Wednesday, October 06, 2004
ďLitigation and Win/LoseĒ
ďIt Is Not Bad to Want to Create an Attractive AppearanceĒ
ďComforting with FoodĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anonymous.
(Eliasí arrival time is 12 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
ANON: Good morning, Elias! How are you today?
ELIAS: As always, and yourself?
ANON: As always! Iím going to get into some meaty questions right off. I have manifested for many, many years now litigations for various things, and this week actually Iíve got some discoveries and so on to go on. Because Iíve manifested it so much, I just wanted to clarify with you these constructs in my life. If you could give me some pointers on what beliefs are there Ė are they all the same beliefs for all the situations, and what is keeping them stuck, if anything?
ELIAS: And what is your impression and your assessment?
ANON: Because of the forum, I think there are a lot of pieces to it, so I think itís a very efficient construct. There may be some stimulation in there, but the beliefs are maybe about proving or worth or limiting. I get confused because it feels like thereís a lot of them. I feel like Iím caught in a spider web when I try to understand it, because it seems like there are lots of pieces to it.
ELIAS: It is partially concerning proving and approval, and also is associated with differences and your association with principles and right and wrong.
ANON: So Iím getting very positional, then, in ďthis is right and this is wrong,Ē ďIím right and youíre wrong,Ē and things like that? Is that what you mean?
Now; also recognize that this has been a tool for you to be recognizing your preferences and what are not your preferences. It has also been a tool for you to express principles and allow yourself to be aware of what you are expressing in somewhat of a dramatic manner, which allows you to view the situations more clearly. But it also, in another manner, has served to be helpful to you in recognizing differences, allowing yourself to recognize preferences, and therefore to be expressing more acceptance. Not merely expressing the right and wrong of a matter but moving more into an understanding of your preferences and allowing yourself to express that.
ANON: So if we can get specific about this one that Iíve got coming up this week, this discovery process this week, this is actually with my last client. Itís very interesting, because I thought I was very clear on how much I charged and all of that stuff, but now theyíre saying that didnít happen. Sometimes I feel really solid about being in my own truth and not really paying attention to their position, because it is positional, and I feel fine in those moments. But then sometimes I leave that and go into ďI have to prove this, but how do I prove this?Ē
ELIAS: It is not a matter of proving. That is an issue and that is an obstacle that you generate in association with doubting yourself. But in actuality, these types of situations and interactions you create and you participate within as an avenue to express yourself and to hold to your preferences Ė not to be discounting the other individual, but to be expressing your own trust of yourself and to be expressing your own power, not acquiescing to the directions or the dictates of other individuals.
ANON: I feel pretty okay about whatís coming up tomorrow. I just have to be trusting myself. When Iím trusting myself, I feel fine with it. I guess Iím just a little bit nervous about the process.
ELIAS: Remember, this is not a competition. Also, it is not a matter of matching energy or proving, and it is not a situation of debate. It is your opportunity to be expressing your power and your trust of yourself, not competing or debating or instructing or justifying, merely to be expressing your own trust of your expressions, of your direction, of your abilities, and generating your power in confidence in acceptance of yourself and your performance.
ANON: This isnít only energetically creating my trust of my abilities, my abilities to create for example, and my power and so on, but this is also my abilities in what I already have created in the framework of work that I did for them?
ANON: Because that is what it concentrates on. I understand we do it energetically, but when Iím sitting there at the table answering questions being fired at me...
ELIAS: I am understanding. But remember, what has been created in what you perceive to be the past is also being created now, and this type of situation offers you evidence of that. That past is also being created now.
ANON: When I did the work... I have to speak in past [tense] because Iím not at the point of all of this simultaneous right yet.
ELIAS: Very well.
ANON: So when I did that work I was in my flow. I was very confident. I knew what I was doing, and things flowed very easily. So in continuing on with this, Iím creating that still.
ANON: Is that what youíre saying?
ELIAS: Yes, for the past is continuing now. In this...
ANON: But I interrupted it! I interrupted it with this litigation, that they did not honor or they did not value my work enough to pay me even a portion of what it should be worth.
