Sunday, February 04, 2001
ďPay More Attention to YourselfĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Norma (Paul).
Elias arrives at 12:19 PM. (Arrival time is 17 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
NORMA: Hi, Elias, how are you?
ELIAS: As always! And yourself?
NORMA: Good. It has been a long time, but Iím very glad that I will finally be able to talk to you.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And what shall we be discussing this day?
NORMA: I kind of wanted to talk to you by phone, but I guess anyway itís always, quote, ďtalking to you.Ē So I have three questions, no?
ELIAS: Very well.
NORMA: They are for you, and the reason they are for you is because I have not been able to figure out why ... or I havenít been able to solve them, in the sense that they still represent some disruption in my life now.
ELIAS: Very well.
NORMA: The first one relates to my body, you know, to my health. But I guess thatís the most important one, because it relates to my health. It took me five years ... because I went to the doctor and he discovered some small tumors in my uterus which are benign, and they need to be removed by surgery, which I have not done because that would represent for me a lot of movement, like not going to work for one month, not doing exercise and going out for my routine, so I have not done it.
But instead of getting better, they are there and they cause a lot of pain every month and everything. So I need to do something about them, and I was just curious about why is it that I got them. In general, I am a really healthy person. I donít know why I have them, why I created them, if it would be possible to get rid of them without the surgery. Thatís something Iím really hoping for.
ELIAS: Very well. I may express to you, Paul, that you may, in actuality, affect this physical situation without engaging this action of surgery. But let me also express to you that within the probabilities that you are creating presently, I may say to you that within this now, it may be unlikely that you shall engage that type of action. (Leaning forward) But it is not impossible.
I shall express to you, you have created this situation quite purposefully to be allowing yourself to pay more attention to yourself, and turning your attention from its hold, so to speak, outside of yourself.
Now; let me express to you, this creation, in expressing to you your desire to be paying more attention to yourself, is creating a situation in which you are communicating to yourself that in order to be paying more attention to you, you need be, in a manner of speaking, within yourself slowing your own movement, and temporarily disengaging much of your busy-ness that distracts your attention from yourself.
Now; you have been creating several different expressions of imagery, not merely this one physical affectingness, that are all expressing the same communication to you. You engage some expressions of difficulty with other individuals Ė some individuals specifically, of which you are aware Ė and in this, you are also directing your attention to you. For you are engaging objective imagery, creating objective imagery in different manners, with the expectation that other individuals shall provide the expressions to you that you view as lacking within yourself.
Now; one of these identifications of what you view to be lacking within yourself, and therefore you seek through the expressions of other individuals, is attention. This is not a negative. This is not a chastisement. This is merely an identification that you desire this attention of self, and you are substituting that attention with the attempt to be offering yourself that expression through other individuals; but it is not adequately satisfying. Therefore, you continue to be creating different types of objective imagery to be gaining your own attention and expressing to yourself this tremendous desire that you hold within yourself to be freely expressing yourself, to be freely exploring your OWN abilities, your own direction and your own wants.
Now; I may express to you, it is quite possible to be affecting of this physical condition, so to speak, without engaging your medical sciences. But in affecting this situation, the manner in which you shall accomplish that is to be listening to the communication that you are expressing to yourself and allowing yourself to be responding to that communication; and the communication that you are expressing to yourself is to be paying more attention to your own expressions, to your own wants, to your own desires and your own direction, and offering yourself the expression of choice in recognizing that your genuine desire is to be allowing yourself to be directing of your course, so to speak, rather than creating this role of being a victim of other individuals and of yourself. For you create this role of the victim within yourself, in relation to yourself and to other individuals, by denying yourself your own choices and the recognition of your own abilities. Are you understanding?
NORMA: So far, yes, I think so. Does it work like a sort of punishment? Because I feel like I donít deserve it, but then because Iím aware of what youíre telling me now, because Iím aware of my situation now and Iím not able to do something about it, so then instead of that, then I sort of ... it works like a punishment as well as calling my attention?
Because maybe the way I understand what you told me is, I donít find enough attention but I expect to get it from others, and I say, ďOkay, I canít get it from others, so I get it from myself,Ē and then I get it from myself, but I cannot do it in a healthy way. So because I cannot, say, pay attention to me, I have to create this disruption so that I have to pay attention to myself. But this is not a healthy way of attracting attention, and it also works like a punishment, no? Because maybe Iím so angry that I say, ďWell, if I cannot do it the proper way then ... well, you have to pay attention anyway.Ē
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes, your association is correct within you as an individual, for what you express to yourself is the lack of trust that you hold the ability to be offering yourself the expressions that you desire. Therefore you turn your attention, and in your association with yourself and your beliefs, you create a communication to yourself of anger and frustration and your response to that communication of anger and frustration which are communicating to you, ďI do not hold the ability to change or alter my reality. I cannot offer to myself what I genuinely desire,Ē and once you have communicated that message to yourself, you respond in your identification of punishment.
