Tuesday, March 25, 2003
ďThe Value and Worth in Uncomfortable or Painful ExperiencesĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Bobbi (Jale).
Elias arrives at 1:25 PM. (Arrival time is 17 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
BOBBI: Hi, Elias. Good to talk to you. (Elias chuckles) Well, after talking to Mary, I donít know, I almost feel so much better that... (Laughs) But I will go on with what I wanted to ask you about.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well.
BOBBI: She has a very soothing energy.
ELIAS: And this would be the point of the choice!
BOBBI: Yes, good choice!
ELIAS: Thank you! Ha ha ha ha!
BOBBI: What I wanted to ask you about or talk to you about is my physical creations of the last three months, since the beginning of the year. Iím trying to figure out what Iím doing. Iíve had a lot of physical symptoms, a lot of medical tests, and the doctors canít find anything particularly although the physical symptoms continue.
What Iím creating... It started out with high blood pressure, which was a surprise to me. Iíve had a lot of chest pain and theyíve tested my heart a couple of times because I was sure I was going to have a heart attack. I just donít know whatís going on, and it just continues.
Iím trying to pay attention to what Iím doing and to get the message, because obviously Iím hitting myself over the head with these messages, physical and emotional ones. But as I say, thereís something Iím obviously not getting because it continues. Shall I tell you what I think is going on?
BOBBI: I think a lot of this has to do with further grappling with the concept that I create all of my reality, and being a victim of myself, a victim of disease, a victim of circumstance, all of that stuff. And of course, itís absolutely made me pay attention to me and what Iím creating in the moment, because these symptoms can be very demanding. There are times when Iím absolutely out of breath, my chest is aching, I canít do anything but just sit there. So I know that thatís going on also.
Iíve also recognized that one of my payoffs is that Iíve eased way up on my demands on myself, and other people have eased up on their demands on me as well, so Iím freer to do what I want even if all I feel Iím able to do is to sit there, curled up and miserable on the couch. And itís less expectations of myself.
I donít know how much of this, maybe you can tell me, if a certain amount of this is connecting with my counterpart, Diane, whoís doing the breast cancer thing. Sheís coming to the end of that, probably is getting close to disengaging, and her symptoms are fairly extreme now as well. A couple of the times that Iíve gone through some of these things Ė especially the moments where I think Iím going to die and all that Ė Iíve found out later that she was going through those emotional upsets at the same time.
So, anyway, if you could sort of enlighten me as to what is going on and point me in a direction. Iíve still got doctorís appointments out there, trying to figure out whatís wrong, and nobody can come up with anything or sort of do anything in the traditional medical sense to alleviate some of this stuff.
ELIAS: Very well. First of all, I may express to you that your impression concerning the counterpart action with your friend is correct, but this is not the only factor. This is influencing, and it is strongly influencing, for it is a presentment to you in association with beliefs concerning death and your struggle, so to speak, with these beliefs which concern the choice of death which is being expressed in the imagery of your friend. You are connecting with those experiences and you are generating experiences yourself to be addressing to these beliefs. But there are also other factors.
Now; let me express to you, your impressions as to what you are creating are correct. In this, what you are not objectively recognizing is the value in lack of action.
Let me express to you, recently I engaged an interaction with a group of individuals and I chose as the subject matter to be presenting information concerning value and value fulfillment, and how that is expressed and the information that you offer to yourselves in relation to that expression.
Your automatic association with the term ďvalueĒ is that it shall be expressed in some manner that you deem to be positive, that it is associated with worth, but it is also always associated with some type of positive worth. Worth is neither positive or negative. Value is neither positive or negative.
There are many expressions within each individualís focus that they value, that they do not recognize their expression of value in association with it but nonetheless they do value, and they express these values in on-going manners. What you value you shall express, and you shall continue the expression for it is of worth to you, individually.
Now; at times you may be moving in a direction of expressing some manifestation and actions that you deem to be uncomfortable or even painful, but this is not to say that you do not value them. The experience is of worth, for it offers you information and it allows you the opportunity to become more familiar with yourself, which is the point.
