Tuesday, October 22, 2002
ďAn Executive Coaching SessionĒ
ďWinning the LotteryĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Steven (Steffano).
Elias arrives at 11:38 AM. (Arrival time is 18 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
STEVEN: Good morning! (Elias chuckles) Iím very excited to be talking to you!
ELIAS: (Laughs) And how shall we proceed?
STEVEN: Well, I thought that I might, for the benefit of the transcripts, just introduce the session with telling a little bit about how I created this session and a couple of subsequent sessions.
ELIAS: Very well.
STEVEN: How do you like the idea of me calling you an executive coach?
ELIAS: It is acceptable. (Smiling)
STEVEN: (Laughs) Well, good, because I didnít ask your permission before I did it! (Both laugh)
What Iíve done with this session and plan to do with some future sessions is I am paying for them through my education fund at work, and I am considering them executive coaching sessions. My work, at least so far, has not given me any problem with that, which Iím glad of. I feel like itís what Iíve really been doing all along. This is probably a little bit of me justifying, but hey, Iím still aligned with belief systems (Elias laughs) so I feel the need to justify!
I spend a fair amount of time at work reading transcripts, interacting with the email list, and I feel that itís quite beneficial to what I do at work, particularly as a leader, which is the part of my job that I find most interesting and really ignites my passion, the leadership part. I find that my involvement with this information has allowed me to develop into the kind of leader that I want to be, and I feel like I still have more room to go.
So thatís how I am able to justify having my education fund pay for sessions with you, because to me talking with you about things is a lot like what an executive coach does with their clients.
ELIAS: I am understanding, and I am acknowledging of you in your allowance of your creativity.
STEVEN: Thank you. I feel pretty good about it myself. Thatís one of the reasons I was so excited about this session, and also my creation along those lines of going to the group session in Castaic in January. I got over the big hurdle of talking to my wife about it this morning and that went much better than what I feared it might. I feel very good about that.
ELIAS: Hear, hear, my friend!
STEVEN: (Laughs) So Iím acknowledging myself, and I appreciate your acknowledgment as well!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And so you have it!
STEVEN: I also have greetings from my friend Elveta to you.
ELIAS: And you may extend my greetings also.
STEVEN: I asked my friend Sandy if he wanted to extend his greetings to you but he didnít answer my email before I started talking to you, so I guess Iíll do it without his permission.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And you may reciprocate also. Ha ha!
STEVEN: Well, I guess thatís the introduction. I guess how Iíd like to proceed now is to go over some things, questions that Iíve written down. I plan on having some fun with this and seeing how things develop, because some of the concerns that I had yesterday when I was writing my questions down just donít seem to be that big of a deal today. (Elias laughs) But I still wanted to talk to you and I didnít want to cancel the session, so I guess the questions give me a little bit of a crutch that I can use to carry on our conversation.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well!
STEVEN: Iím looking for your comments as to the state that I was in yesterday and that I seem to feel on a recurring basis, sort of like waves hitting me. I feel a lot of discomfort in general and a lot of specific emotions, as I mentioned in my last session with you, that are uncomfortable, negative things like fear, frustration, sadness and anger. I feel overwhelmed often when Iím experiencing these emotions. I look for what is going on, what Iím creating when Iím experiencing these waves of emotion, and it seems that my recent theme has been conflict, both in my relationship with my partner and with some of my co-workers.
Thatís what Iím experiencing now, and Iím wondering if you have suggestions for me. Is it just a matter of focusing on self, which is what Iím trying to do? I imagine thatís probably what it is, but if you have any suggestions that you might share with me, Iíd like to hear them.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend, focusing on self is not to be minimized, for this is ultimately important, and also holding your attention in the now. I am aware that I have expressed this repeatedly throughout years of interaction with many individuals, but I may also express to you that this may be much more challenging than most of you are aware of, for this is genuinely a quite unfamiliar action and moves contrary to what you know of your objective existence, so to speak.
