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Wednesday, December 22, 1999

<  Session 526 (Private)  >

“Exploring Emotional Qualities”

“Mother-Daughter Interaction”

“Turn Your Attention to You!”

Participants: Mary (Michael), and a new participant, Elaina Joy (Soskia).

Elias arrives at 1:49 PM. (Arrival time is 37 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon. (Smiling)

ELAINA JOY: Hi, Elias.

ELIAS: You have inquiries this day?

ELAINA JOY: Yes, I do. Interestingly enough, I just went to the car to get my daughter’s inquiries, and some of them would be mine as well. So, may I start there?

ELIAS: You may proceed.

ELAINA JOY: Well, my daughter first asks, will her career in acting, singing, and dance pick up? Is it something that she’s on the right track with? This is an eleven-year-old asking, from her heart, the things that are important to her.

ELIAS: I am aware. Let me express, I shall offer a response to most of her questioning in one answer, and I shall address to a different line of her questioning with another response.

As to the subject matter of her direction, this is an expression outwardly, objectively of an inner desire which follows quite efficiently with this individual’s intent in this focus.

This individual holds an intent in this particular focus of expression in creativity in a manner that shall be involving other individuals also. This offers her the opportunity to view and explore self and the depth of how she may be manipulating energy in this focus, and also offers her the opportunity to explore interaction with other individuals.

Therefore, with respect to the direction that she has chosen to be expressing this creativity, yes, she shall continue, and through the expression of her desire, she holds the ability to be moving her desire into an objective manifestation.

Now; she also creates obstacles for herself.

In this, at times there is an expression that she projects objectively of stubbornness, which her evaluation objectively of this stubbornness is defined quite differently. Her definition of this objectively is that she is offering an expression of independence. Therefore, the definitions are confused.

In this confusion, there is a lack of allowance presently – which in the most probable probabilities shall continue for a time framework – in that she projects her energy in a manner of control. Therefore, there is a lack of allowance of input in information which is offered in helpfulness from other individuals.

ELAINA JOY: Absolutely! (Elias chuckles) My biggest frustration is that I could help so much and so sweetly if it wasn’t so hard to get to her. I end up helping in a way that’s very icky because the help is already challenged, it’s already kept from happening, it’s already blocked. By the time she lets it in, I have beaten down these doors, and then I’m resentful and angry because I don’t get to do it well, nicely, caringly.

ELIAS: And we shall also address to this situation. In this, let me offer to you information that may be clarifying to both of you, and may subsequently be helpful in your interaction with each other.

First of all, I shall express to you that you hold many focuses together, but let me also express to you that you may identify yourself, in your common vernacular and your common language that is accepted presently, as relatively a new soul. She, conversely, may be identified as an old soul.

ELAINA JOY: Is that so?

ELIAS: These are identifications that you hold within physical focus. In actuality, there is no age, but the identification addresses to how many focuses one essence chooses to manifest within a particular dimension. In this particular dimension, you choose to focus few, relatively speaking, focuses or manifestations physically in this particular dimension, not in all dimensions.

ELAINA JOY: Understood.

ELIAS: This other individual holds many, many focuses in this particular physical dimension, which translates in your objective beliefs as the differentiation between an old soul and a new soul.

Therefore, in this, your attention of essence does not magnate as strongly to this particular physical dimension as it may to other physical dimensions and other areas of consciousness.

Your daughter in this focus holds many focuses and directs her attention quite intensely in this particular physical dimension, for she holds a fascination with the movement of the intricacies of this particular physical dimension.

ELAINA JOY: And yet she hates history, and anything having to do with anything historical.

ELIAS: Which is quite understandable, for this essence is participating in all of these actions. Therefore, within this particular focus and in conjunction with this shift in consciousness, the attention of this focus does not move in the direction of history or any actions that may be relative to past events, so to speak. Underlyingly, subjectively, in this focus she holds a knowing that she is participating in all of these time frameworks that you identify as history presently. Therefore, it holds no fascination for her in this focus.

ELAINA JOY: Makes sense.

ELIAS: Now; you also, in the focuses that you manifest within in this dimension and participate with her, have created relationships in different expressions in which she has exhibited the role of authority. This bleeds through into this focus quite strongly.

