Thursday, May 29, 2003
ďCreating the Relationship that I WantĒ
ďSoft Expressions: Continuous Interaction and Comforting PreferencesĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Daryl (Ashrah).
Elias arrives at 4:11 PM. (Arrival time is 15 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
DARYL: Hi there! (Elias chuckles) As you might be aware, my personal world has been shifting and Iíve actually been having fun.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Such a novelty!
DARYL: Yeah, really! (Both laugh)
One of the things that Iíve been doing more is holding my attention on self, and Iíve gotten a better feeling for it. Iíve realized that I havenít really done it in a session, and I would like to try doing that during this session. If thereís anything you could do to assist that process, I would appreciate it, or any information you want to give me subjectively about that subject in general.
ELIAS: Very well. (Chuckles)
DARYL: First of all, Iíve gotten the names of four different Georges from other people who had impressions that that might be one of mine, so I want to check on that. The first one is from Sandel. I do feel a connection with her; itís Georgia OíKeefe.
ELIAS: Observing essence.
DARYL: I was thinking she might actually be a focus. Another one is George Frideric Handel.
ELIAS: This is another observing essence.
DARYL: George Bernard Shaw?
ELIAS: Ah. Now; this is not a focus of you, but you do incorporate a focus with that individual.
DARYL: Thatís somebody that he knows?
ELIAS: Quite well.
DARYL: I know very little about him, but Iíll look into him. If I investigate him, is this someone whose name might come up in relation to him?
DARYL: This oneís from Oona and it seems really off the wall to me, but George Washington.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) This, in actuality, is reaching in association with the name George.
DARYL: So there is no association there?
ELIAS: No. You do incorporate a focus in that time framework, but not directly associated with that individual.
DARYL: And the focus I have is not named George either, right?
ELIAS: Actually, the individual in that time framework does incorporate the physical naming of George.
DARYL: Oh my goodness, another one, then Ė another focus of George for me. So I have a focus named George in that time period who is not associated with Washington?
ELIAS: Correct, not directly.
DARYL: And that isnít a well-known person, I take it.
ELIAS: A soldier.
DARYL: I thought I might have one, but Iíve never gotten any kind of Revolutionary stuff. Well, Iím always glad to see another George to help me figure this out! (Elias laughs)
I also had some of my own impressions. I wanted to know, am I an observing essence of Gertrude Stein?
DARYL: Is that throughout?
ELIAS: No, throughout the time framework in which that individual incorporates a relationship with another individual, not throughout younger years.
DARYL: Is that other individual one Iíve already discussed with you, the observing essence of that?
DARYL: Thatís interesting. I wondered if I was observing essence of Robert E. Lee.
DARYL: Oh, wow, thatís nice. Is that throughout his focus?
DARYL: No wonder I felt like that when I was in the South, then! (Elias chuckles) Another singer-songwriter, Cheryl Wheeler?
DARYL: Now, Iíve noticed thatís the fourth singer-songwriter in this timeframe. Am I doing some kind of special thing about them right now, or is it just that I have observing essences all over the place?
ELIAS: You do incorporate many observing essence roles.
DARYL: Iím kind of honing in on this particular type of them.
ELIAS: Correct, for this is an interest and a preference, and therefore you are offering yourself impressions and information in relation to your preferences in this focus.
DARYL: I know they all fit in with my love of words, among other things. Do I have a male focus in San Francisco named Mr. Hyde?
DARYL: Thatís his actual name?
DARYL: Would that be in the early 1800s?
DARYL: Do I have other focuses in San Francisco? I seem to have a thing for that city.
DARYL: Was I there during the 1906 quake?
DARYL: That will be a fun area to investigate. (Both laugh) Not that I want to go back to that quake!
When I read Myrandaís list of observing essences, I came across the name William Carrington, who is a servant in England, and I had a reaction. Do I have some kind of connection to him?
ELIAS: You incorporate a focus that is known to that individual.
DARYL: I was wondering if my future focus Clayton is a stand-up comedian.
