Friday, May 30, 2003
ďThe Drive for Mastery and ExcellenceĒ
ďThe Belief in Position: All Should Be EqualĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Laura (Belagia).
Elias arrives at 1:29 PM. (Arrival time is 17 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
LAURA: Good morning, Elias! Thatís pretty good, since itís afternoon where you are Ė or where Maryís body is! Itís morning where I am. I donít know how it works, Elias! (Elias laughs)
I was just telling Mary before Ė she and I were chatting Ė that I was kind of a blank, but then as we were chatting I was able to think of a few things that Iím interested in exploring today.
ELIAS: Very well.
LAURA: Iíve been really observing my life from the position of I create all of my own reality. As much as I remember to do that, Iíve been doing that. If, for example, my daughter says something to me, I may react to it in an ordinary fashion at first, but then Iíll go back and evaluate, and say, ďI created that expression to be in my awareness,Ē and so Iíll look at that expression. Iíve been trying to do that in a lot of different ways. I sort of fell off the wagon the last few days in a certain way, but Iíve been focusing on doing that more, looking at what Iím actually doing rather than just what Iím thinking about, that kind of thing.
A couple of days ago my daughter brought up one of my big issues, which is that she feels sad that she wasnít really, really good at something, like better than anybody else at something. Of course, sheís only six, but I realized when she said it that thatís one of my issues. Iíve always wanted to have mastery in some area of physical life, I guess. I was wondering if we could discuss the belief system behind that and how that works in my life.
ELIAS: Very well. And what do you identify?
LAURA: In a certain way I think I have hurt myself with that ideal in my life. Itís like I have this ideal Laura, and I havenít measured up to that ideal. As Iíve looked at some of the other focuses that Iíve identified, thereís that same theme, I believe, in some of these other focuses of mine.
ELIAS: Which is quite understandable for, generally speaking, in investigating other focuses you shall draw to yourself those focuses that express similar experiences or similar directions, even if the experiences may be different.
LAURA: So that I can look at that?
LAURA: So itís not true through all my focuses, that theyíre all interested in mastery in some area of physical expression?
ELIAS: No. But in some, yes, there is a type of theme in that expression and the desire to accomplish in that manner.
Now; what do you identify in your expressed beliefs that may be even one that is influencing of you in this scenario?
LAURA: Another focus thatís influencing me? I donít understand the question, Iím sorry.
ELIAS: No. What do you identify in a belief, even one belief, that is influencing you in association with this movement?
LAURA: Iím not sure of the belief system, but I can tell you one of the birds in the cage. I donít know what the whole cage is Ė put it that way. Thereís a belief that in being a master of something, say in piano or dance or something like that, if I was to master a skill like that, then I would feel joyful about that.
The creative expression that Iíve worked on a lot in my life has been the piano, and I always end up at a place where I hit a wall. I havenít allowed myself to get beyond this place with it, and I disappoint myself there. Iím not sure how to put that into ďI believe blah, blah, blah,Ē but thatís the experience that I have with it.
ELIAS: Very well.
Now; in attempting to identify the belief more specifically, you incorporate the action of examining what your motivation is and what you view is the outcome that you shall achieve and the payoff that you shall achieve if you were to allow yourself to accomplish this action. Are you understanding?
LAURA: I think so.
ELIAS: In examining what your motivation is in association with this drive, so to speak Ė for this may not necessarily be identified clearly as a want but more as a force that you are generating Ė there are expressions that motivate you in that direction, in which you push yourself to be accomplishing, but you also disappoint yourself in not accomplishing in what you expect of yourself.
Now; in the examination of that information, what do you speculate may be an influencing belief?
LAURA: Does it have something to do with the belief system of relationships? Iím just thinking about when I was growing up. I would play the piano and somehow it would set me apart or something. I would spend so much time practicing, and that was weird and different than the way my other friends lived their lives. I liked to read a lot and so I had a very good vocabulary, but in order to fit in with my friends, who would laugh at me for using big words, I sort of suppressed that aspect of myself so that I could fit in. Iím wondering if it has to do with that, that along with the joy of playing the piano, there was also this fear that it would make me odd and not fit in, so I suppressed that ability to be as skillful as I would like to be.
