Wednesday, December 08, 2004
ďIncorporating Michael as a ReflectorĒ
ďPhysical Appearance Is Another Element of YouĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anonymous.
(Eliasí arrival time is 17 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
ANON: Good morning, Elias. How are you today?
ELIAS: As always, and yourself?
ANON: Iím doing pretty well. Lots of changes going on. I want to start out this morning with some statistics for my nephew Christian.
ELIAS: Very well.
ANON: Iíd like his family and alignment, orientation, focus type and number of focuses.
ELIAS: And your impressions?
ANON: I would say Sumari/Vold...
ANON: ...and I would say common for him.
ANON: And emotional?
ANON: I donít know his number of focuses. Is it likely that I would know that or that I would get an impression on that?
ELIAS: You can.
ANON: Iíll leave that one up to you.
ELIAS: Very well. (Chuckles) Numbering of focuses, 872.
ANON: That was very helpful after the last session. I believe that I was able to receive your energy, the blanket of energy that you talked about, which I really appreciate. Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
ANON: Does that continue on anytime Iím requiring it?
ANON: Do I just ask?
ELIAS: I am always available to you.
ANON: I loved your Sumafi representation of whatever kind of bird that was. What kind of bird was it, by the way? It wasnít a crow, but it looked kind of like one.
ELIAS: A raven.
ANON: Well, you were very beautiful. Are there more representations like that that are happening that Iím just not noticing?
ELIAS: I may offer them to you, if you are so desiring.
ANON: I would love that! That was just a fabulous experience.
ELIAS: Very well.
ANON: Iím going to go off-topic a little bit. My son had this dream that he was very affected by, and Iíd like to ask your interpretation or your impression on it. He hasnít sent his impression on it yet, but Iíll wait for his before I share yours with him. Do you need to know what the dream is?
ELIAS: Yes, offer information.
ANON: He was back here helping renovate the house, and he and I were fighting. My sister was here, as well. He had the impression that there was something else in the house. We banded together, with me on one side and my sister, his aunt, on the other side, and we walked through the house looking for spirits or something. We found a group of young girls who didnít want to leave the house and wanted to protect it or something. Anyway, they ended up leaving, and then later on we found a group of naughty boys that were protecting the house, and he somehow forced them out of the house; he threatened them out of the house. Afterwards, we were having a party and he was welcoming all spirits in. It affected him very seriously. Thatís a synopsis of the dream.
ELIAS: And what is YOUR impression?
ANON: Itís his dream, so I think itís more important what his impression is than what my impression is.
ELIAS: Yes, but you may also incorporate an impression.
ANON: I need to sit with that a little bit. I would say my impression is that heís recognizing our connectedness as a family. Heís going off on a lot of new adventures on his own right now, and he recognizes that he has the support, certainly, of me and my sister, and in being away from home, he is now recognizing some of the impressions that you have about your home or about fighting with your family, that they start clearing away and then you allow room for new information. That would be my impression.
ELIAS: That is correct. I may also express to you, it is imagery that he is presenting to himself of acceptability, that the outside individuals may move in different directions but what he is generating and the directions that he chooses are acceptable, regardless of whether they may be different from other individualsí.
Therefore, the imagery in this dream with the other individuals represents other individuals within his world that may initially appear to be protecting, but in actuality may be moving contrary to his own truths and to his direction. Therefore, he images them in one manner initially but subsequently recognizes that their protectiveness is not actually helpful and somewhat intrusive. This also acknowledges his choices and his direction in what he values, in what he values in his beliefs, his interactions not merely with family Ė although that is a significant element of the imagery Ė but also in association with his own spirituality and his willingness and openness to that.
ANON: Which is why he was inviting spirits in or the imagery of spirits in...
ANON: ...at the end, where he was embracing his freedom to choose whatever he wanted.
ANON: Thatís very interesting. Is there anything else on that? I didnít want to cut you off; thatís why Iím asking the question.
ELIAS: You may offer him my acknowledgment of his openness.
ANON: He is a pretty aware guy, isnít he? (Elias chuckles) He seems to have started at a different point than me, and heís working on it.
Now I want to check in on my mum. She seems to be settling or something in her being. Is that just a settling, or is she choosing a transition time?