ELIAS: Partially, yes.
DARYL: Is he involved with his brother Jerome in that?
ELIAS: In some capacities, yes.
DARYL: Oona wants to know if Louisa Calder is a focus of her.
DARYL: Is Harpo Marx a focus of Ling-Tu?
ELIAS: Observing essence.
DARYL: Would that be throughout his life?
DARYL: I was trying to see if I could pick up the name of a future focus of hers and I got the name Andrew. Is that a future focus?
DARYL: Is he at the Alterversity?
DARYL: Great. Is Princess Margaret a focus of Sandel?
ELIAS: No. There is another focus that incorporates a tremendous admiration for that individual, which is a focus of Sandel.
DARYL: Is that the same one you referred to before, when we were talking about Camilla Parker Bowles, someone in that circle?
DARYL: Iíll pass that along to her. On behalf of Camden and Iris, I wanted to ask is Louis IV a focus of Iris?
DARYL: No observing essence or anything?
DARYL: Is Iris, the goddess of rainbows, a focus of Iris?
DARYL: Does Fontine have a future focus named Alia?
ELIAS: Alia, yes.
DARYL: A-L-I-A, is that correct?
DARYL: Is she at the Alterversity?
DARYL: Did she show Fontine another focus who was castrated?
DARYL: This is an impression of mine. Is Toulaine an observing essence of Lily Langtry?
ELIAS: Observing essence, yes.
DARYL: Would that be throughout or just a portion?
DARYL: I have some questions regarding the woman Iím involved with that we discussed last time. First off, she wonders, is she politically focused?
DARYL: I didnít think she was emotional. That clears something up for me! (Both laugh) Do we have a focus as female lovers in India?
DARYL: Is that in the 1400s?
DARYL: Now that would be three that Iím aware of. Is there another one or more as female lover focuses?
DARYL: Is one of them in Egypt?
DARYL: Is there another one in addition to that?
DARYL: Does that involve Edna Ferber?
DARYL: I also wondered if we have one or more focuses as male lovers.
DARYL: Is one of those in Russia?
DARYL: Do we have more than one as males?
ELIAS: Yes, you do.
DARYL: I donít suppose you want to say how many? (Both laugh) How about as heterosexual lovers? Do we have one of those?
DARYL: So we kind of seem to like to do that in various forms! (Elias laughs) Thatís interesting.
Are some of the conflict or communication troubles between the two of us the difference between the political and emotional focus?
ELIAS: Partially, yes.
DARYL: I have a question from Leland and Allesander that is as follows. Anjuli has received an impression that there is an Atlantean focus named BahíRand, who is the A-N-D pyramid fifth point and is a focus of Mark/Baruch. Can you confirm this?
DARYL: Thatís all the focus questions for right now.
One of the main things I want to talk with you today is about the energy block. One of the things I was doing over a period of a few months was finding connections with other focuses of mine that have experiences with fear or death that were somehow kind of wired into my energy block. Is that correct?
DARYL: One of the things I wondered is do I have a focus who was buried alive?
DARYL: That wasnít Marie, though, was it?
DARYL: Iíve tried to get more information on this, but I havenít. I had a dream that was really upsetting to me. I was a woman. I was in a room or a house with several other people, and it seemed to me that something really traumatic had happened to me. The way that I dealt with that was by totally forgetting it or acting like it didnít exist, and I was supported in that by the people surrounding me. Then a group of people, like about three men, came into the room, and I think that they were the people that did whatever it was to me. That kind of unraveled me because I was no longer able to maintain my denial of the event happening. Is that an actual focus event?
DARYL: I did get a flash that that might be my focus Marian, whoís in 1600s United States.
DARYL: Was it some kind of sexual assault?
DARYL: Is there anything else you can tell me about that that would be helpful to me in terms of understanding the energy block? I really do want to dismantle it, and Iím trying to figure out how everythingís hooked together.
ELIAS: This was not merely an association with sexual activity but also in a presentment of other individuals expressing in a threatening manner, which may bear an association with you in relation to your perception that other individuals may be expressing some element of threat which they may not necessarily be actually expressing.