Now; many times if an individual is generating an experience that is uncomfortable or painful, it is more difficult for the individual, such as yourself, to recognize the value in what they are creating. I am not expressing that you shall alter your perception in association with beliefs and view your experience as good or positive, but that you begin to recognize the value in what you are expressing. For if there were no value in it, you would not continue it.
Now; in this, you are generating several actions in your experience. One is to illustrate to yourself the value of incorporating no action, no producing action, and incorporating time frameworks in which your attention moves for the most part solely to yourself, in which you allow yourself a time framework to appreciate yourself, your abilities, your power only in association with you, not in association with any other individual.
Now; I am quite understanding the uncomfortableness that you have been presenting to yourself and also the discounting that you have expressed, and these are automatic responses; but view how this experience has generated an illustration to you of how directed and how powerful you actually are. No thing is attacking you. You are creating this yourself, and you incorporate the strength and the power to affect your physical body consciousness in such extremes that your thoughts may translate that you perhaps are even creating the choice of death. No outside expression is generating a threat to express this to you. It is all being generated within yourself.
Now; there are other factors that are in involvement in this experience that you are presenting to yourself, which quite align with these waves concerning beliefs that are being addressed to, that of sexuality and of duplicity, which continue in this time framework.
Sexuality is, as I have stated many times, not the expression of merely sexual actions but of all physical manifestation within your reality, and this belief system incorporates countless beliefs in relation to physical manifestations, some of which concern how you generate your physical manifestation, age, different processes that occur in association with the aging process, death. There are many, many, many expressions and beliefs incorporated within this belief system Ė also gender, and expressions and manifestations and processes that may be associated with specific genders.
You incorporate the gender of female in this particular manifestation. Therefore, you also incorporate beliefs concerning the function and the process of this female gender. In association with this belief system and the aging process, you incorporate beliefs as to how your physical body consciousness shall function or how it shall change in relation to age.
Now; in this, you affect physical aspects of your body consciousness, hormone levels, functions of different organs, and as a female gender, you incorporate beliefs concerning emotional expressions. I may express to you repeatedly that emotions are not a reaction or a response, but this does not discount the beliefs that are incorporated, and they are quite strong. The beliefs that are incorporated are that emotion is not a communication, it is a reaction, it is a response Ė some action is generated and you respond emotionally.
This is a very strongly expressed belief in association with the female gender, that if you incorporate this particular gender you also express emotional manifestations in association with many different expressions, some of which are in association with your physical body consciousness. You shall acceptedly express moodiness for you are incorporating a female gender, a female body type, and this is acceptable and even expected. This is another aspect of what you are generating in this time framework, associated with alteration of hormonal expressions.
Another aspect of this creation is associated with your roles, the roles that you have chosen to be incorporating but at times view to be somewhat overwhelming: the role of friend, the role of wife, the role of mother, the role of transcriber.
In this, you incorporate strong beliefs in association with disappointment. This is directly associated with personal responsibility [and] disappointment of other individuals. You express little identification of your own disappointment but concern yourself with the disappointment of other individuals. Therefore, you express strong expectations of yourself in association with other individuals. You have been generating this for an extended time framework, and simply put, in a manner of speaking you are tired. You wish to be moving your attention to yourself. This is not to say that as you move your attention to yourself that it is expressed to the exclusion of other individuals.
But you have offered yourself much information, my friend, and now you are moving into an expression of actually incorporating all of that information in reality, not merely in concept, and genuinely attempting to move your attention to you and experiment with how you shall create in association with what you want, not in association with the expectations of other individuals. You are also genuinely moving in an exploration of discovering your preferences.
You have generated a physical manifestation to move your attention and to allow you to genuinely pay attention to you in such strength that it is almost to the exclusion of other individuals Ė not quite, but it has been quite effective.
Now; this is a genuine expression of value. For what you value is allowing yourself a genuine expression of freedom, and in order to accomplish that you must be paying attention to you. (Pause)
BOBBI: I figured that was a large part of it. This just seems like a really difficult way to do that.
ELIAS: I am understanding that as an automatic association, but I may express to you, although beliefs are not good or bad, they are strong and they are not always as obvious as you may think them to be, for they are expressed in such automatic manners that you do not objectively notice. Therefore, in allowing yourselves to move your attention, you create experiences to match the strength of your beliefs.
