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Wednesday, May 26, 1999

<  Session 404 (Private/Phone)  >

“Different Orientations in Relationships”

“Redefining Helpfulness”

Participants: Mary (Michael), Dawn (Sarah), and Michael (Delal).

Elias arrives at 2:57 PM. (Arrival time is 13 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!


ELIAS: We meet again!

MICHAEL: Yes, we do! (Elias chuckles) We had a great day yesterday, flushing a lot of beliefs after our toilet was fixed! (Elias laughs) Dawn is going to start off today.

DAWN: Yes. We had some discussion with Mary just now about what we talked about with orientation yesterday, and I have a question, which we discussed a couple of years ago, that has a different perspective now. It’s the one where we still find ourselves, Michael and I, being isolated from others and sometimes frustrated that people don’t initiate contact with us unless they need something from us. We’re wondering how to deal with this and what kind of strides we’ve made. The information on orientation seems to shed a new perspective.

ELIAS: Quite. Now; let me explain to you initially, I have refrained from offering certain elements of information previously, for individuals within physical focus were not inclining in the direction of allowing themselves the ability to assimilate this information which I offer presently. I have offered information to you previously in response to your questioning, but in also recognizing what you shall be accepting of.

Now; were I to have breached this area of orientation at that time, I shall express to you that this would have been creating great doubt and fearfulness within you, for within that time period, you each were questioning in the area of your relationship, in the area of yourselves. You were also incorporating fearfulness within each of yourselves and much more of a lack of acceptance within each of yourselves, and in offering that information at that time period, this would have merely reinforced those areas of fear and doubt and lack of acceptance of self.

As I stated to you yesterday ... I offered you a statement that you each hold different orientations, but have chosen to be creating relationship with each other.

Now; I have offered information in explanation of these orientations, and I have expressed within those explanations that individuals choosing to be entering relationships holding different orientations shall be creating much conflict, for they speak different languages.

In this, your perceptions are very different in many areas.

Therefore, this may be creating of great elements of conflict and confusion, but I have also stated that it is not an impossibility for individuals to be holding different orientations and also engage in relationship with each other in the manner of partnership.

In this, had I offered this information to you previously, you would have been moving in the direction of doubting your creation within your relationship and moving into the thought process of doom.

Within this time framework, you have allowed yourself enough interaction with each other and enough foundational ground, so to speak, with each other in relationship that you have created a type of solidity. Therefore, you are allowing yourselves more of an ability to hold within challenges, recognizing that although you present yourselves with challenges in different manners, this is not to say that you may not be moving through those challenges or accomplishing within those challenges.

In this, you have chosen to be interactive with each other and engaging this type of relationship to be offering yourselves more of an understanding, in an intimate manner, of another individual’s perception within reality. This offers you the opportunity to be extending this outwardly also, for you are intimately involved with each other and therefore you engage these challenges intimately together, and in this, you offer yourselves more information.

Many individuals hold different types of relationships with other individuals holding different orientation from themselves, but they also shall automatically, many, many times, move in the direction of dismissing challenges and not addressing to them in the area of differences between themselves and other individuals and not engaging the energy and the action to be understanding of differences within perception, for they do not hold an intimate relationship with the other person.

Now; in this, you each have chosen, in agreement with each other, to be engaging this type of action.

You have each inquired many times with myself how you may be efficiently helpful and interactive within this shift. I have repeatedly expressed to you to be concentrating upon self and to be noticing your behaviors and your creations within self.

You also offer yourselves the opportunity to be practicing and noticing with each other, for in moving into acceptance of self and of other individuals, you also need be turning your attention to the reality of perception, and that each of you creates your reality individually and holds differences in your perceptions.

In this, as you offer yourselves the opportunity to intimately interact with each other, noticing your behavior, your responses, your interactions – and noticing the other individual’s behaviors and responses and interactions and the differences within them – you offer yourselves the opportunity to view how individuals create their reality and that no reality is right or wrong, that all of reality IS reality, that one individual’s perception is no less reality than another individual’s perception, regardless of whether you are understanding of it or not.

You also offer yourselves a unique challenge in creating this type of relationship, in offering an opportunity to more intimately view your own individual automatic responses to another individual holding a different perception and not to be shying away from that interaction.

