Tuesday, September 28, 2004
ďA Cheating and Lying Soul MateĒ
ďFacilitating Healing in OthersĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Liana (Poncet).
(Eliasí arrival time is 16 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
LIANA: Good morning.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Welcome!
LIANA: Thanks. My first question is about my essence name. Itís not (inaudible). Itís something a little different, I think. Do you have that?
ELIAS: And what is your impression?
LIANA: I think it was Pointset.
ELIAS: Poncet (PAHN set).
LIANA: With my son, as I had understood it his alignment and essence family was Sumafi/Sumari?
LIANA: Thank you for that. My biggest issue that seems to be present at the moment for me is my relationship with my friend Steve. I had felt that we were soul mates; that was my impression. Is this correct?
LIANA: Can I ask why, if weíre soul mates, weíre having so many difficulties?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) First of all, let me express to you that the identification of soul mates does not always imply that you would be generating harmony and romantic relationships. It is an identification of another essence that you have generated many interactions with and have incorporated many, many manifestations together.
LIANA: In this particular instance of us meeting Ė I know that you can see all the problems and stuff Ė one of the main issues for me has been that he has seen other women and looked for other relationships while he was with me without telling me about it. This has been pretty much an insurmountable obstacle for me. Also I find that heís not willing to be forthcoming about it and tells me Iím delusional. Can you comment on this?
ELIAS: First of all, let me express an inquiry to you. What do you perceive would be different if the other individual was expressing to you his interactions with other individuals?
LIANA: I would feel that he trusted me instead of feared me, and then I could work with that. Thatís how I feel about it.
ELIAS: And do you actually express that? Whether the individual is expressing to you or not, the issue is not that he expresses or denies but that he is incorporating the action.
ELIAS: Therefore, regardless of whether he expresses willingly to you in admission that he is engaging this action or whether he denies this action, that in actuality matters little, for the action itself is what creates the issue.
LIANA: The action is that heís going to other people for... Iím not sure why heís actually going to other people. I guess I feel itís a lack of trust in me; thatís how Iím perceiving it. I guess I take that personally and discount myself.
ELIAS: Correct, for in association with your beliefs concerning monogamy, there are many influences of that belief that are expressed quite strongly in association with loyalty, with commitment, with appreciation, with trust, with attraction, with adequacy, with appearance, with performance...
LIANA: Performance in what way?
ELIAS: Performance in association with affection and sexual activity.
All of these influences are triggered in association with this belief of monogamy. Incorporating an expressed belief of monogamy is not bad, and it may be a strongly expressed belief. What is significant is that you allow yourself to recognize that belief and all of its influences and all that it triggers, recognize that this may be one of your truths being expressed very strongly, and moving into a genuine evaluation of that truth that you hold and allowing yourself to recognize that being one of your truths, it is one of YOUR guidelines. Therefore, being one of your guidelines, that is what you incorporate to determine your behavior and your expression, and it may not necessarily be applicable to another individual. That is not to say that the other individual is wrong or that you are right or vice versa.
LIANA: I understand. So if this is one of Steveís basic truths, that he does not have a belief in monogamy, then that would basically make us incompatible?
ELIAS: Not necessarily. It is dependent upon what YOU want and how you perceive the situation. If you are appreciating of yourself and if you are recognizing that you incorporate this truth of monogamy and that that is your guideline, and you recognize that you are expressing that Ė you are not incorporating more than one partner or more than one relationship in romantic capacity Ė therefore, you are holding to your preference and expressing that. If you choose to generate the perception that it matters not that the other individual does not incorporate that expression, you may generate a relationship with the other individual and actually generate a successful relationship. But that is dependent upon you and what you want, and what your preferences are and what you want to express.
It is not to say that if you are being accepting of the other individualís choices and you are continuing to generate a relationship with the individual that that is a better expression; not necessarily, for it is dependent upon your choices and your preferences. You may not necessarily want to be engaging a relationship with an individual that does not...
LIANA: I would say thatís probably not my preference.
ELIAS: I am understanding. In that, it is important for you to be recognizing and evaluating YOUR expressed beliefs and your preferences in association with your expressed beliefs, recognizing that your beliefs are not bad.
