Monday, October 08, 2001
ďRelationships Are a Reflection of YouĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille).
Elias arrives at 1:24 PM. (Arrival time is 26 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning, Castille!
LETTY: Good morning, Elias! (Elias chuckles) Good day, too!
ELIAS: And how shall we proceed?
LETTY: Well, weíre going to proceed by going through my personal ... Iím hoping itís more opening up to my awareness. But I need some help in deciphering some doubts I have.
ELIAS: Very well.
LETTY: I understand how like attracts like, and on a more subjective self versus objective, sometimes what I think is not exactly what Iím really seeing, what Iím really creating; so my impression and intuition sometimes does get confused with what I think, so Iím still working on that.
I know itís just a choice of what we decide to create or not create, but Iím still having a little bit of a problem in trying to pay attention to myself and that communication. I have an example to see if this could clear it. I may have some result, but in my last couple of sessions youíve been talking about how I am really reflecting my own creation, my own thinking in the interaction with Leezar.
So here I am, and Iím still doing it with my mind and my belief systems of wanting to hold on, and knowing intuitionally Ė even though itís not absolute Ė that itís not happening right now. But why would I reflect to myself and find out, for example, that heís dating somebody else? I guess because Iím having a hard time still understanding the choices in identifying my genuine desires and wants?
ELIAS: Correct, and what are you identifying in the genuine desire and want?
LETTY: Well, I believe that I do. Iím working on relationship belief systems and trying to accept them that they do exist, and I know sometimes I try to knock them down and make them disappear instead of accepting them. But the point to me is I feel that I do want a partner, for example, and maybe thatís why Iím fighting the fact that I want to hold on to Leezar, because I did enjoy that partnership and that relationship. Yet I know that I donít want a long-distance one; I want something more, I want something different. So I do try to see that I do have many choices. But sometimes I feel that I block those choices because of my belief systems of living in a city, that itís hard to meet people, and itís difficult because Iím not a person that likes to go out a lot. I am going to meet somebody, but right now my desire is to share my life with somebody.
ELIAS: Correct, but you are also presenting to yourself the opportunity to examine your genuine want in relation to this particular specific individual, and your want in regard to a relationship with another individual, and how you want to be creating that. You are offering yourself a time framework in which you may genuinely turn your attention to self and recognize what you want in the design of a particular type of relationship and what you want to create Ė not what you seek in another individual, but how you want to create a relationship.
Therefore, you have offered yourself experiences in comfort and a lack of comfort, in pleasure and a lack of pleasure, in ease and in conflict in the relationship that you have engaged with Leezar, to offer yourself information concerning you and what you want and what YOU may create Ė not what another individual wants, not what another individual chooses Ė but what YOU choose.
Let me express to you, if you simply define to yourself ďI want to generate a relationship with another individual in a partnership that shall be long enduring, so to speak,Ē what information are you offering to yourself? You are merely identifying a general and quite vague want.
That expression ďI want a relationship in partnership in a romantic expression with another individualĒ is in actuality open to many interpretations. It allows a vast field of translations within thought, for you are expressing a general concept but not identifying the specific direction of that want. What is the nature of that want? What do YOU want to express in this relationship? What do YOU want to create within this hypothetical general relationship, not what you want from another individual.
Quite simply, within the expressions of your definitions and your beliefs, let us say hypothetically that you may be expressing to yourself ďI want to create a romantic partnership with another individualĒ Ė general statement. And, hypothetically, I may pose the question to you, what type of relationship are you wanting to be creating? What is the expression that you want in this relationship? And, hypothetically, you may respond to myself and express, ďI want the other individual to share like expression of spirituality with myself. I want the other individual to love me. I want the other individual to appreciate me.Ē And I may express to you, Castille, these are quite common expressions, for these are what you identify in the familiar expressions in association with your beliefs.
LETTY: Very familiar!
ELIAS: Now; in these statements, what I am expressing to you is the reverse. Not what you want as an expression of the other individual, but what do you want to generate in the relationship? I may express to you Ė not quite so hypothetically, in relation to yourself Ė the identification that you want to be allowing yourself the freedom to express your exploration of spirituality, so to speak, in the manner that you choose without challenge.