Many times within physical focus, individuals may interact with other individuals holding different orientation, and as they face themselves with these differences, they retreat from these differences and they are not continuing interaction in certain areas, for they are recognizing that this be requiring looking to self, addressing to their individual responsibility of self and how they are interactive, recognizing that other individuals create their reality differently, but it IS reality.

And in this, they look not to their own creations and their own manifestations and responses and behaviors within their focus, but move into automatic, familiar areas of creation – of expressing accountability to another individual, that it is their responsibility to be altering their expression to fit with the individual’s own expression. Are you understanding thus far?


DAWN: I think so. I think it relates to a lot of other things we were going to ask about today.

ELIAS: In this, you each have offered yourselves the opportunity to move beyond this point. I am not expressing to you that there is great ease in this choice that you have engaged, for I have been quite expressive recently, in explanation of these orientations, that this presents large challenges (Michael laughs) and may be creating of intensity in conflict and confusion, but that you may be moving through this and that it is temporary.

Now; be understanding that each individual’s “temporary” is different from another individual’s “temporary.” Therefore, temporary within physical terms may be one year or may be ten years, but it is temporary, and if continuing to allow yourselves openness and continuing to offer yourselves information and understanding, you shall also move quickly into the temporariness of these challenges and move beyond the conflict and confusion, and in this expression, each of you shall allow yourselves the ability to be very affecting, not merely subjectively but objectively, in conjunction with this shift in consciousness.

MICHAEL: Thank you. A great answer!

DAWN: Very interesting.

MICHAEL: Which orientation am I?

ELIAS: You hold the orientation of common.

MICHAEL: How does that relate to empathy? Is that a different sense that is on top of orientation? Not on top, but in addition to?

ELIAS: Yes. Your empathic sense is an inner sense that you all hold within physical focus. This is irregardless to your choice for orientation.

Now; as to your previous question in relation to what you view as to your interaction with other individuals, this also relates quite strongly to this challenge that you have presented yourselves with in combining your orientations.

You hold different orientations – one soft, one common.

In these expressions, the soft moves in the direction of holding great importance in the area of interaction. In this, you are compelled, in a manner of speaking, to be interactive with other individuals. The orientation of common does not necessarily move in this direction. It may, or it may not.

Therefore, you introduce an element into your focus together of struggling, so to speak, in attempting to incorporate both of these orientations into one combined expression within your relationship.

One moves in the direction of holding ease in being interactive with other individuals, but feels no necessity in draw, and may be interactive or may not be interactive. The other holds a very strong draw for continued interaction ... which you may be acquiring solace in one direction, of allowing yourself the continuous interaction with your partner, but at times, this may appear to be not enough.

Conversely, you, Delal, may move in the direction of feeling quite comfortable being interactive or not being interactive. It matters not. But you are responsive to your partner and wish to be pleasing and supportive of your partner, and therefore move in the direction of expressing in like manner of wishing to be more interactive with other individuals. Your motivation moves directly in relation to your partner, which is another expression of common. You shall be quite responsive to those individuals that you view as being close to you, in physical terms, in the area of relationships, but you may not necessarily be drawn to be interactive with other individuals within a continuous manner, so to speak.

Other individual’s creations also are not quite as intensely affecting of you. You may move yourself more easily, so to speak, in the direction of accepting that other individuals are creating of their reality, and you shall create – in the opinion and the thought process within yourself – that if it is not directly affecting of you, it matters not. Conversely, your partner (chuckling) may be expressing, “It matters not that this individual’s expression is not directly affecting of me! I am affected!” (Laughter) And so she is!

For you are interconnected objectively with all other individuals, and in this, you are quite realistically – in reality – being affected, for you do not separate your experience from other individual’s experiences, regardless of whether you hold personal involvement with them or objectively even recognize them and know them, in your objective terms. It matters not. You are aware objectively that you are interconnected and that you are not separated from them. You allow yourself the experience of this interconnectedness, and therefore you allow yourself the responsiveness in that interconnectedness.

In this, you each offer yourselves a fullness of your own expressions, but you offer yourselves the challenge of accepting the expressions of each other, continuing to be accepting of your own expressions, but not discounting the expressions of each other.