LIANA: Right. With this person, one thing that I feel hurt by is that he would not acknowledge to me that this dishonesty and also seeing other women could be destructive to the relationship. I find that Ė I know it sounds pretty human Ė but very hurtful that he would say to me that I was delusional, and that he would undertake this behavior without realizing that it could drive the relationship away. Can you explain that to me?
ELIAS: I am understanding, for this taps into another of your truths concerning honesty and truthfulness. Once again, this is your guideline in association with your preferences and your choices and your behavior, and it is not necessarily applicable to another individual. But I am understanding that you generate this feeling of hurtfulness, for it has triggered that response of your truth.
Now; this feeling of hurtfulness is a signal, and there is a communication associated with that. What you are generating is the signal to move your attention to the emotional communication. What you are expressing to yourself in that emotional communication is that you are being denied your freedom to create what you want, for creating what you want is dependent upon the choice of another individual. That is what is being triggered and that is what your emotional communication is expressing to you, and in that, allowing you to evaluate what you are denying yourself and what you are perceiving that you cannot express of yourself. Which, in this scenario, if the other individual is generating dishonesty with you, that triggers your truth concerning honesty, and that also triggers a denial of yourself, for you deny yourself your expression of appreciation, for it is an automatic response. If another individual is not honest with you, that dictates an automatic response in which you subsequently cannot appreciate the other individual. Therefore, you deny your own freedom of your own expression.
LIANA: Exactly, exactly. I canít appreciate him. But he must know that that would be a result, so why would he do that behavior?
ELIAS: Not necessarily. That is an assumption, for that assumption is based upon your perception and your truths. Therefore, it is based upon your guidelines, that were you to be not honest with another individual, you would recognize that that generates a dangerous potential.
LIANA: And he does not recognize that?
ELIAS: Not necessarily.
LIANA: Oh, for heavenís sake!
ELIAS: This, my friend, is a very commonly expressed snare with many, many, many individuals. You automatically perceive that another individual should or will perceive in the same manner as yourself, and that is not necessarily the situation.
LIANA: This is a very common social program in our culture, so...
LIANA: ...Iím surprised that he doesnít have the same perception. Would this be as a result of his choice or his life experiences, or did he just never pick this up out of our culture?
ELIAS: It is not that it is unknown; it is a choice. It is not that the individual is unaware that other individuals incorporate a strong alignment with monogamy; it is a choice. As strongly as you express your choices and your truths, the other individual does likewise.
LIANA: Right, so he feels that in order to maintain his freedom, he has to lie. I know that sounds terrible, but...
ELIAS: I am understanding what you are expressing. In a manner of speaking, yes, for this generates an avoidance of his own discounting and allows him to justify his choices.
LIANA: He does not feel that heís worthy of a monogamous relationship?
ELIAS: That may be somewhat of a factor, but not entirely.
LIANA: What would you see it as?
ELIAS: More so of a fear of genuine exposure and genuine intimacy.
LIANA: Well, this is what I really want from him, and I somehow feel that weíve come together (sighs) to create this. I know that there are different probabilities. Iím at a choice-point about which way to go, and Iím really torn.
ELIAS: I am understanding. This is the reason that it is important and significant for you to actually evaluate what YOU want Ė not what you want from the other individual, but what you want to express and what your preferences are without compromising and without acquiescing, but recognizing what is important to you, what your preferences are, what do you want, and whether you will allow yourself to express what you want if you are continuing to generate the relationship with this individual. THAT is a significant question, for you may express to yourself that you want to continue to generate a relationship with this individual, for you incorporate feelings.
LIANA: I have a strong, strong feeling of love.
ELIAS: Now; let me inquire of you...
LIANA: I even admire his courage in defying social customs to seek his own truth, although I recognize itís not compatible with my guidelines. So I feel there is love there, because I do recognize the difference and yet I appreciate Ė and maybe Iím imagining it Ė but I still appreciate his own courage to his own truth, although itís different than mine.
ELIAS: Very well. I am understanding. In this, you may genuinely incorporate love in association with another individual, and you may allow yourself to continue to express that, and you may also choose not to be incorporating a particular type of relationship with the individual. You may continue to generate a relationship, but you may choose to be incorporating a different type of relationship with the individual in association with your preferences and allowing yourself your freedom to express your preferences.