One of the reasons that this obviously bleeds through in this particular focus is that she is manifest now, as you are, within the throes of this shift in consciousness, and small ones enter into this manifestation with more of an openness and an allowance for the movement of this shift. Therefore, there is a tremendous expression of allowance of bleed-through of energy from other focuses, and as they are not past, as you are aware, it is quite easy to be bleeding through.

In this, there is an acceptance of that energy within her, and in the acceptance of that energy, in the manifestation that it is projected in the other focuses without a reconstruction of that energy to be inserted into this focus, this objectively translates into the manifestation of conflict.

ELAINA JOY: Yes, and of stubbornness, and of her being in control. Ever since she was oh so little, she just would not take an order. She just would not take a direction. She would negotiate it. “I’ll do this if you do that.” It’s a phrase I think I’ll carry all of our lives together! “I’ll do this if you do that.” Or, “I’ll do this if I can do this first.” It’s never been clean and clear. I’m accused of being such a bad mother because I seem to hold no authority with her. I feel helpless. I know I have only the amount of authority she desires to give me.

ELIAS: Ah! Now; we shall address to this situation.


ELIAS: For you both have created a scenario of interaction between you in your interaction in which you assume roles which neither of you hold comfort with, and both of you incorporate frustration and conflict, for you are continuously (hitting his fists together) and engaging the struggle.

Now; in this, I shall direct your attention first of all to you, to self. Recognize, this individual does not dictate your expressions.

ELAINA JOY: It’s hard to remember sometimes, but I do know that.

ELIAS: No other individual creates your reality, and you may not create her reality. Therefore, you are faced with the question of, how then shall we interact? For this is the direction that you both engage – she attempting to be dictating and creating your reality, and you attempting to be dictating and creating her reality, and neither of you may be accomplishing of this action.

Therefore, in response to how you may be addressing to this situation in this struggle, I address to you, for you objectively participate in this conversation with myself presently, and she does not, for she has chosen ...

ELAINA JOY: Not to be here.

ELIAS: ... not to participate, for she has chosen not to listen, for she knows already.

And in this, I shall express to you, allow yourself to turn your concentration to self, for she shall continue to be pushing and she shall continue to be attempting to dictate your behavior and your expressions and how you “should” be creating your reality, but you hold the choice to participate.

In this, as you allow yourself to recognize that she creates her reality – and has been from the onset – you may allow yourself permission to turn your attention to you.

And in this, recognize that your most efficient expression in your wish for helpfulness with respect to your daughter is to be not participating in the game, for as you continue to participate, she continues to receive the payoff, and the game continues, and you receive your payoff also.

ELAINA JOY: I’m sure, but I’m not sure what it is.

ELIAS: Your payoff is the perpetuation of your assessment of your performance, and which creates the perception of self and your measure of self. As you continue to participate, you continue to allow the expressions, and in this, you receive the payoff, which you express within yourself as the devaluation of self, which is a confirmation of your assessment of what you are creating already.

“I am a failure. I am inadequately creating this relationship. I am inadequately ‘dealing with’ these situations,” in your very common vernacular. “I am not asserting myself as the parent, and therefore I am not asserting my authority.” And you are offering yourself the validation of each discounting of self that you offer to yourself, and you allow another individual to dictate to you how you shall measure you.

Therefore, I express to you, your responsibility in this relationship is to you.

Your participation in this relationship, first of all, in agreement, has merely been to facilitate a physical entry of manifestation into this dimension. Beyond this, it is your choice of how you shall participate in the mass beliefs and what you choose to offer yourself in information through the experiences and interaction that you choose to participate in with this individual.

But responsibility is not an element of the package, so to speak. This is a mass belief system. You may choose to participate, and I am not expressing to you that this is wrong.

ELAINA JOY: You mean feeling responsible for a child and how they perceive, how they manifest all they do? I am aware, at least....

ELIAS: Intellectually! (Grinning)

ELAINA JOY: I don’t know! (Elias chuckles) I know she was that way when she was born, and I can track her behaviors now all the way back to being a very young infant, many of them. There’s the nature and the impetus – that hasn’t changed – willfulness, stubbornness, those things, but I don’t say them on a really base level. I appreciate that she has strong will. I’ve never known what to do with it, but I’ve not wanted to smash it or curb it. Many people advised me, when she was eighteen months old or three years old, “You must train this will. Don’t break her spirit, but train her will,” that kind of terminology, which just made me ill at the time. I knew that wasn’t it, but I didn’t know what was. I still feel as though I can gain her cooperation when it’s a very right thing and she gets it. There are times when I feel that her cooperation should come and it doesn’t because she is a child and her warp at that point is self-serving, and she doesn’t come forward. But I still don’t know how, how....