DARYL: It seemed like it was a very powerful experience in that focus. What happened to her after she saw those men and she couldnít deny it anymore? Did she like have a nervous breakdown or anything?
ELIAS: Not in the terms that you associate with. But this has been quite disturbing to that individual and has been quite influencing of the choices and directions that the individual engaged subsequently.
DARYL: Thank you for letting me know more about that, because I really couldnít seem to get it. (Elias chuckles)
In terms of the energy block, my understanding is that it has a lot to do with my duplicity about my orientation and my desire for interaction. Thereís a great deal of judgment around that based on mass beliefs that weíve talked about before. I feel the energy block is also there to like stop me from expressing that and expressing other parts of myself, but especially having to do with interaction. Iím also aware that thatís resulted in a lot of pain, and I also know that this is part of my intent in terms of exploring separation and that that involves some duplicity and fear, etcetera.
Actually, right before I got the transcript from Vermont discussing what we value, the week before I had gotten that I do value this pain and then I got more information about that when I was reading the transcript. I also wake up in the morning sometimes stating to myself very clearly that Iím choosing this in terms of being here. Weíve also discussed in the past my most frequent automatic response of ďI donít like thisĒ and my judgment about my experiences here and my anger about being here.
I feel like that is pretty much what I know about whatís going on, that thereís a great deal of energy and a great deal of my attention tied up in this subject matter and the energy block. I guess, in a way I feel like I havenít forgiven myself for choosing the intent that I chose. I feel like I have this ongoing conflict with myself about being here and the pain involved in being here.
I also had an experience in the past 48 hours where I was creating my attention being outside of self, and I was creating disruption in my relationship. I was aware when I was doing it that I now had the capability of moving my attention back to self. I was choosing, for a couple of times during that period, to keep my attention outside of self where the pain was, rather than pulling my attention back into self when I knew that I could do it. I feel like that experience was also to make me aware of something particular, regarding that right now.
I donít know exactly where to start talking about this, but I would like to understand whatís going on and how I can move through this and clear the block.
ELIAS: First of all, recognize what you are actually doing and how you are directing your attention. You are aware that you are choosing some actions. Recognize that your continued concentration upon this particular expression perpetuates it.
DARYL: (Sighs) I feel like a lot of my attention is there without me thinking about it, which Iíve just kind of become aware of.
ELIAS: Correct, for your attention is not your thoughts. It may move to your thoughts, but it is not your thoughts.
DARYL: Even if I donít happen to be thinking about it, it seems like thatís kind of a focal point for my focus, actually.
ELIAS: Not necessarily, but it has become a focal point in your attention. But this is not a focal point of your focus, and it is not a focal point in relation to your intent or your value fulfillment.
Now; I am not expressing that you do not incorporate some value in relation to this expression, but that also is changeable. It is not an absolute.
DARYL: (Sighs) In terms of my intent, I know there is a point where I kind of change and go in a different direction, and I really feel like this is the time Iím doing it.
ELIAS: This, in a manner of speaking, is your own presentment of a type of test to yourself in relation to your desires and in association with what you want.
Now; you have begun to create what you want, and you are presenting yourself with a type of test to evaluate whether you shall allow yourself to continue to create what you want or whether you shall move into the familiar once again and generate the protection and therefore create the shield and the camouflages.
DARYL: So if Iím in a situation again like the past couple of days where Iím creating conflict, do I now pretty much always have the choice to just turn and move my attention to myself and go in the direction that I want?
DARYL: Thatís always available to me?
ELIAS: Examine what you are actually doing in the moments that you are choosing intentionally to not move your attention. You allowed yourself to experience an objective awareness that you do incorporate choice, that you were projecting your attention outside of yourself, and that you objectively knew that you incorporated the ability to alter that expression in the moment but you chose to not.
Now; in moments such as this, you are also offering yourself information, which you may genuinely examine in that moment what it is that you actually want. For you are intentionally choosing an action and incorporating that action, thinking that it is not what you want, but you continue it.