Now; as I have expressed previously with you, you do incorporate the ability to generate a romantic relationship with the individual, knowing the differences and accepting the differences, but that would necessitate a considerable alteration of your perception.
LIANA: And I also would be afraid of getting a disease.
ELIAS: Which is another aspect.
LIANA: Right. I basically feel like Iím not having a big desire to change my perceptions in this area.
ELIAS: Which is quite acceptable. That, in actuality, is moving more in tune, so to speak, with your individual beliefs rather than forcing energy in opposition to them and generating trauma.
LIANA: Exactly. Iím puzzled as to why I would meet a soul mate where Iíve had such intense feelings of euphoria and (emotionally) then not be able to complete the relationship.
ELIAS: Ah, but this has been quite purposeful, for it has offered you tremendous information, and perhaps, had you drawn another individual to you that was not a soul mate, you would not necessarily have paid attention as clearly as you have in the intensity of this relationship.
In that intensity, it has offered you considerable information concerning your truths, your preferences, your guidelines, differences, and your capacity to be accepting of differences but continuing to express your preferences. It has allowed you to view your ability Ė although you have not yet clearly acknowledged that ability to yourself Ė but it is becoming clearer that you do actually incorporate the ability to appreciate difference and recognize difference and accept difference but also continue to express your preferences, and that is tremendously significant.
LIANA: Thatís true love, correct?
LIANA: What Iím getting from this so far is that this individual and I will not be able to be in a marriage relationship because of our differences. I really, really want to be in a soul mate relationship in a marriage and in a united partnership, especially now that Iíve experienced what itís like to be with a soul mate. I want to know how I can create this.
ELIAS: How you may create that, as you do incorporate many soul mates, is in paying attention to you genuinely, genuinely allowing yourself to express that type of appreciation of yourself and a gentleness with yourself, expressing a comfort with your guidelines and your preferences, and allowing yourself the freedom to be expressing that. You shall generate an energy outwardly that shall attract that type of energy.
LIANA: You mean a soul mate in partnership?
LIANA: With Steve, I just wanted to tie up a little bit of stuff here. Does he feel that same soul mate feeling of strong connection with me? (Pause)
ELIAS: He does incorporate a perception of strong connection but not necessarily an identification of soul mate.
LIANA: But he does feel the strong connection?
LIANA: I would like to maintain a friendship with him, even though from what Iím understanding he is not choosing at this point to be exposing himself and be genuinely intimate with another person. How can we go about reconnecting and just be friends?
ELIAS: That is dependent upon you and whether you allow yourself the freedom to express that.
LIANA: To him?
ELIAS: Not necessarily merely in expressing to the other individual that you wish to be generating a friendship, but actually doing.
LIANA: What do you mean?
ELIAS: What do you do with a friend?
LIANA: I guess what Iím saying in really concrete terms is Iím afraid to just call him up and say, ďLetís just start over as friends.Ē Are you saying that this would be successful?
ELIAS: What I am expressing to you is not necessarily to be expressing in that manner but incorporate the action of a friend.
LIANA: So just call him up and say, ďLetís go to lunch, letís go to dinner, letís go to a movieĒ?
LIANA: Iím sure heís very angry at me at this point, because I did actually become intimate and expose him in a way that... Well, I suppose he did choose it, but it still caused trauma for him. How can I reconnect while all that exists?
ELIAS: By expressing your appreciation.
LIANA: Even if I called today and express my appreciation, that would be sufficient?
ELIAS: If you are not generating an expectation. If you are genuinely expressing appreciation, that generates a very different energy. If you are incorporating the interaction and you are generating an expectation, that shall create a very different outcome.
LIANA: I guess I would expect that he would... (Sighs)
ELIAS: This is the point. This is what I am explaining to you, that it does not concern the other individual or what their expression or choice is. It is a matter of what YOU want to be generating and expressing of yourself, not what you expect to receive from the other individual, but a genuine offering of your own expression in your own freedom without the incorporation of expectation. Once you generate the expectation, that projects an energy of threat. If you are genuinely expressing appreciation and acceptance and incorporating the action of a friend, that generates a very different type of energy.
