Saturday, February 24, 2001
“Fear in How Other Individuals Perceive You”
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Steve (Steffano).
Elias arrives at 2:21 PM. (Arrival time is 33 seconds.)
(Elias has an exceptionally warm manner throughout this entire session, and he smiles and leans forward toward Steve quite often.)
ELIAS: Good afternoon. (Smiling)
STEVE: Good afternoon, Elias!
ELIAS: Ah, we meet objectively in physical proximity!
STEVE: Yes, I’ve been looking forward to this! I wanted to express my appreciation for the information that you provided in our last meeting. I found it to be very helpful in my movement, and have been able to acknowledge myself quite a bit because I feel that in the time since that meeting I have experienced a lot of movement in my exploration, so thank you!
ELIAS: You are quite welcome!
STEVE: One of the big issues that I’m facing right now that I wanted to focus on in this session has to do with my relationship to my partner and to my explorations in this information and in consciousness, because I feel a conflict there.
I have a lot of fears relating to her lack of acceptance of some of this; for example, this particular forum and this particular type of exchange that we are participating in right now. I guess I just feel that she may not understand, and I realize that there are issues with my beliefs, my lack of acceptance of myself, my judgments of myself that are involved in this problem, as I might characterize it. I wanted to see if you might be able to help me in examining those beliefs and looking at my options, my choices, what opportunities I might have in the movement that I’m pursuing.
ELIAS: Very well! We may engage a discussion together in exploration of this situation, and therefore we may identify some actions that you may be incorporating that may be beneficial to you.
In this, offer to myself a hypothetical example, so to speak, in which you may view yourself to be engaging conflict in relation to your partner, a simple example.
STEVE: Well, the one that comes to mind – I don’t know if this is simple or not – but it’s a little story that I guess illustrates it. Some years ago, I was doing an exercise in meditation in which you were either to work with a partner, in which you described the images that you saw in a relaxed meditative state, or you used a tape recorder and you did this by yourself.
I was at work late one night, and I had to stay the night there. I used the tape recorder at work and went through this exercise, and had some fairly intense feelings, experiences, which I described on the tape, including a sensation of intense pleasure that I described as being similar to sexual feelings – and then I ended up using that tape in my work, in which I dictate reports and then secretaries transcribe them. Apparently I did not erase the whole thing, and part of what I had said was discovered by one of the secretaries who went to one of my superiors, who then issued a memo stating that this had occurred, claiming that they did not know who it was and that they were not going to try to find out, but warning that one’s career could be jeopardized for this type of activity, and in fact characterized what was found on the tape as being perverse.
I was very fearful, not so much of my career, but of my family if something came to light and I was painted in a very negative way. So I told my wife about it, and she was very upset, as I was. I felt ... well, I think she did ask me at the time, “Why were you doing this?” What was very clear to me, and what’s very clear to me right now – and why I’m here talking to you – is that I am interested in giving myself more information that helps me in the movement that I’m seeking, and that any forum that provides that information efficiently to me is one that I want to explore and see if it works. Unfortunately, through a lack of care in that prior instance, it potentially caused embarrassment to myself and to her. So, that’s it.
ELIAS: Very well. In this example that you have offered, you may be recognizing that it is not merely a concern that you hold in relation to your partner, but in relation to other individuals also. Therefore, the issue, so to speak, that you have identified within yourself is a fear in relation to how other individuals perceive you.
ELIAS: And this is emphasized in your relationship with your partner, for you value the perception or the opinion of your partner; and in valuing the opinion and perception of your partner, you also create an association in relation to your own worth, in which if other individuals view you as worthy, you allow yourself to view yourself as worthy, or holding worth.
Now; I am understanding of your concern and your fear in this movement that you are creating, and your choice to be interactive with an essence such as myself or a phenomenon as expressed in this forum. (Smiling) I am understanding of belief systems concerning this type of interaction. I am also understanding of your expression of how this type of movement is viewed within your profession, so to speak, although there is movement in that profession also, which is occurring in relation to this shift in consciousness. (1)
Let us focus the attention upon you, for in actuality this shall be the greatest affectingness that you may express in relation to other individuals.
In these situations, you are attempting to be exploring self, and you are also attempting to be exploring your reality in relation to consciousness. But you also are directing your attention outside of yourself, and in that direction of attention, you are allowing the dictates of other individuals or perceived situations to express to you your choices, and therefore you experience conflict.
Now; the type of exploration that you wish to be engaging, in a manner of speaking, is inconsistent with directing your attention outside of yourself.