Now; focusing your attention upon you involves more than one direction, for it is an action of turning your attention to your signals, your communications, your beliefs, your influences, your motivations and many different expressions that you incorporate in any moment, and within any one particular moment you may be expressing many different directions and influences simultaneously. Therefore, you may also be expressing many or several communications to yourself simultaneously. It may be quite challenging at times to decipher what all of these communications are, and in a figurative manner of speaking, requires lubricating your attention to allow it to move freely from one direction to another and to genuinely explore and evaluate all that you are expressing to yourself in your communications.
Now; the initial step, so to speak, in allowing yourself to move into a translation of your communications is to first of all identify what your signals are. Many times individuals, and yourself also, may identify one signal that they define as the loudest or the strongest signal, and not necessarily recognize other signals that are occurring also. Therefore you generalize even your signals, which clouds your ability to translate what your communications are. For if you are not offering yourself specific identifications of what you are generating, you also create difficulty in recognizing specifics in relation to your communications or your influences or your motivations or your associations and triggers with certain experiences.
Now; you are expressing that you are noticing that you generate certain signals: fear, anxiety, at times frustration, anger, sadness. But there are other signals that are occurring. These are the most familiar and therefore the most identifiable signals.
Now; as we examine this process together, offer to me one example that we may incorporate as a focal point to explore this process, one example of this type of wave.
STEVEN: Iíll take the one that I keep using with you, because it certainly seems to get my attention most intensely. Iíll use the example of my continued participation in this forum, particularly attending group sessions, and the conflict that I create with my wife over that and the conflict that I have within myself that Iím having to choose between having a continuing relationship with her and attending these sessions.
ELIAS: Very well.
STEVEN: Just to identify one signal, I feel sad when I decide that I am going to go to this Castaic session in January and that that may result in the end of my intimate relationship with my partner. Iím sad about the lost opportunity.
ELIAS: Very well. We shall incorporate this as an example.
Now; let us examine what is actually occurring, what you are actually expressing to yourself, what influences what you are experiencing, what you are choosing and what you are creating, and also what is influencing of potential creations. For remember, what is created in the future, so to speak, is actually created now, for you form your future in the now. Therefore, it is quite significant that you allow yourself an objective understanding and recognition of what you are actually doing now.
Now; in this scenario there are several expressions occurring simultaneously. You express to myself that you recognize one signal of sadness. What influences that signal or what generates that signal is your denial of your choices to be expressing yourself without limitation freely and therefore to generate what you want in more than one direction. In this, you also are projecting expectations of yourself and of your partner. There are also judgments which are being expressed in relation to yourself and to your partner.
Now; let us also examine this scenario. First of all, I pose the question to you: do you create all of your reality?
ELIAS: Very well. Do you choose all of your reality?
ELIAS: Very well. Therefore, you create and you choose the outcome which shall be expressed with your partner. In your denial of your freedom of yourself to create what you want without limitation, you as essence experience sorrow, for there is no greater sorrow that may be expressed within essence than the denial of choice. For this is your natural expression, and this is the seat of your freedom and your power. In denying that to yourself, you do not merely discount yourself but you stifle your movement and you reflect that with other individuals.
Therefore, it is quite understandable that you generate conflict between yourself and your partner in relation to your participation in this forum, for you are not allowing yourself to freely express your preference. You are, in a manner of speaking, basing your choices upon the dictates of the other individual.
Now; physically you are allowing yourself to move and to generate the choices regardless of your fear, which is to be acknowledged. But inwardly you are continuing to discount yourself and limit yourself, for as you have stated, you view yourself to be in a position where you cannot generate what you want fully; you may only generate what you want partially, and therefore it is necessary that you choose what is more important to you. But this presents a challenge and difficulty also, for you are not quite sure what is more important Ė your partnership or your allowance of yourself to participate in this forum. You choose the forum at the risk of sacrificing the partnership.