You want to express freely affection and appreciation of yourself and of the other individual without expectation and without limitation. You want to express your freedom of movement within your choices, without presenting expectations upon yourself in relation to how you should or must behave or interact with another individual based on your assumption of what THEIR expectation is.
Therefore, what I am expressing to you is that within this time framework you have offered yourself enough objective imagery in association with a relationship to now offer yourself a time framework in which you may genuinely turn your attention to self and evaluate and recognize what you want within self in association with a partnership, those freedoms that you have not afforded yourself previously, for your attention has been projected to the other individual and what you think you want from them.
LETTY: Oh, Elias, this makes so much sense! I understand how all my surroundings, all my creations are expressions of me Ė my home, my car, my work, my money flow Ė because I guess I think these things donít have a heart with a creation of their own.
LETTY: Wow. Thank you!
ELIAS: But you look to other individuals and you view them as not your creation and not your reflection.
LETTY: Thatís what I was having some difficulty with.
ELIAS: In actuality, if you are choosing to be moving beyond the automatic response in relation to your beliefs, you may incorporate the information concerning Leezarís choice presently to be engaging another individual, and as you turn your attention to yourself and you question yourself ďwhat am I creating in this imagery, for I am creating this action,Ē this offers you the opportunity to view that in actuality you have provided yourself with a distraction, for YOU are not genuinely expressing the want to continue in this relationship.
LETTY: Yes, I recognize that! Okay.
ELIAS: Therefore, it matters not that Leezar offers himself a choice of distraction, in your perception. YOU have created the distraction.
LETTY: Iím beginning to understand what my path was in these relationships, that I continue having them because I still havenít been putting the attention on myself when it comes to these relationships.
ELIAS: Correct! And in this particular imagery, you offer yourself an objective excuse, so to speak, which is justifiable in association with your beliefs to be altering your direction.
LETTY: Yes. Oh, I think Iím going to sleep tonight, Elias! (Elias chuckles) I have been trying to understand that, and I pulled up an old transcript where you talk about part of this. In thinking about all this and my belief systems, Iím trying to quote/unquote alter my perception of relationships. I think what I hadnít picked up is that to do that I need to accept these belief systems that Iíve had.
ELIAS: Correct. This is the point, Castille: not to be changing the beliefs, not to be removing the beliefs, but to be recognizing their expression, accepting, in your terms, their existence, and allowing yourself to pay attention to your own communications and offer yourself a choice.
LETTY: In that case, I need to allow myself to choose paying attention to my genuine wants of myself, not the genuine wants of another person towards me.
ELIAS: Correct, in which you shall thusly allow yourself to generate the energy to manifest that.
LETTY: Right. ĎCause I knew I wasnít generating that energy, and thatís why. I was putting the attention on the wrong part.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, Castille, you are not placing the energy upon the ďwrong part.Ē You are purposefully offering yourself objective imagery to allow yourself the opportunity to genuinely discover your want.
LETTY: In relation to this, I had a question because I continue to create spiders around me. There was a big, huge spider right outside my wall, my window. I mean it looked fierce, like it could do some serious damage. Yet at the same time I recognized what the imagery really meant to me, which was a big belief system that Iím trying to work at. Is that what Iím trying to do? It disappeared.
ELIAS: Correct; you are correct. And recognize in your association, this imagery offers to you a clear identification of threat and harmfulness, and this is associated with how you view your beliefs.
This is significant, for this is the reason that you continue to attempt to eliminate them or to change them. If you perceive some element of your reality to be threatening or potentially hurtful, what is your response?
LETTY: You want to kill it...
LETTY: ...before it hurts you, quote/unquote.
LETTY: Now, there was another little spider that came in the other evening and it crawled up the wall to the ceiling, and I realized that I needed to accept it, to let it be. And then it disappeared.