DAWN: Very interesting.

MICHAEL: What a wonderful concept! I’m glad we finally got a hold of it. It’s going to be very helpful, and challenging at the same time! (Elias chuckles)

DAWN: This may relate actually to orientation. I found recently that in social situations, even with people that I know or family, that the communications, the conversations, are kind of shallow, and that sometimes people wander off. I have stopped wondering so much if I did something wrong or have offended, but it’s an uncomfortable situation. Does this relate to that at all?

ELIAS: Quite. I shall express to you also that within this time framework, as this wave in consciousness continues, you shall continue to be experiencing an intensity in these types of experiences and you shall also continue to draw these types of experiences to yourself, that you may be noticing in these different interactions, and this offers you more information as to your own responses and more information as to who and what you are, and you may also incorporate an understanding into the expressions of other individuals.

Within this time framework, as this wave in consciousness continues, many individuals holding the orientation of soft may be experiencing elements of impatience with certain other individuals holding different orientations, for as you have expressed, within your perception they appear to be addressing to mundane, surface elements of their reality, and you move your attention into areas that you deem to be more important. Within your perception, your reality, certain directions ARE more important. You look to reality and how you create your reality – emotional expressions, philosophy, perception of focus, creations and abilities, acceptance, all of these subject matters – as holding great importance and being quite serious and worthy of your attention, and in this, you also hold the expectation that other individuals “should” be recognizing the importance of these subject matters also. (1)

And what be the matter with these individuals that concern themselves with mundane issues of their focus, as to “How shall the weather be changing this day?” or “How shall my vehicle be moving this day?” or “My interaction with my coworker has not progressed in the manner that I had anticipated recently!” And you, within your thought process, are expressing, “It matters not! It matters not! I am impatient with you! Cease and desist this mundane conversation and attend to the seriousness and importance of reality!” I express to you, this is quite common of a response presently within the individuals that hold this orientation of soft, for you are all quite serious as to your realities and the importance of your realities!

DAWN: So, my impression – that in those situations I am overwhelming people – is right on!

ELIAS: In certain expressions, yes! (Chuckling)

This is also your opportunity to view your behavior – not to be judging of your behavior, for this is your choice of orientation and it is quite natural and it is quite acceptable, but to be noticing your presentment of yourself within your behaviors in relation to other individuals, and to be recognizing other individual’s reality through their perceptions and recognizing that their orientation may be different from your choice of orientation.

Their reality is quite important to them also! In this, their expression may be different, but it holds no less intensity or importance than does your reality within your attention.

This offers you also a great opportunity to practice acceptance, which may be quite a challenge for you within physical focus! (Chuckling, and laughter)

MICHAEL: Actually, as it relates to my orientation, I’m actually doing pretty well as it relates to Dawn’s family, because I am choosing to be quiet most of the time or not to engage in that conversation that I don’t feel is important, but I don’t think that their conversations are unimportant. So, am I staying in line with my orientation?

ELIAS: Quite, but I express to you that within the orientation of common, you move into the direction quite frequently of assessing within yourself the situations that other individuals are creating, and expressing to yourself your own thought processes and ideas that you may be creating of their reality much more efficiently (Michael laughs) and that you may be offering them helpfulness, for you are quite understanding of the situations that they are creating!

Individuals within the orientation of common, as they are creating quite efficiently outwardly [and] also automatically look outwardly within their reality, hold a leaning in the direction of assessing their individual worth and measurement by outward expressions much more than individuals holding the orientation of soft or intermediate.

(Humorously) As you view turbulence within your world, this is the assessment and measurement of turbulence within yourself. For you, of course, are the center of the universe! (Michael cracks up) Therefore, if all is turbulent around you, you are single-handedly creating this! If all is calm and status quo within your outward reality, you are also quite offering yourself the pat upon the back that you are creating this also!

(Very tongue-in-cheek) You may lean in the direction of assuming personal responsibility quite often for other individual’s realities, for you are responsible for all of the ills that befall mankind and all of the individuals that you are interactive with, but you also simultaneously may be creating of every individual’s reality much more efficiently and correctly than they are creating of their own reality! (Chuckling, and laughter)

MICHAEL: I am, after all, the God of Delal!

ELIAS: Ha ha ha!