LIANA: I would like to, for example, take him out to lunch today; however, I donít want to drive all the way down to where he works and have him just tell me to go away. Would that be an expectation, would you say?
LIANA: It would be an expectation?
ELIAS: Yes. If you are incorporating driving to his location with the intention of requesting his participation in joining you for lunch but not incorporating any expectation of the response and being accepting if the response is ďno,Ē it is much more likely that the response will not be ďno,Ē for you are not projecting an expectation, and therefore, there is no threat.
LIANA: This is a very good learning experience for how to maintain a loving connection with a person whoís got very different guidelines than I do. I will acknowledge that. (Elias laughs) Iím not laughing, but Iíll acknowledge it.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well! Pay attention to your communications. Pay attention to your signals, your twinges in which you hesitate or...
LIANA: What do you mean ďwhen I hesitateĒ?
ELIAS: You shall know. In moments in which you are denying your freedom, you shall experience a twinge and a hesitation and a restriction of expressing yourself.
Pay attention to your emotional communications, for they are identifying to you what you are doing, what automatic responses you are incorporating and what beliefs are influencing of you in the moment. This is significant, for as you allow yourself more and more to pay attention to these communications, you become more and more familiar with yourself, and you offer yourself a much clearer direction in relation to your choices.
LIANA: As far as the belief system of monogamy, that is the belief system Iím most comfortable with. Yet from various thoughts Iíve had, and also from reading transcripts, Iím beginning to question whether that is really a workable or accurate belief system. I know thereís no such thing really as an accurate belief system, but is it closer to the truth of relationship? It seems like...
ELIAS: It is YOUR truth of relationships, and that is acceptable. There are many other individuals that express that same truth.
LIANA: It just seems that monogamy as a lifestyle seems to be falling by the wayside, so to speak.
ELIAS: Not necessarily. It is not an expression of being more or less enlightened if you are incorporating the expressed belief of monogamy or not. They are merely choices and preferences. Preferences are preferred beliefs, and...
LIANA: It seems that a person who is monogamous would be more intensely intimate with another person.
ELIAS: Not necessarily. But it is dependent upon the individual.
LIANA: With myself?
LIANA: Thatís what it felt like to me.
LIANA: But with my friend Steve, this is not necessarily true? Is he more intimate when he has many...?
ELIAS: Not necessarily, no.
LIANA: He just wishes not to be intimate?
ELIAS: It is not necessarily a wish. As I have expressed, it is a fear.
LIANA: Very well. I wanted to know if there is any question that I could ask of you which would have information that he would want, even though I havenít technically asked him?
ELIAS: That would be his choice.
LIANA: That I ask him first?
ELIAS: Not necessarily. If the individual wishes to incorporate a question of myself, that is available to him and that would be his choice.
LIANA: He told me a dream that he had, and there was something about him telling me this dream that just struck me so that I wrote it down and thought of asking you. Would it be appropriate to bring this out at this time?
ELIAS: It is your choice.
LIANA: He had a dream that he introduced himself to the new boss, saying, ďItíll be nice working with you,Ē and then found that it was the wrong applicant and was not really going to be his boss. What was the meaning of that dream?
ELIAS: And what is your impression?
LIANA: I felt that he was perhaps going to have a change of perception about something.
ELIAS: Partially. It also incorporates imagery concerning expectations.
LIANA: What do you mean?
ELIAS: Generating expectations concerning another individual, and in the expression of those expectations, not necessarily creating what he wants.
LIANA: So he is generating an expectation of me? Can you explain this more directly?
ELIAS: The dream was not necessarily associated with you. It is associated generally with other individuals, of which you are one, but it is not exclusively associated with you. It is imagery that he has generated to himself concerning expressing expectations and what occurs in generating expectations. Generally speaking, in expressing expectations in relation to other individuals, you generate disappointment, for, generally speaking, many times you generate what you do not want.
LIANA: Did this have to do with our relationship getting rocky?
LIANA: Why did he tell me this dream?