BOBBI: That makes sense. That just makes a lot of sense. (Elias chuckles) As you said, Iíve certainly incorporated a lot of information over all this time and realized those things, but I guess I kind of kept them over to one side and thought here are the things that I have to do, or maybe even these are the things that I think I want to do, that I expect of myself, and I didnít really allow those, the concepts and the reality of my choices and things, to mix.
ELIAS: And let me express to you, Jale, there are many expressions that you incorporate and many actions that you incorporate within your focus that are associated with your preferences and that are in alignment with what you want, but even those actions you push to extreme, in a manner in which the very things that you prefer and that you want to be creating become a chore.
For you are not listening to you, acknowledging that yes, this action is my preference and I do incorporate an enjoyment in engaging this action, but not in an extreme. You move the preference from the expression of preference to the expression of obligation, and thusly it becomes a chore and it no longer is fun. The reason that this is generated is that you are not listening to you and what you want in the moment.
Let me express to you, it is actually understandable, for you are expressing preferences and therefore within your thought process you become confused. For you express to yourself, ďI do not understand why I struggle with this action or that action, when in actuality I enjoy this action.Ē Yes, you do, but to an extent, not to the extent in which you are forcing your energy and you are incorporating the action as a chore.
BOBBI: Gosh, you know, Iím just so mired in this way of doing things that it is difficult to see where to begin.
ELIAS: And now you allow yourself also the experience of what I have expressed in this information. This shift in consciousness is very unfamiliar and it does generate trauma. Trauma is expressed in many, many manners, not merely in wars, but more significantly in each individual. The trauma is associated with the movement of examination of your beliefs, familiarizing yourself with yourself, and generating an unfamiliar movement. And you have generated trauma. Now it is no longer concept; now it is a reality. (Bobbi laughs and Elias chuckles)
BOBBI: So I have a good case of trauma-of-the-shift? (Laughing)
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha! In a manner of speaking! This is not to say that you are not generating quite real physical manifestations, for you are. But I am expressing to you what is motivating that.
BOBBI: And Iím glad to know that, because I knew I wasnít getting all of it.
ELIAS: When you pay attention to yourself, genuinely pay attention to yourself, not to what you are necessarily thinking but what you are doing... And as I express to you ďpay attention to what you are doing,Ē I am not merely expressing to you to pay attention to what you singularly exclusively are doing yourself, for you are creating all of your reality.
Therefore, what are you doing within the big picture? What are you doing in actions, and what are you doing in presentment to yourself all around you? For you are creating all of that also, and you are experiencing all of it. What are you creating in your relationships, what are you creating with your friends, what are you creating with your family, what are you creating with your actions that you incorporate yourself? What are you creating in this forum, for this is also a significant expression of your creations. What expectations are you generating? What obligations are you generating? What are you denying yourself? How are you forcing your energy?
These are all expressions of what you are DOING, not merely what am I doing in this moment Ė I am sitting, I am listening, I am speaking, I am generating painfulness, I am fatigued. There are many, many, many other expressions that you are creating also in any moment, and that is all what you are doing also.
BOBBI: Could you clarify for me how I could recognize when I am forcing my energy, because youíve told me that many times and I think that Iím just sort of blind to it.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall offer to you an obvious example. Within the time framework of our interaction in physical proximity recently, I incorporated a choice to be interruptive of the sound of the interactions of the groups, correct?
ELIAS: Which you participated within.
Now; within the time framework subsequent to my interaction with the group, you had generated an agreement with Michael to be performing a task, and in the performance of that task you forced your energy in expectation and obligation to be completing the task and not paying attention to you and what you actually wanted to be incorporating, which was a participation in the group discussion upon the day subsequent to my session, correct?
BOBBI: Thatís absolutely true.
ELIAS: Now; you did not listen to yourself and you forced your energy in expectation and obligation in relation to another individual, and you generated disappointment and frustration and even irritation within yourself.
Now; subsequent to that action, you have pushed your energy quite strongly to be generating a transcription of that very session that I choose to interrupt the sound. (1)
Now; to correct and fix that expression in association with the role that you incorporate, you forced your energy to be creating that transcription to the point of it becoming a chore, and incorporating frustration and also expressing a harshness of energy in association with your perception in relation to obligation that you express with other individuals, for the other transcriptions have been somewhat put aside or the movement has been slowed Ė which it matters not.