Therefore, what are you accomplishing that you want to be accomplishing, even if it is not being accomplished in what you view to be the best manner? For you do incorporate assessments of different actions and that the incorporation of certain movements, certain actions, are better than other actions. Therefore, in any given movement, in any given expression, there are manners in which you may accomplish in a better or worse manner.
Now; you may express to yourself within your perception that the manner in which you have accomplished is not a better manner. You may assess within your evaluation and your judgments that it may be expressed in a worse manner. But what have you accomplished in your choice?
DARYL: (Sighs) I know when my attention is outside of self and stuff, Iím afraid that Iím choosing the familiar thing and that Iím going to harm the relationship or destroy it.
ELIAS: And if you hold to that association and continue to allow that expressed belief without incorporating your choices and your trust of yourself and the allowance of yourself to express freely, so you shall, for this is what you shall concentrate upon and thusly that shall be what you create.
DARYL: The other thing that was different in this experience was that while I was aware that I was choosing to keep my attention outside of self, I did kind of check in on my fear of destroying things; but I felt this knowledge in me that what happened to the relationship was up to me and that whatever I was doing was not endangering the relationship because I was creating the relationship. I donít know exactly how to express it because I havenít felt like that before. I felt like I can do this and it wonít have any long-term effect because Iím the one whoís really creating the relationship. Do you know what I mean?
DARYL: So was that an acknowledgment on my part that I do have more choices than if I do act then what is going to happen to the relationship?
DARYL: That was a lot of information in those experiences.
DARYL: I felt this sense of Ė I donít know Ė peace or something. It was like I could go and do this but it wasnít going to hurt anything.
The other thing that I discussed with you before had to do with aspects of sexual energy that were somewhat male. Thatís kind of the best word to describe them. In relation to that, I noticed also that that kind of matches moving my attention on self and being more confident and asserting my own power. Is there like an association between those two movements, claiming my power and the sexual aspects kind of asserting themselves?
DARYL: I have tried to give that expression and let that go. I thought it was, but then lately I created some imagery that made me think it wasnít. Am I expressing that adequately or am I blocking it somehow?
ELIAS: In the sexual expression?
DARYL: Not necessarily physical. I donít know ... yeah, in those aspects that are trying to surface, things like confidence or the actual physical things.
ELIAS: This is actually, Ashrah, an example to you of allowing yourself to genuinely move your attention to you in interaction with another individual. What is meant in that is not that you are not paying attention to the other individual but that you are paying attention to your preferences, to what YOU want and to the allowance of yourself to freely express yourself without hindering yourself, without questioning yourself, and without incorporating the hesitation in relation to a fear of how it may be received.
DARYL: I feel like Iím creating it being less well received now than I was originally.
ELIAS: But this is an expression of your doubt and your movement into questioning of yourself and not allowing yourself that free expression.
Now you present yourself with a different configuration. Initially, you incorporated a perception of attraction and appreciation but with little expectations. You have turned that expression and have moved into an automatic association in relation to your beliefs which are associated with relationships.
Once you attach that term ďrelationshipĒ to your interaction, you trigger your beliefs concerning relationships and the configuration of them. You also trigger your expectations with regard to relationships. The influence of these beliefs expresses itself in you doubting yourself, restricting your expressions, becoming cautious, and projecting your attention to the other individual in wonder and anticipation of what they may be perceiving.
DARYL: So Iím making it the other personís choice.
ELIAS: You are, somewhat. You are waiting. You are moving yourself into the familiar role in association with your beliefs, your expressed beliefs of responsiveness, to be allowing yourself your expressions only in responsiveness.
In this, another influence is that you look to the other individual for permission to be expressing yourself. Another influence is that you are looking to the other individual for what you want Ė not looking to yourself for what you want to express, but looking to the other individual in association with what they may offer to you.
These are all influences associated with your expressed belief concerning the configuration of a relationship, the manner in which a relationship should be expressed and should be configured and should be progressing.