ELIAS: Not yet.
ANON: Is that imminent, or you canít tell, itís still a choice?
ELIAS: That is a choice.
ANON: I want to check in again Ė although I feel quite good about it Ė on the litigation that we talked about a few sessions ago. What ended up happening is I couldnít think that this would end, like it would complete without me doing more things. I ended up getting a bill from the lawyer and I could have challenged it, but I thought just pay this and get it paid off. Now itís almost like everything is closed, like I donít have anything outstanding with the lawyer in terms of fees. I havenít heard anything from the other side, and itís kind of just really quiet right now.
Is this is the point where Iím turning my attention to other things like new business, and then this will complete? Or am I focusing on the ending again? I was trying to understand what you were talking about the last time in terms of the difference between focusing on an ending and just recognizing that itís a continuation of the process.
ELIAS: Yes, and...
ANON: Iím looking to continue the process, which is about me developing and going on with my business stuff. Is there anything that I need to do here?
ELIAS: I am acknowledging of your movement in this. I may express to you that you have engaged an interesting choice in this recent past time framework in this process. In that, I may express to you that you engaged Michael as a reflection. In this process of reflecting and cooperating in the experience that you generated together, you have each offered yourselves significant information.
Your information is beginning to be expressed in a direction, which is significant. This is the point. You have allowed yourself to stop challenging and struggling with the engagement of the other individuals with your litigation. You have begun to turn your attention in another direction, recognizing that there is being expressed a continuance in the one expression and direction, but you are allowing yourself to turn your attention in a different direction, which is the successful acknowledgment of the continuing of the first situation, but not generating struggle with it, not concentrating your attention upon it and merely allowing for a flow, and in that, allowing yourself to turn your attention into other expressions of creativity.
In this, it is your choice. But I may also offer the suggestion that you engage conversation and sharing with Michael, for Michael also is viewing this scenario much more clearly now, and in sharing information with each other, you may both benefit.
ANON: Iím not sure of the connection with Michael. Is Michael experiencing something on her own that is similar to this? Is that what youíre saying? I donít know what question to ask Michael is what Iím saying here.
ELIAS: In this, you and Michael have been engaging an action and an interaction with each other, which at times has times has generated irritation, correct?
ELIAS: Now; that action that you engaged together, you chose to be engaging Michael as a reflection to you of what YOU have been creating, and that reflection has been significant in helpfulness to you. Although you perceived it to be uncomfortable, it has been facilitating your movement into the direction that you and I have been discussing, of moving your attention in a different direction to allow more of your own freedom and creativity, and more of an acknowledgment of yourself rather than the familiar discounting of yourself, that you are not accomplishing successfully.
ANON: It was very interesting because I looked at what was happening with Michael, and I understood about the power and so on, but that had to do with my interaction with another lawyer on some corporate issue.
ANON: But what youíre saying is that this is also related to this other litigation.
ANON: Iím not sure of the tie-in there. Is the tie-in to acknowledge...?
ELIAS: Let me offer you a synopsis of the scenario that you created. You have been creating in a particular direction for an extended time framework, and it has generated frustration and conflict and confusion within you. Therefore, you began to move in a direction to offer yourself information in how to create what you want in different manners and...
ANON: With no conflict Ė specifically youíre talking about without conflict.
ELIAS: Correct, and also more in acknowledgment of yourself and your worth, allowing for more of your own natural creativity.
Now; you recognized that you did not want to create in the manner which had become familiar to you, which has been imaged in these litigations and these conflicts, and generally, the subject involves money. You chose to be moving in a direction of offering yourself information; therefore, you chose to engage conversation with myself, but you also chose to incorporate Michael as a reflector to be helpful to you in understanding and in your movement. Therefore, you engaged what you term to be misunderstanding or miscommunication or different definitions of what you may assess as being what occurred, but what you actually generated was interrupting some of our conversations and not generating the conversations to be occurring in the time frameworks in which you had originally planned, and you engaged confusion in association with money, correct?
ELIAS: Now; in this, Michael served as an adequate reflector, and what Michael engaged was what you engage with other individuals, or what you have engaged previously, and what you wanted to change. Michael expressed irritation and impatience. Michael concentrated his attention singularly to you and was expressing impatience and irritation in association with money.