ELIAS: He expressed the dream to you and you expressed the dream to me to offer you information, also, concerning expectations. There are no accidents. (Laughs)
LIANA: So in other words, weíre both generating expectations, which creates disappointment?
LIANA: That was very, very helpful. Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
LIANA: I am working to shift my perceptions about my abilities, and Iíve had some feelings about perception and the nature of perception. The way it feels to me is that itís a spotlight, that whatever I turn it on appears. Is this correct?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.
LIANA: Iím getting the feeling of the spotlight and what it feels like to be operating the spotlight. I would describe it as way back behind my head, above my head, thereís a spotlight, and what it feels like is to be moving the spotlight from place to place or perception to perception. I donít feel like I quite know what Iím doing yet.
ELIAS: (Laughs) But you are exploring!
LIANA: Yes. How can I be better...? For example, I would like to choose to perceive that Iím very successful in doing these forms of healing that Iíve been working with. How could I be more precise in changing my perception to that direction using this feeling that I have?
ELIAS: Recognizing that what you are actually doing is generating a cooperation with other individuals. You are not manipulating the energy of other individuals; you are generating a cooperation in supportiveness of the other individuals. They are receiving your energy and manipulating that in association with their own energy and therefore generating their own healing.
LIANA: I feel more of a draw to the Yuen Method because itís very simple and elegant, although the other one is very interesting in terms of more of a mental construct in some ways. Do I need to choose one of these?
LIANA: I can combine them?
ELIAS: Yes, and also incorporate your own intuition and your own empathic sense. Allow yourself to merge with other individuals and therefore more clearly identify what they are manifesting.
LIANA: I see. I donít suppose thereís any kind of timeframe to this, right? I have a belief that a certain amount of time and practice has to go by, and I feel that Iím somehow stopping myself from just doing it. Iím just not perceiving that Iím doing it. Can you help me out here?
ELIAS: Allow yourself to actually incorporate the actions. In this, rather than waiting for a future event, pay attention to what you are doing now.
LIANA: You mean, stalling? Iím not doing it because Iím discounting my abilities?
LIANA: Well, you know, Iím not following the prescribed methods.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Which matters not! You may generate your own method.
LIANA: I feel like thatís whatís going to happen.
ELIAS: And that may be as successful or more successful than another individualís method.
LIANA: I think that might be right, because I just feel these methods in some ways just make everything so complicated. Really, it just seems so complicated that I canít keep it in my mind. In fact, I feel thatís why I lost the workbook, because a part of me knows I donít need all that complexity...
LIANA: ...and that the mere intention and the mere perception would be enough.
LIANA: Through my ability to perceive the individual as healed, that is the energy that Iím lending.
ELIAS: Correct, and therefore generating a supportiveness, but recognizing that you are supporting and you are cooperating, and it is the choice of the other individual in how they shall receive and manipulate that energy.
LIANA: Right. I feel like I need some validation in this area to build up my confidence.
ELIAS: You do incorporate the ability to be generating this action. It is merely a matter of doing. Allow yourself to incorporate your empathic sense and generate that mergence, which you may experiment with any manifestation to offer yourself the experience and the evidence of your ability. You may be generating your empathic sense with a creature or with a plant.
LIANA: I know this already. In fact, thereís so much information all around me I get overwhelmed. (Elias laughs) This is sort of a problem for me.
ELIAS: FOCUS. Allow yourself to focus in whatever particular direction you want in one moment. Hold your attention in the now and focus in a direction. This is the reason that many individuals incorporate focal points, for it allows them to focus their attention in one direction with a specific intention.
LIANA: A focal point would be what?
ELIAS: It may be any expression within your reality. It may be an object; it may be a particular thought process...
LIANA: It would be the things called methods? These methods are just simply focal points?
LIANA: Oh, I see. So if I come up with a focal point that fits me, that would be helpful?
ELIAS: Correct. Many individuals incorporate objects as focal points to allow them to focus their direction and...
LIANA: What sort of an object would be...? Iím not just trying to take the easy path here, but it would help to have some guidance as to what sort of object I would use.
ELIAS: Whatever you prefer. Some individuals incorporate tarot cards. Those are a focal point. Some individuals incorporate crystals. Those are focal points. Some individuals may incorporate a rock.