And in actuality, what you are creating is precisely what you expect. It is precisely what you believe. Therefore, it is expressed outwardly in physical affectingness, in interactions in your relationships, and in other imagery that you create objectively, outwardly, in which you view yourself to be the victim of circumstances, situations, and other individuals.
Now; what I express to you is, you may engage your medical sciences, and (spoken very deliberately) there is no wrong choice in that engagement. In actuality, in listening to your own communication to yourself, it may be beneficial to you to be recognizing that you are expressing a communication to yourself to be discontinuing this busy-ness of distraction and to incorporate an actual time framework in which you allow yourself to pay attention to you and slow your movement and engage yourself, evaluating YOUR genuine wants and desires, not those that you assume from other individuals, not those that are being dictated to you by other individuals, and not those camouflaged wants that you dictate to yourself in relation to the beliefs that you hold concerning what you should or should not be engaging or creating. You express much energy in the association with what you should and should not be creating.
In this, you may also be affecting of this physical condition, so to speak, without your medical sciences. But in order to be affecting of this creation that you have expressed, the method, so to speak, shall be very similar. For without turning your attention to you and incorporating an actual time framework in which you allow yourself to slow your movement and stop distracting yourself from yourself in all of your busy-ness, you shall continue to be creating of this physical condition. Are you understanding?
NORMA: Mm-hmm, yes. I think so, yes. So, yes, it sounds really complicated, you know? (Laughing) I donít know how Iíll manage it. (Elias laughs) So it is complicated, but...
ELIAS: In actuality, my friend, it is not as complicated as it may appear. What I am expressing to you is, in actuality, the simplicity of merely allowing yourself to stop distracting yourself, and paying attention to your own voice.
NORMA: Yes, but you were just telling us about the camouflage, this camouflage thing in which sometimes you donít even know what you really want, or what youíre expected to want, so...
ELIAS: You are correct, and this is discovered in allowing yourself to genuinely pay attention to you, and not continuing to hold your attention outside of you.
NORMA: Yes, I think that I have been working on that lately, and I have been kind of moving, though, and thatís why I think that I have been able to stop a little bit this thing, because as I told you, it was five years ago that they discovered the tumors in me, and they have improved. It hasnít improved the condition, but it hasnít really gone that bad.
ELIAS: I am understanding and I am acknowledging of you, and I shall validate to you that you are correct. You are already creating this movement. Were you not moving in this direction of turning your attention more to yourself, you would not be engaging this conversation with myself this day.
NORMA: (Laughs) I didnít think I would on Friday, though! But, yes, youíre right. And you know, what really, really triggered the conversation was that I was held up for the third time in three years last week. I was robbed. The three times I have been in my car, and always the people ... it had been a tremendous day and in very busy streets, and the three times men have approached me with guns, and the three times they have taken my watches Ė three different watches, expensive watches. The first one I was really attached to because it was a present from my mother. I didnít present any resistance, though, and I gave them the three times without saying a word. And also, the three times my cellular phone has been taken now. So I donít know why, you know?
I got out of it the first time that it was kind of, well, that you have to be held up once in your life, and the second time I said, well, bad luck, but now this third time it was really shocking. The most weird thing about it was that for me this third time was kind of natural, you know? It was like, okay, I have been held up and thatís it, so it was kind of rough. It really shocked me, because I think I cannot get used to being held up like that. (Elias chuckles) And I donít know why I have been Ė it has happened to me three times by now.
ELIAS: Quite! Now; look to this imagery that you have created, for I shall express to you quite definitely, you have drawn this to yourself. Therefore, you have created it. In this, allow yourself to be examining this imagery that you have presented to yourself, for it is obvious objective imagery expressing the very concept that I have presented to you this day.
You have engaged this action in which you view yourself to be a victim of actions that are incorporated by other individuals Ė that is one aspect. Also examine all of the imagery that is incorporated in this action. You are presented with this action within a specific time of your day Ė not within the lurking night hours and darkness, but within your daylight hours, in the BUSY-NESS of the day and the confusion of the streets, which represents within your imagery the busy-ness of yourself and the confusion of all of the clamor that you incorporate within your focus, moving your attention in many, many directions simultaneously, and therefore also placing demands and expectations upon yourself.
Now also view another aspect of this imagery that you have presented to yourself. What is taken, so to speak, from you are your watch and your telephone, and this is classically obvious imagery that you are presenting to yourself. For what is the representation of your phone and your watch but that of communication which may be expressed outwardly and time? And in this, in your physical terms, what is stolen from you? Time. What is stolen from you? Your object of outward communication.
