the Elias forum: Explore the transcript archive.










Tuesday, July 22, 2003

<  Session 1404 (Private)  >

“The Truth of Control”


Participants: Mary (Michael) and Rob (Mendoe).

Elias arrives at (actual time not available). (Arrival time is 29 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

ROB: Greetings, Elias.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) And to you, also.

ROB: Am I emotionally focused? (Pause)

ELIAS: Political.

ROB: I’d like to know how long I’ve been in transition. My impression is that various events make me think I may have been in transition as long as 40 years.

ELIAS: Not quite, but an extended time framework – approximately slightly more than 30.

ROB: I have some pains in my head, not headaches but fleeting pains. Are these connected with transition?

ELIAS: Somewhat, but also more so in association with widening awareness and generating new neuro pathways to be assimilating more information.

ROB: So I can hope that these will go away in time?


ROB: Some time ago, I became aware while sleeping I was in the presence of a woman called Sister Cecilia. She is a nun who I knew for some years, who has physically disengaged. As I was in her presence, it seemed to me that in some sense we fell into each other. This was not a fantasy, I should explain for the benefit of others, but it was a delightfully sensual and erotic sensation of interpenetration. I’m wondering if this was the mergence of our essences.

ELIAS: Yes, and your imagery associated with it.

ROB: I have the impression, perhaps, that as a very small one, I am pulled in this experience with those around me. Is that correct? (Pause)

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.

ROB: So there is an early period in which I have no sense of separation from the others?

ELIAS: Correct.

ROB: If I’m understanding this correctly, then, the sort of erotic aspect, this interpenetration, is only possible as an experience because I am separated from the others in my objective experience now. (Pause)

ELIAS: Clarify.

ROB: It seems to me that as a very small one I am not separated, so I am interfused with the other essences...

ELIAS: Correct.

ROB: ...and therefore there is not this quality of penetrating.

ELIAS: Correct.

ROB: It is a state of being.

ELIAS: Correct. And as you move through your focus and you identify and express more strongly your beliefs and this element of separation, you generate this type of imagery as your symbolization, so to speak, of that interconnectedness. Most individuals within your physical reality incorporate this type of imagery as the most intimate expression in physical focus, in which seemingly there is an expression of a lack of separation.

A genuine expression of a lack of separation is expressed quite beyond that type of physical expression, but that is a very common symbolization in imagery for that expression of a lack of separation.

In this, many individuals may generate experiences or projections or dream imagery incorporating that type of symbolization in different capacities, which may at times be disconcerting to them in association with their beliefs as they are expressed objectively. They may become confused, for their beliefs objectively may express that their imagery is unacceptable. But in actuality, it incorporates a simplistic meaning, that it is merely imagery that individuals present to themselves in association with that recognition of the lack of separation, and a mergence between one essence and another or between an essence and all of their reality, all of their imagery, all of their environment and all other essences.

ROB: Immediately after, if I can use that term in this experience, I saw very clearly a man in priestly vestments, and the name Jake came to mind. Now purely on the basis that he didn’t look like me, I wonder if he is another focus of Sister Cecilia’s. (Pause)

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.

ROB: Is there a reason for him appearing, rather than any other focus?

ELIAS: A familiarity, a presentment of two genders within a similar expression to offer a familiarity to you in an acceptability. In a manner of speaking, a presentment of the insignificance of gender in association with mergence and interconnectedness.

ROB: I’m having difficulty kind of holding my attention at the moment. Could you comment on that?

ELIAS: I may express to you, as I have expressed recently, this phenomenon is engaging an alteration. It has moved into a type of turning point in which the energy that is being allowed and being expressed through Michael in association with the phenomenon, as I project energy outwardly to all of you and to each of you individually, has increased.

Therefore, in your terms, you may experience it stronger. In that, it may be initially somewhat distracting, for it is incorporating somewhat of an unfamiliar quality. This is a temporary expression. There are some elements of this exchange that Michael is acclimating to also, but other individuals may be experiencing a situation in which they may find themselves acclimating in different manners also.

ROB: I feel as if I’m talking to Michael rather than you, in an uncanny way. Is that an aspect of this?