Therefore, you each hold your differences in your challenges. This is not to say that individuals within each of the orientations do not assume quite often issues in the area of personal responsibility, but I shall also express to you that individuals within the orientation of soft and intermediate may be moving through these issues of personal responsibility slightly more easily than individuals within the focus of common, for they are not attending their attention as fully outwardly as individuals holding the orientation of common. Therefore, this may be a continuing expression and challenge within individuals holding the orientation of common.

This is not to say that all hope is lost and that you are doomed forever within your focus to be holding personal responsibility for other individuals! I am merely expressing to you that you may be moving in the direction of attending to this more extensively than another individual may be, but you shall also allow yourself accomplishment in this area as you widen your awareness. (Chuckling)

MICHAEL: Alright. So, in line with all this wonderful knowledge we’re gaining, I have, I think, managed to merge three questions into one. I think they’re all related to change and my interpretation of it or my perception of it. The first part has to do with my fear of ingesting new foods or going to new places, and the second one is about my friend Patricia being uncomfortable in her apartment because it’s not the way that it needs to be, and this relates also back to the question I had yesterday about my job and all the changes and being the center of control and making sure everything runs smoothly. I was wondering if you could comment on some of that.

ELIAS: In relation to the discussion that we are engaging presently, let me also offer you more information as to these orientations, for view within physical focus a very COMMON (grinning) expression, that being the issue which is viewed as control.

Now; individuals holding the orientation of common very commonly are exhibiting this issue of control, for they are wishing to be manipulating of all of their reality, and as I have stated, all of everyone else’s reality. In this, it is intermingled with the issue of personal responsibility, which enhances the issue of control.

Another aspect of this issue of control is that as you are creating outwardly, there is a perception that you need be holding control of all that you are creating, and although subjectively you hold the knowing that it is unnecessary for control and that all you need be controlling of – in a very figurative manner of speaking – is self, you are not creating merely inwardly. You are creating in outward expression. Therefore, as you are sending energy outwardly, you wish to be controlling of that, for you are confusing direction with control.

Control is a holding to. Directing is merely directing, allowing a free flow with a direction. In this, you confuse these different expressions.

You are of the thought process that directing is controlling and holding to the energy, being objectively quite sure that the energy is moving in precisely the manner that you wish it to be! (Grinning, and laughter) I express to you that this enters into much of your expressions in relation to your interaction with other individuals and your interaction within your environment of your employment.

Now; as to the situation with this other individual, what is being presented to you presently is a mirror action, for this also is very commonly an expression of orientation of common – a dislike and disdain for objective change.

Now; this is not to say that individuals within the orientations of soft and intermediate may not also be expressive in the direction of disdain in the area of change at times also, but for very different reasons.

As to the orientation of common, there is a disdain for objective change, for this is threatening in the area of control. As elements of your reality change – even as you choose the change; it matters not; it is continuing to be an expression of change or alternation within your focus – this is unsettling to you.

This individual of which you speak also becomes unsettled in change and mirrors that to you, and you draw upon this expression and this energy in recognition of the familiarity of it. Therefore, you magnate to the sharing of these types of expressions.

It is not necessarily that things, so to speak, are out of place, but that there is movement in the area of change and this creates a feeling of out of place, and in this, it is unsettling, and there is an opinion held of dislike for this type of situation and expression.

Therefore, what you are engaging is a mirror action to each other, that you may be noticing of your own individual behaviors, which is what I have offered to you yesterday in directing your attention to your own behavior in noticing how you are participating in certain situations and how you are moving into automatic actions and responses within your individual behaviors in certain expressions.

There is an automatic questioning of self in certain situations. There is an automatic justification of self in other situations, and THIS is the area that I am directing your attention to presently, for within this time framework, you may express to yourself that you are ready to be addressing to deeper areas of your awareness.

MICHAEL: Thank you. I’m noticing a “common” theme! (Elias chuckles) I guess it’s no mistake that the person we’re talking about has the same orientation. (Elias chuckles)

DAWN: I think my last two questions, like Michael said, kind of lump together. I was going to ask about becoming obsessed with people who seem to create lots of drama and seem to be making no progress, in their own assessment or anyone else’s, and sometimes when people act like that, I just have a big dislike for them and I don’t understand why, but that seems to relate to the orientation of soft.