Now; the reason that I am engaging this direction of questioning with you is, in a manner of speaking, to prompt you to be viewing more specifically and allowing yourself to identify expressed beliefs that you incorporate that are influencing. This is significant, that you allow yourself not merely to pay attention to what you are doing and paying attention to yourself and holding your attention in the now. Initially that has been important and a step, so to speak, in this process of shifting. But you and many other individuals now are becoming somewhat familiar with noticing, with paying more attention to yourselves and holding your attention more efficiently in the now. I am aware that you do not generate this action consistently, but you are becoming more aware of the action and more familiar with the action.
In this, now, within the process, you move into another layer of it, so to speak, more specifically. In this more specific direction, you may begin Ė as you may be noticing now in this discussion Ė that you may allow yourself to identify a general category of beliefs, but you are not yet being specific with yourself as to any one particular belief Ė not a belief system, but a particular belief Ė and allowing yourself to recognize the influences that that belief expresses in relation to your perception, and therefore how it is affecting of you in your automatic responses, in your choices, even influencing your thinking, for it is expressing information which your thinking translates in conjunction with the concentration upon the belief.
LAURA: As you were talking, my observation of my whole life and my thinking process got wider and wider. Itís a common theme throughout my thinking process, this theme of perfectionism, isnít it?
ELIAS: Yes, which this is influenced by several beliefs. But our point this day is merely to identify one as an example, that you may begin to familiarize yourself with the process of identifying any one belief that is affecting and therefore allowing yourself to recognize how many influences one belief may incorporate within your focus in association with many different expressions, many different scenarios, not merely one.
Now; in this, you identify that you are paying attention to and aware of a direction and a behavior and an association that you generate in viewing yourself to push yourself in an expectation of perfectionism and excelling in certain directions in certain expressions to a point of excellence that sets you apart from other individuals, in your perception; but you do not accomplish that, for you do not wish to be set apart from other individuals.
Now; this is an identification of two of the influences. These are identifications of influences of a belief.
Now; one belief that you incorporate as an expressed belief is that if you are generating some outward ability that evidences excellence in some manner that you shall be viewed as valuable. You shall view yourself as special and therefore valuable, and other individuals shall view you as valuable.
But what occurs in not allowing yourself to identify and examine a belief, such as this one that is identified, is that you generate automatic responses to it, and it may be influencing of your choices and your expressions in manners that at times may even appear to you to be contradictory to the belief itself; but in actuality, they are not contrary to the belief. Beliefs express many, many, many different types of influences and affectingnesses in association with their expression.
Now; in not identifying them and in not recognizing them, you limit your choices and you do not incorporate an objective understanding of how to move in other manners, and therefore you restrict yourself. In this, although the belief that is expressed concerns the display of excellence, which shall generate a valuing of yourself and from other individuals, it also couples with duplicity.
Now; how shall the element of duplicity be influencing with this one belief? For all beliefs are not black and white, and they are not absolute. Therefore, there are many, many variables in how they may be influencing of you.
Now; as you couple the element of duplicity with this one belief, now you move into other influences. For if you are setting yourself apart, this may be good or it may be bad. It may be good in some scenarios. But in other scenarios it may be bad, for it may be viewed as elevating yourself above other individuals, and your automatic response to that influence is negative.
LAURA: Right. I have to always find the common ground.
Now; let me express to you that the key term in this belief is ďvalue.Ē Therefore, you examine what it is that motivates you to seek the value of yourself in other individuals through the action of excelling to excellence. (1)
Let me qualify and express to you that there is no wrong expression in generating excellence in any action, in any expression. What is significant is what motivates that. If you are generating what you term to be excellence in association with playing the piano and it is motivated from a genuine appreciation of that action and a genuine preference, and you are generating that excellence as a free expression of yourself, this is one motivation. If you are generating forcing your energy to accomplish that action and that expression with the motivation that other individuals shall value your expression and therefore value you more, or that you shall value yourself more if you accomplish this action Ė for your worthiness is only expressed in the accomplishment of the excellence and the better, and if the better is not accomplished, it is reflective of your own value and your own worthiness Ė this is quite another type of motivation, one that warrants examination.
LAURA: Iíve experienced all of the above. As far as the piano goes, itís been one of the loves of my life, and itís also been very painful because of these conflicting beliefs, I think. So Iíve just ended up not dealing with it, but it keeps coming back because, of course, I want to deal with it.
ELIAS: Perhaps you may allow yourself to recognize your preference in association with this expression of creativity and allow yourself to merely appreciate your ability to be generating that action. In appreciating how you incorporate that action and incorporating the creativity, knowing that it is a recognized preference, your energy changes and you allow yourself to relax, and in that type of energy you also allow yourself to naturally accomplish more of what you want.