ELIAS: Michael has been generating a tremendous concentration upon this information, and in association with this phenomenon, offering himself more of an assimilation of the intricacies of the phenomenon, but more so, more of an understanding of this information to be enacting his role in association with this phenomenon, which is to be the focal point, an example, so to speak, of the practical application of this information and these concepts.

Therefore, in this, there appears to many individuals more of a similarity than there has been expressed previously. Which, in actuality, is quite beneficial, for this offers Michael the opportunity to be exchanging and sharing information objectively with individuals such as yourself, and any other individual that he is interacting with within this forum, with a greater capacity of understanding objectively in association to these concepts, which has been quite beneficial as we move more specifically into the actions of these concepts rather than merely intellectual discussion of them.

But in this, some individuals that have been participating within this forum for an extended time framework may be noticing of the different qualities that Michael is expressing now as in opposition to previous time frameworks in which he was not quite trusting of his abilities yet.

ROB: I understand. Thank you. You have been encouraging us to think about truths lately...

ELIAS: Quite.

ROB: ...absolute truths.

ELIAS: Quite.

ROB: I’m not sure if I am understanding you entirely at the moment, but my understanding is that you are encouraging us individually about this.


ROB: It seemed to me, thinking about it, that for myself perhaps the most influencing area is that I must be in control. Would you comment on that?

ELIAS: And what is your assessment and your impression as to what you are identifying? What do you view as the influences of this belief that has become an absolute and therefore has become one of your truths?

ROB: I have been thinking of these things as icebergs in the water, so that I am in my little speedboat and it’s good to know that icebergs exist. (Elias nods) It’s unwise to pretend that icebergs don’t exist. But it has seemed to me, in thinking about this, that in this area I have tended to point my speedboat AT the icebergs, holding my attention on the icebergs rather than enjoying going around in the sea and avoiding them. For instance...

ELIAS: Adequate analogy, for the icebergs are quite solid, are they not?

ROB: Yes, quite hypnotizing. Well, we have discussed previously the rigidity in which I hold my own expression. So in this area, “I must control myself” would be one. “I must control others in their expressions” would be another. I’ve been examining for various reasons recently my very small self, and insofar as I’ve entered into that experience, I am out of control. I don’t mean that I’m running wild...

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ROB: I can see that I have present experiences, so to speak, in which I am not controlling.

ELIAS: Now; recognize that each belief system that you generate an absoluteness with, each belief that you solidify in absoluteness and move into a truth incorporates some aspects, some influences and some expressions of which are in association with your preferences. Therefore, there are some expressions of the belief that may be limiting, but there are also some that you view to be beneficial. All of your experiences are beneficial, but within your assessment you may view some aspects or some expressions of the belief to be not beneficial, for they are disdainful to you, or they are limiting. But those very same beliefs also incorporate some aspect that you view to be beneficial.

Now; in association with control, this may be one of your truths which you have set in an absoluteness.

Now; in association with other individuals or somewhat, not always, but somewhat in association with your environment, situations and circumstances, there may be some limiting aspects of this truth. But there are also aspects of it or expressions of it that you prefer in association with yourself in presenting certain behaviors and certain methods of movement – planning, moving in a specific direction, being aware of what your goal is, so to speak, and incorporating some type of organization within your movements in your focus. Those aspects of the belief offer you an expression of comfort. They are familiar, and they are not conflicting within you.

The significance in all of this is to recognize that any belief, whether it is has become a truth or not, is not your enemy, and it is not the belief itself which you are necessarily addressing to but how you manipulate energy in association with it, knowing that it is an expressed belief, it is not being eliminated, and it is not bad. Therefore, as you evaluate each of these expressed beliefs that have become a truth, you move your attention to its influences and recognize that some influences you prefer. Therefore, you choose to continue to move your energy in conjunction with those expressions of it. But also recognizing, as you evaluate all of its influences, that there are other influences that are quite limiting.

In association with other individuals, you do not create their reality. You create YOUR reality, and therefore YOU incorporate choice in association with the interactions of other individuals and their choices. You may choose how to manipulate that energy or even reconfigure that energy to be expressed in association with your preferences and what you want, but you do not control their reality. You do not create their choices or their behaviors.