In this, let me express to you, in genuine movement in holding your attention upon self, an automatic by-product of this action is a greater capacity for understanding and acceptance of other individuals, which draws to you an acceptance also. For what you project, you shall also create in reflection to yourself. This is not karma; this is not cause and effect. This is a natural movement of the design of this physical dimension. For what you engage in what you view as outside interactions is in actuality your perception of them. You are creating every expression and every moment of all of your reality, even the other individuals that you interact with.
Therefore, you create precisely what you expect, and you expect what is expressed through your beliefs and your associations concerning yourself. Your associations concerning yourself are influenced by your beliefs, and your beliefs are intertwined with every aspect of your reality.
Now; as I have expressed previously, the point is not to be changing your beliefs, but to be accepting those beliefs and therefore neutralizing the aspects of them; that you are not automatically responding to your beliefs, therefore allowing your beliefs to dictate to you your reality, but rather that you allow yourself the recognition of your beliefs and acceptance of them, and therefore offer yourself choice.
In this, as you recognize the nature of your fear and the influence of your beliefs, you may also begin to view how you create the perception which creates all of your physical reality. Your perception is a type of mechanism within you that actually creates your physical reality. It is the mechanism that projects the imagery that becomes all of your physical reality and all that is contained within it. Therefore, recognizing how you are directing your perception holds great significance.
In this, I may express to you quite definitely, if you are projecting your attention to another individual, anticipating that the other individual shall respond to you in a particular manner, one that you express conflict with, you are in actuality projecting futurely and robbing yourself of the now.
And in that thievery of the now, you are not paying attention to what you are creating, and therefore you create precisely what you expect. You expect conflict, you expect suspicion, a lack of acceptance, and this is what you shall create, for the expression is motivated from within you.
I may express to you genuinely, it matters not what other individuals choose; for in relation to you, they shall express in reflection of you. Therefore it matters what YOU are expressing, and the manner in which you identify what you are expressing is to allow yourself to be aware within each moment in the now – not in anticipation of the future, and not in judgment of the past – but within the now what you are communicating to yourself, what you are projecting in energy, and what is your motivation and the nature of your expectation.
In this, as you allow yourself to become familiar with your own communication within yourself, you may much more efficiently and precisely identify what you are creating in the now, for what you are creating in the now shall be reflected to you in objective imagery, be it within a situation, a circumstance, another individual, even objects. You always reflect to yourself what you are actually creating in the moment within yourself. One of your most efficient avenues of communication to yourself is your emotions.
Many individuals within this physical dimension – especially through the incorporation of your new science of psychology – attempt to override their emotional communication through their thoughts. (A telephone begins ringing in the background.) You identify the signal, partially, and once the signal has been identified, you distract yourselves in creating thought processes to be removing the emotional communication; and one of the reasons that you create this type of action is that you define emotion incorrectly. You define emotion as a reaction, a response to an event. Emotion is never a reaction. Emotion is always a communication. The signal is the feeling.
(Smiling) And I may express to you, in this moment, that you have provided apropos imagery in this exchange, as the example that I have offered previously concerning this communication of emotion. I have likened it to the telephone ringing, which you have provided presently. And in this, the signal is the ringing!
Once you receive this signal by paying attention, you also recognize that as you respond to the signal, you are delivered a message. If you are not responding to the signal, it continues to ring, and you do not receive the message.
Contained within each emotion is a message; it is a communication. Your subjective awareness offers this avenue of communication to your objective awareness, that no element of your reality shall be hidden from you. Therefore, there is no subconscious.
Now; what you have created is a mis-definition of emotion, and an attempt to be directing thoughts in a manner which they are not designed to be incorporated for. Thought is a construct of translation. It allows you objectively to be translating all of your communications that you offer to yourself, therefore identifying what you are creating in every moment of your reality. Thought itself is not a communication; it is not an avenue of communication. It is a translating mechanism.
All of your outer senses, all of your inner senses, your impressions, your impulses, your body consciousness and your emotions all incorporate an avenue of communication to you, offering you precise identifications of what you are creating every moment of your reality. You also offer yourself another avenue of communication through reflection.
The one individual, as I have stated, in this reality that you know least is yourself. All other individuals within your reality are familiar to you, but you also very efficiently create a marvelous expression of reality in this dimension, which is extremely efficient in allowing you to know you through the reflection of all of your reality, and much of this is expressed through other individuals.
If you are experiencing conflict within a moment in which you are interactive with another individual, it is not the other individual that is creating this conflict within you. It is your own expression, and they are reflecting to you what you are creating.
