Tuesday, February 08, 2005
ďGrief and GuiltĒ
ďThinning Veils of SeparationĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Axel (Ricarro).
(Eliasí arrival time is 13 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good evening!
AXEL: Elias! Hello! (Elias laughs) Itís good to hear your voice...
ELIAS: And you also, my friend.
AXEL: ...with advanced technology. Elias, before we start, as youíre probably aware, I have been installing an Internet telephone, and I am recording the session on my Notebook computer. I was wondering if you could tell me if this is going to work, because otherwise I would hang up for a moment and call Mary again on the regular telephone.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) I may express to you, that would be dependent upon you, would it not? Thus far, you are generating successfully.
AXEL: I have been struggling for a week to figure out a recording solution... (Axel cuts out) ...tried many methods with tapes from telephone to computer with a tape recording machine, and what happened was that everything I got from the computer store didnít work at my place. Then Anji gave me this advice to use Internet telephone. I searched the forums of this service and found the suggestion that you can record Internet telephone. I was encountering so many problems that I was wondering what I am showing myself in this.
ELIAS: And what is your impression?
AXEL: Well, I have various impressions. (Elias laughs) I think the main thing is how my energy affects objective imagery.
ELIAS: And you also have successfully generated distracting yourself, offering yourself a project that holds your attention and has also sparked your interest and curiosity, and has also allowed you, in the midst of your frustration, to be engaging some elements of fun in this curious adventure.
AXEL: Yes. What I noticed is that I was generating an atmosphere inside myself which is quite similar to what I often experience at my work place. That was leading me to think that it doesnít matter what Iím dealing with on the objective level; I am creating the imagery based on the energy Iím expressing, anyway.
AXEL: Yes. Elias, may I start with a few (inaudible)? I have (inaudible) today, so I would like to ask for Anji. Anji created a new focus that disengaged during the tsunami wave.
AXEL: In which location has this individual disengaged?
AXEL: Anji was even wondering if it was in the same hotel where Khadija died.
ELIAS: No, but not far.
AXEL: In a different hotel?
AXEL: Same beach, called Khao Lak?
ELIAS: Somewhat farther, but close by that area.
AXEL: I see. Then, KC says, and Iím quoting, ďI have a new kitty called Snowbitty. Is there a fleck of Marnia in this cat?Ē
AXEL: KC wrote me an email, and she wrote, ďSo I grinned back and she smiled broadly with that ĎI know something that you donít knowí singsong in her eyes. She was so happy. I told her sheís a little brat for croaking,Ē and she laughed out loud. (Elias laughs) Isnít that cute?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) But also a validation of how you reconfigure energy and allow yourselves to regenerate familiar energies within your reality.
ELIAS: You may offer my congratulations to her. (Both laugh)
AXEL: I will be glad to do so. Also, a friend at my work place, her name is Andrea, is very excited about the discovery of your material, and she is offering her greetings to you.
ELIAS: And you may express mine to her also.
AXEL: I will do that.
ELIAS: And you may extend my invitation for conversation together, if she is so choosing.
AXEL: Iíll do that. She wants to get a little bit more familiar with your philosophy.
ELIAS: Very well!
AXEL: For now, she would like to know her stats, essence family, orientation and those things, focus type.
ELIAS: Very well. Essence name, Natalia, N-A-T-A-L-I-A (nuh TALL ee uh). And your impression as to essence families?
AXEL: Well, itís not exactly my field of interest, but I think it could be something in the area of Sumari/Ilda/Tumold.
ELIAS: Belonging Sumari, alignment Ilda.
AXEL: That was my original impression.
ELIAS: And your impression as to focus type?
AXEL: Iíll think about it. Political?
ELIAS: Yes. And...
AXEL: Her orientation is common.
AXEL: Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
AXEL: So, I would now like to address to my questions, Elias. I have elaborated on my questions this time, because Iím on vacation from work. May I read to you what I have written?
ELIAS: Very well.
AXEL: I take it from all transcripts that people disengage when they cannot find value fulfillment in their lives anymore. Does the same thing apply to Khadija? I may be wrong in the following, but I felt in the months before the tsunami she was working so very much, not really having too much fun and not much considering what was actually important to her. In spite of her protestations, she was also sort of avoiding me. I wonder, did Khadija sense the probability to find further value fulfillment as poor? Had she resigned, in a sense? In this context, what was Khadijaís intent? In which manner could she not act out her intent?
