Friday, November 16, 2001
ďPaying Attention to SelfĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille).
Elias arrives at 10:50 AM. (Arrival time is 29 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
LETTY: Good morning, Elias! How are you today?
ELIAS: As always, and yourself?
LETTY: Oh, Iím doing ... mmm, good. I was going to say ďbetter,Ē and actually it is, in my perspective.
ELIAS: Very well.
LETTY: I still have quite a few questions today, so Iím going to start with a validation from you. I believe, between what Iíve gone through over the month since we last objectively spoke, that Iím redefining myself, and I believe I am finally assimilating this redefining a relationship from the familiar. Part of my validation is that the familiar is the feeling I have in my solar plexus that wants to remind me that Iím a victim and I feel bad and helpless and have no choices. But now with all your assistance, itís like Iím starting to assimilate ... Iím working consciously objectively on this natural form of energy that you and I talked about.
I recognize where I even have a hard time relaxing. I think Iím relaxed and then I find out that Iím not. Even when somebodyís trying to give me a massage, I canít relax.
I think there are those moments that I know I can manipulate better to actually allow, and in those moments I just feel wonderful. That feeling in the solar plexus that Iím beginning to not want to create anymore is slowly moving out of the way.
ELIAS: I am understanding. You are correct Ė allowing yourself to be paying attention and noticing in the moments that you are generating this expression, and in that, turning your attention to yourself, allowing yourself to recognize and not be expressing judgment, but merely allowing yourself to be noticing and aware of what you are generating, which therefore allows you an opening to be generating choices.
LETTY: Yes. Thank you so much. I do feel more relaxed and more at peace, understanding that a little bit.
In speaking of allowance, I had to let go of an employee last week, and in a sense, I wanted your comments. I am trying not to take it personally, definitely. I completely understand it was his choice, his creation. But in the fact of trying to take that personal responsibility and for the other people that are left behind that truly believe that he is a victim, I as a representation of the company I work for am the villain. Is this the same allowance? Iím trying to work on that one too, to ease this uncomfortable feeling, I guess.
ELIAS: And also offering yourself an opportunity to view your experience in relation to your association with what other individuals express.
LETTY: Express and think of me, because that has always been a big issue in our society.
LETTY: Okay, that makes sense.
ELIAS: Therefore, allowing yourself to view your automatic response and your association with what you view as the expression of other individualsí perceptions of you. Therefore, allow yourself the recognition that in actuality, if you are creating this type of expression, you also align with these beliefs.
LETTY: Right, as a victim or villain.
ELIAS: Correct, and therefore you are offering yourself an example of your automatic response in viewing yourself as the villain.
LETTY: How true. Thank you.
My friend from a long time ago ... I guess this is also validation. I created this friend of mine, Phil M, to come back into my life after five years, and I do believe it is also a distraction from or to have a little attention maybe, male attention, to take me away a little bit from my constant thoughts of Leezar, for example. Is that correct?
LETTY: I feel a great connection with him. I want to ask you for his name and family alignment. I do believe he is common; I believe he is Sumafi. Iím not sure about the alignment. I still havenít quite figured that out. Also, what are my focuses with him? Actually Cindel came up with that he was probably my father, and then I validated that he was. I was his son, and we were very, very close; we had a great bond. Thatís why we continue to have that bond, but it doesnít go beyond that as far as more of a romantic relationship.
LETTY: Will you give me his name, please?
ELIAS: Very well. Essence name, Balii, B-A-L-I-I (bah LEE). I may also offer to you, alignment, Vold.
LETTY: Like me! Interesting. I just see a lot of similarities. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
LETTY: I think I talked to you some time ago that I hear noises in my house and a little bit about trying to get over the fact that thereís nothing to be afraid of and itís energy. Within this energy, Iíve become familiar with certain noises, but theyíre starting to change. Is that within the part of me that I am also changing or redefining myself?
ELIAS: Yes. You are correct, and therefore you express a different type of energy, a different expression of energy, and you image this to yourself in altering certain vibrational qualities, so to speak, that you express.
LETTY: This is something that has been around for a few years and I just havenít had an opportunity to ask you. Obviously I talk a lot about Leezar as Brian and I also talk a lot about Cameron, an old boyfriend. Why do I get their names confused? Is there a connection?