ELIAS: No, you did not interrupt it. You continued to create it by continuing to create associations with it.
ANON: Because I didnít want to let it go?
ELIAS: For you are expressing your preferences and you are acknowledging your abilities and appreciating your power and your expressions that you have created. Therefore, you have continued to create the association with the past actions to generate the fulfillment of the entirety of the project. It is not finished. Therefore, you are continuing the process to generate the preferred outcome.
ANON: And the preferred outcome is for me to know that, inside myself all the time?
ELIAS: Yes, and the physical preferred outcome.
ANON: Which is to be paid for what I did?
ANON: So, at the end of the project when I left them, if I was solid in my abilities and confidence and really appreciated my expression of what I had created, then I wouldnít have created this litigation to drag on for me to continually own what I had created.
ELIAS: Perhaps. But let me express to you, I am aware that this is a familiar type of direction that many individuals move within, and in a manner of speaking, it is somewhat distracting and also somewhat inaccurate, for it is a speculation ďif I had generated a different action, I would have created a different outcome.Ē Not necessarily, for it is not necessarily a negative action, and also you did not complete the action. You did not complete the project.
The project continues now, for you continue to be interactive with the other individuals and they are a factor of the project. Therefore, the past is continuing now, and in that, you are offering yourself information. You are allowing yourself to examine your preferences, you are allowing yourself to express yourself and empower yourself, and you are also allowing yourself to examine what your own snares are or potentially can be. Therefore, you are again empowering yourself to avoid those snares of discounting yourself or doubting yourself or anticipating in a discounting manner, and you are allowing yourself to be aware of automatic responses such as justifying or proving, which is not necessary.
ANON: So whatís necessary is to just know myself, know and have confidence in what I know happened?
ELIAS: Yes, and what you have expressed and what you have done. You have created a challenge of questioning that by other individuals to allow you the opportunity to be aware of these automatic responses.
This is the reason that I express to you, had you chosen a different type of expression previously, that would not necessarily alter what you are creating now. For what is significant to view is what you are presenting to yourself and what you are offering to yourself in information concerning yourself and your own automatic responses. That is quite significant, for automatic responses are difficult to identify. They are difficult to notice, for they are very automatic.
ANON: So my impression of the key automatic responses are that I would give up my own truth or what I know in myself for the other personís information.
ANON: Then I confuse myself thinking ďhow can they think that; thatís so different than what really happened.Ē
ELIAS: And this is significant also, for remember, this is not a matter of discounting yourself or discounting the other individuals, for their perception is just as real as yours and their direction is just as real as yours. It is not a matter of competition or justification. It is a matter of holding to your power, and acknowledgment and appreciation of your abilities, of what you do, of what you have done, of how you have expressed yourself Ė without discounting the other individuals either, without generating judgment or blame, but acknowledgment of the differences of perception but holding to your expression.
ANON: This is very interesting, because I had another question about creating our reality where we clarify the piece with other individuals. Itís not about controlling other individuals; itís about recognizing. So this litigation is actually a perfect forum for that, because Iím very clear on what I communicated and what I expressed. I communicated it to someone I thought was a friend Ė I still consider him a friend; I donít write him off or anything Ė but he has completely said no, that didnít happen, and even after numerous discussions and clarifications about it and...
ELIAS: But what you are engaging in that action is an attempt to justify yourself and instruct and convince another individual, and that is not the point. The justification is not necessary if you are aware and confident in your ability and what you have expressed. There is no need to be engaging justification. Once you recognize that the other individual is expressing a very different perception, it is somewhat pointless to attempt to instruct and convince the other individual, for essentially what you are doing in that action is discounting the other individual and discounting yourself. You are discounting both in that action rather than acknowledging either of you.
For in attempting to instruct and convince another individual, you are projecting the energy that the other individual is wrong, and if you are generating that strongly or vehemently, you are also generating an expression of justifying yourself, which is also a discounting. That is a discounting of yourself, for if you are engaging justification of yourself, you are doubting your expression. If you are not doubting your expression and if you are not experiencing a threat, it is unnecessary to justify.