Now; that reflected precisely what you have been engaging with other individuals in a familiar manner. I am understanding that it generated some confusion with you and also some irritation with you also, but in that process, you were not actually objectively recognizing what you were actually doing and how that was actually generating a significant benefit.
Now; in your experience and in your reality, it has served to move you into a clearer direction of not concentrating so intensely upon the other individuals and upon the completion, so to speak, of litigations, or the struggling and fighting and forcing energy to prove your point with other individuals. Now you are moving into the direction which you and I have been discussing in all of our conversations: allowing yourself to relax more, allowing yourself not to concentrate your attention so intensely in one direction, and to allow yourself more of your own creative freedom.
The information that Michael received in this interaction was that of being a reflector, which is significant. For to this point, Michael, in like manner to most individuals, has viewed part of the picture, in a manner of speaking. He has held an awareness of how other individuals reflect to him but not that he reflects to other individuals also, and has recently begun to understand that aspect of how you all interact with each other.
I am acknowledging of both of you. I am acknowledging of you in your movement and your choice of a reflector, for it was quite efficient, for it allowed you to generate a reflection from another individual precisely and efficiently but also in safety. For regardless of Michaelís irritation Ė which, I acknowledge that he definitely did incorporate irritation, ha, ha, ha! Ė regardless of that irritation, he incorporates a wide enough awareness to this point to not incorporate blame and also to investigate, therefore not incorporate personalizing in association with another individual, and therefore providing you with an element of safety and not a genuine threat, but allowing you to experience a genuine reflection of what you have been engaging, and therefore to view that if you are not moving in that direction that is familiar to you of what you have generated pastly, you may be creating much more easily and allowing yourself much more freedom.
In this, it may be somewhat interesting for both of you to share your experiences with each other, for you have each offered yourself considerable information.
ANON: I can see that. I interpreted it a little differently, but certainly it led me to an ease to be able to deal with... To me, I interpreted it as power and leverage issues. Anyway, I will talk to Michael about that, because I want to explore that a little bit more.
With this one litigation with my old client, when do I know when to pay attention to it again, or have I just finished it? Part of my preferred outcome is that I do get paid; thatís part of what I want to create.
ELIAS: I am understanding. Now acknowledge that and release it.
ANON: For me to go back now and start phoning them and finding out if theyíre going to pay and all that, I would just be going back to the old again, wouldnít I?
ELIAS: Correct, and that would be perpetuating precisely what you were doing previously.
ANON: It felt like I just got a really clean cut-off here, and I thought wow, I created that kind of beautifully. Nothing is pending. Iím going to acknowledge my preference to be paid, and then Iím not going to worry about how thatís going to happen. Itís just going to happen.
ELIAS: Correct, and trust yourself and allow yourself to move in a different direction of expressing your creativity.
ANON: Right now I feel like Iím nesting a little bit, and I feel like my businesses are going to be coming alive. But itís also really important for me to be understanding my communications, and I feel like Iím making huge leaps in my awareness here.
ELIAS: I am acknowledging of you, yes.
ANON: This is another area, and Iím realizing how interconnected all these things are Ė but woo! Actually, Iím sure I probably only am hitting the tip of the iceberg here. (Elias laughs) Iíd like to talk again about body. There seems to be three things that are connected here: body, relationship and not good enough. Iíve been asking in my dreams about relationship or body, and Iím getting a lot of connection between these three pieces.
ANON: I wasnít looking at them as connected before. Do I need to ask a specific question on that or can you...?
ELIAS: What is your concern?
ANON: With my body, Iím not manifesting what I want. I feel like Iím going through a disconnected stage or something. Whatís come up over the last couple of days is the impression of not good enough, which really surprises me again, and then with relationship, having an intimate relationship with a man or even a partner somehow ties into this as well.
ELIAS: Yes, for that is interconnected with how you perceive yourself and how you value yourself.