Therefore, if you are expressing an energy associated with control in relation to other individuals, this becomes a conflict and also a disappointment. For in projecting your attention to other individuals in association with control and your wish to be controlling specific situations or circumstances or expressions in relation to other individuals, you also express expectations. As you express expectations, you generate tremendous potential for disappointment, for you are attempting to create what you may not create.

Now; this may be somewhat tricky, for you do create the imagery of the other individual, and within that, you are free to create whatever you choose. But in association with the actual energy that the other individual projects to you, you do not choose the energy that they express. That is THEIR choice.

Now; it is your choice how you receive it. This may be what you term to be the positive aspect of this truth of control, for you incorporate the choice of how you receive the energy from another individual, or even your environment, and how you configure that energy and thusly how you respond to it.

Offer an example and we shall explore it, in which you view that this truth of control is limiting to you or you are expressing conflict or anxiety in association with it.

ROB: There is an individual called Pamela who I’ve known, I think, for some 35 years. She is an individual who I know produces quite marked responses in others very often. However, I’m looking at this now in relation to my own experience. After all this time, if I am with her even for a short while, it is very common for me to experience tremendous conflict with her. I don’t mean argument, but I experience that she is trying to maneuver me, even physically maneuver me, and I suppose if I’m honest I kick against that because it is I who want to maneuver her.

ELIAS: Now; what is significant is that you pay attention to yourself in these moments. In the moments in which you are engaging interaction with this individual and you experience that projection of energy, without speculation in philosophy, in the actual moment, in the actual experience, what do YOU want? (22-second pause)

ROB: I find that very difficult to answer because I’m wanting something which in a sense I feel that I never am able to allow.

ELIAS: Which is...?

ROB: What I’m trying to allow within myself is for two energy fields to flow through each other without any kind of stickiness.

ELIAS: I am quite understanding. Interesting answer, and I am acknowledging of you of that answer. For this is an expression and an evidence of your movement into more of a familiarity with yourself in genuineness, and also a widening of awareness. The automatic response, which you have moved beyond as evidenced in that answer, would be “I want the other individual to stop.” But your answer has moved beyond that. There is a recognition of yourself in your participation, and there is an expression evidenced that you are attempting to identify genuinely what it is that you want in that moment.

Now; in acknowledgment of your response that you want the energies to intermingle and flow freely, how do YOU accomplish generating that, regardless of the other individual? For remember, you are manipulating your reality. You are receiving the energy, and it is your choice how you manipulate that energy and how you configure it. Which, once again, is the expression of what you would term to be the positive aspect of your truth of control. Therefore, what do you engage to accomplish that action that you want to occur? (Pause)

ROB: I’m not sure if this is relevant, but it comes to mind so I will say it. Investigating myself as a small one, what has most impressed me, I think, is the absence of words or thoughts or expectations or judgments. I am sitting in my little bath and in a moment I conceive a wish for a toy in my little bath. In an imperceptible moment, I review a myriad of possible toys, and within that moment before my eyes appears a hand bearing a little yellow duck. I think I’m trying to recover that cooperative action, which is so effortless really, not conflicting.

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; move to your scenario with your friend, and how do you accomplish generating what you want?

Let me express to you also an identification in validation of what you have expressed in relation to your scenario as a small one. That IS an effortless action, and the reason that it is effortless is that you are not forcing energy. You are allowing yourself to listen to your communication, you generate a translation in thought. Therefore, you express the thought “I want the toy.” There is not much evaluation that occurs. There is an allowance for automatic configurations of energy, and it is unnecessary to analyze HOW you are configuring the energy. You merely allow yourself to DO.

In similar manner, you accomplish that in this type of scenario. Therefore, what shall be the key that shall allow you to reconfigure the energy without analyzation and without much thought, for thought is merely translating what you are doing? What is the expression that shall facilitate accomplishing what you want in that scenario? (Pause)

ROB: I suppose what comes to mind is acceptance of energy.

ELIAS: That is a prerequisite, but beyond the acceptance. For let me clarify, you may be accepting and that may not necessarily generate what you want, for it is dependent upon how you are expressing that acceptance. You may be accepting of yourself in the position and the energy that you are expressing, and you may also be accepting of the other individual in the position and the energy that they are expressing, but beyond that you also incorporate a want which is not necessarily being expressed in that moment, and you have identified what the want is.

Now; how do you accomplish that? (20-second pause) Appreciation.