Therefore, what you have been generating is an engagement of competition, justification, discounting, attempting to instruct and convince, and debating, and all of those actions incorporate judgment. But this has all been quite purposeful, for it has allowed you an opportunity to engage a situation to more clearly understand what you have expressed confusion concerning previously. You have set your own stage to offer yourself the experience of all of these actions, that you may actually evidence all of these actions occurring and therefore generate a clearer understanding of the concepts. Thusly, those concepts become reality.
ANON: The concept is of not discounting myself, not doubting myself, or being clear on what my truth is.
ELIAS: And also what occurs in interactions with other individuals. You have incorporated previously confusion in what are you creating, what the other individual is creating, and where lies the line between the two, which there is no line. It is a cooperation, and there is always a reflection. I am aware that these concepts have generated somewhat of a confusion with you previously, and I am also aware of your desire to understand. Therefore, you have created an experience to play all of these concepts in a real scenario within your experience.
ANON: So what keeps coming up as we talk Ė and I think maybe I have this as an absolute that Iím trying to understand, because it goes along with competition as well, and I understand itís a belief Ė itís the win/lose.
ANON: The win/lose is very strong. Iím at the point now where I havenít internalized it so much that Iím not aware of it. I am aware of it, but Iím just not aware of an alternative at this point.
ELIAS: It is not a matter of winning or losing. It is a matter of cooperating, acknowledging differences and also acknowledging yourself and directing yourself. It is not a matter of winning.
ANON: In this litigation, though, the winning or losing, the perception would be that the person who wins would be the person who gets the money, and the person who loses is the person who has to give it up. Thatís kind of the playing field here.
ELIAS: I am aware.
ANON: Itís very black and white, so...
ELIAS: But if you are not concentrating your energy in that direction, expressing that black and white and occupying your attention with the receiving or the giving of money, and are more moving your attention to the expression, what you have done, the acknowledgment of yourself in your creation, the appreciation of yourself and what you have created, and also the appreciation of the other individual and their participation, that changes the energy and it removes the competition element. It generates more of a cooperation rather than a competition in which there is justification and blame.
ANON: I want another spin on the win/lose, because Iím really working with this.
ELIAS: Very well.
ANON: I ran for a Board of Governors position. It was against people who were already on the Board, and itís never been that anyone has not been reelected. Well, this time it was. I got elected over someone who was on the Board. She happened to be a friend of mine, and I had a real problem with that because I felt that there was a win/lose there. I won and she lost. I knew that I wasnít quite getting it, that that didnít happen. I knew there was a cooperation. But the belief is so strong; itís not quite out in front of me so that I can really view the engagement of it or the acknowledgment of it enough.
ELIAS: I am aware that this is a very strong association and a strong belief. It is expressed in many different avenues within your reality in association with many different experiences, even in games which are designed to be playful. Many times they also incorporate the win and the lose and the competition element, which is in actuality not the point. But I am aware that this is how you are associating with this type of experience.
Remember, you are generating choices and so are other individuals. Therefore, you may engage in an activity such as an election, and one individual may be favored, so to speak. Therefore, it appears that one individual has won and one has lost, but these are choices.
You generated an energy that created a position that you wanted to engage. The other individual did not express that strength of energy, for the want was not as strong. Therefore, it is not actually a matter of winning or losing. It is a matter of choices, and the choices are associated with what you want and whether you genuinely want to generate a particular direction and experience or not, and whether you allow yourself. For at times, an individual may want to generate a particular direction and may also be incorporating challenges and some difficulty in actualizing that, for they may be expressing their own obstacles or questioning their own abilities. In this, you were not questioning your abilities, you realized your want, and you allowed yourself to generate that.
ANON: Yes, I did it with quite a lot of ease, too; it was really quite amazing.
ELIAS: Which occurs in moments in which you are trusting yourself, you are not concerning yourself with outside expressions, and you are genuinely moving in the direction of your want and acknowledging yourself in confidence in that, which is what you are presenting to yourself once again in association with this litigation.