ELIAS: Let me also offer you another element of information. Each of you within this particular focus hold differences in orientation also. You hold an orientation of soft in this focus. She holds an orientation of common in this focus.

Now; you also....

ELAINA JOY: I don’t know the definitions of those. Maybe I should.

ELIAS: You may be ... this is not a situation of should! Do not be discounting of yourself!

I shall express to you that you may be inquiring of Michael subsequent to this session, and he shall be offering to you the information that I have offered in explanation of these orientations. Therefore, we shall not occupy your time framework presently.

You also express a manifestation in this particular focus as an emotionally focused individual. You may inquire of Michael of these terminologies also. Your daughter manifests in this focus as a politically focused individual.

These differences that you choose within these manifestations are not objective choices. These are choices that you have engaged prior to your manifestation as the design of each of these manifestations.

ELAINA JOY: I think I understand that.

ELIAS: These designs of these manifestations create the base layer of your perception, and your perception creates all of your reality.

Now; this also is significant in your understanding objectively of these differences, for you are speaking different languages with each other. You process information differently, you input information differently, and you express differently.

In the expression of yourself and how you assimilate information and experiences, in your physical terms, there is a tremendous sensitivity and a tremendous expression of emotional quality. This sets into motion quite easily the expression of discounting of self, in conjunction with mass belief systems and your officially accepted reality within your societies.

ELAINA JOY: (Emotionally) I know that people have passed beyond here and look at us and think it’s so ... Ramtha used to call it social consciousness, and I understand that we just really get so stuck in it. It’s hard to even imagine things beyond it, at times. I think I could, at one time, imagine it better than I do today.

ELIAS: I am offering you initially an explanation of self, that you may allow yourself to familiarize yourself with you, and in that action, you may allow yourself to be more accepting of self, and in that movement, you shall allow yourself to turn your attention with you, and this shall be much more helpful in relation to your daughter than your expression objectively of the “shoulds.”

The “shoulds” are inconsequential as they are expressed to you from her, and they are inconsequential as they are expressed from you to her. For it matters not what you identify as what you should or should not be doing or accomplishing or not doing. What holds significance are the choices that you ARE creating, and why you are creating them and how you are creating them.

Each time you project demands to another individual or to your daughter, you are expressing a discounting of them objectively. You are objectively expressing in words and energy your devaluation of that individual, and you are projecting that energy to them in your assessment of judgment that they are not creating their reality efficiently enough and that you may be creating their reality better.

But be remembering, it is also the choice of the other individual to be receiving that expression. The difference in these expressions – of your orientations and of the focuses that you have chosen as emotionally focused and politically focused and how you create your realities each through your perceptions – is that as these types of expressions are projected to you, you willingly are accepting of them and allow the energy to penetrate.

As you project them outwardly, you are expressing a confirmation of how you are viewing within yourself, and therefore, this is a mirroring outward. But she is not receiving in the same manner that you are receiving, for she has created a buffer, and therefore does not allow the penetration that you allow.

ELAINA JOY: It’s good that she doesn’t.

ELIAS: It is neither good or bad! (Grinning)

ELAINA JOY: There’s no bad! (Laughing)

ELIAS: It merely is a choice, but it creates less conflict within her. It creates more conflict within you.

ELAINA JOY: I assume that when you talk about demands on others about their creations, that includes my clients and my work that I’ve done for many years, and relationships, and I’m imagining that goes right down the line.

ELIAS: Let me also express to you, do not confuse tolerance with acceptance, for tolerance is temporary, and it also carries expectation.

ELAINA JOY: And judgment.

ELIAS: Quite, and may be camouflaged quite efficiently as noble. But it is merely a temporary expression which holds expectations, and it is not an expression of acceptance.

ELAINA JOY: Well, let me ask you ... I might as well challenge my perceptions here. (Elias chuckles) My relationship with Darrell ... I like to think that I came about as close to an unconditionally loving relationship as I have yet been able to. My greatest measure of that was when he came to be with the mother of his child, and I really didn’t feel jealous. To my knowledge, however I scour, I don’t feel jealous. I felt loving towards both of them, all of them, all three of them, and I was proud of myself that I had achieved that at least once in my life, ‘cause I know I don’t unconditionally love my daughter ‘cause I have so many expectations and so many demands. Did I come closer then, at least? (Very emotionally)

ELIAS: (Gently and softly) You have offered yourself an experience that you may draw upon to be encouraging to yourself, and to allow you to view that you do hold the ability to be accepting, not merely of other individuals, but of self, for you may not achieve this expression if you not allowing yourself to be accepting of self.

