his way of making himself not commit suicide. He also has this belief that I have to come back as his mother, and I have expressed to him that you have told both of us that we are both final focuses. I donít go into the simultaneous time thing because I try to alleviate his anxiety. But anyway, his question is, what happens when you commit suicide?
ELIAS: I may express that this is quite dependent upon the individual, for it is an individual expression and choice, and there is a definite involvement of the individualís beliefs that are incorporated in this type of choice.
In this situation, addressing directly to this individual and his curiosity as to what may occur if he is choosing to be engaging this action of suicide, I may express that the challenges and what he perceives to be difficulties that he engages within this physical focus now may be expressed in different imagery, but they shall not be eliminated or merely disappear, in your terms, through the engagement of this action.
He may choose to be disengaging physical focus, and I may express to him that this is merely a choice. It matters not.
But the beliefs and the strength of the objective perception of this individual in this particular focus shall not automatically be eliminated or altered into an expression of comfort and bliss merely in the action of, figuratively speaking, moving himself into another country. For the movement into the expression of death and into nonphysical areas of consciousness may be expressed quite similarly as movement into a physical difference of location of country within your physical dimension. He is merely altering his creation of environment, but he continues to engage himself in that environment.
I may express to you that the objective awareness does not automatically and immediately disengage merely in the action of disengaging physical focus. This is an aspect of the movement of transition, to be shedding beliefs that are associated with this physical dimension and shedding the objective awareness that is associated with this physical dimension, but that action is not an immediate expression within transition, and I may express to you, many individuals do not move themselves into the actual action of transition non-physically immediately either.
In recognition of this particular individualís energy and expression and beliefs and challenges that he is creating in this now, I may express quite genuinely, were he to be disengaging this day, his objective imagery in nonphysical expression would appear as physical as it appears now. The objective expression and reality would be created in such similarity to what is being expressed now in physical focus that he, as an individual, temporarily may not even distinguish the subtle differences, to the point that he may choose to allow a fuller expression of his beliefs, and allowing them an expression in actual physical manifestation in an objective manner.
For in actuality, he would not be participating in your actual physical dimension, but make no misunderstanding in this. As an individual continues to engage their objective awareness, their projection of imagery appears to them as equally solid and objectively real, in physical terms, as it would were they to be continuing within physical dimensions.
In this, the difference is that there is an allowance for the beliefs also, in the construct of the design of the individualís thought processes, [which] may be created in fullness in physical expression.
Therefore, there is tremendous potential for this individual, were he to be disengaging in this now, to experience for what you term to be a time framework an association of creating physical imagery, as though, in your terms, he were continuing to be participating in this physical dimension, and a tremendous potential for an eventual movement into an allowance of an expression to be formed, in physical imagery, of this fear that he shall manifest Ė or remanifest, in his terms Ė as conjoined physical twins. Although he shall not in actuality be remanifesting in this physical dimension, he may be creating that type of objective imagery in such preciseness that it may appear to him to be the expression of participation in this physical reality. Are you understanding?
CAROLE: Yes, I am. I am understanding.
ELIAS: Therefore, I may express to you quite literally, what occurs in an individualís choice to be creating this action of suicide is quite dependent upon the individual and their beliefs and their expression of reality, and what they engage in their perception in that time framework within physical reality. For the choice of suicide is merely a choice to be altering the environment of consciousness, but it is not an expression that alters the individual or the expression of their reality in association with their beliefs.
CAROLE: If I shared that information or he read that information, of what youíve just expressed, would that be beneficial to him, or would that make him even more fearful? (14-second pause)
ELIAS: It is dependent upon his choice in his allowance of acceptance of the offering of this information, and I may express to you within this now, the expression of this individual is not created in what you would term to be a following of a direction, so to speak. He is following a direction, but the choice of his direction is an expression very much in the now. Therefore, from moment to moment within your linear time framework, his direction is to be responsive to what is most strongly being expressed within him in that moment.
Now; let me express to you, in this, he may be incorporating one understanding of this information in one moment, and he may alter that understanding or association with it within another moment. Are you understanding?
CAROLE: I see. So heíll vacillate. Is the new medicine he has just started on now ... I know this sounds like crystal ball stuff, but if you have any information, because of the pain that all this causes, I would appreciate it. Is the new medicine he is starting on going to help him?
ELIAS: Interesting terminology. Shall it be helpful to him? No. Shall it be allowed to be altering of some of what he chooses to be creating? Partially, for there is an incorporation of his own beliefs in association with this. But I shall also express to you, his beliefs presently are influencing his creations in association with this medication, which may appear to you to not be objectively beneficial.
CAROLE: Yeah, thatís usually what I come to in my understanding of the situation, but itís painful to watch this, and I never know what, if anything, I can do to help, Ďcause it really feels like nothing I do helps. I understand that itís his reality and that he is creating it, and that Iím also creating my situation of being in participation with it, and also that what heís creating is also myself. But thatís the part of this reality that gets so confusing and difficult. Itís easy to think about other realities where thereís not these physical complications and complexities. But when youíre here, itís in your face, so to speak. (Laughing, and Elias chuckles)
Weíre just about at the end of our time. Iíll give you Rickís last question, and then if I have time, two people want to know if theyíre final focuses. His last question is, will Gary retaliate? We donít have a lot of time left; a few minutes, actually.
ELIAS: I shall direct the challenge to him to express what his impression is and to be noticing what his impression is. This is a challenge, for this individual does not always allow himself to recognize objectively what his impressions are or that he holds impressions.
CAROLE: ĎCause heís so steeped in the beliefs.
ELIAS: Yes. Therefore, the challenge shall be that he may allow himself to listen within himself and discover Ė or in your physical terms ďfindĒ Ė his impression.
CAROLE: Okay, I will deliver that information. (Elias chuckles) Now, for two people on the Elias list who want to know if they are final focuses....
ELIAS: And my expression shall be the same. You may offer to them to express, what is their impression? For you all hold an objective knowing of the answer to this question.
CAROLE: Ah, okay. Thatís true. I knew that I was a final focus before you told me, and Iím sure that a lot of people do.
ELIAS: Each of you do. This, in your physical terms, is a very simple and easy question for you to be answering, for you incorporate a knowing of your position, so to speak, in any particular focus, and the designation of a final focus or a beginning focus is quite clear, and in this, you each hold a knowing of the answer to this question. Therefore, I direct to the individuals to express their impression.
CAROLE: Okay. I donít have time for my husbandís question here, because itís been an hour. So I guess we can say au revoir!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha! Very well! I anticipate our next meeting and offer to you encouragement in your movement, and affection, and a genuine expression Ė in my terms, not in your terms Ė of compassion to your challenge that you express in your creation of your relationship with this one individual.
CAROLE: Your compassion means a lot to me, Elias. Thank you for expressing that. It does help. It warms a little spot in my heart, and I love you.
ELIAS: And I express tremendous affection to you also. To you in encouragement this day, Aileen, au revoir.
CAROLE: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 11:05 AM.
© 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.