You already incorporate the knowing in familiarity. As you express a genuine appreciation, as you move your attention from what is occurring in the interaction which is beginning to generate the conflict, you move your attention to yourself – not to the exclusion of your interaction or the other individual, but moving your attention to what you want.

You have identified you do not wish to disengage the interaction; you wish to alter the interaction in association with what you want. You want to be interconnected, to be experiencing a lack of conflict in that intertwining with the other individual, to experience that mergence.

The manner in which you accomplish this is to move your attention to appreciation, the appreciation of yourself and of the other individual, in genuineness. Not necessarily appreciation of what the other individual is expressing in that moment, for were you to be appreciating of that objectively, automatically, in automatic responses, you would be in agreement for sameness generates validation. And not that you would be appreciating of the behavior or the expression of the other individual, for you quite clearly acknowledge that you are not, for you wish to alter it. You are generating conflict within yourself, and you are aware of that also.

Therefore, you move your attention to some aspect of yourself and of the other individual, incorporating the scenario at hand, and allow yourself to discover some element that you may genuinely appreciate in that moment, and express it. That reconfigures the energy. It moves your attention, it alters your perception, and it alters your reality, for your perception has been altered. In that action, it reconfigures the energy of the other individual and therefore the energy that you express outwardly in response is different, which the other individual receives, and they shall alter their expression also.

ROB: Perhaps I should see if I am understanding here. I am being very dense about this. (Laughs)

ELIAS: (Laughs) Do not be discounting of yourself!

ROB: If I may think of a common example with Pamela, in fairness I think almost always when she is maneuvering other persons, she is in fact wishing the other to share in something she is enjoying. My sort of instant response is to kind of back away and actually refuse to enjoy what she is enjoying, which shall we say might be a view of some trees, which I would genuinely find enjoyable.

So are you saying within the appreciation, shall we say she draws me towards her, wanting to share an appreciation of a view, and I allow myself to in fact go with what I want to do, which is to share in her appreciation, is that what you’re meaning?

ELIAS: If that is what you want. What you are incorporating – and this is the point – is how YOU are receiving the energy and how you are configuring that, which you have expressed a fine example of.

In this, you are repelling the energy that is being projected to you. For you are receiving that energy – or not quite receiving, that may be an inaccurate term – you are allowing that energy to approach, but you are also holding it at bay and not genuinely receiving it. For prior to your reception of it, you are responding in rejection, for you are perceiving it as a command.

ROB: I understand.

ELIAS: You are perceiving this as the other individual not merely sharing, but commanding you to experience in like manner. Therefore, prior to your reception, you block and you do not allow yourself to genuinely receive OR reconfigure.

Now; in this, let me express to you, to receive, there is a prerequisite of exposing. This is what you may term to be the negative element of your truth of control. For in this truth, you do not allow yourself to expose – not entirely, but generally speaking – and if you do not expose, you do not receive. For reception requires an openness; to receive, you must allow an opening. Energy may be projected towards you, to you, but if you are not generating that exposure, you create a shield. Therefore, there is no genuine penetration. Your energy field becomes your shield, rather than your window.

Now; this is a matter of perception, but perception is influenced by your beliefs. Therefore, if you are perceiving that the other individual is commanding you to be experiencing in like kind, although intellectually you may recognize it as an invitation, as a sharing and a participation, it matters not. For this also is an aspect of this turning point, in which addressing to this particular belief system individuals may begin to recognize and actually engage the action of moving these concepts from an intellectual understanding into a practical doing. It is a movement of perception.

Individuals naturally repel that expectation. You all incorporate this action. For you incorporate an intrinsic element of yourselves, knowing that you do direct yourselves or knowing that that is a natural movement, and recognizing that many times you are not directing yourselves, you are allowing other individuals to dictate your choices. The more information that you incorporate, the more you recognize this intellectually.