ELIAS: Partially.

Now; let me also express to you that within this time framework, you move yourself into a slightly different position with this particular type of draw that you create with yourself, for you do draw yourself to interactions with individuals in these types of expressions and situations, as do other individuals.

Now; in this, within your present probabilities and within your present movements, what you are creating is another opportunity. This is not merely related to your choice of orientation, although in part, as I have stated, it is related to your orientation. But another aspect of this, in why you draw yourself to these types of interactions with these individuals, is that you may recognize your own participation and REDEFINE HELPFULNESS.

You hold aspects of belief systems which direct you in certain manners that express quite defined methods of helpfulness and supportiveness to other individuals, and the expression is to be offering to them another “method” as to how they may be repairing their “broken” situation or as to how they may be creating more efficiently within their situation, or you may also be attempting to be offering helpfulness and supportiveness to other individuals in attempting to be easing their expression.

But you are also noticing that you are experiencing frustration as they are not accepting your expression. They are not following your advice; they are not accepting of your expression. Once again, what be the matter with these individuals?

I express to you, this once again is your opportunity that you are presenting to yourself in not creating the judgment upon the choice that other individuals are engaging within their focus, understanding that they may hold dissatisfaction with their own creation and you may hold dissatisfaction with their creation also, but you are not creating their reality. They are creating their reality, and they are creating it in the manner that is the most beneficial to them within the now.

Therefore, your interaction engages a change, in offering yourself the opportunity to be interactive but to be accepting of their choice, recognizing that you may be helpful to them in the most efficient manner by being accepting of yourself, for in being accepting of yourself, you also shall be noticing of your behavior and your responses, and as you are noticing of your own responses, you shall also notice each time you are placing a judgment upon another individual’s creation, be it good or bad. It matters not. They are equal in judgment.

Therefore, in continuing to draw yourself to these types of situations and expressions of other individuals, you allow yourself now to view them differently and to be interactive in approaching other individuals, NOT in judgment but merely in supportiveness, by offering the example of the straight little sapling.

You need not offer any other expression. You need not be directing. You need not be offering helpfulness in suggestion. You need not be assuming personal responsibility, but merely being expressive of your own acceptance of self and continuing within your own trust and your own direction, attending to self, and this shall project the straight little sapling, which shall be more helpful and supportive than any other expression that you may offer.

DAWN: Makes sense. (Elias chuckles)

MICHAEL: I have a question about my grandfather. When I was in the hospital with him ... he had a heart attack, and Dawn and I both went to visit him. When I was there, I gave him quite a bit of energy, but later I felt very, very drained, and it kind of wore me out for several days, and I just want to verify ... I was feeling that the energy was not actually necessary for him because he made his choice, and my energy was just giving away free energy for no reason, and I didn’t need to do that, and I should have just accepted what was going on. I’d also like to know if ... I know he had some memory problems objectively. I feel that he knows that I really care for him and love him in a deeper sense, in his essence, and I guess I’d like to release some worry about that.

ELIAS: I shall express to you that this individual holds an awareness of your interaction and of your concern and of your lovingness and is accepting of this, and is also accepting of your expressions within energy but chooses to be reconfiguring that energy in the manner that shall be the most beneficial to himself, and not necessarily in the manner that you are expressing it. I express to you also, it is not a waste of energy to be offering this type of expression to another individual, for if it is accepted, it may be applied to the individual within their focus in whichever manner they so choose.

As to the subsequent experience that you have created, this is directly associated with very strong beliefs in the area that you hold a limited supply of energy within any particular given moment. Therefore, if you are expelling tremendous amounts of energy, you also must be recouping, so to speak.

Now; I express to you that you may encounter physical affectingness and responses if you are removing entirely your subjective awareness from your body consciousness. You may be experiencing physical effects in response to this disengagement dependent upon the time framework that you are disengaging your subjective communication with your physical body consciousness. You may also experience certain affectingnesses physically if you are engaging energy exchanges.

Now; as to offering energy to another individual, I am not expressing that you have not created a reality of a feeling of fatigue and affectedness, for you have. But this reality that you have created is directly associated with the belief that you hold a limited supply or amount of energy within any particular time framework, and that you must be regenerating from that type of action.