ANON: Thereís one more litigation with my ex-husband Ė there are a few more Ė but the one with my ex-husband that has been hanging on for a long time. I have a feeling that pretty much Iím ready to close that down. I have a feeling that oneís ready to complete, too. I feel like I almost need to complete this stuff because Iím expanding in a different way. Thereís a direction that I feel like I need to go in. All these things are kind of necessary to complete, but I canít really focus all of my energy in the new direction that I want to go in without completing them.
ELIAS: These are preparations, for they are offering you valuable experiences that offer you valuable information concerning yourself.
ANON: And that has to do with the new business that Iím doing, doesnít it?
ELIAS: Yes, and it also concerns your allowance of yourself to express your freedom.
ANON: Thatís a big one for me. I got all this freedom, and all of a sudden I felt so exposed. It was terrifying. I was like, ďOh my goodness, Iím exposed!Ē But anyway, Iím working with that.
ELIAS: Exposure may be somewhat challenging and initially somewhat overwhelming, but ultimately it offers you tremendous freedom.
ANON: Well, itís a very interesting feeling.
ELIAS: It may initially be challenging or even unnerving, but ultimately it is a tremendous expression associated with your freedom.
ANON: I feel like thatís where Iím going. I feel like Iím at a pivotal place in my life where I choose whether or not Iím going to continue on and expand that way, or whether or not Iím just going to close down and kind of shrink into things, become a turtle or an ostrich or something. (Elias laughs) I feel like some pivotal choices are being made right now. I was dealing with punishment and atonement and all of that stuff, and I feel like Iíve really shifted my focus on that.
ANON: Thatís not something that I feel I need to create in my life. Is that...?
ELIAS: Yes, correct.
ANON: Have I done that?
Now; remember, you are not eliminating, but you are engaging different choices and therefore empowering yourself rather than discounting yourself.
ANON: That was a big one for me to let go of.
ELIAS: And you are accomplishing.
ANON: I am. Now I want to talk about body, as well. We talked about it years and years ago, but I want to bring it back. Itís very interesting what Iím creating around body imagery, and itís almost like none of the old beliefs apply anymore. I just want to be clear that my body manifestation is about acceptance of self. Because I gain weight or lose weight, things like that, and I had the impression last week that the more I try to hide, the bigger my body gets and vice versa. I feel like the relationship with my body is a little bit complicated, and I donít have...
ELIAS: I am understanding, and your impression is accurate. I may express to you that the more that you concentrate upon what is unacceptable in association with your body, the more you create that. It is a matter of examining what you do and what your preferences are, and not judging them. It is not bad or wrong to want to create an attractive appearance.
ANON: Does some part of me think it is?
ELIAS: There is some element within you that generates the belief that vanity is bad and that vanity is shallow. That is a judgment. Vanity is merely an appreciation of appearance.
ANON: Can you tell me what the core limiting beliefs are on this? I feel like Iím ready to let this one go. Iím at the point now where I want to unhook these beliefs. In our society right now, there is such a strong belief of ďyou have to eat this or this will happen to your body.Ē I see different people having different preferences, different people eating different things, and everyone has a different body, anyway. I almost want to unhook anything that I eat and any way that I exercise from my physical body manifestation. Thatís what I want, but Iím not sure if thatís something that Iím creating or if thatís just wishful thinking.
ELIAS: It is not wishful thinking. I may express to you, what you are attempting to move more fully into is a genuine expression of acceptance, in which you are accepting of these beliefs concerning body and attractiveness and all of the influences that are associated with them, and allowing yourself to merely choose your preferences and express them. Recognizing that certain expressions are associated quite strongly with mass beliefs Ė wanting to allow yourself to generate an attractiveness physically with your physical body consciousness and concerning yourself with how you appear Ė also includes an influence underlying that that is less spiritual, which it is not, for your body consciousness is an expression of you. Therefore, it is significant to be appreciating of that also. It is the manner in which you project yourself within your physical reality. Why should you not want to incorporate your preferences and what you perceive to be attractive and what you can appreciate?