Let me express to you ... I may address you as Soskia, may I not?

ELAINA JOY: Yes. (Crying)

ELIAS: Very well, Soskia. Offer to yourself this nurturing that you so willing shall offer to your daughter.

Some individuals, as they choose to be manifest within this physical dimension, choose to be experiencing the depth and breadth of the emotional quality of this particular dimension, which is a wondrous creation! It is a magnificence in design that few individuals allow themselves the exploration of ...

ELAINA JOY: No, because it doesn’t look like anything.

ELIAS: ... for the reason that you are expressing presently within your thoughts! (Grinning)

ELAINA JOY: It doesn’t produce anything.

ELIAS: Ah, but it does!

ELAINA JOY: It doesn’t seem as though it produces anything. Some people find me so intense. They shun me because I say my thoughts and feelings, and for plenty of other reasons, I know, but I know that this is also key. (Crying) I love that exploration, I love it!

ELIAS: (Gently) Quite! And I shall express to you that you have challenged yourself quite strongly in this focus in your choice of orientation and your choice of emotional focus and your exploration of the breadth of its expressions.

And in this, within the influence of mass belief systems and the influence of your society that you have manifest within, your challenge lies in your allowance of yourself to recognize your abilities – your abilities to be expressing of yourself, to be continuing in your exploration, to be continuing within your intent in your exploration – and not to be incorporating the automatic direction of discounting of yourself.

You have chosen to be manifest in quite a challenging situation, so to speak, but you also offer yourself the participation in this shift in conscious, which offers you a tremendous expression of energy to be actualizing your exploration.

I shall also offer to you the suggestion that you may be allowing yourself an interaction with Michael, and you may offer yourself interesting input. Michael also has manifest in this particular focus in the orientation of soft, and therefore, you shall speak the same language.

ELAINA JOY: When you say Michael, are you talking about Michael (inaudible)?


ELAINA JOY: No? Michael ... Michael?

ELIAS: The individual that you identify as Mary that facilitates this physical energy exchange.

ELAINA JOY: Yes, okay. She is named Michael.

ELIAS: Correct.


ELIAS: This individual of which you are speaking holds the orientation of common, in like manner to your daughter.

ELAINA JOY: Ah! (Elias chuckles) Aha!

ELIAS: I express to you, allow yourself a time framework this day to be engaging relaxation. I have offered an exchange of energy with you in this forum that carries much to be assimilated.

I shall also offer to you an expression of encouraging energy and shall continue to participate with you much after we are disengaged from this conversation, and you may allow yourself an objective confirmation, as I shall project – periodically (grinning) – an expression of blue that shall be reminding to you of my presence in energy in my continuation to be encouraging of you.

ELAINA JOY: (Very softly) Thank you.

ELIAS: You are very welcome.

ELAINA JOY: (Emotionally) Truly, thank you.

ELIAS: I shall continue to be participating with you, for I am recognizing of the difficulty that you are incorporating presently. But be encouraged and be of joy (grinning) as you express within this physical focus, for there be light at the end of your tunnel, and you are offering yourself the movement into more of your expression of freedom.

ELAINA JOY: (Crying) Service, like the way many people say service, isn’t something that I’ve been very interested in doing. But service in some really ... I don’t want to say important. I don’t want it to sound narcissistic....

ELIAS: Ah ah ah ah! We shall discontinue at that note of personal invalidation!

ELAINA JOY: Fine....

ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha!

ELAINA JOY: (Crying) I just want to do something important. I really think I could do something important, and I’ve always thought I could, and I’m so upset because it doesn’t ... I don’t seem to do it yet.

ELIAS: Your importance is not expressed through your daughter. It is expressed with you, in your genuine offering of you and your allowance of your energy to flow. You need not create an objective design or goal, merely a participation in your own acceptance, and as you begin the radiating of that energy, you shall draw to yourself the designs of how you shall choose to be manifesting your expression of importance, in what YOU define as important. I shall express to you that you are already offering an expression of importance!