ELIAS: Yes. You have created many similar interactions between yourself and these individuals.
LETTY: Kind of on an essence level?
ELIAS: Yes, in other focuses, and in relation to the energy expressions that you exchange with each of these essences, and in certain experiences within relationships with each of these essences.
LETTY: Last week Bruce was in town and she stayed here at my house. We were going through this whole issue of this person we had to let go, or he let himself go but it seems like we did. We went to bed, and I was falling asleep and my smoke detector went off in a short but very definite bark. My first reaction was that it was you, and then I said, ďNo, itís me.Ē But nothing happened and I went back to bed. This was the one in my bedroom. Then not even ten minutes later, Bruce was staying in the other room and hers just went off like there was a fire going on. Of course we woke up, and she made the comment like, ďMy energy is very strong.Ē My impression at the moment is that it was a combination of our energy.
ELIAS: Correct, in what type of expression? Shall you attempt?
LETTY: Personal responsibility?
ELIAS: And sounding an alarm.
LETTY: Is sounding an alarm kind of like paying attention?
LETTY: ďPay attention.Ē I think we reflect each other very well.
ELIAS: Correct, and in this, you do generate personal responsibility for other individuals, and this is quite influencing of your discounting of self.
LETTY: And I think we did that even without saying those words.
LETTY: We did it in energy. We both were feeling bad for this person. So this was more like ... boy, this was a large alarm, though. (Elias chuckles) Itís scary when youíre trying to sleep. I think we were on the right track when we discussed it the next morning, but I will follow up with her. Dreams: I continue and love to have these double features. This is a couple of weeks ago. There was some kind of family initiation going on and my father was kind of like pushing me out the door, or not necessarily discounting me but not accepting me because of the fact we were discussing war and our viewpoints of it. Iíll be honest, right now at this moment I donít even remember, I think I was for the war and he wasnít. I know it has to do also with whatís going on in the world in the mass belief systems, in the news and everything, but it woke me up not necessarily with a fear but with an uncomfortable feeling of anxiety.
Then the second part of my dream that same night, I was on a stage but there was no audience. The interesting part of this dream that I had a hard time trying to focus on was the fact that there were people that I normally donít dream about, two girlfriends that live in San Diego and this one person that I work with out of Houston. Theyíre good friends, but I wasnít quite sure about the relationship. It had to do with cooking and cleaning.
ELIAS: And your impression?
LETTY: Iím not sure about that. The first one was a little bit more, because again it goes back to paying attention to myself and how people perceive me, and I believe that it doesnít matter even with a father figure who I wanted to impress and that itís okay to be myself and not be aligned with that.
And then the stage: it was also along the same line, only because I remember noticing in the dream so well about the clean-up. That also is something that is a big issue with me, being overly clean, and I do discount myself sometimes for being so picky. So was I trying to tell me about my discounting of myself at that time point?
ELIAS: Partially, although I may express to you that the main expression of the imagery that you are presenting to yourself moves in an identification of paying attention to you.
In the beginning aspect of this dream imagery, you are partially correct, and I may express to you a further identification that you are presenting to yourself in symbology, imagery to offer yourself information concerning acceptance in difference, not discounting of yourself or another individual or creating a judgment concerning self or another individual, but allowing yourself a genuine expression of acceptance within the interaction and recognition of difference. You move from that imagery into the singularity of yourself upon a stage with no audience. This is imagery that you present to yourself that your movement and your exploration and your attention moves to self, and that it is not to be concerned with outside responses.
In this, you move yourself quite effectively into the next layer in relation to what you are offering to yourself in information within this dream, and you present yourself with the scenario of interacting with other individuals in what you view as a setting of cleaning and cooking, so to speak, which may appear to you as strange and as not actually offering yourself any reasonable information. But in actuality, this also is quite significant. For as you have previously offered yourself the information concerning self and attention to what you are generating and not concerning yourself with the response of outside expressions, you now move into imagery concerning objective imagery and what is generated in objective imagery as being abstract and that it matters not. Therefore, you present yourself with an objective activity in relation to other individuals that appears to you to be insignificant, for this is your genuine offering to yourself in identifying that what you generate objectively is in actuality quite abstract. It is the abstract presentment of imagery which reflects what you are generating inwardly.