ANON: Thatís what I ask myself every day! (Elias laughs) The other part of it is that I feel like Iím letting myself experience pleasure a little bit more in my life, and exercise to me is pleasurable as long as it doesnít have the ďhave toísĒ attached to it.
ANON: And food is very pleasurable. I find it very sensual, the different textures and flavors. I feel like there is this war going on inside of me that you HAVE TO exercise this much and you CANíT enjoy this food otherwise you canít have this body, like thereís a trade-off.
ELIAS: No. Acknowledge your preferences. Acknowledge your appreciation of different foods and allow yourself to be playful with your exercising, for it is also a preference and you enjoy the activity. It is not necessary to be incorporating such rigidity.
ANON: Then how do I direct my body consciousness? Like right now, I guess Iím paying attention to things like the uncomfortableness of my form and picking it apart and criticizing it. And you know, this is not new.
ELIAS: And in that, what are you doing?
ANON: Iím concentrating on that and Iím creating it, and I recognize that.
ELIAS: Correct! Now interrupt that concentration. Interrupt that concentration in allowing yourself to engage your exercising in a playful manner, not with the expectation of any outcome but acknowledging and appreciating the action of the process, not the expectation of the outcome. That is one manner in which you may interrupt your concentration of what you have been creating.
Now; another manner in which you may interrupt it is by offering yourself a gift each time you notice that you are generating that discounting and concentration upon what is uncomfortable. Perhaps chocolate!
ANON: Well, that would be putting everything in the face of it, wouldnít it? That would be allowing my preferences in the choice of what I eat and also interrupting. Boy, thatís actually quite funny.
ELIAS: Yes. (Laughs)
ANON: I was playing with that the other week, but I wasnít quite brave enough to do it.
ELIAS: Perhaps now you may actually engage the action.
ANON: I engaged your action of buying flowers, and it was great because it kept reminding me every time I looked at the flowers that first of all I had discounted myself, but it also allowed me to shift my attention to appreciating myself.
ELIAS: Which is a significant accomplishment.
ANON: Itís slow. I love to do things really fast Ė okay, letís get all of this done Ė but Iím learning to enjoy the processes.
ANON: So with my body, Iím just going to continue. Iím not as uptight about it as I used to be, so I really do appreciate that there has been change and there has been movement.
ANON: Iíve been going to food again, like wanting to eat food when Iím upset or something. I havenít done that in years and years and years, and it is really disturbing me. Do you have any insight into that, or is that just part of what we were talking about?
ELIAS: It is another factor. It is also an expression of a distorted consolation. It appears initially to you to be a comfort, but in actuality what you are actually doing in that action is a type of distorted consolation, a camouflage. You attempt to console yourself concerning what you have discounted yourself with by offering yourself some element or some expression that you think generates comfort. But in actuality, you are merely reinforcing the discounting of yourself. For as you incorporate that action of consuming in the camouflage of comfort, you are actually merely perpetuating the discounting of yourself. For you generate an automatic association with food, that if you are consuming too much food, you shall automatically enlarge your size. Therefore, in consuming as an action of false comfort, you are reinforcing the issue. That is significant to also interrupt, for that is a pattern and that is an evidence of your concentration.
In those moments in which you experience yourself pulling yourself in the direction of this false comfort, this camouflage, interrupt that by incorporating a different action, rather than exercise. For that may, in this time framework, generate too close of an association with the discounting, and we are moving in the direction of incorporating the exercising as an activity of fun and a process of fun, not to be generating an outcome. Therefore, do not incorporate exercise in replacement of the urge to be generating false comfort with food. But as you experience those moments, rather than consuming, which is an action of shielding inwardly, express outwardly and engage a dance. And I shall propose to you that in your engagement of the dance in each of these moments, I shall project my energy to you and engage the dancing with you.
ANON: Oh, fabulous! (Elias laughs) So in recognizing and acknowledging my preference of having an attractive body or creating an attractive body, appreciating and consuming whatever foods I want and playfulness with exercise, when I discount my body then I actually engage the appreciation of the different food, like eating a chocolate or something like that.
ANON: Exercise is completely disengaged from this whole process...
ANON: ...because itís just about having fun. This is my way of now learning how to be playful.