But it is significant to identify what it is that you want. Do you want to incorporate this action of playing the piano for it is a genuine preference and you genuinely appreciate the action and it is an expression of genuine pleasure to you? Or do you want to accomplish certain actions in playing the piano to be expressing some expectation of proof to yourself or proving to other individuals your value?
LAURA: Right. Are you asking me what I want?
ELIAS: I am merely presenting...
LAURA: Playing out what the possibilities are.
Now; also recognize, my friend, that you are a unique individual. You express unique qualities. Therefore, in your terms, you already are special, for you are your own unique individual and all of the qualities that you express are unique to you in how you express them. Therefore, in one manner of speaking, you already are set apart from other individuals, but in another manner of speaking, you are not. You are a participant in a collective in which you fit, for it is not necessary to discount your uniqueness to accomplish ďfittingĒ and the lack of separation.
LAURA: Itís interesting to me how difficult this is for me to get to, because I thought I knew myself pretty well. But for whatever reason, it is hard for me to express myself about this whole thing. What you said earlier is very appealing to me, the genuine appreciation of the action of playing the piano and generating excellence as a free expression of self.
LAURA: I think Iíve always had that inner awareness that thatís the truth about it...
LAURA: ...yet thereís all of this other stuff mucking up those works.
ELIAS: One very strongly expressed belief that you incorporate that is tremendously influencing is concerning position Ė your position as an individual and how you express yourself, and that your position should not be above or below any other individual, but equal to.
LAURA: Oh, yeah! I know! (Laughs) But when you say it, my first thought was isnít that how itís supposed to be, that we donít elevate ourselves above or think of ourselves as below anybody else, that weíre all equal? Yet at the same time, I see how Iíve hindered and hampered my expression so much because of that belief.
ELIAS: Correct, for this IS a belief. It is not a truth. It is a belief and it is expressed, and it is tremendously influencing in many, many, many different manners, even influencing in generating the expressions of being above or below and not equal, and generating associations that either of those expressions is bad.
What you are examining in this one action of incorporating playing the piano does not concern being above or below any other individual. It concerns you and your preference and your joy, not whether you are better than another individual or worse than another individual. You are uniquely you. The more that you allow yourself that freedom to be uniquely you and to express yourself in your creativity, in your passion of it, the more you express your own unique excellence.
LAURA: Iím glad I walked down this road with you today. What I hear you say is this is a core belief with me.
ELIAS: It is a strongly expressed belief, yes.
LAURA: My personality has been strongly, strongly influenced throughout this focus.
LAURA: I see that. Iím thinking about the other issue I was going to ask you about today and now Iím seeing how this belief completely influences that other seemingly unrelated topic that I was going to talk to you about.
ELIAS: This is the point, my friend, in what I am expressing to you. These expressed beliefs are tremendously influencing, and they influence in many, many different manners which may appear surfacely to you to be quite unrelated, and in actuality, they are concerning the same beliefs Ė which is what we discussed in our group interaction, was it not?
LAURA: Yes. This is it! This is the one. Itís not a hidden belief; I just hadnít put it out there as ďthis is what I need to really understand.Ē
I talked to my husband about it and we have the possibility or a strong probability of building a new house here on our property. I think he and I share this belief in a certain way. Is that true? I think he has it less strongly expressed.
LAURA: I think he shares it in a certain way. We have all this land, we have maybe a lot more in certain ways than other people have materially, and thatís uncomfortable for us in one way. Yet we desire it just for ourselves and our own joy in another way.
LAURA: The other theme I was going to talk to you about is since I can see the steps clearly in front of me to take so that we can build this house that we want to have, Iím not taking those steps. Every day I have an opportunity to take another step and I just donít do it, and what Iím seeing now is that thatís because of this position belief.
LAURA: That is, if I walk down that road. Right now I feel like I can still be a little equal because even though we own three houses, they are three kind of crappy houses! (Both laugh) So thereís the equalizing factor, right? My friends have one nice house and we have three kind of semi-crappy houses, so thatís all equal! (Both laugh) But we want one really nice house AND three not-so-great houses.
ELIAS: And in this, as you allow yourself to genuinely examine these influences of this expressed belief, you may begin to recognize that it is a belief. It is not a belief that shall be eliminated; it is a belief and it continues to exist. But you also incorporate choice, for it is not a truth and therefore it is not an absolute.