What becomes your snare is that objectively you begin to react rather than evaluate. Therefore, if another individual is sharing with you experiences or information, at times even if you are in agreement with them, you may repel, for you are generating challenge in attempting to genuinely be directing of yourselves. But this is an unfamiliar action, and therefore you move to extremes and you confuse yourselves, and you move in black and white – “I must be directing of myself continuously. Therefore, no other individual may suggest or express to myself any direction of what I shall do. I shall choose. This individual is expressing an invitation to myself to be appreciating of a landscape – no! I refuse, and I am expressing conflict within myself. I shall direct myself. If I wish to be appreciating the landscape, I shall. But it shall be MY choice.” (Rob laughs)

This is the rebellion that is raging, rather than the evaluation and the recognition of how the energy is being expressed by the other individual in genuineness. At times, another individual may be expressing in genuineness an attempt to be directing of you and an expression of expectation and commanding. But at times, they may not be expressing that type of energy.

Now you move into the action of evaluating, being aware of yourself, of what you want, of what your movement is and how you are receiving the energy, and allowing yourself to evaluate what is the genuine intention of this projection of energy. Which I am NOT suggesting to you that you incorporate tremendous time frameworks in analyzation of every interaction that you encounter with other individuals – “Is this individual being genuine? Shall I trust this expression? Is this individual attempting to manipulate myself? Are they attempting to command me? Are they attempting to direct me? Are they attempting to infringe upon my choices?” No, I am not expressing that you exhaust yourself with such acrobatics.

I AM expressing to you that you be aware of your own energy. This is your indicator. If you are reacting and if you are offering yourself these twinges, so to speak, that trigger an onset of conflict or irritation or anxiety, these are your indicators that you are generating some expression within yourself, and you may evaluate what you are responding to within yourself, which also many times offers you a clearer view of the energy that you are receiving from the other individual. Regardless of their tone, regardless of how they may be presenting objectively their expression, the energy shall be the most accurate, and you shall view that much more clearly if you are aware of what YOU are generating.

Your assessment initially was to express to myself, “This individual attempts to control the situation or myself, and I recognize that actually this a reflection and I wish to be controlling of her.” That is a generalization. It is correct in a general manner, but now move into more specifics in your identification. You have offered an umbrella, so to speak, a generalization.

Yes, generally speaking, in the scenario, you wish to be expressing what the other individual is expressing, and in some manners you are. Therefore, you have identified the general reflection. But more specifically what is occurring? You are recognizing the energy that is being projected. You are not yet paying attention to what YOU are doing and how you are shielding or rebelling, what the influence of that control is, what the influence of that belief is that you shield automatically. And you rebel and you project.

Regardless of whether you incorporate one word or even one action or not, your energy is projecting in response. Do not fool yourself into a thought process that the other individual is not aware, for they are, just as are you. (Chuckles) This is the source of your freedom, my friend.

ROB: (Laughs) Yesterday I wrote down the word “unprotecting.”

ELIAS: How appropriate!

ROB: (Laughs) I was thinking of myself as a very small one.


ROB: Yes. Exposure, you were speaking of.

ELIAS: Yes. Quite appropriate in association with this discussion. (Chuckles)

ROB: Well, we are drawing towards a close.

Two months ago, I had reached a point... How should I put this? I felt that I couldn’t go on. I don’t feel able to sustain this rigidity in my expression. There are many moments in which... Well, in every moment I’m aware that I satisfy my wants in a sense, but I have very rarely been allowing my preferences, if I can put it like that. Having arrived at a decision, so to speak, that I couldn’t go on, in certain respects I have been able to choose my preferences. I’ve completely changed my objectively expressed personal living space. I get pleasure from it in a way I didn’t previously.

What I have not achieved is something we’ve talked about at length. I am not expressing my emotions or my sexuality in interaction with others. Now, I can see that what we’ve been talking about is very related.

ELIAS: Quite.

ROB: I’m not sure that you can really add to what you have said in our previous discussions in very full.

ELIAS: Recognize yourself, my friend. Recognize your shield. And in this, recognize your potential, that which you express within your terms what you incorporate as an offering of yourself.

You incorporate a tremendous passion and a tremendous capacity for interaction and affection, but what do you do? I am aware of your energy, and I am aware of what swirls within you. You are aware of that energy also and that passion and that capacity for affection and appreciation, but you are also aware, as am I, what you do. And what is it that you do? You shield. You do not allow that exposure. What is your fear, that you shall unleash this tiger and that it shall be uncontrollable? (Humorously) The fear of it all!

ROB: Yes.