But what is significant is what you expressed within yourself in expectation of yourself, and your perception of how you shall be viewed by other individuals, expressing an apologetic energy to other individuals for delays. Do you understand what I am expressing to you?
BOBBI: Yes, I do.
ELIAS: And the harshness in which you generate expectations of yourself, and moving expressions that are genuine preferences and are pleasurable to you into an expression of chore and not pleasurable.
BOBBI: Yes, I do understand that. (Sighs) Gad.
ELIAS: And to match the energy of these beliefs that influence those types of actions, you have generated an intensity of physical expression to jar your attention and to interrupt the familiar pattern, and it has accomplished that end. It has generated an interruption, and that is what you value.
BOBBI: I guess it has really scared me, not knowing completely the whole story of what I was doing and that I would go to that extreme to get my own attention.
ELIAS: It is not unusual!
BOBBI: So, I have to ask. I mean, this is almost like a message to myself that Iíd better clean up my act. If I donít, will this continue? Will I, am I creating a probability to disengage?
ELIAS: No, not in this time framework; no, you are not.
BOBBI: I really donít want to. I feel thereís a lot I still want to do!
ELIAS: Within this time framework you are not.
BOBBI: I also had a really overwhelming and bizarre fear that when my counterpart died I would also. I knew that was crazy, but...
ELIAS: I am quite understanding of this, and this is influenced by a belief also, which is an expression of romanticizing to lend validity to the tremendous expression of connection; but it does not diminish the worth or the significance of your connection and your relationship with your friend if you are not also disengaging.
BOBBI: A question about that counterpart action Ė for years, when I was younger, I really thought due to my beliefs in genetics and whatever that I could quite possibly get some sort of cancer in my 40s and disengage from that. I sort of romanticized that whole idea and then sort of snapped to later on and decided no, thatís not what I choose to do at all, and I felt that I had really moved away from that probability. Considering that we are counterparts and our issues are quite parallel Ė and I know this is her own choice Ė but in a way, is part of our connection that she is doing what I had expected for myself?
ELIAS: Yes. This is the action of counterparts, experiencing those experiences that you choose not to be expressing within your individual focus.
BOBBI: Also, since all this discomfort is centered right on my heart, right in the center of my breastbone and my heart, that probably is imagery to me of the whole heart/life-force thing. Is it?
ELIAS: Yes, and also recognize that this is symbolic and it is associated with your connection in part with this individual, what you term to be the heart connection.
BOBBI: So it is green energy center? I think thereís some yellow going on in there, but...
BOBBI: Thank you very much. That really has clarified quite a bit.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
BOBBI: I have just a couple other way more fun questions. We have a little bit of time; is that okay?
BOBBI: We talked about my French Revolution focus last time and you gave me some very good clues Ė actually more than clues Ė and I think I connected with that guy. I believe his name is Bernard. I got kind of a visual of him Ė he was young, had dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. His personality feeling was that he was just very focused on doing a good job, you know (Elias nods and smiles), just real intent on doing a good job.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! (Humorously) Not unlike another individual!
BOBBI: Oh yeah! I think thatís why I connected very easily. When I got that, I thought thatís exactly it Ė I know exactly what he was doing, what he was feeling. (Elias laughs) There was also something with the word ďcerisesĒ Ė the word ďcherriesĒ in French Ė or a cherry orchard. Is that like his last name, or maybe he lived somewhere by a cherry orchard? I got this beautiful view of a cherry orchard in bloom.
ELIAS: (Nodding) Yes.
BOBBI: Thatís where he lived?
BOBBI: A few weeks ago that space shuttle exploded. I heard about it on the radio and I was immediately peppered with little blue spots, which I connect with you. So I was wondering, was one of those people Ė Iím thinking specifically of the Indian woman who was an astronaut Ė am I connected with her in some way?
ELIAS: Yes, in counterpart action, but this was not the point.
ELIAS: No. The point was objective imagery Ė that you so very well connect to Ė and in this, view the imagery of this particular craft and what its expression is or its mission, so to speak Ė to be exploring outside of its atmosphere.