Regardless that you incorporate the belief that all should be equal and that you should not be presenting yourself as higher or lower or better or worse or more affluent or less affluent than any other individual, recognize that this is merely a belief, it is not an absolute, and choose not to be forcing energy in association with it, merely recognizing that you do incorporate this belief but you also incorporate choices, and turn your attention to your preferences.
LAURA: Right, and focus on the enjoyment of the preference.
ELIAS: Correct. Let me express to you, preferences are merely PREFERRED beliefs. But those preferred beliefs allow you the expression of your freedom. This is the wondrous element of your physical dimension, that you incorporate a few belief systems which in them incorporate countless, literally countless beliefs within each belief system.
You all, every individual within your physical reality, incorporate ALL of these beliefs within all of the belief systems. Therefore, they are all available to you. You express merely a few, relatively speaking, of each belief system, a relative few of the beliefs within each belief system. Therefore, you incorporate a tremendous untapped resource.
For just as preferences change Ė not meaning the beliefs themselves change, but your attention changes and you move your attention in different manners; therefore, your preferences change throughout a focus Ė you may incorporate one preference in one time framework and incorporate an entirely different preference in another time framework. This is an action of moving attention Ė not changing beliefs, but changing which beliefs are expressed and which beliefs are preferred.
LAURA: My husband has been expressing a lot of dissatisfaction with his work life lately. I was wondering if thereís anything that I can do about that. Iím holding the position at this point of just listening and recognizing that he creates his own reality...
LAURA: ...and not necessarily trying to fix him or fix his reality or change it in any way.
ELIAS: Correct. Offer supportiveness in acceptance of his choices. But also, in your listening, pay attention to yourself also and the energy that you are expressing and allow yourself to express a sharing of your experiences. Even if they appear to be unrelated, you may be addressing to very similar beliefs which are generating the discomfort or conflict.
LAURA: As youíre saying that, Iím seeing a similarity in that heís extremely talented and heís gotten himself in this position, coming from a he-creates-his-own-reality point of view. From a conventional point of view, heís been put in this position. But since I recognize he created this position himself, Iíll put it that way, that heís not at all able to express the great talents that he has, that he says he would like to express but heís not choosing that at this time. Is it a similar belief system about the position?
ELIAS: Yes, and restricting of self in projecting attention outwardly rather than focusing attention upon self and allowing that free expression and creativity, but projecting his attention outwardly in association with other individuals and circumstances of which he is allowing himself to be a victim to, and allowing other individuals and circumstances to dictate his choices rather than generating his choices in what he wants in association with his preferences and his freedom.
LAURA: We have talked a lot about that. I donít see him quite there, I guess, as seeing that heís the generator of his experience.
ELIAS: Correct, which is one of the reinforcements of being the victim.
LAURA: Itís interesting, because either Iím noticing this about him and Iíve never noticed it before, or maybe itís because heís going to be 43 next week and so that sort of disappointment thinking he would have created something different by now or something is coming out. I havenít thought of him as someone who had a victim mentality before.
ELIAS: It is not a matter of a mentality.
LAURA: Heís just a very, very happy person and one of the most prolifically creative people Iíve ever met, and I have a lot of creative people around me! So thereís something going on that seems different right now.
ELIAS: Correct. There are many influences. This also moves once again to this belief concerning position and the expectations that you place upon yourselves in relation to that, of what you should be accomplishing and your disappointment in what you are not accomplishing.
Now; my suggestion to you in your interaction with this individual perhaps may be to be gently reminding him of what he has accomplished and what you possess now, what you have incorporated and what you have expressed. Therefore, in that appreciation of what has already been expressed, and in many areas continues to be expressed, that may influence a different perception by interrupting the direction of concentrating upon what he is NOT accomplishing.
LAURA: If you could get your crystal ball out for a minute (both laugh) and polish it up, I think in this one area I would like, if you are able to provide it, maybe some affirmation or confirmation. I do feel that by examining with you what Iíve examined today and my continuing to observe beliefs and their influence in my daily life, choosing what I prefer, that our dreams of a new home and Alanís joy in his work and creative pursuits that we have dreams about and ideals about are well within our grasp and that we will accomplish those things.