Finally, along these lines, I feel a little guilty that I did not express differently to her during all this time that we knew each other, and Iím regretting this a lot. Iím noticing in the light of all the information that I have, but Iím now remembering countless situations where I wish things could have gone different. In my weaker moments, I have gone so far to think she would not have disengaged if I would have been different. Also, Iím still wondering how this relationship could move from a long state of excellent harmony to sometimes seemingly insurmountable conflict and opposition.
ELIAS: This is, in actually, several questions. (Chuckles) First of all, let me offer to you one explanation in relation to value fulfillment. I have expressed that if you are not generating your value fulfillment within this manifestation, you shall not continue to be generating this physical manifestation Ė BUT that is not the ONLY reason for an individual to be disengaging. The choice of death may be generated for many different reasons, and that is dependent upon each individual.
Now; in this situation, let me express to you that regardless of whether an individual appears to be happy or generating fun or not is not necessarily a measure or an association with whether they are generating or fulfilling their value fulfillment, for value is not necessarily expressed in comfort or in ease or in what you view to be positive expressions. You all generate experiences that may be uncomfortable or even painful, but they continue to be associated with your value fulfillment.
In this, as I expressed to you in our previous conversation, this individual disengaged in association with a collective agreement, so to speak. In that, the expression of choosing death was an intentional contribution to a particular message that was being expressed by all of these individuals that participated in that mass event and all of you that participated in that mass event by receiving the message, which you have. Therefore, this would not be a matter of the individual choosing to be disengaging for they no longer were generating their value fulfillment, but rather that another element of their value fulfillment was to be engaging that choice of death and to participate with the collective message concerning cooperation and appreciation. Having been experiencing opposition in her own experiences, the message appeared to be significant and important, and therefore the choice to participate in the mass event, which delivered the message.
Now; as to your involvement in relationship with this individual, let me express to you that you do not incorporate responsibility for the other individualís choices or how they create their reality. You do not provide happiness or comfort for another individual. Regardless of what you do within your choices and your reality, you do not create the other individualís reality. Therefore, you also are not responsible for their happiness or the lack of their happiness.
I am understanding what you are experiencing in what you are feeling and what you are thinking in association with your relationship and time frameworks of conflict. But it is unnecessary and almost a waste of energy to be incorporating blame with yourself, for within each moment, I may express to you that you are generating your choices and your expressions and your behaviors in what you may term to be the best of your ability in that moment. Therefore, it serves little purpose to be recalling events and to be blaming yourself that you had not generated different behaviors or different expressions.
For, it is a matter of paying attention to each moment, each time framework, and within any given moment you are responding in association with what you are aware of. In a subsequent moment, you may offer yourself more information and thusly be more aware and generate a different behavior or expression in that subsequent moment. But the behavior or the expression that you generate in any moment is expressed in association with what your awareness is in that moment and what information you incorporate in that moment. This is the reason that you speak with myself, to offer yourself information, to be becoming more aware.
But the subjects that we speak of, as I have expressed many times previously, are quite challenging and at times pose significant difficulty, for they are very unfamiliar. I am aware that many times as I express that to any of you, it is being received merely as words. But eventually, you begin to assimilate and genuinely understand what I am expressing to you. Automatic responses are challenging and are, many times, difficult to address to, for they are automatic, and therefore, they are not necessarily noticed.
In this, regardless of how much information you offer to yourself intellectually, if you are not actually recognizing what you are doing in the moment and if you are not actually aware of your automatic responses in a moment, you are expressing with the awareness that you have Ė which is not bad, but it is limiting. But that is what is familiar to you; it is not wrong. The reason that you incorporate...
AXEL: Iím sorry, Elias, may I interrupt you for a moment?
AXEL: My phone quality is not good, and I cannot very well follow your delivery. Do you mind if I cut this and call Mary back on the regular telephone?
ELIAS: Very well.
AXEL: Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are welcome.
AXEL: Iíll call you back in a moment.
ELIAS: Very well.
AXEL: Okay, thank you. (Pause while the conversation is discontinued and then reestablished.)
AXEL: Hello back, Elias. I could hardly hear you. Ten minutes ago it was okay, and then the sound started to go on and off. (Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: Fluctuation in energy.
AXEL: That is a... how can I say? I wasnít focusing my attention well enough, so to speak.
ELIAS: I am aware. Let me express to you, my friend, you are engaging an action that is quite unnecessary. You are discounting of yourself, you are focusing your attention in guilt and blame, and as I have expressed previously, these are expressions that are almost a waste of energy. You are not at fault, and you need not be incorporating guilt.
AXEL: So this is influencing even on the recording?