Therefore, if the nature of your concern is that your partner shall not be accepting of your exploration and your expression in this direction, what you may examine is your fear of yourself and your own lack of acceptance of yourself. For I may express to you quite genuinely, as you accept what you choose, as you offer yourself permission to choose and to create within your reality and you do not question or doubt that movement, neither shall those around you for they shall view your acceptance of self and the lack of questioning within you, and they also shall not be questioning of you.
STEVE: So in this moment, this now, I can accept my creation of this avenue for my exploration or my desire to move in this direction, and as I move more fully into that acceptance of myself, then I won’t create the conflict with my spouse?
Now; key expressions of this action is to be paying attention to you, and not concerning yourself with the other individual – acceptance of yourself and permission within yourself to create your choices without limitation. And as you move out of the expression of your own doubt and fear, you also, in a manner of speaking, inspire a trust within the other individual.
I may express to you, I am understanding that within your physical focus these are difficult concepts. But as you interact with your partner, there are two of your partner presented to you. One is the individual that you directly interact with, and that individual is a projection of your perception; therefore, you create her. The other you indirectly interact with; that is the actual other focus, the other individual.
The indirect interaction is the actual expression of the other individual which is projected outwardly, and you receive that energy and translate it and transform it into the expression of the individual that is created by your perception. Therefore, what you create in response of the other individual may not entirely be what the other individual is creating, for it is your translation. It shall be precisely what you expect that it shall be, and what you anticipate and what you concentrate upon.
I may express to you, you may interact with your partner. You may express to your partner, “I have engaged an interaction with Elias.”
Your partner – in actuality, the other focus, the other individual – may express hypothetically an exchange to you: “Ah! And what was the nature of your interaction with this entity?” But incorporating your doubts and your anticipation and fear in that interaction, what you shall perceive is skepticism, suspicion, a projection of judgment; and you shall express defense. (Smiles)
Now; this is the nature of a simple example, and in this, you may view that you have created that expression. In allowing yourself to trust your movement, your want for your exploration, you project an energy of acceptance.
Now; this is significant also, for in not projecting an energy of acceptance of yourself, you also project a lack of acceptance to the other individual, which is received and recognized, and the other individual also creates the perception and response of defense, which creates barriers.
The expression of a lack of acceptance of yourself and your movement is to be turning your attention to the other individual, and attempting to be sharing this information with the other individual for it is “good” for their understanding, and this communication is “necessary” that they shall know you and understand your direction of attention.
The other individual already knows you. They need no convincing. You are expressing this to yourself. The other individual needs not be in agreement in philosophy, and this does not necessarily create conflict. The other individual needs no conversion.
And as you express to yourself permission to be creating what you want and paying attention to you, you automatically eliminate the judgment that you project upon the other individual, and you also eliminate the expectations.
STEVE: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend.
STEVE: That does give me a whole new way of looking at it. I knew there was an opportunity in there for me, but I wasn’t allowing myself to see it yet, and I was looking forward to hearing what you have to say.
I think this is a related issue, but I wonder about my draw to what we characterize as chemicals that alter consciousness, for example alcohol or back in my wilder college days when I experimented with other chemicals. I have very mixed feelings about that. I had a lot of feelings of pleasure during my experimentation with those chemicals, and yet I had very strong beliefs within myself, and then also mass belief systems, that were quite judgmental. It seems to complicate now whether I go home tonight by myself and have two or three beers or whether I say, “No, I should not drink alone. This is not the right thing to do.” I just wonder if maybe ... does that question make any sense, or do I need to clarify more?
ELIAS: I am understanding of what you are expressing. These ARE very strongly expressed mass belief systems in your society – not in all societies. They are quite definitely not absolutes. They are beliefs.
I may express to you, essence – which is what you are – naturally pursues pleasure.
Within many societies in your physical dimension, there have been created many aspects of beliefs that express that many forms of pleasure are unacceptable or bad, and therefore if you are engaging in these types of actions, you also as an individual are unacceptable. This is quite strongly reinforced within your society in particular. This western culture holds many mass beliefs concerning the right and wrong and acceptability of many different types of behaviors. I may express to you quite genuinely, it matters not. You may be engaging any type of activity and it is not wrong; it is merely a choice.
Now; I may also express to you that the beliefs ARE strongly held, as I have stated. Therefore, you also do associate with some of these beliefs.
I may express to you also, in actuality any of these substances in themselves are neutral. The substances themselves, be they natural in your terms or synthetic – it matters not – in themselves and their innate qualities, they are neutral. It is your beliefs and your expectations that create the effects that you experience, and even THAT is not an absolute, for you may be creating strong associations concerning specific affectingnesses of certain substances, and in some moments, in some experiences, you shall neutralize those affectingnesses and not experience them.