ANON: And in comforting myself by shielding inwardly with food, the chocolate wouldnít work here because thatís going to be another form of reinforcing...
ANON: ...because Iím going to believe that will make me gain weight...
ELIAS: That is a different action.
ANON: ...so I would dance.
ANON: Actually, I was really proud of myself this weekend. I was feeling not comfortable in my body but I went out and danced anyway, and I havenít done that in years and years and years.
ELIAS: Ha ha! And I am acknowledging of you!
ANON: That was pretty great. We are close to being out of time. There are so many more questions; I think Iím going to need to do another session.
But I wanted to touch on money and numbers just a little wee bit. I feel like thereís still a bit of the acquiring of money, like I still have a little bit of that, but I also feel like I have made a lot of movement in terms of it not being separate.
ELIAS: And I am acknowledging of you.
ANON: I have been buying lottery tickets, and for some reason, this is a game with me. I have never bought lottery tickets in my whole life, and now in the past couple of months Iím buying lottery tickets. Itís almost like Iím going to create this happening. (Elias laughs) I support charities with some of the lottery tickets that I buy, and in both of those Iíve won little prizes. And the odds are huge, you donít win Ė but I have! Iíve manifested these winnings. So itís cool. My first response to that was I didnít win the big prize, but the other part of me is appreciating that Iíve done this.
ELIAS: Yes, and remember, it is not the outcome; it is the process. It is the game that is significant, and your allowance of yourself to be playful and appreciating of your own expressions of surprise.
ANON: Is it probable that I would create winning one of these larger lotteries or is it just...?
ELIAS: It is a choice.
ANON: So I can choose. Okay, well, weíll do that!
Very quickly: funny things have been happening with me for quite a long time with numbers, like 2-2-2 or 5-5-5, or Iíll wake up at certain times in the night. I donít know if theyíre all related, these situations. Can you speak to that a little bit for me? Itís quite playful. I do find it quite playful, but I donít know what message Iím sending to myself.
ELIAS: What you are imaging to yourself is an acknowledgment of shifting. All of these repetitions of numbers is your imagery that you are presenting to yourself in association with an acknowledgment and a validation to yourself that you are shifting, you are widening your awareness, and therefore, you are accomplishing. It is a validation.
ANON: So just appreciate this when it happens, then.
ELIAS: Yes, as your validation and acknowledgment to yourself.
ANON: I have an impression of my company that Iím at the stage now of leaping off the cliff, of just going for it. Iím daring to dream on it. I keep having these impressions that this is going to be a very global company, so this exposure issue is going to be even...
ELIAS: Allow yourself not to overwhelm yourself and to move in your own pace, in your own time framework and in your own comfort. Allow yourself to move in association with your own expressed confidence and not to overwhelm yourself, knowing that you are generating the potential for a mass expression but that you also are directing that. Therefore, you choose how and when.
ANON: So keep being comfortable with actually what that looks like, because I have so many ideas that it does seem overwhelming at the time. I think Iím going to sit with that a little bit, and maybe weíll canvas it at the next one.
I just want to ask very briefly, my arms keep going to sleep. It happens a lot. Iíd like some input on that as well, please.
ELIAS: That may also begin to alleviate in your engagement of the exercises that we have discussed and the interruption of your concentration.
ANON: On the body issues?
ELIAS: Yes. As you allow yourself more of a free flow of your energy in association with your body consciousness, that may also alleviate this pressure within your extremities and alleviate that manifestation. The dancing may be quite influencing. Ha ha ha!
ANON: Iíll give it a try, thatís for sure! Weíre out of time now, and itís been delightful, as usual. Thank you so much.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend.
ANON: I look forward to dancing with you! I have to warn you, though, I tend to lead a lot.
ELIAS: Very well. (Laughs with Anonymous) You are welcome to express your preference! I express to you, my dear friend, great affection, and I shall be anticipating our next meeting.
ANON: Me too!
ELIAS: To you, in great fondness, au revoir.
ANON: Au revoir.
Elias departs after 1 hour, 1 minute.
© 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.