ELIAS: Yes, for this is what you have engaged in conversation with myself. You have presented the subject matter, and therefore, in listening to my response, within yourself what you are doing is, without words, arguing with myself, for you disagree. For you are choosing to continue to express blame with yourself and guilt, and therefore, you wish not to listen to what I am expressing to you, for it is in opposition to what you are expressing within yourself.
AXEL: ...because we are different.
ELIAS: You are blaming yourself, and I am expressing to you that that is unnecessary. But you disagree, for your perception is that it is necessary to blame yourself, for that is what you are deserving of. (16-second pause)
ELIAS: Which, I express to you genuinely, is not true.
AXEL: Intellectually, I was of the same opinion.
ELIAS: Intellectually Ė experientially is quite different. You may understand concepts intellectually, but that actually offers you little genuine understanding if you are not allowing yourself to genuinely know by experiencing. There are many, many, many subjects, my friend, that many individuals understand intellectually but not experientially.
AXEL: (Sighs) Elias, may I continue?
ELIAS: You may.
AXEL: On many occasions, I feel Khadijaís presence, sometimes as if she were in close physical proximity, sometimes as if she is projecting a wonderful energy in my direction from somewhere else. Also, I have a feeling that Khadija is receiving my appreciation for her now more or more easily than at the time before she disengaged. I ask myself how valid is this projection and whether you are also involved in this connection, especially when I think of the two extraordinary experiences, the one with the automatic door on the train and the other one, the display of my radio while this Arabic song was playing.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct, and your experience is quite valid and quite real. As I have expressed, the veils of separation are thinning quite extensively, and one of those veils of separation that is becoming quite thin is that which you perceive to be between physical focus and nonphysical. You incorporate much more of an awareness, and those individuals that have disengaged also incorporate more of an awareness of how to be manipulating energy through layers of consciousness and creating an actual connection and interaction with those of you that continue within physical focus.
AXEL: Can you comment in particular on those two things? One is the automatic door on the train, while I was going to my hometown, which was starting to act funny.
ELIAS: Which was a combination of energies. That was a combination of my energy and her energy.
AXEL: Well done, Elias! (Elias laughs) And my radio while this Arabic song was playing?
ELIAS: That was a combination of my energy, her energy and your energy.
AXEL: (Sighs) I continue. What we have been talking about leads to many more questions. Can you somehow describe what Khadija is experiencing now? Is she aware that she has disengaged? When you are interacting with her, is she is aware that you are the Elias she had been in contact with before, during our session last year? Is she aware of me, and to what extent? How personalized is this awareness? Is she aware that Iím feeling her presence? Does she experience emotion? Does she have a perception in relation to this physical world in relation to time, people, events, or is she just projecting a physical reality like a hologram, maybe catching up some energies and playing around with imagery? Is she aware of herself as essence? Can you estimate a timeframe when she will be moving into transition, and will that cut my connection to her?
ELIAS: She is aware of my interaction and is aware of the association with you in relation to your interaction with myself. Therefore, she is aware of my identity, so to speak, but not as an individual. For the awareness of myself is more of an awareness of a presence and of energy, which is different than an awareness of a physical individual, but there is an understanding of what that presence is and what that energy is.
She is continuing to generate an objective perception, and therefore is also generating objective imagery that appears to be similar to your physical reality. She is somewhat aware that she has disengaged. She is not incorporating, yet, a recall of the disengagement itself, but is generating objective imagery in association with her perception of other individuals. In this, as I express that she somewhat incorporates an awareness that she has disengaged, the reason I express that is that she is becoming aware that she is not actually participating within your physical reality. She is aware of discrepancies that suggest that she is not actually participating within physical reality any longer.
She is aware of your energy; she is aware of the small oneís energy; she is aware of some other individualsí energies also. That temporarily has generated somewhat of a confusion in relation to deciphering whether she is continuing within physical focus or not, for she recognizes that she is actually receiving energy from you and these other individuals, but she is also recognizing that it is somewhat inconsistent with what she is projecting as objective imagery. Now...
AXEL: Is it that the element of surprise is missing in her scenarios?
ELIAS: Partially, but in this situation, it is not necessarily surprising but somewhat confusing, for she is aware that she is genuinely interacting with your energy and with other individualsí energies, for she is receiving your projections. But different imagery surrounding those interactions appears to her to be inconsistent, for however she is directing her attention in any moment, she is also creating physical imagery of that. Therefore, the imagery of her environment may change quickly and radically, but the interaction continues.