DARYL: (Sighs) I do feel that when I hold my attention on self and I feel like I create my own unique reality, Iím handling all these things differently in a way that I think will create a relationship. Is that accurate if Iím holding my attention on self?
ELIAS: Yes, and allowing yourself to be not restricting yourself and to allow yourself your freedom of your expression, allowing yourself to express your appreciation for yourself and for the other individual, not to be moving into the familiar automatic responses associated with your beliefs of generating expectations of the other individual and their behavior and what they shall offer to you, but what you shall offer.
DARYL: (Sighs) Is there anything you want to add that would help me in terms of creating the relationship that I want?
ELIAS: Pay attention to your interactions. Pay attention to how you are responsive in your interactions, and practice with evaluating within a moment. As I express to you to be evaluating, I am not expressing to you to be incorporating a tremendous thought process in analyzation, but merely a simple instantaneous evaluation of what you are actually engaging. What is the importance of it in that moment? Is it actually important to be expressing in certain manners? And the manners in which you are expressing, are they genuinely an expression of your preferences, are they genuinely what you want in the moment, or are they automatic responses?
Listen to your emotional communications. Listen to those communications that are expressing frustration or agitation, and allow yourself to evaluate what is generating that communication Ė not the other individual! What are YOU doing within yourself that is generating that communication? What association are you generating?
DARYL: (Sighs) One other thing that I wanted to check was regarding the natural flow of soft. I read a quote recently where you talked about a continuous energy exchange and objective awareness of that. Since I began interacting with this person, I do feel continuously an interaction in energy whether weíre around each other or not, or sheís awake or not, and I do hold an awareness of it. If Iím not aware at any moment and I look for it, I can find it. Is that what youíre talking about?
ELIAS: That is one expression of it, yes.
DARYL: Iím really trying to understand the natural expression of soft. As I understand it, you said that that particular thing has been misunderstood in terms of it being a continuous interaction but it isnít necessarily a physical interaction.
ELIAS: Correct. You are quite correct.
DARYL: Iím actually understanding that thatís a natural part of soft, then.
ELIAS: Yes, and it may not necessarily be a continuous interaction with other individuals. This orientation of soft generates a continuous interaction with other expressions of your world. It may be other individuals; it may be other manifestations. You generate a distinction between what you deem to be living and not living, and you therefore generate a different type of interaction with those manifestations that you deem to be living.
Individuals incorporating this orientation of soft generate less distinction of energy of any manifestation that is living, and therefore may generate a continuous interaction of energy and move it between any expression of living manifestations Ė be they creatures, be they vegetation, be they individuals. Your distinction of the energy is slight, and therefore any interaction in energy with any expression of living manifestation is an expression of your continuous interaction.
Let me express to you, were you to be isolated from any and all living energy as you deem it to be, I may express, as a soft individual you would be quite miserable.
DARYL: Does this interaction also involve other focuses of mine?
ELIAS: Yes. As you become more aware of yourself, you shall notice that your interactiveness is continuous. Regardless of whether you are incorporating one of your time frameworks in which you are isolating, in your terms, you continue to be interactive.
You may be interactive with your creatures, you may be interactive with your plants, you may be interactive with other focuses, but you are continuously interactive with some element of living energy. Even in the time frameworks in which you do not perceive yourself to be directly interactive, you are, for you surround yourself with that energy.
DARYL: So I could become more aware of that, what Iím doing with that, also?
DARYL: Is that like a multiple attention thing or similar to that, in that I could be doing it in a lot of different directions at the same time?
DARYL: I have been having the heat, and we talked about that last time that I was discounting without thought. I also had a sense a while ago that I had added the choice to change it in any moment.
DARYL: Now it seems to be kind of winding down. Is there anything else that Iím missing about that?
ELIAS: It is a choice of how you direct your energy.
DARYL: This is kind of about how I create my reality and my language to myself. I have a pattern in the past of finding things that I really appreciate in physical reality and then they are somehow discontinued, in that they stop making them or I canít find them anymore. That, of course, is kind of like the victim idea of creating my reality because someone else is creating it.