ELIAS: Correct. Quite simple, but not! (Both laugh)
LAURA: As soon as that came out of my mouth, the little thought goes through my head that if you look at our lives, my husband and me, weíve created this fantastic life, of course. Most people would look at our lives and be like, ďWhat could you even want? What are you even talking about?Ē (Elias laughs) I think it has more to do with us, because Iím aligned with Sumari and heís of the Sumari essence family, that creative expression is the most important thing to us, not just survival or having nice ordinary experiences. For us, we have more ideals of creative expression.
ELIAS: Yes, and you both express a tremendous passion, which in time frameworks in which you are stifling that passion you generate frustration and you discount yourself and you express disappointment.
LAURA: I just noticed, I also discount myself by thinking ďam I ungrateful for all that we have and all that we have accomplished?Ē
LAURA: So thatís a way of discounting myself.
ELIAS: Correct, for it is not a matter of being ungrateful. It is a matter of moving your attention and preoccupying yourselves with forcing your energy and projecting your attention outside of yourselves, therefore losing sight of your appreciation and losing sight of the now, projecting into the future and into what might be, speculations and expectations, and generating disappointment, for you discontinue allowing yourself the appreciation of yourselves now and what you have.
LAURA: My suggestion to Alan last week when he was expressing a lot of disappointment was just try to look for fun and do more fun things in his life, thatís the direction.
ELIAS: This is an adequate distraction, yes, and an interruption of the discounting. (Pause)
LAURA: Itís adequate, so itís not quite one point.
ELIAS: (Laughs loudly) Ah, and once again you express a discounting Ė not quite good enough!
LAURA: Elias, I have to get an A!
ELIAS: Ah! (Laughs)
LAURA: I am the straight A student!
ELIAS: Ah, but you do not create his reality. You are merely offering suggestions and sharing information and sharing experiences. You are not creating his reality.
LAURA: I get it. Good, a lot to observe.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Much to be paying attention to!
LAURA: As always.
ELIAS: I may be acknowledging of you in this exploration, for you are accomplishing quite well, and you are paying much more attention to yourself in the now than you have previously.
LAURA: I wanted to check in on my kids and see if you had any impressions about them.
ELIAS: In what capacity? (Pause)
LAURA: Just in general, how theyíre... Oh god, I guess itís none of my business, is it? Theyíre fine the way they are. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Quite well spoken! (Laughs)
LAURA: In our culture, the whole being a mommy thing Ė ugh! Youíre supposed to create their perfect reality.
ELIAS: Another set of strongly expressed beliefs.
LAURA: It is!
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Merely recognize that they are individuals also, regardless of their age, and they are what you may term to be children of this shift in its objective movement. Therefore, they are much more aware as small ones of directing themselves.
LAURA: Well, yes. They donít really want to be directed by me. (Both laugh) They make that clear.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And you are shifting also. For most individuals in this time framework that incorporate these roles of parents and children in families, the parents are shifting in their actions and their expressions and behaviors also, and generating much more of an allowance in relation to the small ones, recognizing that they are directing of themselves and that they are quite aware of directing themselves.
LAURA: Kids spend a lot of time in school, and the way weíve worked that out, I think, has been very satisfactory. Letting them decide whether or not they go to school and which school they go to if they do want to go to school, and sort of giving up the idea that they both have to be at school or they both have to be at the same school or whatever has just really allowed them to express themselves more genuinely.
LAURA: Itís been a great lesson for me, I guess.
ELIAS: Which also allows you much less conflict.
LAURA: Much less conflict, and actually a lot more freedom in my life, too.
LAURA: Because my sonís decided not to go to school, people think how could you have more freedom? I actually do; I have a lot more freedom in my life now. (Elias chuckles) Itís been great.
I think thatís it.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Very well. I continue to be encouraging to you, and I shall continue to express my energy with you in supportiveness. Pay attention to your preferences, allow your freedom and do not compare.
LAURA: There it is, right in a nutshell. (Elias chuckles) Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and in the interim time framework I shall be interactive with you in my energy expression.
LAURA: Thank you. I enjoyed the card that my mother got me. (Elias laughs) That was a good one! Thank you.
ELIAS: You are welcome. I express my lovingness to you.
LAURA: And mine to you.
ELIAS: In wondrous affection, my friend, au revoir.
LAURA: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 2:27 PM.
(1) Originally expressed as ďTherefore, you examine what it is that motivates you to seek the value of other individuals in yourself through the action of excelling to excellence.Ē
© 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.