Generally speaking, you do not create this action unless you are offering yourself a “rational explanation” as to why you are not experiencing the affectingness; you may attribute this to your chemical reactions within your physical body, adrenaline and its neutralization of certain chemical reactions within your physical body. In actuality, this is not the situation at all.
You create the affectingness in relation to what you believe, and it matters not. You shall create a dis-eased liver in relation to fermentation of beverages, if you believe that this is an unhealthy practice; you may be incorporating what you term to be large quantities of consumption of alcohol, and incorporate NO physical affectingness in negative terms. It is ENTIRELY influenced by your beliefs. You may be incorporating substances that, within your time framework, individuals term to be drugs. It matters not! They shall be affecting in the manner that you expect them to be affecting in relation to your beliefs.
Now; if you are incorporating strongly held beliefs that suggest to you that you shall acquire a dis-ease if you are incorporating these substances, my suggestion would be that you do not incorporate the substances unless you are neutralizing your beliefs. (Smiling) But as to the actual nature of substances, as I have stated, they are neutral within themselves.
As to your associations of incorporating an action of consumption of alcohol singularly, in this now shall we not be humored by this statement? For how ludicrous is this, that you shall place a judgment upon yourself as to the atmosphere in which you shall allow yourself to be engaging this action or not? (Chuckling and Steve laughs) It matters not if you are incorporating the action singularly or in the company of other individuals. It is your choice!
STEVE: But our belief systems make it different, as long as we are not accepting.
ELIAS: Ah, and this is the expression of your psychology, is it not? (Humorously) Are you experiencing a deep disturbance within your psychological makeup, and therefore experiencing the need to be consuming of this substance to be comforting of yourself?
Or do you find it pleasurable to engage this activity and appreciate the type of affectingness that you create? (Chuckles)
STEVE: Well, actually, that did ... I wanted to ask a question about that, that if my reason is because I enjoy the feeling, the pleasurable feeling, since the affectingness of the substance is based on my beliefs, shouldn’t I be able to experience the same type of pleasurable feelings without incorporating the substance?
ELIAS: And you may – and there are individuals that do! It is merely a choice. It’s a prop; it matters not. Individuals incorporate props. They incorporate focal points to allow themselves to direct their attention in specific manners to be achieving specific effects.
The prop itself is neutral; it matters not. It is not a reflection upon you in worth, or in right or wrong or good or bad, that you choose to be incorporating a prop or not. The individual that creates that type of affectingness without the prop is not “better” than the individual that does incorporate the prop.
The individual that seeks out a physician to be altering a physical creation that they have created within their physical body consciousness is not “worse” or “less enlightened” than the individual that chooses to be altering of their physical expression without the incorporation of the physician. It is merely differences in the expressions of their beliefs, and what they choose to be creating objectively. One is not better or worse than the other.
STEVE: Thank you again!
ELIAS: You are very welcome!
STEVE: I think that covered the issues that I had wanted to address, and again, as at our last session, we have a few minutes left and once again I would like to ask if there’s anything in particular or in general that you think would be helpful for me to hear?
ELIAS: In this present now, I offer to you a suggestion that you allow yourself to relax your energy and to be playful. Offer yourself an expression of fun, and move yourself temporarily from this seriousness that you incorporate for much of your time framework. (Smiles)
You may discover within yourself more of an ease in paying attention to yourself and in trusting yourself as you allow yourself to be humorous and incorporating fun. Allow yourself to be creating choices of pleasure without judgment. Experiment! (Chuckles)
STEVE: Well, thank you. I think that’s what I wanted to hear today, and I thank you very much for your helpfulness.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. I express tremendous affection to you, great lovingness and encouragement, for I view that you are allowing yourself the movement that you desire. Were you not, you would not be engaged in conversation with myself. (Smiles) Therefore, offer to yourself also acknowledgment, as do I.
I anticipate our next meeting, in which perhaps we may engage more of an expression of playfulness. In the interim, I shall be helpful to you in projecting a playful energy to you! (Chucking)
STEVE: I could use that! (Laughing)
ELIAS: HA HA! And I am quite efficient at playfulness! (Steve laughs again) HA HA HA!
STEVE: So I hear!
ELIAS: Ha ha! Great affection to you, my friend. In this day, I bid you au revoir.
STEVE: Au revoir, Elias.
Elias departs at 3:17 PM.
(1) Steve is a physician.
© 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.