ANON: Elias, I get really confused on this, because sometimes I can really sit with it and I can almost feel the energy of another person, as if I am cosmically asking for this person to show up. What Iím realizing now is Iíve created a very safe place for me to learn this stuff in my world right now, where I get a lot of insights and awarenesses Ė I call them ďah-haĒs Ė and I get it! I donít necessarily remember that I get it later on, but then I go into the world and I have experiences Ė Iím not inundated with huge amounts of experiences right now; itís almost like I selected them Ė and then within those experiences Iím actually able to transition my inner awareness into really understanding how that works in this dimension, the physical.
ELIAS: Yes, yes.
ANON: Iím really feeling like Iím making big strides there.
ELIAS: Yes, and significant accomplishments. This is the reason that you are generating this awareness of potential relationship, and the relationship of that to you and how you view yourself and how you value yourself, for they are interconnected. You are expressing an energy of desire to draw that type of scenario to yourself and create a relationship.
But you are also beginning to offer yourself real information of the significance of how you perceive yourself and how that affects what you draw to yourself, and that to create what you want in relationship with another individual, it is important for you to be genuinely aware of you, of your preferences and of your value, and to be aware of how you genuinely want to be expressing you, that that is more significant than what individuals generally view in relationships as what they want from the other individual. That is not as significant as what you want to be expressing of yourself in a relationship, and incorporate the freedom and allowance to do that.
ANON: Itís very interesting, because Iím living out, I think, a mass belief here, certainly what weíre taught as women, as young beings, like the Cinderella story that you have a horrible life and some man is going to come and save you and reflect back to you how wonderful you are so then youíll start to realize that. I think thatís fantasy. Iím sure it happens, but part of what I am looking for Ė which is probably why I have not generated a relationship for a number of years Ė is for me to understand... Iím probably just regurgitating what you just said, but I want someone to reflect back to me the love that I have for myself, the feelings that I have for myself. I feel like where a relationship would help me in this piece Ė and this is the piece of this I donít get, Elias Ė is that we have all of this awareness in and of ourselves but other people are very significant in helping us here. Mary was significant in being a reflector to me.
ANON: Itís not like we can live in isolation objectively, you know what I mean? I think itís really important to have other people in our lives...
ANON: ...and Iíve never acknowledged that before. Iíve always thought that I had to do it on my own, and I would not allow help.
ELIAS: That is also a significant revelation that you are offering to yourself that concerns receiving and allowing. You are correct, other individuals in your reality are quite significant.
ANON: In a relationship, for example, for the first time Iím going to say that I do desire to have a relationship, not in the old way of someone fixing my life, but I want to have a place inside of myself Ė itís not going to be perfect, where I feel perfect about myself all the time Ė but that they are in my life as a stable force for me to reflect back all of these things in a safe way, and by sharing our interaction there is an enhancement of both of our beings.
ANON: That sharing is what is important, and my ability to actually allow another being to help me. You were very significant in this. By me being able to receive your energy, it was very safe for me, although it was very hard as well. That was me letting go, and Iíve never let go to that extent before. To me, that was the beginning of ďI can receive.Ē
ELIAS: I am understanding, yes.
ANON: So, thank you very much for that. Iím getting the feeling that I need to share just a piece of a dream that I had, because I think that it might be connected here. As soon as I brought in the piece of receiving... Is that okay?
ANON: Iíve been blabbering on. Do you have information that you...?
ELIAS: You may continue.
ANON: I had a dream the other night that I was with a group of people and that we were in the water somewhere, vast water. There was nothing around, and we had no hope of rescue. Anyway, it was like there was a big curtain/wall of metal or cement, and it opened up and we were whooshed through into another kind of room. I felt that we needed to be rescued, and I was kind of the leader in this. We saw a boat coming towards us, and I thought we need to all go in the middle so that they can see us. Well, the boat sped by. There was another boat that came up, and in this boat there were two brothers. I had the feeling that they were Russian men, very influential men, strong men. The younger brother jumped out of the boat and started swimming towards me Ė I was somehow separated from the rest of the group Ė and the fellow on the boat, the older brother, continued on to get the rest of the group, I guess.
This man ended up representing my partner in some way in relationship, and as soon as he reached me and I was in his arms, I almost went into a coma of allowing him to support me, just allowing that. I could feel the love and the caring going back and forth, and my trust here. Then he started touching me and stuff like that, and that brought me out of my coma. My first thought was that Iím too fat or Iím too ugly or itís a good thing weíre in the water or else he wouldnít be able to carry me, and weíre in trouble when we start getting to the shore.