This is, in actuality, perfectly precise, accurate and obvious imagery that you are presenting to yourself. You are not listening, and therefore you create more of an extreme in the imagery that you offer to yourself to be paying attention to yourself. And what is your response, but that of a lack of response? For you have been shouting communications to yourself, incorporating an extensive time framework, to the point that you are not listening to the shouting any longer, and in this you have moved into a point within yourself of questioning. What are you creating? What are you attempting to be communicating to yourself that you view it necessary to be incorporating these extremes of imagery to be gaining your attention?
And now, rather than reacting, you are beginning to move into an expression of quieting yourself, and moving in the expression of examining your own communications, and offering yourself the opportunity to become familiar with you and your desires and your wants and the direction that YOU wish to be incorporating, and therefore not creating these extremes in the objective imagery that you present to yourself.
I may express to you, Paul, this event that you have created in this experience of robbery, so to speak, is an excellently creative expression that you have offered to yourself to be clearly communicating a message that you view as quite important to be received by yourself. Therefore, although your beliefs assess that this type of event is quite negative, I may express to you, it also has been quite beneficial in gaining your attention and allowing you an opportunity to examine what you are creating, and the opportunity to listen to yourself.
NORMA: So then, even though I see mentally that this is my imagery and my belief systems, these three robberies, and even though I think that instead of reacting as I always did, you know, being really shocked, this time I decided to ... it seemed more, well, more natural somehow. Because now, for me, itís not only a question of bad luck, and Iím thinking itís not bad luck, itís not coincidence, itís the third time it happened to me! So then youíre telling me that ... thatís good, you know. Thatís a good approach, and Iím doing it in a way that Iím not shouting any more, but Iím quiet and decided to look at it in a more calm way.
ELIAS: Yes, and in this you are beginning your movement in recognizing that you are not in actuality the victim of this event, but you are beginning moving your attention into a recognition that you yourself have created this event.
NORMA: Now, I have been reading also that itís also my responsibility, no?
ELIAS: It is your responsibility to be paying attention to yourself and recognizing what you are creating, and not projecting outwardly in blame to other individuals. For there is no blame in relation to other individuals and their choices, for you have created this situation.
NORMA: Yes, okay. Okay, I see. One last question, Elias, and it has to do with my son. Heís twelve years old, and heís doing quite well, in general. Heís healthy. Heís a very good boy, I could say. But it has been three months that he has been creating these nervous ticks, and you understand what I mean by...
NORMA: He does these movements, you know, with his eyes, and sometimes also he suckles his mouth, and he does it in a nervous manner.
ELIAS: Yes, I am understanding. (Slight pause) Continue.
NORMA: I have been talking to him about those and asking him why he does them, and he says that he cannot avoid doing them.
ELIAS: You are correct, presently, for he is creating this physical action in an expression of fear. In the moments that he is creating these physical actions, he is also experiencing anxieties and fear within self.
Now; I may express to you that this expression of fear is present in an underlying manner continuously with this individual, but at times it is expressed more openly or more objectively, and it may be at times expressed in a manner of anxiety or what you may term to be unsureness of self. In this, this small one also looks to you and watches what you are creating and allows himself a recognition of your energy, and in relationship with you, he creates an expression of fear or anxiety within self as he observes your actions and your incorporation of paying much attention to outside expressions and situations.
Therefore I may express to you, you may be helpful to this small one, in relation to this expression of anxiety that he creates, in the action of paying attention to yourself and allowing yourself more freedom and more of an expression of choice within yourself, and not concentrating your attention so extremely outside of yourself. And this shall be recognized and noticed within the small one, and this action in itself shall be reassuring, in a manner of speaking, and offering an expression of energy to him in which he may allow himself to be creating a similar action, recognizing his own abilities and, in your physical terminology, offering himself more of an expression of confidence within himself.
I am aware that you view this small one as confident and self-assured, in your terms, in some expressions. But within himself, there is a lack of sureness. This is expressed in a lack of genuine knowing of his own abilities and an incorporation of doubting his own abilities and his own trust of himself. Therefore, as he observes your actions, he also may offer to himself a new expression of confidence and allowing himself to move through this anxiety and this doubtfulness of self.
I may express to you, he creates his reality just as you create yours and every other individual creates theirs, and you are not responsible for his reality. But in the relationship that you have created together, his choice is engaging observing you as an example.
Therefore, as you turn your attention to you and allow yourself to genuinely be paying attention to self and not assuming personal responsibility for other individuals, you also provide the example of the straight little sapling(1), which shall be observed by this small one and incorporated as an example to himself of his own abilities. Are you understanding?
NORMA: Yes, yes, I understand. So everything at the ending is like in a circle. It refers to the same thing about paying attention to myself, no?