Therefore, as an example Ė this is a hypothetical example Ė she could be creating imagery of sitting within a room and engaging conversation with you, and as her attention moves, she may be continuing the interaction or the conversation with you but the physical environment surrounding you shall change. Therefore, within another moment you may not be sitting within a room. You may be walking across a beach. That is what is inconsistent and is somewhat confusing to her and is suggesting to her that she is no longer actually participating within physical focus.
But she is recognizing that she does incorporate the ability to receive the energy projections that you and other individuals are expressing. She is also experimenting with her own energy and projecting that to you and other individuals also.
AXEL: So she will even gain more skills.
ELIAS: (Laughs) In a manner of speaking, or realize more of her abilities. She is aware that she has participated in an action that was generated as a collective. She is not recalling, yet, the physical implication of that action, but she is aware that she has participated with many other individuals in generating a collective action. Eventually she shall recall the event also.
AXEL: One of my biggest interests is how is this going to continue? Is she is going to become aware of what happened, and she is going to extend her abilities of reading energies and projecting energies? But if sheís moving into transition, will the contact be cut?
ELIAS: No, not necessarily, for she may be engaging transition and continue to incorporate an attention which may continue to focus upon interaction.
Now; I may express to you, that interaction may change. It may become more defined and clearer, but it is not an automatic severing of the connection, a discontinuing, cutting. It would not be an automatic closing of your connection.
AXEL: (Sighs) So I wrote another question, but I think itís redundant after what you explained to me. It is can you translate a personal message from Khadija to me into words? But I donít think that is appropriate at this point in time.
ELIAS: I would be in agreement, for there is no actual message. It is more of a continued connection and interaction with your energy.
I may express to you that I am aware that her reception of your energy is being expressed in ease and in a comfort, and she is not receiving your energy in any type of expression of sorrow. I may express to you also, as I have to another individual in similar situation, this individual does not perceive negative or wrongdoing of you. There is no expression of energy that this individual is projecting other than appreciation.
AXEL: Is my impression correct that Khadija is receiving my appreciation now more unhampered?
ELIAS: Yes. That is all that she perceives. (Extended pause)
AXEL: I think Iím very interested to make this connection as close as possible. I was wondering if there is any particular kind of imagery that hints at her presence apart from these energy projections that I receive, a preference of hers?
ELIAS: Yes, actually not necessarily a preference but an experimentation with projecting her energy through these layers of consciousness.
I may express to you to be watchful of plants and at times to be watchful at the presentation to yourself of a creature, for it is more easily expressed in projection of energy to be affecting of a plant for it is a willing participant, and creatures are aware and actually see the energy projection of individuals that have disengaged. Therefore, you may notice one of your plants moving in a time framework in which it appears to you that it should not be moving. That may be your imagery to recognize the presence of her energy and that she is experimenting.
AXEL: And would that be a deliberate projection to me personally?
AXEL: How can I respond?
ELIAS: You may respond merely in acknowledging and allowing. You may visualize if you are so choosing. Your energy shall automatically respond to her and shall automatically be projected, but you may generate that in any manner that you choose that allows you to express your affection and your appreciation and your acknowledgment that you have received her projection.
AXEL: What is happening when I feel Khadija very physically close to myself?
ELIAS: That IS a projection of that energy.
AXEL: Is that a projection of hers?
AXEL: I do appreciate this so very much, and she is receiving the feedback?
AXEL: Is she enjoying it in the same way as I do?
ELIAS: Perhaps somewhat more, for she does not incorporate the element of sorrow.
AXEL: So itís better to be dead, then.
ELIAS: Not necessarily! (Elias laughs with Axel)
AXEL: Elias, a funny thing is that during maybe the second half of last year, I started to adopt several of Khadijaís routines and behaviors. Do you know what I mean?
ELIAS: Yes, and in this, you allow yourself to hold to some of her physical energy.
AXEL: But then she was alive.
ELIAS: I am aware, but you continue to incorporate that energy now.
AXEL: Was she aware that there was the probability she would disengage, a strong probability?
ELIAS: A potential, a subjective type of preparation.
AXEL: Preparation. Does that go together with the fact that she was sort of withdrawing but at the same time assuring me that she would always be close to me?
AXEL: Oh my god. (Sighs) All my impressions were correct, if I may say so.
AXEL: Elias, speaking about the bright side, in a sense it occurs to me that under the impression of those recent events, I have considerably reduced the judging in my life. I pay more attention, and Iíve incorporated an increased sense of being connected to other people.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct, and I am acknowledging of...