Then somehow we were on the shore, I was in a car, and I donít think I had clothes on. George Bush came up and was looking at me, and I was thinking oh man, I look really gross here, but I was pretending to be in a coma or asleep, and he just went off. Next, I was in an office, and there was the president of an association I belong to in the office.
Anyway, youíve got the synopsis of the dream. There were other pieces to it, but my impression was that all the influential people were there because I am naturally a leader in this dimension. Iím noticing that I am a leader. Iím noticing that going into the background is not servicing who I am and what my intent is in this life. Is that a piece of it?
ANON: The other part is Ė and this is where the relationship and the body came in Ė it really struck me how the only thing that could bring me out of complete exhaustion and almost a coma state was me discounting my body.
ELIAS: Therefore, also discounting yourself.
ANON: Yes, the whole thing. That piece is connected. Iím noticing that Iím acknowledging of myself in a lot of other areas...
ANON: ...so Iím actually noticing the black and white or the dichotomy between how much I discount my body and how much I can really actually acknowledge my capabilities in certain areas.
ANON: Before, I would just discount everything, and now Iím having some separation.
ELIAS: Correct, but also you are beginning to recognize how much you concentrate your acceptability with your appearance. This is significant, for it is not a matter of outside approval or other individualsí perception of you, but YOUR perception of you and how that projects your energy. In discounting your appearance and in expressing to yourself this unacceptability of appearance, that it is not good enough, you project an unacceptable energy outwardly, and you project a particular image.
ANON: I am doing that, arenít I?
ELIAS: Yes. Remember, individuals do not generally automatically reconfigure another individualís energy. Individuals generally receive the energy that any individual projects, and they configure it in the manner in which it was projected. Therefore, if you are expressing this unacceptability of your appearance, that is what you are projecting in energy, and that affects what you draw to yourself in association with other individuals and potential relationship.
ANON: For example, if I drew a man into my life right now who completely adored me and everything else, he would be either reconfiguring my energy that Iím projecting or... Well, I donít know. Thatís too abstract. This has been something that I have been doing my whole life, and I know it, and it makes me feel really sick. I understand it, and youíre right. I have been drawing a lot more situations to myself.
During the day, I went to a board meeting, and the people were very appreciative of my involvement. Iím very capable. Then in the evening when it came time for the dinner, it was horrible for me. I felt very conspicuous, I felt very gross, I felt all of that stuff Ė and Iím not! (Sighs) It doesnít matter what size I am; I do this to myself all the time.
ELIAS: I am aware. In this, let me express to you, were you to perchance (chuckles) draw to yourself an individual that would be appreciating and loving and cherishing of you, in this now you would not accept that...
ANON: I know I wouldnít.
ELIAS: ...for you are not expressing that of you. Therefore, you would reject that, for you would not deem it to be genuine.
ANON: Or something would be wrong with them.
ANON: I know enough now in my awareness to know that itís not about eliminating this. Itís about me kind of unraveling and understanding what is going on in this scenario, what is the benefit for me to be doing this, and to, in effect, acknowledge that has served me and then have a choice. I donít feel at this moment as if I have a choice to switch this, because it is such an ingrained automatic response, or itís so deep or something. Maybe Iím complicating it.
ELIAS: That is the significance of practice. Even practicing appreciating in not such a genuine manner does serve to interrupt the familiar automatic responses. Even if your appreciation is ingenuine, even if you are in your terms merely pretending to be appreciating of yourself, even that interrupts to an extent the familiar automatic responses of discounting yourself.
ANON: (Sighs) I know that when I would be pretending, it just doesnít seem real to me; it isnít real to me.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but regardless, it becomes real as you practice.
In this, as you offered yourself flowers, that was not a genuine expression of appreciation of yourself, but it was interrupting familiar responses. If you are incorporating dancing, you are not genuinely appreciating yourself yet, but you are interrupting the discounting. The more you interrupt the familiar actions, the familiar automatic responses, the less familiar those automatic responses become, which opens the door for new responses.