LETTY: It just continues on until you finally realize it.
ELIAS: Correct. As I have expressed recently to another individual, even in your creations of objective imagery which concerns another individual specifically, which you create also quite consistently, what you are presenting to yourself in the objective expression matters not. Although you view it to matter quite intensely, the individual could be any individual.
What I am expressing to you, in like manner to what I have offered recently to another individual, is that you may present to yourself your creation of objective imagery in relation to Leezar, and you view this to be quite specific for you create your imagery consistently in relation to this particular individual. Therefore, your association is that it is specifically singularly concerning this individual, and it is not. It is specifically concerning you. This individual could be any individual.
You choose to be interacting with this one individualís energy almost as a focal point, an offering to yourself [of] a type of focal point to focus your attention singularly in one direction, which is quite in keeping with qualities of the Sumafi family. But the imagery objectively matters not. For in a manner of speaking, it could be quite literally replaced within any moment with another expression of objective imagery. It could be altered, and you in actuality could be generating objective imagery of this type with any other individual or even NOT an individual...
LETTY: Iíd like to get to that one! (Laughing)
ELIAS: ...for it concerns you and your associations with certain expressions, in how you define them in association with relationships and yourself.
LETTY: Is this practice of allowance that Iím working on, does this help? Intellectually, I understand what you say. Part of me, the controlling part holding on, that makes so much sense that I continue to focus on Leezar. My question is, this allowance, this practice, helps me to not to let go of that focus? Because I still would like it, but somehow the familiar to me is working with his energy.
ELIAS: Correct, yes, and you are offering yourself an avenue in which you allow yourself to practice turning your attention to you through focusing on the expression of allowance. It matters not what you choose in method. What holds significance is that whatever method you choose offers you a genuine avenue to practice and accomplish.
LETTY: Yes, and I know I can accomplish in working on my trust of my abilities or on myself, because it is all intertwined.
ELIAS: Correct. Yes.
LETTY: I have lots of dreams but I think I answered one of them, because it was a dream with Cameron but in my dream I related to the energy being Leezar, back to the same thing of where Iíve been before, maybe reminding me of my genuine not wanting the subjective interaction right now. We were together with a whole bunch of people, and this person who looked like Cameron sat down and I wanted to sit next to him, and he said no because he was with a date. I was very upset and ran out the door, looking for a cab to take me home. But within my dream, I knew that it was Leezar.
Is this again the same thing, the connection between the two people but yet still reminding me of my genuine choices that I continue to make?
ELIAS: Partially, and also partially an offering of information of what we have discussed in this previous moment of the interchangeableness of objective imagery.
LETTY: Then itís okay.
This is maybe having to do also with what weíve been discussing today of the really finding the changing, the altering. I had a double-feature dream and both of them had to do with ... one of them was not actually experiencing perhaps an earthquake but where the whole house was in shambles, and I was living with all these people here in my house. When I was trying to put my house back together, people left because they had things to do and I stayed because I wanted to put things together.
In doing that, I understand the placing it ... I almost wanted to put it together but something told me that I didnít have to do it that way. What confused me was there were no lights. There was electricity; I could see the clocks and the switches working, but yet there were no lights from the top of the room so that I could see, to see more clearly, but yet I could see.
The second part of this dream was also in another place, but I also was trying to rearrange furniture. That part of the dream had a little girl that wanted to go to the store with me, and it was kind of like yes/no and Iím not sure who she belonged to. Then there was another girl, an older girl who said she would go along. But the part of the dream that impressed me was that this other girl had bare feet and really callused feet like she was always barefoot, and then it had to do that she had to buy shampoo.
ELIAS: And your impression?
LETTY: Putting this together, that tells me I do feel how Iím altering my perception in many things, including my house, to the point where Iím trying to make an objective choice of altering my perception on many things, especially about myself. The light, I wasnít quite sure other than perhaps I donít really need light to see. You donít need to open your eyes many times to see whatís happening, or you donít need to hear people because you can feel their energy. That was what that part of it meant to me.
ELIAS: Correct, although you also are offering yourself imagery concerning [that] in your redefining and in your exploration within self there is a recognition of a lack of complete clarity yet.