AXEL: Very, very significantly, in my opinion.
ELIAS: And I am acknowledging of you. You have received the message well.
AXEL: Yes, because I have a vested interest.
ELIAS: And that is to be acknowledged, my friend.
AXEL: I have a concern, and itís making me feel uncomfortable. Next week Iím going to return to my workplace. Iím afraid I will get very distracted and wonít pay attention anymore like that. Is there any...
ELIAS: I may express to you not to worry. Within your direction presently, that is quite unlikely. (Chuckles) Rather, perhaps you shall incorporate more of an expanded awareness incorporating your interaction with individuals within physical focus but also incorporating the continuance of your interaction with this individual.
AXEL: That sounds very encouraging.
ELIAS: I am aware that you are quite motivated, and I incorporate no doubt that you shall continue to be generating this connection. (Pause) And be encouraged Ė you speak with myself, do you not? And in your terms, I am quite dead! (Both laugh)
AXEL: Elias, before we quit, a few short questions.
ELIAS: Very well.
AXEL: Thank you. Could you hint at one, two or three other focuses I had with Khadija that I could investigate upon? Just the timeframe and what kind of relationship that was.
ELIAS: 1600s, Arabia, romantic relationship generated extensively in length and quite playful. You in that focus are the female and she the male.
AXEL: Thatís nice. I have a draw to Arabia.
ELIAS: Also, second century Greece, you incorporate relationship as siblings.
AXEL: Thatís interesting.
ELIAS: Another, you incorporate a relationship with each other, 18th century, in what is now identified as Alaska.
AXEL: Oh, thatís why sometimes when I close my eyes I have Eskimo imagery.
ELIAS: Yes. (Chuckles)
AXEL: Am I the woman?
ELIAS: In that focus, you are the male.
AXEL: And we are a couple?
ELIAS: Yes, and it incorporate several children Ė quite round in face! (Laughs with Axel)
AXEL: For something completely different, I was aware of a sound in my left ear, and now, if I listen close, it appears to me as if there is another sound more in the center of my head, which is more subtle and which is on a very high frequency and is fluctuating. Iím wondering what that means.
ELIAS: That is associated with you and generating an opening of neurological pathways that allows you to be more open to these energy projections.
AXEL: But there is no specific translation for that, itís just a signal or itís just a side effect of the biological change?
AXEL: Iím wondering what is the meaning of the number imagery I have been getting since I was a child, those combinations of the numbers 1 and 2. Iím thinking itís related to duality.
ELIAS: In what capacity?
AXEL: That there is always an opposite which makes a complement.
ELIAS: Correct. In this, the eight is not actually an eight. It is a connecting symbol between the 1 and the 2. Were you to turn the eight upon its side, it would become the connecting symbol.
AXEL: Itís the symbol of infinity.
ELIAS: Correct, the infinite connection of the complements.
AXEL: Again, something completely different. Last year, you told me that my (inaudible) eyes are a signal of my generating an energy of laziness, and I have these (inaudible) eyes very often, lately. Does that mean that Iím that lazy?
ELIAS: (Laughs) Or rather that you are merely allowing yourself to not be incorporating such rigidness.
AXEL: So, itís not lazy. I mean, thatís a difference, at least in my judgment.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
AXEL: So different meaning, then.
AXEL: So I can create the same symptom and associate a different meaning with it?
AXEL: One last question.
ELIAS: Very well.
AXEL: Khadija had some very close friends that I never got to know or hardly got to know. Iíve never had their telephone numbers, they donít have mine, but I found someone who sent them my request to get in touch. Both of them have replied that they do not wish to have contact with me at the moment, and that was very (inaudible). Could you tell me whatís the reason for that?
ELIAS: The other individuals are experiencing their own loss in their own manner and do not necessarily incorporate similar information as you. In that, there is a resistance to engaging other expressions of involvement with her.
AXEL: Is that a religious conflict also?
ELIAS: Somewhat. It is associated with the individualsí beliefs, but it is also associated with their manner of expressing loss and their own grief. It is not a reflection of you.
AXEL: Thanks for that. So, time is up.
ELIAS: Very well, my friend. Accept from myself my genuine appreciation and affection to you, and also accept my suggestion that you express a gentleness with yourself and attempt to not be expressing blame with yourself.
I encourage you in your interaction, and I encourage you to be playful in your interaction, and remind you of your plants. (Chuckles) To you, my friend, in great lovingness and in friendship, au revoir.
AXEL: Au revoir.
Elias departs after 1 hour, 15 minutes
© 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.