ANON: Is that when we start to get more insights into what was going on or whatís going on, what weíre creating?
ANON: Itís almost like what I sometimes call ďthe pit.Ē I drop into the pit, and Iím so there that I donít have any objectivity to get out. (Sighs) Why am I doing this, or is that even an important question? I donít understand the value of this.
ELIAS: Clarify ďthis.Ē
ANON: Me creating this scenario with my body Ė which Iím so tired of it. Bleah! I hate it already!
ELIAS: And perhaps you do not hate it enough yet to stop and to discontinue your payoff.
ANON: My payoff is to discount myself?
ELIAS: No, your payoff is to shift the value of yourself from appearance to accomplishment Ė BUT appearance is another element of you.
You want to be acknowledged for who you are, as the individual that you are. You acknowledge yourself most successfully in your competence and your successfulness in what you do or how you present yourself; but how you present yourself physically is another element of that. You have been attempting to eliminate that aspect of you and to be seen by other individuals not physically, but in your terms, for who you are Ė not what you appear, not what you look like. But you participate within a physical reality, and how you project yourself in appearance is an element of you.
The reason that you continue to present this to yourself is that it is a significant element of yourself that you ARE NOT ACCEPTING and that you continuously fight with and oppose.
ANON: I think Iím understanding. So when you say I want to be recognized for my accomplishments, itís not necessarily my physical accomplishments. I was making my whole life into boxes where Iím really capable Ė I can figure out these problems, Iím really good at what I do, and therefore, Iím a good person, forget about what I look like.
ANON: I feel like Iím moving both of those into ďmy accomplishments are my accomplishments as a beingĒ Ė an entire being, not like an essence-being Ė and not ďI successfully completed this projectĒ but that I accomplish as a being, I am here, and I have intrinsic value as a being. I feel like Iíve made a big shift in the accomplishment piece, like Iím understanding that part a little bit more...
ANON: ...but Iím leaving behind the body. Iím still not connecting with valuing that I am physically manifest here and that that has value in and of itself.
ELIAS: Correct. The more that you struggle and the more that you fight with that and deny it, the more you create this discounting of yourself and the more you perpetuate the circle.
ANON: (Sighs) I wonder if this discounting of myself or this connection with not wanting to be physically manifest, what it comes out as. Itís almost like Iím being punished for being physically manifest. Are these old religious beliefs that I need to look at? Why do I resent that so much? It doesnít make sense. I chose to come back, to be physical. I chose to be physically manifest. Why would I...?
ELIAS: It is associated with religious beliefs, that the inner and what you define as the spiritual is higher and more significant and more valued than the physical, and that the physical manifestation is not actually the genuine real you. Yes, it is. It is an element of the genuine real you. It is what you have chosen to project, and it reflects how you view yourself.
ANON: So Iím discounting my very being by discounting this whole... (Sighs)
I think weíre almost out of time. Is there some underlying belief or something that I should look at in terms of me? What Iím doing is Iím carving out my body, like Iím separating it. Iím making it a separation from me.
ELIAS: Correct, and it is not.
ANON: So I can engage it so that Iím more lovingly accepting it?
ELIAS: And integrate the physical body consciousness as an element of you.
ANON: Is there a way that I can do that, just start doing that?
ELIAS: Without your physical manifestation you would not be participating in this reality, would you?
ANON: I know! It doesnít make any logical sense. I understand that! (Both laugh) I understand that, but for some reason Iím just really separating it.
ELIAS: Practice less separation. Practice noticing and practice BEING your body.
ANON: Just by movement and noticing?
ANON: I will do that, and I think the ďnot good enoughĒ is going to work itself out in that whole process. (Elias laughs) Do you think so?
ANON: I think Mary has lots to do today, so thatís our session. I will be meeting you again on the 17th.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall be anticipating our conversation, and I shall be continuing to offer my energy to you. (Chuckles)
ANON: Iíd really appreciate that, and any of these wonderful manifestations that you have pop in, Iíd love to see them!
ELIAS: Very well.
ANON: Lots of love.
ELIAS: And I express great affection to you also, my dear friend. To you in fondness and encouragement, au revoir.
ANON: Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 1 hour, 1 minute.)
© 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.