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
NORMA: And listening to myself...
NORMA: ...and not concerning me at all until Iím responsible for myself as well.
NORMA: It is interesting for me to listen to you and mentioning the word ďvictimĒ now. I used to see myself as one before, and lately I have been trying to work on that and trying to relate that to the concept of responsibility. And in that respect, the victim thing disappears, because the moment that you become responsible for your things, the moment that you stop being a victim ... no?
ELIAS: Yes. For as you allow yourself to view your own responsibility to self, you offer yourself choices.
NORMA: Mmm ... okay. So then the point here is trying to ... because I think that everything refers to the same thing about me not paying attention to myself and about me not being able to stop something which I consider that victimizes me.
NORMA: So the moment I start listening to myself ... and not only listening, because I think that I listen to myself but Iím not able to do something about it, you know? Because I think that I know what I want, but the point is that Iím not able to...
ELIAS: It is not a...
NORMA: ...because I also express fear, and Iím frightened for the consequences of whatever I might do.
ELIAS: Yes, and I may express to you, Paul, it is not a situation in which you are not able to be creating what you want or to be paying attention to yourself. It is an expression that you are not offering yourself permission to be creating those expressions within your focus. You do hold the ability. You are not offering yourself permission to create that.
NORMA: So then that means that I have been paying attention, but I have not ... that means I have been paying attention, no?
ELIAS: Yes. But you are moving more into a recognition of what you are paying attention to, and in this, as you recognize more of your own expressions, you also allow yourself to move deeper into self and recognize that you are paying attention to what you are creating. You are paying attention to your identification of the role of the victim that you create, but now you move yourself into the recognition that you are denying your own choices and you are not allowing yourself permission to be creating what you want to be creating in listening to yourself, and this is the expression of the victim.
NORMA: Okay. But I think that at least for now I have to ... I mean right now, in step one, listening to myself ... but I have to be able to overpass that first step, no?
NORMA: Yes. So take the other step, no? To give the other step?
NORMA: Yes, okay. I think I have a lot of things to do! (Elias laughs) A lot right now to think about!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Quite!
NORMA: Yes, a lot, and I think that Iíll talk to you soon.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall be encouraging of you in this adventure that you are engaging, and I shall offer to you an expression of my energy that may be present with you as you continue in your identifications of you and becoming more familiar with yourself, for I recognize the challenge that you present to yourself in this action. Therefore, accept from myself my expression of energy in helpfulness to you.
NORMA: Oh, and I will be, and Iím very grateful about that, and I will be receiptful of that, be sure.
ELIAS: Very well. I express to you tremendous affection and anticipate our next meeting, perhaps not incorporating the length of timeframe work in the interim. Ha ha ha!
NORMA: (Laughs) Yes, definitely. Okay.
ELIAS: To you this day, my friend, au revoir.
NORMA: Thank you very much for everything, Elias, and I will be thinking of what you said, and about you, okay?
ELIAS: Very well. To you, au revoir.
NORMA: Thank you.
Elias departs at 1:07 PM.
(1) From Session 37, 9/13/95, the story of the straight little sapling:
I will give you a small story, which you may contemplate through this week. In this, be thinking of belief systems, and of connection. My story incorporates two saplings, both exactly identical, both newly growing; one growing naturally, and reaching towards the sun, and basking within its rays, and drinking naturally of the rain, and resting to the moon. The other is looking around, and is viewing the sky, and is seeing the sun, and is saying to itself, ďMaybe I should be growing at night! The sun is very hot. It may burn me, or it may sap my energy, and the rain is very wet, and it get all over me, and I am not sure I am liking of this rain, and I am not sure that it is making me grow properly, and maybe I should be investigating where this rain is coming from, and I should be analyzing the sunrays to be sure that I am incorporating the proper vitamins, or maybe the moon is more friendly to my growth, and I would grow tall if I am growing at nighttime, while this idiot sapling next to me is being stunted by the sun!Ē
And in the morning, the one sapling is stretching its newly formed branches, and uncurling its soft leaves, and growing within complete trust; and the other sapling in the morning is viewing the same sun, and is looking at the beautifully formed other sapling, and it is looking like this: (Here, Elias twists his body and face into a grotesque contortion, followed by hearty laughter.)
(Smiling) Now, this story is about belief systems, and the noticing of these belief systems. It is also about trust and connection. It also incorporates proper personal responsibility. This one trusting sapling incorporates a genuine personal responsibility in NOT trying to change or help the analyzing sapling, but as it grows true and strong and trusting, it radiates an example. It shines in its essence as an example to the other sapling, and as the other sapling unconvolutes itself throughout the day, it notices the straight sapling, and it chooses the focus of effortlessness and trust as being easier, for it has been shown an example.
© 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.