ELAINA JOY: Sometimes, once in a while, I get that ... once in a while. (Pause, during which Elias is leaning forward and smiling at Elaina Joy in a very affectionate manner)

ELIAS: (Softly) I extend to you great energy of affection.

ELAINA JOY: (Whispering) Thank you.

ELIAS: You are very welcome.

ELAINA JOY: It is very returned.

ELIAS: I shall offer also to your daughter that she may turn her attention also to self, and not be concerning herself with the conflict of the parents. This is not her participation or her conflict.

ELAINA JOY: It’s certainly not.

ELIAS: And you may discontinue your guilt in your projection of energy with respect to this interaction and its affectingness – or seeming affectingness – in relation to your daughter.

I express to you, as you already hold an awareness of, guilt and worry [are] the two expressions that may be deemed the very closest to that of a waste of energy, for we are aware that there is no waste of energy in actuality, but were there to be ...

ELAINA JOY: That would be it.

ELIAS: ... this would be the expression of it. Therefore, do not participate in this projection of energy.

ELAINA JOY: Okay! (Laughing)


ELAINA JOY: I would love to just flick it off!

ELIAS: And the freedom that shall be derived from the simplicity of merely expressing in genuiality, “Okay!”

ELAINA JOY: Isn’t it amazing?

ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha!

ELAINA JOY: The energy just goes like this (using a hand gesture), and breathing resumes.

ELIAS: And allow yourself to continue this once you are returning to your home, and not the action of (drawing his breath in sharply and holding it). (Grinning and chuckling)

Express to yourself the reaffirmation – within a temporary time framework, as you participate in interaction with your daughter in particular, but also with other individuals – you do not create their reality and they do not create yours, and in this, affirm to yourself the permission to turn your attention to YOU.

ELAINA JOY: (Sighing) Do I even know what that looks like?

ELIAS: (Gently) You shall. You really are not as frightening as you perceive yourself to be! (Elaina Joy laughs) For how may an expression of essence be viewed as any else but wondrous?

ELAINA JOY: Only to those who can see wonder.

ELIAS: And you hold this ability. Therefore, allow yourself to view yourself as I view you. (Pause)

ELAINA JOY: Sometimes I view others that way.

ELIAS: Ah, and you are equally as wondrous of a manifestation of essence as any other individual manifest upon your planet!

ELAINA JOY: I watch. I go ahead in that direction and watch what impinges, what begins to push. Right away, what pushed was, I have to pay the rent; I have to make money; I have to support my family. (Crying) Then comes the failure; then comes the worry; then comes the guilt; then comes the not certainty. It comes so fast.

ELIAS: (Firmly) Guilt is an expression of a lack of acceptance. Worry is an expression of a lack of trust. Trust and acceptance are not synonymous.


ELIAS: In this, you worry, for you are not trusting your abilities and your natural expression. You incorporate guilt, for you are not accepting of self and the genuine expression of the gloriousness that you are.

And you may express to myself that this is an expression of words that are quite drippy within your physical expressions, and I shall express to you and to all individuals, they are quite accurate! (Elaina Joy laughs and Elias chuckles)

You merely do not allow yourself to view. (23-second pause)

You have much practice in....

ELAINA JOY: Going in and out of that.

ELIAS: Quite.

ELAINA JOY: In and out of that, in and out of that, over and over. How many times, how many times? (Sighing) I wish I could just get in there and hold it and stay put.

ELIAS: (Softly) And you accomplish this by noticing, by allowing yourself an awareness and through continuous noticing, and holding yourself within your attention in the now and not projecting pastly or futurely. These are your key elements that shall facilitate accomplishment.

ELAINA JOY: Well, in the moment, I’m blessed with wonderful energy around me, a lovely conversation with you, a peaceful setting to sit in, and a glorious blue-sky day!

ELIAS: And this is the now!

ELAINA JOY: Yes, this is the now. (Sighing)

ELIAS: And therefore, allow yourself the recognition and experience of the now – without worry, without guilt, and with the knowing of wonder!


ELIAS: Very good! (Chuckling)

Accept from myself this day an expression of energy that may blanket you, and be recognizing of this energy futurely. (27-second pause)

We shall be disengaging this day, and I offer to you, in great lovingness, encouragement and an anticipation of our continued participation together. To you affectionately, au revoir.

ELAINA JOY: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 2:53 PM.

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