This is significant, for in actuality you may generate both quite efficiently. It matters not that your partner chooses not to engage this forum. It matters not that your partner may engage a different philosophy from yourself. What matters is that you allow yourself to not incorporate the expression of being threatened by difference, that you allow yourself the freedom of your expression of yourself without limitation, not concerning yourself with the choices or the expressions of other individuals Ė this is not the same as not caring Ė but not concerning yourself and therefore attempting to twist your choices to be accommodating other individualsí choices.
It is not bad or wrong that individuals generate difference, that they incorporate different perceptions. I may express to you, my friend, this is the greatest challenge within this shift Ė the acceptance of self and the acceptance of difference Ė and this is tremendously more challenging than the acceptance of beliefs.
STEVEN: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
Now; let me express to you, as you are aware, you create what you concentrate upon. Many times what you concentrate upon is associated with your expectations. Not always, but many times you shall generate what you expect, especially in association with experiences that you deem to be uncomfortable, conflicting or negative, for you concentrate your energy in association with those expectations and thusly you create precisely what you do not want Ė but you do create what you expect.
In association with your partner, if you are allowing yourself to genuinely express yourself, not concerning yourself with the difference that she expresses and also not projecting an energy of hesitation or judgment associated with that difference but projecting an acceptance of her choices in difference to your own, you may generate harmony. It is not impossible, and you do incorporate the ability to create this.
STEVEN: I imagine that that applies just as well to my work situation as it does to my partnership.
ELIAS: Quite, yes. There are many choices that you may generate in any scenario, my friend. But you and most other individuals are familiar merely with viewing each scenario in an either/or expression, a black and white.
If you are engaging an interaction with another individual in your workplace, so to speak, and perhaps you offer a directive to another individual and they may approach you and have completed a task in a way that may not necessarily be acceptable to you, your automatic response shall be the either/or scenario, to express dissatisfaction with the other individual and to be expressing another directive and your disappointment with their performance. This is an automatic response. It is viewed, without thinking, as the only response.
But in your desire to be incorporating this information to be facilitating more of what you want to generate, not merely in association with your relationship with your partner but also in your job or your career, so to speak, pay attention to how you choose to present yourself. And remember, what is your objective? Your objective is not to be teaching or guiding other individuals but to be sharing with other individuals your experience, which thusly projects an energy of example which does not discount any other individual and reinforces your acceptance and your trust of yourself.
Remember the straight little sapling. It does not advise, it does not attempt to fix, and it does not discount. It merely is. In its choices it expresses a natural example, and in its existence it shares its experience through its being with any other expression of consciousness that connects to it. This is your job, so to speak, expressing responsibility for self and no other, and in this recognizing that you are sharing experiences and you are moving into an expression of acceptance of difference.
Therefore, in the hypothetical scenario of another individual performing a task that may be different from your expectation, you may be acknowledging of the other individualís choice but also express your opinion, your preference and your viewing of the task and its accomplishment. In sharing information, you do not discount yourself or the other individual, and you offer the opportunity to be understanding another perception. You offer a projection of energy which allows an understanding in the other individual of your perception. Are you understanding?
STEVEN: Yes, I am. I actually wanted to comment that I think youíre very good at this executive coaching stuff. (Both laugh) I know youíve already said itís not part of your intent to write a book, but I think you could write a book! (Both laugh)
ELIAS: I shall leave these matters to Michael! (Both laugh)
STEVEN: Yes, thatís actually gotten into the questions that I wanted to ask about my work situation, because Iíve experienced exactly what youíre talking about. Iíve had concerns brought to me or Iíve observed things where people are performing a task differently, and I certainly have had the automatic either/or reaction. The either/or has been either I come down on them with a certain amount of judgment that this is not an acceptable way to perform this task in my opinion, or I ignore it...
STEVEN: ...and neither of those choices has felt very good. Iíve been choosing to not ignore things, which means my approach with a lot of judgment in it has certainly helped to create quite a bit of conflict at my workplace over these types of issues.