BOBBI: (Laughing) But it exploded on reentry!
ELIAS: Correct, for the point was the imagery of not leaving the atmosphere Ė projection outside of self, attention upon self. That was the imagery, and in association with what you have been creating, that was the reason that I projected my energy to you and you experienced the blue in association with that imagery.
BOBBI: Sort of pay attention to this.
BOBBI: I have that crazy focus of Otto of Bavaria. I was wondering, my brother in that focus would have been King Ludwig, the mad king, and is that my son, Chris?
BOBBI: (Laughs) That guy gets around! I also have an impression of an actress from the Ď40s, Bonita Granville, as a focus of Sena.
BOBBI: Several years ago there was an author named Laurie Colwin who died. I was very fond of her work, but I was really devastated, unexplainably to me, when she died. I took it really personally, so Iíve been looking for what my connection to her was. Was she a focus of someone I know now? Iím thinking maybe my daughter, Melissa.
ELIAS: No, actually that also was a counterpart action that you incorporate throughout the entirety of the focus.
BOBBI: Itís funny, I read a couple of her books in which there were odd things in there that were so personal to me, nicknames and funny odd details that were... It was almost as if she knew me. (Elias nods and chuckles) It was just a funny thing.
A last sort of general question about observing essences Ė are observing essence actions generated by essence, or can those be generated by a focus?
ELIAS: By essence, but some focuses do express more of an association with that action. That is dependent upon the direction and the personality expression of the individual focus, which shall generate that type of connection and recognition and familiarity with certain observing essence experiences.
BOBBI: So looking at the way it flows, the few focuses that Iím aware of that I have an observing essence action going on, theyíre usually involved in things that Iím very interested in.
ELIAS: Correct, and are...
BOBBI: So itís not necessarily this focus, me, expressing that interest, but itís more of a generalized... I mean, I wouldnít have initiated that as a focus, like Iím really interested in women as movie directors, so Iíll be an observing essence of Ida Lupino.
ELIAS: No. In actuality, it is almost the reverse.
BOBBI: Iím doing that observing essence, so thatís why I feel the interest within my focus.
ELIAS: Correct, for this focus generates similar expressions or similar aspects of personality expressions...
BOBBI: Right, in whatever the interest happens to be.
BOBBI: My son, Chris, is aligned with that subdivision of the Gramada family, Gramalda. Is that sort of like a blending of Vold and Gramada?
ELIAS: Not necessarily, although I am understanding of your impression and what you view in that manner; but it is a variation upon the qualities that are expressed in the Gramada family. Therefore, as I have expressed previously, you all incorporate aspects of all of these families and some qualities of all of them. In this, you may be recognizing some qualities expressed in that subdivision of the Gramada family that appear more closely associated with qualities that are expressed by the Vold family; but it is not necessarily a melding, so to speak, or combination of the two families.
BOBBI: I wasnít thinking of an actual combination, but more that their intent was sort of... He just has this sort of a real revolutionary bent. So thatís the Gramalda?
BOBBI: One more other-person focus thing Ė does Jo, that is Tyl, have a focus as Mamah Borthwick Cheney, who was the mistress of the architect Frank Lloyd Wright?
BOBBI: I thought I recognized her right away in that! (Elias chuckles)
Thatís about it. I always have a million questions, but Iím just gonna let that go! Several days ago I was shopping in a grocery store Ė this was during the time when I was wondering if I should talk to you about all this or not Ė there was a page: ďBobby Elias, telephone please,Ē which just really cracked me up. (Laughing, and Elias laughs) Was that you affecting that? I almost took it as an invitation at that point.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Correct!
BOBBI: That was pretty tricky! (Laughs) Thank you so much, Elias.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. Pay attention to yourself, and relax. (Chuckles) I offer to you as always my tremendous affection, and express to you a dearness in friendship.
BOBBI: Thank you so much.
ELIAS: In fondness, my friend, au revoir.
Elias departs at 2:24 PM
(1) Bobbiís note: Just for the record, that transcript was completed before Elias let it be known that he purposely affected the sound on the recording equipment. Gee, Elias, let a person know!
Transcripts: see session 1252, January 18, 2003.
© 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.