Let me express to you, you are not a vehicle or a vessel. Once again, you are not the mirror image of your automobile. You are a physically focused expression of essence with an endless supply of energy, and in this, unlike your physically focused vehicles, you need not fill up, so to speak, with your fuel and run out, so to speak, of your fuel, for you have an endless supply of your fuel, which is energy, for you ARE energy.

In this, there are certain situations that you may be creating within physical focus that may be affecting of you, but it is not for the reason that you are depleting your amount or your supply of energy, but that you may be directing your energy in other areas which no longer focuses on directing your physical body consciousness, and in this, your physical body consciousness becomes confused and may be responsive in that confusion and may be responding in different types of expressions of affectingness, but this is not related to a limited supply of energy. It is merely a lack of direction subjectively as to the functioning of your physical form. This is quite a different situation and expression.

Now; be remembering, I am not discounting of your experience, for you are creating this type of experience in reality. Therefore, the affectingness of it is quite real. It is merely unnecessary; not that the expression of lent energy is unnecessary or pointless, but that the affectingness that you place upon yourself is unnecessary. Are you understanding?

MICHAEL: Very much so. That was very helpful. Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

MICHAEL: If you don’t mind, I’d like to do about four more families and names.

ELIAS: Very well.

MICHAEL: My grandfather Zayde, who I believe belongs to Milumet and is aligned with Borledim. (Pause)

ELIAS: Alignment, Milumet; belonging to Sumafi.

MICHAEL: Do you have an essence name? (Pause)

ELIAS: Essence name, Crain; C-R-A-I-N. (crane)

MICHAEL: And the next one is my grandmother, who I believe belongs to Gramada and is aligned with Vold. (Pause)

ELIAS: Essence family, Sumafi; alignment, Gramada. Essence name, Handel; H-A-N-D-E-L. (hon’dle)

MICHAEL: The next one is my mother-in-law, Gayle, who I believe belongs to Milumet, aligned with Tumold. (Pause)

ELIAS: Correct. Essence name, Mista; M-I-S-T-A. (mees’ta)

MICHAEL: All right, the last one. My brother wanted to know if this is his last incarnation – David.

ELIAS: Correct.

MICHAEL: Do I have time for one quick question?


MICHAEL: Alright. I have been reading Carlos Castaneda’s “Magical Passages,” and in it he speaks of an assemblage point that is, he says, on our energy field, where we assemble our world view. I’m wondering, is this feature really a part of our energy field, or is he just using a different language to explain similar things?

ELIAS: Let me explain to you that your energy field may be incorporating of much more than you allow yourself an awareness of. You look to your energy centers and attach great importance to them and the manipulation of them and the workings of them, so to speak, but you look to your energy field and you create a thought process of little importance, and create an assumption that this is merely radiated energy that surrounds you and holds little functioning.

I express to you that this is a manifestation of your energy, and you may be quite directing of this energy. It is an element of you that radiates beyond your physical form and may be expressive of much more than you realize.

You already hold your world view. It is held within energy and is an element of you, but it is not a thing, in a manner of speaking, but a movement of energy which may be translated into an identification of thought process and philosophy. But within its natural state – not translation – it is merely a movement of energy which is incorporated within your energy, therefore is also an element of your energy field. Are you understanding?

MICHAEL: Yes. I’m asking so I can expand my awareness of it more.

ELIAS: You may, if you are so choosing. Your energy field is, in a manner of speaking, a portal facilitating your movement through consciousness.

MICHAEL: Thank you. That’s a good starting point. I’ll kind of work on that some. (Elias chuckles)

Thank you for another great session. We feel like we’re improving and feeling better about things, and we appreciate the session.

DAWN: Definitely.

ELIAS: Very good, and I am quite acknowledging of you each also.

I express to you each much encouragement and great affection. In anticipation of our next meeting, I offer you great lovingness, and express au revoir.

MICHAEL & DAWN: Thank you.

Elias departs at 4:08 PM.


(1) I have moved the word “being” in the following phrase: “... as holding great importance and being quite serious and worthy of your attention ...” It was originally stated: “... as being holding great importance and quite serious and worthy of your attention ...”

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