LIANA: I was thinking about a rock. (Elias chuckles) I have all these rocks in my room for some reason. Iíve never heard of anyone doing a rock as a focal point, but I really feel attracted to rocks for some reason.
ELIAS: (Laughs) It is merely an expression that allows you to focus your energy and to focus your attention in a particular direction with a particular intention. The concentration upon an object, for many individuals, is an easy method and a simple method that allows them to focus attention. Generally speaking, whatever the focal point is would be some manifestation that is pleasing to the individual.
LIANA: Thereís a couple of things Iíve been wanting to practice physically, I think for my own validation, like, for example, some changes in my body appearance, and Iím feeling blocked in this. Iím feeling like a self-doubt about my ability to experience my own abilities.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) I am understanding.
LIANA: What can I do about that situation?
ELIAS: Experiment, and in your experimentation incorporate your focal point. Recognize that you create, genuinely, all of your reality and that you can create it in whatever manner you want.
LIANA: How does using the focal point assist me with this? Letís say Iím with my rock, and Iím like, ďOkay, rock, I want these changes in my physical appearance.Ē Then what?
ELIAS: Acknowledge yourself and allow yourself to appreciate yourself. Generate the experimentation as a game, rather than incorporating such seriousness.
LIANA: As soon as I turned it into a proof thing, it became very tense.
ELIAS: Correct. Rather, incorporate playing a game with yourself and generating a fun energy, and you may be generating more of a successfulness.
LIANA: I see. For example, like bending a spoon.
ELIAS: Yes. And what is the purpose of bending a spoon? Merely to bend a spoon and to be incorporating an entertaining and amusing action, which is fun. It incorporates no actual purpose, but it is an entertaining, fun action.
LIANA: And the purpose would be the expectation?
ELIAS: The purpose is to be generating fun.
LIANA: In other words, our life is supposed to be generating fun. Not ďsupposed to be,Ē but...
LIANA: ...sort of the intention. So that feeling of bending the spoon, if I carry that to more things then Iíll have better results?
LIANA: I wanted to ask you a couple of other things here. I noticed that Iíve had some tingling in my throat, and Iím wondering if this means that Iím coming into an exciting period of my life.
ELIAS: Change, yes.
LIANA: Is that in relation to this man that I met?
ELIAS: And other directions.
LIANA: Are you able to tell me what those are?
ELIAS: And shall you not be investigating yourself?
LIANA: I knew youíd say that! (Elias laughs) Is this man Iíve met a soul mate also?
LIANA: I kind of felt like that might be.
Also, I feel that with my relationship with my friend Steve there are some negative mutual focuses and manifestations which are impacting our relationship now. Would this be accurate?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. Yes, you do incorporate adversarial relationships in other focuses. They are not causing conflict in this relationship, but there are influences, for you draw that energy to you.
LIANA: Right, because of the nature of...
LIANA: ...what weíre doing. What I wanted to do was if I could neutralize those negative energies, so to speak, then there would be less conflict in the present focus?
ELIAS: Which that shall automatically occur if you are altering your direction. If you alter the energy that you are expressing, you shall automatically draw to you energy from other focuses that are more supportive of the type of energy that you are expressing.
LIANA: I have one more question about Steve, and I know weíre at the end of our time. I really have such a strong desire to be in an intimate relationship with him. Is there anything you can offer me on this?
ELIAS: Remember that there are many different expressions of intimacy; there is not merely one. Hold your attention upon YOU, and do not snare yourself in the expectations of him or what you expect him to be generating in return for what you generate.
LIANA: Donít snare myself with his expectations of me or...?
ELIAS: Or your expectations of his responsiveness.
LIANA: I really appreciate all of your help. If you ever feel like you want to send me any extra energy to get me over a little hump, I would love it!
ELIAS: Ha ha! Very well! Done! (Laughs)
LIANA: Yay! Thanks a lot!
ELIAS: I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be offering you my energy in supportiveness and encouragement.
LIANA: Thank you very much.
ELIAS: As always, I offer my affection and my appreciation to you. In great fondness and friendship, my friend, au revoir.
LIANA: Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 1 hour, 7 minutes.)
© 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.