ELIAS: Quite, and has expressed no threat and no hurtfulness, and you also were not expressing the movement of removing yourself. For generally speaking, as individuals perceive threat or potential harmfulness, the two expressions that are most commonly engaged are to attempt to eliminate the threat or to change the situation by removing yourself, which are the automatic responses and the familiar: change or elimination. The unfamiliar is the recognition that the expression of threat is perceived. It is what you have created, not necessarily what that energy is expressing in itself.
LETTY: Yes, I believe I have moved myself quite a bit toward the acceptance of the spiders in my house. (Elias laughs) Itís kind of like a validation to myself, right?
LETTY: Oh, in regards to all this, the understanding and trying to pay attention to self, I often have the vision and canít seem to move beyond this imagery in my mind of Althea, one of my future time framework focuses, that sheís out there in a spaceship, a space station. She works there. But I always see her looking out a window, out into space, because thatís all there is, the stars. Iíve tried to have contact Ė I donít know the right word Ė but, you know, feel her. Am I feeling her energy? Is she aware that sheís passing energy into other focuses, like this one for me?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.
LETTY: Not objectively, maybe.
ELIAS: Partially objectively, yes; not specifically in the manner that you associate with, for you associate in terms of her being aware of you as a separate individual or other focuses as other individuals. There is an objective awareness, but as all aspects of self.
LETTY: Sometimes it seems to be a little bit stronger than at other times.
I wanted to ask you about the emotion of depression. Thereís moments I feel like, quote/unquote, maybe a little depressed, but maybe because Iíve been with people or have contacts or the imagery has come to my awareness of many people being depressed. I never asked you even while I was with Leezar, but I think he went through what I thought was depression.
ELIAS: And what is your impression concerning this term?
LETTY: Well, depression to me, I relate to feeling like a victim.
LETTY: So ... oh, okay. I just answered my question. I had never put it that way. So, people that are depressed feel like victims and they feel helpless.
ELIAS: Yes, and what is the reason that they are experiencing this helplessness?
LETTY: Because theyíre not paying attention to themselves. They see it outside or how it affects them, not that itís part of them.
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, for the expression of it is communicating to you that you are allowing yourself in the moment to be oppressed or depressed by what you perceive to be outside of yourself, and not allowing yourself the recognition that all that is being created outside of yourself is being created by you.
Therefore, what is being communicated is that, within that moment, you are creating an experience of perceived control; not that you are controlling yourself, but that some expression outside of yourself is controlling you and therefore depressing you, denying your choices within self, and expressing that you do not hold the ability to independently express your choices, in a manner of speaking.
In this, the signal of depression is quite distinctive, for it quite clearly involves motivation. The communication of this emotion is also associated with motivation, for you depress your motivation inwardly as you create this association that you are being controlled. Are you understanding?
ELIAS: The helplessness that you identify is the expression of the being controlled, and in this, you depress your motivation to choose.
LETTY: Kind of like giving up.
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.
LETTY: I want to ask you ... or maybe itís these allergies. Lately Iíve been trying to pay attention to when I get these allergy symptoms, when I get very stuffy and I sneeze, and itís very uncomfortable. The last couple of times I kind of notice that itís after maybe Iíve had a conversation or thoughts with myself. Is it when Iím trying to express myself contrary to my intent, trying to convince sometimes people of my way of thought, or...?
ELIAS: Not necessarily contrary to your intent but in what you may term to be the midst of conflict within self, struggle within self, within what you are actually choosing and what you think you should be choosing.
This, once again, is the conflict or the struggle between what you think you want and your direction. Therefore, it is not necessarily moving contrary to your intent, for your choices do move in relation to your intent in any direction of it within the moment, but your thought process may be in conflict with that.
LETTY: Okay, thank you.
I had lots of dreams that I wanted to ask you about, but I donít understand some of my notes! (Laughs, and Elias chuckles) But there was one that was interesting, specifically because there was one evening very recently when I had like three different ... and I believe they were the same communication, but I havenít quite been able to tie them. In one of them I even worked with Leezar about kind of being together in the same event but yet being separate, because I guess I know thatís where I am going to, because thatís my communication. When I go to bed at night, I try to ask myself to explain, you know, like my emotion, my communication of why I have that conflict.