LETTY: So that was the reason for the light?
ELIAS: Correct, for you allow yourself to view some aspects of what you are redefining but some remain unclear.
LETTY: And some remain unchanged or unaltered; I just re-read my notes. I do remember now in that dream I was upset because of the way somebody had left a towel. They didnít place it back correctly or perfectly or to my specifications, and I was a little upset. So is that also ďyes,Ē that I am altering certain things but there are still certain things Iím still with the familiar?
LETTY: What about the little girl? My thoughts go directly to the little girl, the callused feet, and then wanting to go get shampoo.
ELIAS: In this, you image this small one with what you view as bare feet, which is an expression in imagery of freedom, in actuality, but you also view this in your association. As it is unfamiliar, you create imagery of callused feet which creates not quite a positive association within your expression. This is the suspicion of the expression of freedom in its unfamiliarity.
LETTY: Iíve been trying to assimilate, and since this dream happened around those days, one thing that made a big impact on me the last time we talked was the fact that I had not taken full responsibility for myself or my creation of my break up, if you want to call it that, with Leezar. I recall how you mentioned it to me throughout our association objectively, that when you take full responsibility for yourself, you offer yourself great freedom.
LETTY: Iíve been trying to assimilate that a little bit more, which still feels unfamiliar because I catch myself feeling like a victim every once in a while because of that. Thatís what this dream reflects about.
LETTY: Great. That means I am paying attention to myself, Elias!
ELIAS: You are correct.
Now; your imagery concerning the shampoo is your symbology in your expression concerning specifics and your association in relation to specifics of objective imagery and how they should be expressed. For, you choose to image in this manner for this is a specific product that is designed for a specific action and should not be substituted by any other type of product.
LETTY: Thatís where my belief still of absolute comes in every once in a while.
ELIAS: Yes, and expressions of rigidness which, allow yourself to be remembering, this expression of rigidness is in actuality a quality of the Sumafi family. Therefore, you are not attempting to eliminate that but merely allowing yourself to recognize that it is expressed and that you do incorporate choices, even in the expression of rigidness.
LETTY: You can still be rigid but you can still accept.
LETTY: Well, Elias, I think that is it for today, unless you have more words of wisdom for me.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I am acknowledging of you, Castille. Although you generate discouragement within yourself at times, expressing to yourself that you are not accomplishing as well as you wish to be, I may express to you that you are offering yourself quite an expression of information and allowing yourself to become much more familiar and aware objectively of what you are creating. You are paying attention to you and genuinely moving into an expression of exploration of yourself, beginning to be creating an intimate relationship with yourself, and you are drawing to yourself information through different avenues, not merely this one in your interaction with myself.
LETTY: That reminds me then, quickly. Speaking with Mary right now, we were talking about energy and we were talking about the energy that I recognized from myself, even in thinking of past moments where without saying anything to Leezar, he acted more not on what I said but on my own energy of doubtfulness or whatever it might be.
LETTY: And, of course, I do the same thing with him when he goes through his discounting of himself, and I understand so perfectly why we have this personal responsibility for each other. But right now with whatís happening, I am paying attention to myself but I do try to send some energy of that allowance of myself that it matters not.
LETTY: Is that being picked up by him? I know we can influence each other as long as we allow ourselves to.
LETTY: Does he allow himself to be influenced by my energy?
ELIAS: Yes, and this is the significance of paying attention to you, for projecting energy to another individual in attempting to alter an expression that they generate is futile. But in genuinely paying attention to you and recognizing your expression and what you genuinely want and what direction you are moving within, you project a different type of expression of energy and you allow yourself to be creating what you want, for the other individual allows the reception of energy and recognizes no expectation.
LETTY: Iím marking my notes ďlack of expectations,Ē that Iíve practiced so well and so perfectly up to now! (Elias laughs) Youíve been so, so helpful, Elias. I wish I could give you a hug right now!
ELIAS: And you may within your expression of energy, and it is received.
LETTY: Thank you, good.
ELIAS: Be encouraged, Castille, and as always, I express my genuine affection to you...
LETTY: Me, too.
ELIAS: ...and anticipate our next objective interaction. To you this day, my friend, au revoir.
LETTY: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 11:34 AM.
© 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.