ELIAS: Correct. There are many more manners in which individuals may accomplish any action than merely one. I am aware that many different establishments within your societies view that individuals must be performing actions in a certain manner, which does not allow for the creative expression of most individuals. Also it discounts the individual in not allowing them to direct themselves rather than accepting the dictates of the establishment, which is the familiar movement and expressions within your societies.
But you are all shifting, not merely yourself. Therefore, each individual is shifting in their unique manner, but they are all shifting. Regardless of their choice of direction, regardless of their philosophy, regardless of what information they align with, they are all shifting.
Therefore, in generating an ease in interaction with other individuals, it is significant that you acknowledge your shifting and their shifting also and what that means, for it means the same for other individuals as it does for you. What is meant by this is that you move your attention to self, you allow yourself to generate your own choices, you offer yourself greater opportunities to express your creativity, you direct yourself, [and] you do not allow for the dictates of other individuals in association with how you create your reality.
Now; turn this to the other side of the coin, my friend. What is meant in this is that you also may not be dictating to other individuals how they shall create their reality. This is not to say that you may not incorporate your preferences and your opinions and that you may not express those preferences and those opinions and share information with other individuals. But there is quite a difference between expressing your preferences and opinions and sharing information with other individuals and discounting other individuals or expressing that they are wrong.
STEVEN: When I perceive that someone is trying to dictate my choices to me, like the example I gave earlier of my partner, my perception has been that she is telling me that she would like me to stop participating in this forum. In fact, she said the words this morning, ďI feel like youíve gotten what you can out of this. Why do you want to keep going to these sessions?Ē
My perception of that is that sheís trying to tell me to stop, yet Iím creating that. Sheís projecting energy, and then through the mechanism of my perception I am creating her physical person, the words that sheís saying, as well as my understanding of the words. So really Iím telling myself to stop participating, arenít I?
ELIAS: Not necessarily.
Now; this once again is the significance of genuinely examining what is occurring and what you are generating, and not limiting yourself to the black and white. It is quite easily expressed by individuals what you have said. If the individual is saying to me, ďYou have generated all that you may receive from participating in this forum or these sessions. Why continue?Ē this is not necessarily as absolute as you view it to be. Recognize as we began this conversation that you are generating many expressions within yourself and are challenging yourself, for you are denying your choices and you are seeking the approval of the other individual to justify your choices.
Now; you are correct in your assessment that this is an expression of another individual attempting to dictate to you your choices, but you are also correct, you are creating that. What is influencing that reflection that you are presenting to yourself is your doubt within yourself that you incorporate the ability to create what you want in your relationship and also allow yourself the freedom to move in the direction that you want individually.
STEVEN: Yes, I can see that. I certainly, as weíve already talked about, have had my doubts about that. I have been looking for the approval of others in order to feel okay, especially the approval of my spouse, that Iím much more comfortable that Iíll be able to explore this information and participate in this forum and continue to have our relationship if she were to give me that approval that itís okay with her that I do this. I donít think she is at the point of giving me that approval.
ELIAS: And it matters not. What is significant is that you are seeking it.
STEVEN: Yes! (Laughs)
ELIAS: It matters not...
STEVEN: So I can choose to not be seeking that approval from outside of myself.
ELIAS: Correct. Generating an acceptance and a trust of your choices and allowing yourself to freely express yourself in your preferences, it matters not whether there is an expression of approval or not, and I may express to you, this becomes a moot point. For as you are not seeking another individualís approval, their energy projection in relation to you alters also. (Steven sighs)
As you project an energy seeking that approval, you are projecting an expectation and the other individual is immediately responsive to that. Regardless of whether their attention moves to their thought process in relation to the energy that they are receiving or not, there are automatic responses that individuals express in relation to energy which is projected. Regardless of the verbal communication that you may engage, the energy is projected and individuals receive and translate energy immediately.
STEVEN: That helps me to understand whatís happening much better.