Then that same one, I was at work in a seminar with all these people, and two people came into the room Ė it was in a hotel Ė and we started the seminar and they realized that they didnít belong there, so they excused themselves.
The third part of the dream was my previous boss, Moises, we had a goodbye dinner for a lady that we had to lay off, which is also kind of removing herself from the company in this case. But there was my inner struggle about paying for the bill because my new boss might not approve, and then it kind of moved into my doubt about how much tip to pay.
So in these I felt some kind of confusion, and maybe this is exactly what my allergies tell me, the conflict between myself and what Iím thinking, where I think my choice is going but really Iím moving in a different direction.
ELIAS: Correct, and also another angle, so to speak, of allowing yourself to identify an expression of personal responsibility.
LETTY: For others?
ELIAS: Correct, in which you are projecting your attention outwardly in relation to what you perceive to be the concerns and expressions of other individuals and attempting to express your choices in accordance with that, which is another expression of personal responsibility and not paying attention to your choices and your want.
LETTY: Well, you did mention that we communicate over and over and over until we do get it, huh? (Elias chuckles) Well, good. I can see how all this is kind of related to the noticing more of self and my genuine wants.
ELIAS: Correct! And in this, the imagery that you present to yourself may be in subject matter or in theme the same, but it is also purposeful many times that you are expressing this theme or subject matter in many different types of expressions, to allow you to view the many different aspects of or expressions of certain beliefs, for they do not manifest themselves in merely one expression.
You in actuality are quite creative and diverse beings, as I have stated many times. Therefore, you may express one subject matter in many different types of objective expressions.
LETTY: Well, speaking of this specifically within myself, Iíve talked to a lot of people, including Mary right now, about whatís happening in the world, the U.S. now bombing these people, and we talked about how I think it could have been different. With the shift, people are paying more attention to the energy theyíre putting out there, I think, so it could have gone very differently maybe 20 years ago.
But the issue right now is on a personal level, trying to understand myself, because I havenít had a lot of feelings. I felt compassion, I cried when all those people disengaged, and I understand they did it. Intellectually I understand perfectly their agreement and their choice, but sometimes ... Iíve always said I cry for the people that are left behind, that possibly do not understand the individualís choice. Sometimes I think itís not that I donít care, but Iím trying not to put energy into it to add ... before my immediate response also was ďyeah, go get Ďem!Ē kind of like a part of my automatic response.
But I guess I wanted the validation that I am accepting it differently than I would have previously, ten years ago.
ELIAS: Yes, and I may also express to you, you are participating. But be remembering, my friend, objective imagery is abstract. Therefore, you may be participating and you may be imaging this to yourself in what you perceive to be quite different manners, but it is no less a participation in the same movement, so to speak.
You may be turning your attention to self and examining your individual choices and presentment of imagery to yourself, and also recognizing that you individually are also addressing to beliefs concerning interactions with other individuals, beliefs concerning separation, judgment, victim, and beliefs concerning finances and protection. Even within your dream imagery, you present to yourself aspects of financial confusion.
LETTY: In which weíre all participating.
LETTY: Okay. (Sigh)
ELIAS: And you present to yourself imagery in physical expression in relation to your spiders, concerning protection.
LETTY: (Laughing) Yes; yes, I did.
Well, my dear friend, those were all my questions today, unless you want to add any additional thoughts.
ELIAS: I may express to you, Castille, merely that you allow yourself the awareness of your attention and where it is projected within any particular time framework, allowing yourself to be recognizing what you are actually choosing and doing, for this shall offer you great information concerning your direction, and enabling you, in a manner of speaking, objectively, to more clearly define your wants.
LETTY: Thank you, dear friend.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. As always, I anticipate our continued interaction, and offer you my expression of energy in encouragement and acknowledgment. I also extend to you, as always, my great affection. In this day generate fun, my friend.
LETTY: Okay; yes.
ELIAS: To you in lovingness, au revoir.
LETTY: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 2:13 PM.
© 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.