ELIAS: Let me express to you, in your exposure lies your freedom. Other individuals shall not perceive you to be a lunatic. (Rob laughs) Other individuals shall not perceive you to be this uncontrollable fire, although I am quite aware that you wish that they would at times. (Rob laughs and Elias chuckles)

It is not destruction that awaits. It is freedom, that freedom to express yourself. In allowance of that freedom in that exposure, you do not merely create an avenue in which you may freely express yourself, but in that energy, you begin to project that energy outwardly, and it is recognized by other individuals. I may express to you quite definitely, that exposure and that freedom is very attractive to other individuals, for they want the same. For they incorporate their own challenges in allowing themselves that expression, and therefore they naturally draw themselves to the beacon that is expressing.

I am aware that this is quite a challenge. (Rob laughs) But consult yourself and inquire of yourself of whether it is worth the attempt and the risk, for the rewards that are reaped are tremendous. Shall you hold yourself within your prison of your non-exposure, or shall you unlock yourself and generate that exposure and allow yourself to receive?

ROB: Well, I don’t think I can sustain it any longer, so it’s an interesting dilemma.

ELIAS: Perhaps attempt to turn the key. (Chuckles)

ROB: I feel as if I’m on a cliff edge, and one can jump off a cliff and smash on the rocks or can jump into the sea and enjoy the freedom of swimming.

ELIAS: Or one may jump off the cliff and fly, and soar in your freedom.

ROB: I know when I read the book called “Jonathan Livingston Seagull,” I wept a few tears sometimes.

ELIAS: And now you move to your point of your freedom and your crossroads. As I have expressed, this is a turning point. This wave is tremendously empowering. If you choose to move in conjunction with it, it may be tremendously liberating. (Pause)

ROB: If I may ask two very quick last things?

ELIAS: You may.

ROB: Some time ago I was very surprised to feel angry with Bosie, Lord Alfred Douglas. (Elias laughs) Not someone I was thinking about at all, and hadn’t thought about.

ELIAS: I am quite understanding! (Chuckles)

ROB: I was at a time when, quite unlike me, I had an interest in boxing, which has never been something that’s featured in my life. I’m wondering if I hold a focus who is in any way associated with that Bosie?

ELIAS: Yes. In actuality, as a brief lover of this individual.

ROB: Oh! Thank you. So I have cause to be angry with him myself!

ELIAS: Within the expressions of your beliefs, quite! (Chuckles)

ROB: The other point is something just in the last couple of weeks, that on two occasions I’ve had young foreign students come towards me, two separate groups, and on each occasion one individual within the group approaching me. There’s actually physically – I say physically – I have felt a physical tug on my eyes so that I’m looking directly into the eyes of one individual in each of these two parties. In each case, the individual burst out laughing immediately after this. I’m wondering if they are consciously playing with their ability to have this effect on another.

ELIAS: Yes, and also the laughter is a combination of the expression of being pleased with their accomplishment, but also mixed, so to speak, with an element of embarrassment that they have been caught in the action. For you also incorporate a recognition of the action in your responsiveness to the individual.

Remember, energy is much more clearly experienced than any action or any verbal communication. In this, the individuals are aware of the energy that they are projecting, but for the most part in their experimentations with energy, the other individual receiving the energy is not aware of what is occurring. Therefore, in a manner of speaking, they have been caught with the prize by yourself, which is somewhat startling. Therefore, it is a combination of glee in self-acknowledgment but also an expression of nervousness in embarrassment that they have been caught.

ROB: And one of them perhaps got rather more of a response than he was expecting from me. (Both laugh)

ELIAS: And perhaps you shall practice with YOUR openness and YOUR exposure! (Both laugh)

ROB: It is something for me to even look into the eyes of another person.

ELIAS: Perhaps practice.

ROB: Yes. (Elias chuckles) Well, thank you once again, Elias.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my dear friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall continue to offer my energy to you in each day in encouragement and PLAYFULNESS, in reminding you to be playful and therefore perhaps facilitate this exposure somewhat more easily...

ROB: Thank you, Elias.

ELIAS: less seriousness. I express my tremendous affection to you, as always, Mendoe, and in the genuineness of love. Au revoir.

ROB: Au revoir.

Elias departs after 1 hour 13 minutes (actual time not available).

< Previous session | Go to the top | Next session >

© 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.