One of the things that I really loved that disappeared was a certain kind of pretzel stick. A few months ago, I noticed in my reality that a new manufacturer was making pretzel sticks exactly like I like them, and theyíve reappeared in my reality. I felt that that was a specific imagery and communication to myself that I do actually create all of my reality and that I have everything that I want within me.
DARYL: Anything else you want to say about that? I think that was a really neat thing for me to do.
ELIAS: This is also associated with your preferences.
DARYL: Because thatís something I prefer?
ELIAS: Yes, and in paying attention to your preferences and being aware of your preferences, you also allow yourself to generate the expressions of them.
I may express to you, although all individuals incorporate some challenge in association with identifying their preferences and allowing themselves to express them, in the example that you have offered this too is somewhat associated with your orientation.
ELIAS: Yes. Many, many, many individuals incorporate very similar types of experiences in association with this orientation of soft. For what you generate is incorporating certain preferences to certain physical manifestations Ė in a manner of speaking, it is an expression of comfort, so to speak. Individuals incorporating this orientation of soft engage change in a volume, and are expressing much communications and are incorporating a volume of stimulus, so to speak, in relation to both awarenesses.
Now; generally speaking, for the most part most of you create certain preferences that within your associations you deem to be small but stable, certain manifestations that you do not incorporate thought concerning them. You appreciate certain manifestations and you like them to remain the same. But in the nature of your natural movement in alteration of your expressions so consistently, you also many times generate certain manifestations of comfort to disappear.
I may express to you, were you to be incorporating interaction with other individuals of this orientation and express that example of your pretzels, you may be generating quite a responsiveness from the other individuals of this orientation. For they, too, experience these types of manifestations in which they generate some product that they prefer and that are of a stable comfort expression to them, and subsequently they generate that product to disappear.
Now; you have generated the reappearance of it. Other individuals also in creative manners do reappear some other product which may be quite similar to that original product that they preferred. Therefore, they do not permanently eliminate their objective expression of their preference. But in your natural flow of energy in alteration and such continuous change, you reconfigure.
DARYL: Wow, I never would have thought that over some pretzel sticks! (Both laugh) We have a little soft mailing-list at the moment. Maybe Iíll bring up the pretzel sticks and see if people relate to that.
ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs)
DARYL: Weíre running short on time. I guess one of the things I wanted to know was I seem to be beginning to generate some money coming back into my reality. Am I kind of turning the corner and going back to being able to create abundance and money?
ELIAS: If you are so choosing. You are beginning to offer yourself more of an expression of trust that you do incorporate the ability to move in that direction.
DARYL: I figured that if I could create a relationship, I should be able to create anything else! (Both laugh) I guess Iím not sure if Iíve created the relationship yet. (Elias laughs)
On the name George Ė when I did look into that, the only thing I got was that that name itself seems to give me a sense of foundation and stability.
DARYL: Is there more to learn about that, or is that kind of it?
ELIAS: For the most part that is your association with that physical naming.
DARYL: Does that have to do with tone or with something else?
ELIAS: It has an association somewhat with tone, but more so with the association of sound and how that resonates with you in association with your beliefs of strength.
DARYL: So it sounds strong to me?
DARYL: Well, I see we are out of time. I didnít get all my questions, but I got a lot of them. Iím probably going to talk to you fairly soon because I want to Ė I donít know Ė have you available to me if I do this relationship thing!
ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs)
DARYL: And all the rest of the time too, when weíre not on the phone like this, I want you to hang out with me and help me with that, too.
ELIAS: And so I shall. You may offer my greetings to the other individual also.
DARYL: I will. I know that she will very much enjoy that. (Elias laughs) I assume that you are around her, even though sheís not aware of that?
ELIAS: Yes, continuously. (Laughs)
DARYL: Iíll tell her that, too. Well, thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next discussion. To you as always, my friend, in great affection, au revoir.
DARYL: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 5:14 PM.
© 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.