ELIAS: This is the significance of being aware of yourself, paying attention to all that you are doing and expressing in any given moment in association with other individuals and also, in your terms, in your alone moments objectively. For do not delude yourself, my friend, in generating a thought process that if you are not actually engaging physical proximity and objective interaction with another individual that you are not projecting energy in association with them and that they are not receiving it, for this occurs quite frequently, especially in association with fear.
STEVEN: I wanted to ask about a dream I had a week ago in which I won the lottery. I havenít spent a lot of time talking to you about the lottery, but Iíve read some of the things that youíve told other people in sessions. I have the feeling that since I havenít created winning the lottery that it may not be part of my intent, at least at this point. Is that correct?
ELIAS: It is not a matter of whether it is an expression of your intent or not, my friend. It is a matter of genuinely recognizing that you create outcomes in the moment, your ability to generate that type of outcome without an expectation, and an examination of your motivation.
For the most part, look to the individuals that actually generate winning the lottery. What do they generate Ė a tremendous concentration upon actually winning? No. For the most part, individuals that generate that outcome do not concentrate their attention upon that manifestation. They play the game, they incorporate fun, and they generate an allowance, what you commonly term to be a ďletting go,Ē and they do not generate an expectation. This is the reason that for the most part they incorporate genuine surprise at their creation.
STEVEN: So thatís the way people usually create winning it. But I know Iím not the only one in this forum, and I know Iím certainly not the only one on this planet that has approached it differently...
ELIAS: You are correct.
STEVEN: ...in trying to create winning that lottery and having a lot of expectations attached to that and fantasies attached to it. It seems when youíre creating your own reality and you say that you believe that, you say, ďOkay, I can create anything I choose, anything that I want. I choose, I want, to win this lottery.Ē You buy your ticket, the winning numbers are announced, and you didnít win. And you go, ďHow did I do that?Ē or, ďWhy did I not create winning it?Ē Itís very different than what youíve described for most of the people who do actually win.
ELIAS: I am understanding what you are expressing, and you do incorporate the ability to generate that action intentionally, which once again is an aspect of the movement of this shift in consciousness, to move your attention in a manner in which you familiarize yourself with how you create your reality to the point that you may intentionally manipulate energy to be creating what you want in the moment objectively. Therefore, it is quite possible that you may create this type of expression also.
But examine what are your influences and what continues to be expressed within your beliefs, and this shall offer you information concerning your choice of outcome of not winning this lottery. For in the examination of your influence of your beliefs, you may continue to express a doubt of your ability to actually generate that type of outcome, or you may be expressing a doubt that you even create an outcome in the moment. You may be incorporating a belief that the outcome is not being generated by yourself but by another individual who pulls numbers, and your movement is to match those numbers. No, your movement is to create those numbers, for you create the outcome.
STEVEN: Do you have any insights for me as to why I created that dream last week?
ELIAS: Yes. Once again this is not black and white imagery. This is symbolic imagery. You offer yourself the imagery of winning the lottery in association with validating to yourself that you do create outcomes in the moment. Even those outcomes which you partially believe are impossible to generate, you may actually accomplish and offer yourself what you deem to be a successfulness. But this is associated with all of your movement, not merely the lottery.
STEVEN: Well, I think weíre close to the end of the time. Iím going to talk to Mary for a few minutes after the session, so I think I wonít ask any more questions. But I will thank you once again for the insights, for the information, for the energy.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. You have much to assimilate in this conversation. Ha ha ha!
STEVEN: I do!
ELIAS: I shall be greatly anticipating our next meeting and our continued conversations. I am tremendously acknowledging of you in your creativity in what you have accomplished thus far.
STEVEN: Thank you. I look forward to our continued interaction as well.
ELIAS: Be encouraged, my friend. You are generating significant movement in the direction that you want.
I offer to you, and shall continue to do so, tremendous affection and my energy of supportiveness to you.
STEVEN: Itís much appreciated.
ELIAS: This day I extend to you in fondness au revoir.
STEVEN: Au revoir, Elias.
Elias departs at 12:32 PM.
© 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.